Drugs Mule ‘Mr Crackhead’

Mr Crackhead the drugs mule is literally that; a twat caught trying to smuggle coke under an unbelievably ridiculous and dodgy syrup.
The wassock was nabbed as he got off a flight from Columbia (where else?) at the appropriately named El-Prat airport in Barcelona. Security claimed that he ‘looked nervous’ as he got off the flight. Personally I think the fact that he had what resembled a large, dead rat perched suspiciously high on his bonce might have had more to do with it.
Upon detention, it was found that a half kilo of cocaine was stashed under the wig. Now it goes without saying that drug runners are cunts, but it takes a spectacular grade of cunt to try and get away with a wheeze as utterly inept as this.
It is to be assumed that Mr Crackhead will now be detained at the pleasure of the Spanish authorities for some time. Personally I wouldn’t bother with any of that; I’d just make the cunt eat the shit, then see if he thought drug running was such a good idea. That would never do though. After all, there’s the cunt’s ‘human rights’ to consider…

Nominated by Ron Knee

47 thoughts on “Drugs Mule ‘Mr Crackhead’

  1. Ha! Have to keep coolhand Luke when smuggling!
    Not like this berk, he wigged out.

  2. Lucky he didn’t try that stunt in Franco’s time. He’d have been executed for the hair, let alone the coke!

    • Altogether now . . . .
      🎵 He’s got a pine . .apple on his head.
      He’s got a pine . .apple on his head. 🎵

      • The police were said to have made the comment . . . . . .
        ‘There is no limit to the inventiveness of drug traffickers trying to mock controls.’
        Inventiveness?
        What next – Moon Rocks in his socks?

  3. Thank god it was Spain and not here. If it was in the U.K. first of all the Somalians, Nigerians and assorted peacefuls in customs would never have spotted him. If they had he would have bunged them a tenner to walk through.
    If by some miracle he had ended up in court he would have had thousands of pounds in legal aid for some yewman rites brief to spin some sob story. If by a further miracle he had been found guilty he would have got 3 months in Butlins. Using the phone in his luxury , Sky equipped room (known as a cell) he would have arranged for his wife, kids, parents and siblings to come over, claim a few council houses and benefits while begging and shoplifting. On release he would have claimed that prison turned him gay and been granted full citizenship and several hundred grand compo.
    I agree, he was a fucking idiot……he should have flown to Heathrow not fucking Spain.
    Thick as shit.

    • Lordy, as if the cunting wasn’t good enough…excellent Fred! Also any chance you can tell your cunt of a cousin, Freddo, to lower his fucking prices ?

    • Looks like kevin Spacey in pic?
      Reckon hes the sacrificial lamb,
      Obvious as fuck, gets a tug by customs while the pregnant women 3 rows down breezes through carrying 4times the amount of coke.
      Like a bloke in a wig cheers me up,
      Fuck that shaving your head when bald and sensibly accepting it,
      Go kicking & screaming in a obvious ‘syrup’.

      • Kevin Spacey wouldn’t have minded being stopped and strip searched, in fact, he would have insisted on a thorough anal probe.

      • Off topic- Richard Gere sticking his beak into Italys business said about italy ‘demonising’ immigrants,
        Salvinis said ‘take them with you to your hollywood villas!’ Haha
        Wish we had a salvini type rather than the shithouses we do have.

        • 😁😁😁😆😂
          Fuck me that made me laugh…..”put them on your private jet and take them back to Hollywood.” That told the virtue signalling old fraud. Well done Mr Salvini!
          Wish we had someone with the balls to say that to Gary Taxdodger, Lily Slagheap and the rest of the sleb humanitarians.

          • Hes put in a no-confidence vote in italy so should be going to a general election, jesus hed get my vote in a heartbeat!
            Richard Gere should stick to shoving small rodents up his dirtbox the fuckin freak and keep out of other peoples business, the cheeky cunt.

          • Richard Gere was obviously just researching potential castings for a reboot of the 80’s Eddie Murphy film, ‘Coming to America’. There is surely a Nigerian chieftain or deposed Somalian prince among them.

          • Same as that sanctimonious arsehole George Clooney. Bet he’s got loads of fucking immos next door to his villa on Lake Como. Also boils my piss with the C list celebs constant whinging over Donald Trump. Donald isn’t perfect, we all know that, but he’s looking after his own people first, creating good jobs with good wages. The majority of these celebs have probably never had the fucking shitty experience of redundancy and trying to make ends meet on low wages. Donald Trump is giving people back the dignity of a job to go to in the morning to support your family with a pay check at the end of it. The moaning, whinging multi millionaire holier than thou celebs can kiss my hairy arse the wankers.

        • Good response from Salvini. These media and Hollywood types don’t have a clue what they are talking about, espousing Libshite from their luxury villas.

          It reminds me of when Thatcher was collared by St Bob Geldoff at the time of the Ethiopian famine and berated by him for allowing the West to have a huge butter mountain when there are starving people in the world. Thatcher coolly reminded him that they could “ hardly eat butter”, revealing Geldoff for the fool that he was ( and still is).

          • Well they could have had toast if the lazy, Oirish, multi millionaire drug pusher has scrounged some out of date bread off of Sainsbury’s.
            Or he could have spent some time with his family and stopped them overdosing on the kind of shit this Colombian fucker had under his rug.
            St Bob Goboff…….one of the world’s biggest cunts.

  4. Thought hed be similar, Brazils Bolsorano, looks like Bob Monkhouse?was touted as a south American Trump, and said he was going to sort out crime, drugs, bandits etc.
    Then..fuck all!
    Done nowt, lying around in gold lame swimming trunks listening to salsa music the twat.

  5. no doubt the liberals will be up in arms and demanding his release via a crowdfund whip-round.

    They will defend him by saying he has mental health issues (seems to be the new Thing these days), and just wanted to keep it under his hat!

  6. Priceless ! Silly cunt would have been less conspicuous wheeling it through in a barrow.

    Well spotted Ron

    • Thanks SG. Thought it might give the troops on here a laugh. Spot of light relief from fucking politicos, gobshite luvvies and SJWs, the cunts.

  7. Off road for a mo…

    Profligate failure Gordon ‘bigoted woman’ Brown has been let out of his padded cell again. Apparently the UK is “sleepwalking into oblivion.” 😳

    He has warned of “an unprecedented economic calamity precipitated by a No Deal exit from the EU”. Also Britain “could not survive the divisiveness and chaos of a no-deal Brexit”.

    Furthermore, to prevent the rise of dysfunctional nationalism, Mr Broon said, “the first step is to stop No Deal in its tracks”.

    Cripes, I didn’t see that coming!

    • Gordon columbo Brown can get fucked.
      Morning Rtc! You got your new mobile phone yet?

      • Morning MNC.

        It’s early days yet… I still have until the 14th of September to capitulate. Donald Tusk has advised me to “please do not waste this time”. Cunt.

        • Soon be sending ‘selfies’ to mrs creampuff and downloading ‘icecream for crow’ as your ringtone!😀

          • As wonderful as ‘Crow’ is, am more likely to use ‘Dachau Blues’ or ‘Neon Meate Dream Of A Octafish’.

    • A bit like the oblivion him and that twat Blair left us in. This is the twat who left a note on the desk saying there’s no more money left to the incoming Tory government. Anything said my Gordon Brown I take with a huge chunk of salt.

  8. I’ve no sympathy for drug mules.
    They’re always crying their eyes out for getting caught, but one would surely consider the nature of the deal when offered.
    Given that the 1998 figures claim a global drug trade of 400 billion, and the 2018 figures claim a half trillion, it is obvious that the drug trade is truly enormous. So big in fact, that in twenty years no-one has bothered revising the estimate in any meaningful way. I recall reading in the Economist that drugs were second only to guns in the global market.
    Now, consider the half kilo you’re being asked to push inside your shitter.
    Yeah, someone’s having a bit of fun you.
    No doubt there’s a camera in the hotel room and the mexicans are doubled over in pain from laughing so goddam hard at your messy efforts to violate yourself.
    Drug mules are natural victims. They would have attracted bullies in school. If it wasn’t a drug cartel it would have been a car or plane crash. Or something like a barrymore pool party.
    The idea that a half trillion dollars worth of drugs makes it’s way around the planet concealed in or on retarded individuals just doesn’t add up.
    Let’s do some maths:
    In February this year a haul of 9.5 tonnes of cocaine was siezed (of the coast of Africa surprise, surprise).
    Now, let us suppose there’s a glut of mules available. How many would be needed?
    Ok, half a kilo per mule.
    9500 kilos of cocaine.
    That’s 19000 utter dickheads and 19000 plane tickets required.

    To move the sheer quantity of drugs that are sold, there is only one concievable way to do it.
    Through official channels.

    • Sadly you’re right C; eg there’s been talk of American ‘intelligence agencies’ funding ‘off the books’ activities through drug trading for donkey’s.

    • This is what makes me laugh about Project assertions that we will run out of everything in two weeks after a WTO Brexit.

      The worldwide drugs trade seems to cope quite well without any (overt) assistance from Governments or Trade Bodies!

  9. Anyone have any info on the ethnicity of the 56 year old man who attacked the police officer with a machete?

    Place your bets………

    • Could be wrong, but think it refers to the surplus energy with which it inspires its users, with a sideswipe at the perceived effectiveness of South American military units. In full, “Colombian marching powder.”

      Other interpretations welcome.

  10. Spot on cunting,thank you.
    A tremendous tale for sure.The interrogation video is hilarious I dare say.
    What a cunt.

  11. Not sure whether this guy deserves a cunting because the pictures and scenario kept me chuckling for ages…

    • I wonder whether the twat had any more coke ‘about his person’, if you get my drift. What a job it must be checking out the cavities of these cunts, or waiting to see what comes out the arse end. Bloody Nora.

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