Pretentious Wedding Venues

I’d like to nominate the tossers who choose pretentious wedding venues. Apparently for some of these arseholes, it’s not enough just to marry in a church or registry office – no they want to show everyone how different and left- field they are, so what better place to exchange their vows than on the side of an erupting volcano or in some dingy dank multi storey car park. You get the idea, what a load of cunts. The even bigger cunts are the parents who allow it.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

33 thoughts on “Pretentious Wedding Venues

  1. You mean like the wankers who have their wedding abroad in some exotic, romantic location and expect family and friends to fork out shedloads of dough just to get out there? Pure fucking ego, narcissism and attention seeking. Fuck ‘em, the cunts.
    I’m sure Dame Emma Thompson and, child saviour, Greta Thunderbirds would have something to say about all that unnecessary air travel.
    Oh wait a minute that was last week’s fashion. It’s mental health this week isn’t it?

  2. Some of these cunts just do it so as to big up their fuckbook page – “Look at me! Look where we went, ain’t it just so cool!”

    They will then post about a thousand samey photos, mostly of the married couple, or more likely the Fuckbook cunt herself doing selfies all over the fucking shop. Including the default Italian pic of bint “leaning” against the Tower of Pisa, even the tower is about half-a-mile down the road and she’s in the foreground and it’s all line of sight. Or worse than that the Paris one with another line-of-sight of daft cunt with her hand held out with thumb and forefinger “pinching” the Eiffel Tower – yeah, how very fucking original!

    All for ego, all for vanity, and all for the “likes” on social media; while the marriage itself is just an afterthought; a means to an end. Give it a few months and it will end in tears.

    Fuck ’em

  3. Doesn’t matter where they have it,it’ll probably turn out to be the biggest mistake of their lives.

    Fuck Off.

  4. There are some pretentious cunts who I wish would get married, not on the side of a volcano, but inside the caldera of an active volcano.


  5. My nephew is planning to get hitched in Greece, which is great because he’s given me the perfect get out clause. Hate weddings me, worse than fucking funerals.

    • I got married in Rhodes there were 15 of us altogether but couldn’t care less if anybody came, It was mine and my wifes day.

      • That’s the difference, I was made to feel a right cunt (not by my nephew to be fair) for not wanting to go.

        When I got married I was hoping to do it in secret. As things turned out Uncle Tom Cobley and all turned up.

    • Dont mind a funeral, find me over by the buffet, hope theyve put a good spread on! But weddings are fuckin dreary, hate em, do anything to get out of attending, only one i enjoyed had a folk band playing, fiddles etc and hot pot for evening meal

  6. What about those cunts that showcase their originality by performing a zany dance down the isle just when nobody was expecting it. Sorry I missed it I was still in the pub.

  7. And what is it about wimmin and weddings… They act like chickens with no heads and insist on having a ‘fascinater’…. Now, this thing is like the stupid crap cunts put on top of wedding cakes… But these daft tarts put this shite on top of their stupid fluff brained heads… This -of course – is a fuck off big deal to them, but that’s wimmin for you…

  8. These are the cunts that start their married life with a 50 grand debt like a millstone around their necks as well as a new mortgage.
    Then the same cunts do nothing buy argue about their finances for the next couple of years until one of them fucks someone else and they then get a divorce and have to add the cost of the pretentious wedding onto all their other debts and spend the next 10 years trying to get sorted out.
    Anyway its all the blokes fault because this is what happens when you let some silly bitch get her way all time just to keep the piece and get a screw, so grow some balls you cunts, don’t get married and if you cant resist try to stop it spiralling out of control and may god have mercy on your soul…

    • Well said, I don’t see the point of it these days. My friends are all married to similarly ugly women, and they are miserable. I think women will cheat regardless of their circumstances as they know men are always up for it, and they want everything their own way because they’ve been told so.

  9. We got married a couple of years ago at the town hall, only guests were my parents and sisters, her parents, brother and her kids, had a little party at the local pub where wider friends and family came but nothing extravagant, the only foot on offer was crisps and peanuts. We spent the money we saved on the wedding on a new motorbike each.

      • If Fergie gets remarried to the Diddler of York, I’ll be there for some foot/toes…

    • Same here. Registry Office do, my friend was my witness, her daughter was hers, her immediate family went along, I knew my mum wouldn’t approve of the age difference (wife is 18 years older than me) so I didn’t even tell her, went to a pub for a small wedding breakfast and that was it, cost around £50 for the whole thing.

  10. That one resonates.
    Close relative, then stratospheric management/corporate bullshitter, invited me to hers. At the time I was eking out a student loan as a mature seeker of knowledge with no other income, and pretty well the clothes I was standing up in. Manoir Quat’ Saisons, it said on the invite. Would have been like the proverbial pork chop in a mosque/synagogue ( delete as preferred), so declined. With a nagging regret, which remains to this day, that I didn’t go, on my beat-up motorcycle, and drop a large turd on the wedding cake.

    Which reminds me…

  11. It doesn’t come any more pretentious than Westminster Abbey. ‘Darling, we must simply book it as our special venue. One sees it as a unique collision of royalty, religion and architecture.” Who the fuck would want to share their big day with the 3000 or so stiffs buried in the place?

  12. Freddie the Frog got it right, it’s attention-seeking, pure and simple. In fact, getting married is in itself attention-seeking. If you want to live with someone just do it, why do friends and relatives and the wider community have to become involved?

    Which reminds me, one I heard many years ago. Why does a woman watch a porn film right to the end? Because she wants to see the wedding.

  13. If i was to marry again it would be on a peacefuls dinghy half way across the channel which would mark me out forever as a virtue signaller supreme.

    • If you want to be a virtue signaller you should marry that Shemima bitch.
      Admittedly she’d slice your Infidel cock off on your wedding night but think of the likes you’ll get on Facebook!

      • Losing my cock would be a small price to pay just to have a chance for a few wonderful hours with that classic British beauty.
        Peace be upon her.

  14. I don´t understand people who get married although they are obviously mismatched – unless the woman is pregnant of course. I remember going to the wedding of my girlfriend´s sister in a posh church with a group of musicians in black suits, cummerbunds and dickie bows playing dreary chamber music. (Has a duller instrument than the cello ever been invented?) The bride was a comely wench while the groom was a gawky perfect candidate for a job with the Ministry of Funny Walks. What they had in common was a mystery to me.
    “How long do you think it will last?”, I asked my girlfriend in jest. Instead of being annoyed, she said, “Oh maybe about six months. Everyone knows that.” Sure enough, less than a year later, the bride was pregnant by another guy and the couple were heading for a divorce. So what was the point of all that time and expense, all that bloody Elgar, toasts to the bride and groom, and unfunny speech by the best man?

    • Duller than the ‘cello ??

      Indeed. The descant recorder, especially cheap, nasty, plastic spit-encrusted ones. AKA Scholastic Arse-Flutes. About the worst form of pollution by plastic (apart from most of Katy Price’s body).

      NB: am not a cellist, nor a 2ry school music teacher (if, indeed, they still exist).

  15. My wifes sister spent 40,000 dollars in her wedding day and the cunt was only 23 years old for fuck sakes the cunt is still paying it off now!!

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