Jeff Koons

Jeff Koons
Koons is an American conman who has made a fortune out of persuading filthy rich collectors with more money than sense to buy his ludicrous “works of art”. It´s difficult to describe the triteness and blatant phoniness of his material. One of his most famous pieces is a metal sculpture called “Rabbit” which sold for US$91 million. Yes US$91 million!!! It´s said to be the highest price paid for any living artist´s work.
I recently saw a TV interview with Koons who said he had been commissioned to create a sculpture for a Swedish couple who admired his work and was thinking of creating a piston engine that would be 50 feet high and cost somewhere between US$25 million and U$50 million. The Swedes loved the idea and have presumably written a blank cheque payable to Koons.
Despite all this hype, Koons, the darling of the American and Eurotrash art scene, sprang to fame on the back – or should I say up the arse – of a porn slut called Ilona Staller better known as Cicciolina. He was married to her in the 1980s and later made a series of pictures and sculptures with names like “Dirty Ejaculation” and “Ilonaʼs Asshole” showing him screwing her.
Do I sound jealous of him? Of course I fucking well am!

Nominated by Mr Polly


20 thoughts on “Jeff Koons

  1. Not heard of this cunt but do trust the judgement of Mr Polly.

    In saying that though if i had the chance to stick it up all those cunts, including the porn star, for that amount of coin, even a quarter of it, id do it in a heartbeat.

  2. Shit like this makes me think the West is fucked, already dead we just ain’t been told yet.

  3. Bullshit art and artists have been around for a while and ponce’s like Koons deserve a cunting.

    We have our own home grown bullshit artists – Damian Hurst, that other cunt that dresses like an ugly old bat ( Perry Grayson or whatever he’s called) and that trollope with the great tits and hideous face ( Tracy Emin). She even sold her dirty bedroom as art, presumably with the sheets stained from her latest period.

    • I wouldnt fuck Tracey Vermin even if she offered me her entire “Art Collection” for free.Looks like a leper escaped from Spinalonga island

  4. It’s a symptom of progressive leftism and actually a regressism of the mind. It’s now found in art , architecture, film , music and morals.

    Any one with 2 balls and a spine that possesses a liberal self sustaining brain will look at neo classical architecture in admiration of their attempts at mimicking the great awe inspired creations of the ancient empires……not a swimming pool atop Notre Dame

    They’re ruining everything the utter utter cunts

  5. Most “Artistics” be it sculptors.painters,actors,writers etc. are sexual miscreants.

    I,of course,have a full-size portrait of myself hanging in my baronial dining hall. I painted it myself after a most upsetting experience when I commissioned two.apparently.well-regarded “artists” called Gilbert and George to capture my magnificence for the benefit of future generations.
    Two raving Homosexuals turned up for my first “sitting”…luckily.the hounds got to the antique oak (with solid brass knocker) door before me. The waft of lavender sent them into a frenzy long before the artists’ pink jeep pulled up in the stackyard. Not wishing to be impolite, I lent out of the third floor turret window and shouted at them to “Bugger Off, you rampaging arsebandits” before one lisped back at me “but Mr.Fiddler,it’s Gwilbert’n George,you rang uth about coming to touch up your likeness”….well, I was pussystruck until I remembered drunk-dialling anyone who had appeared in the past with Melvyn Bragg and telling them that he was a Cunt,they were highly sinister and that I too was an artist…..”a fucking piss-artist” before breaking in to hysterical laughter at my own rapier wit.
    Obviously,I couldn’t allow them to remain on the premises so I threw them down a photo of me taken in the rugby showers…well.that was a mistake….the buggers took one look,ejaculated into their lacy underwear and fled the scene. I thought that I’d seen the last of them until the posty delivered what I took to be another threatening letter,just slightly longer. In fact the paper was covered with a daubing apparently of a wild boar,however it was the smell that upset me…the Cunts had drawn it in their own Shit!,underneath was the title….” Fiddler the Cunt”.

    Artists can Fuck Off.

    • Great story Dick definitely had me laughing, can’t trust those high society art poofs

      Also wanted to let you know my local resident woodpecker who occasionaly stalks me when I water my garden I named after you in your honour. Naughty fucker flew 4ft from my face last week and I called him a dick when he startled me the name just stuck. I hear his woodpecking in the woods quite often sometimes up to 5 or 6 times day

  6. The last line says it all. I think the cunts who buy this dross in the course of oneupping each other in the nonessential possessions war must be the real subjects of the cunting. The verdict of history on most of the 20th/21st century shysters masquerading as artists will be “Who?”
    You really can’t be sure if anyone’s any good until they’ve been dead for 50 years, so kudos for Koons picking up the profits before he’s found out. Parting idiotically rich dilettante halfwits from their surplus assets is a worthy endeavour, and intense jealousy of the man’s success is the only appropriate response.
    He’s a cunt, but in a good way.

  7. I’m not going to criticize this fella, if I could find a way to fleece gormless rich cunts with more money than sense, I’d do it too. There are quite a few ‘artists’ like Gilbert and George who have a great time churning out shit and making a fortune from it. Tracey Emin’s another. Good luck to them.
    Ilona Staller was never one of my favourite porn stars. I didn’t rate her looks and she seemed to be trying to make comedies rather than serious sex films. I don’t think I ever saw her without that silly costume she used to wear.. When Koons married her, he said one of the reasons he was attracted to her was the fact that “she wasn’t carrying any guilt”. After they split up she was reported to have gone living in a nunnery.

  8. Anyone who pays $91 million for a metal rabbit that looks like a larger version of bunny you can buy in H Samuel is a total cunt, he or she should have all their money confiscated and be locked up a padded cell.
    Jeff Koons (whoever he is) is also a total cunt for actually for making a fucking rabbit in the first place, its not fucking art you cunt!

    Its like those silly cunts who buy fucking graffiti on a wall for stupid money just because its been spaffed up by some cunt called Wanksy.

    Fucking world is full of Cunts!

    • He didn’t make it, in fact. His numerous assistants did.

      “I need a big stainless steel rabbit”
      “On it, Jeff. I’ll call the design shop and alert the foundry.”

  9. When it comes to spraying some paint over a stencil, there’s nobody better than Banksy….

    • They’re damn clever stencils, though. Try to think of the result as a limited-edition print, and it feels better.

  10. Sorry Mr Polly Hijacking in process

    Chris Froome is out of the Tour de France .The four-times champion, who is in intensive care, broke a leg, ribs and an elbow after colliding with a wall .He lost control in high winds when he attempted to blow his nose🤣 while cycling at 37mph.

    Again apologies Polly but whaddyaa expect from a cunt?

  11. I dont know what to think about this until Will Gompertz tells me. I wouldnt want to accuse an emperor of being naked.

  12. After reading his Wikipedia entry i can most certainly say hes a cunt , snobby modern artist prick and of course hes from noi york

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