Virgin Atlantic

A nomination for Virgin Atlantic airlines for the following lunacy:
Virgin Atlantic is to replace its traditional emblem with a diverse range of men and women “representing modern Britain”.
Among the people wearing a red leotard in the updated artwork – to be put on its new A350-1000 fleet – will be a black man and black woman, and a gay man.

Nikki Humphrey, senior vice president of people at Virgin Atlantic, said: “The saying goes ‘you can’t be what you can’t see’ and that has never been truer than the aviation industry’s glamorous image in the past.
“By introducing our new flying icons I hope it encourages people from all backgrounds to feel at home flying with us, but also working with us.”

Ok, so to represent modern Britain, what about featuring a barbarian brandishing a knife, a vacuous millenial with a phone glued to his/her/its head, a shrieking blue haired feminista etc…

What this country has only become…….

Nominated by Mystic Maven

49 thoughts on “Virgin Atlantic

  1. A massive pair of bollocks on the tail fin, would be the best expression of what the airline is.
    Branson is a cunt and no mistake.

  2. Let us hope that Nikki Humphrey and his/her/no-gender team of painters doesn’t forget to include the anorexia sufferer in this diverse range of artwork. Why anorexics? Because they are the only people who can fit comfortably into the seats on Virgin’s A350 fleet. It’s not just Virgin and the A350. It’s all airlines that fly this plane and its American competitor the Boeing 787 ‘Dreamlner’. In my experience more like ‘Nightmare Liner’. These aircraft were designed to take a 2-4-2 seat configuration in cattle class i.e 8 seats across the width of the plane. All of them are fitted in a 3-3-3 configuration. Even with my dubious maths skills I can work out that’s 9 seats across. The seats are narrow, cramped, hard and excruciatingly uncomfortable on long-haul flights and you need the ability of a circus contortionist to get out of your seat to use the bathroom, which is slightly larger than a shoe box. If the passenger in front reclines their seat you can enjoy your flight with the headrest jammed against your nose and spilled food and beverage down your front. I’ve flown long haul on both types of aircraft and it is a fucking nightmare, believe me. I suspect that Mr Fiddler will have no sympathy with Sun travel coupon fliers like myself as he fully reclines in First Class whilst delicately sipping his champagne. But it would be very appropriate if the painters adorned the fuselage with flocks of sheep and herds of cattle logos because that is what the airlines think of economy class travelers and that is how they treat them. Fucking greedy, money grabbing cunts. All of them.

    • Why the fuck do they still fit recliners on aircraft. Whoever sits in front of me never gets to use it anyway. If they try it ends in tears. If they’re happy to piss me off then I’m happy to reciprocate. Cunts that recline their seat need a counting all of their own in my opinion.

    • Good Morning, Mr. F.

      Just saw that The Sun are doing a week long stay in a mobile-home at Blackpool for a tenner. I immediately thought of you. Perhaps you can cut the tokens out of the free copy in your local library?

      🙂 .

      • Morning Dick. 😎.

        Are you clairvoyant? I’m sitting here writing a nom on the demise of public libraries. Not joking.

        • Oh no,not clairvoyant…I’m actually the “security guard “peeping over your shoulder to make sure that you’re not “outraging public decency” as you surf the net in the cyber cafe…… I’m watching you.

          🙂 .

    • Am interested in the over-technical, over-complicated use of computers controlling flights. These Boeing ‘Max’ crashes recently. The constant updating (without the pilots being fully trained). Too much information. False information from faulty sensors it will be I bet. If we can add yet another Warning. Americans love technology. But it’s dangerous because you are over complicating things, confusing the pilots. Boeing are very guilty there. Got to say they haven’t acknowledged their responsibility either. No apology. Just grounded. Prefer Airbus. Now that is one area where Europeans do work very well together. Dare I say.

      • You dare. With the 737M Boeing were pretty well left to approve themselves, while oversight at every stage of Airbus design and production would seem to be external to the company. Both the 737M and the A320 series are fly-by-wire, which although more complex leaves less room for pilot error and makes training pilots simpler. As long as automatic overrides can be disabled and the aircraft flown in human mode ( and is inherently stable, not dependent on digital wizardry to keep it in the air at all, like an F-35) I wouldn’t worry about the complexity of existing planes. I would worry though, about the next generation.

        • Boeing the FAA and the Airlines are all complicit in the 737max problem. The 737 series been continously developed over the years, longer bigger wingspan, bigger engines etc but every new model has only been classed as a ” difference” to the previous iteration.
          The previous model the 737-800 is a complex aircraft compared to the earlier models however the 737max has bigger engines still and required a major redesign to give ground clearance. All this caused a huge c of g change and made the aircraft naturally aerodynamically unstable so without computer control the aircraft would be much more difficult to fly and /or recover from certain flight manoeuvres. Pilots have made lots of complaints as to the lack of training.
          Believe it or not the necessary “difference” training could be legally achieved by a one hour ipad session.
          So no wonder the poor fuckers crashed, their training wasn’t up to scratch.
          The Airlines with their cram us in fly us as far as possible for as little fuel as possible policies are the start, and the regulators and manufacturers are backing them up.
          At least Airbus is regulated currently by EASA which our CAA is a main member so hopefully their aircraft whilst not perfect are hopefully intrinsically safe but after brexit EASA lose the high safety standards of the CAA and then money becomes the bottom line.

          • There is this on the CAA website seems appalling to me.
            Maintenance licences issued by the CAA will “no longer be valid in the EASA system after exit day”, says the government. … In a no-deal scenario, EU operators will become foreign carriers under UK legislation, while UK airlines will become third-country operators in the EASA system.

  3. Brexit hating Branson is indeed a cunt!!
    Virgin should have gone the whole hog and painted their entire fleet pink and renamed themselves LGBT airways…..
    This type of bollocks has already been done years ago When British Airways introduced their ethnic “ utopia “ “world image” tailfin bollocks!!

  4. I welcome this lunacy. The more this madness proliferates, the sooner the backlash happens.
    Branson and Virgin are massive Cunts.
    Good cunting.
    Good morning.

  5. They’re just trying to out-do (or out diverse) those other cunts over at British Airways.

    A case of “look at us, we’re more hip, trendy and diverse than you cunts, nah nah nah nah nahhhh”

  6. On the one hand, yes, this is yet another example of modern political correctness.

    On the other hand, when my wife and I flew on Virgin Atlantic for our honeymoon in Antigua, they ungraded us to first class, without being asked. A truly fabulous experience, and a great start to married life.

    It is with some reluctance, therefore, that I cannot support this cunting.

  7. The cabin on the UK bound flights could be strewn with litter so they know what to expect when they arrive in London.

    At least Virgin has been banned from running trains..

      • As something of a connoisseur of rumpty-rumpty in riské venues, I fear I must retroactively apologise if any such smearing was my own handiwork, though I always try to be considerate in this regard.

        Although the facilities on Pendolinos™ are plenty-capacious to avoid impudence, I have frequently found the existing emissions and excretions of previous patrons off-putting, due to their selfishness, and a lack of diligence by the janitorial attendants.

        Lovely morning, RTC!

  8. There must be PR departments all over the country who are sitting around discussing how they can get in on this diversity bollocks. All white, heterosexual, middle class, overpaid pricks.
    All these images of happy, smiling effnick poofs and trannies remind me of those pictures on display in fast food shitholes……great big juicy burgers packed with fresh slices of lettuce and tomato…. but the reality is an anaemic slice of processed shite with a dull, tasteless lettuce leaf in a squashed up bun.
    If you are dumb enough to swallow the PR you will always be disappointed.

  9. Much more appealing to any intending passenger would be the promise that each passenger would be allowed room to swing a cat. They’re all cunts in this respect, or at least all the longhaul ones. Business costs an arm and a leg for generous space, cattle costs far too much for enough space if you’re not into breathing (and I am a skinny cunt) – so if Mr Global Entrepreneur Bastard Branson really gave a fuck he’d do himself a favour by introducing a mid-range seating setup: affordable but adequate.

    Cheaper not to, though: cheaper to have a PC pissing contest with the competition.

    Rapacious and exploitative cunts.

  10. ‘Among the people wearing a red leotard in the updated artwork – to be put on its new A350-1000 fleet – will be a black man and black woman, and a gay man.’

    What does a gay man look like? Surely not a mincing stereotype?

    • Not very diverse.

      Why no gay peacefuls? Gay black men? Disabled black lesbian wimmins? Gender neutral trannies? White useful idiots? Tranny feminazis? Letterboxes?

      • That’s brilliant! Why not show a couple of muslim poofters holding hands and kissing, their beards tantalisingly tickling each other?

        I wonder how long it would take for one of Branson’s planes to be blown out of the sky if he did that!

  11. I hope they dont forget the Aspiring Architects branding a rambo knife but dind do nuffin, portraits of Shammima from Bethnal Green hologramed on the wallpaper and Mohammad walking around with his backpack. Just to feel at home.

  12. I’d like to see a Bullseye target painted on every Virgin plane,train,bus, space-craft or fucking hot-air balloon.There’s always the chance that Branson may be on one of them,and any “collateral damage” caused by a friendly rocket-launch will be a small price to pay if it homes in on that beardy twat.

    Fuck him.

    • You think he flies Virgin? I don’t. I think he flies in his private Dassault Falcon 50, cost ~£4M plus. tail number M-VGAL ( so Manx registered), bought secondhand. Last seen on the 5th, returning from the BVA to Miami.

      Completely irrelevant thought: In Florida, concealed carry is legal. Though they’re a bit iffy about machine guns.

      • Morning K.

        Hadn’t thought of that….wonder if they’ve found the corpse of that pilot who crashed with the footballer on board? He’d make an ideal Capt. for the Branson jet..or perhaps a 95 year old Jap who never got the chance to ride the Divine Wind in 1944.

  13. I’m looking forward to when Brunei airlines, join in this madness.
    There will be the image, of a blood stained bender, with fatal head trauma.
    Just showing how inclusive they are.

    • And a picture of some poor sap who got caught stealing from the duty free cart, merrily holding up his new, blood-dripping stumps.

      Aaaaah Islam. The religion of peace and love. So 21st century.

    • Flying with Royal Brunei is like a crash course in Islam. Flew with them to New Zealand food was lovely, some cracking good looking stewardesses, but before every take off (3 in each direction) there was a Ali baba prayer then the inflight entertainment consisted of a screen showing the direction and distance to mecca and what prayer time it was.
      But best laugh of all was one of the stewards was as gay as Julian Clary.

      • Cunt airline. Once bumped off flight from SIN to BSB because Bruneian VIP decided to travel last minute. His maid got my seat. And they’re dry. Cunts.

  14. Time was (pre-1967) when flying was a relatively glamorous occurrence. Airlines would employ long-legged, firm-arsed model types often with generous if concealed tittage.

    The advent of mass travel on B747s soon ended that. BA were the first to lower the standards. Virgin held out for a while and now, with the notable exception of the Far Eastern airlines, you can be assured that your air-waitress will sport a decent ‘tache, smell of vape and BO, possess stumpy hairy legs/armpits and an arse more worthy of an old sofa. With an attitude to match.

    Welcome to mass air travel. I’d rather walk.

  15. I take back anything and everything derogatory that I’ve had to say about Cunts on Pushbikes…..

    “Benedict Cumberbatch ‘hits cyclist while driving a green Lamborghini before the man gets up and SLAPS the Sherlock star’
    The actor was driving in Freshwater, Isle Of Wight at the time of the alleged crash
    Cumberbatch, 42, allegedly caught the arm of the cyclist and knocked him off
    Moments after the collision the cyclist is said to have got up and slapped him
    Hampshire Police confirmed the incident had been previously reported”

    Just a shame that the cyclist didn’t punch the Cunt senseless.

    Fuck Off.

    • That’s Benedict “I-Stopped-a-Mugging” Hero Cumberbatch, is it?
      And a Lamborghini (Urus) on the Isle of Wight. What a cunt. ” The only dual carriageway is about a quarter of a mile long and it only has a national speed limit for about eight seconds.” as the web “Isle of Wight Guru” has it. The cyclist was local, emphatically non-Lycra, and was presumably minding his own business when assaulted from the security of a 600+ horsepower 4X4 driven by a known cunt. Even I find in favour of the cyclist.

    • What? You can’t mean the hard man Bendydick Cumonmesnatch who fought off 4 muggers in a London street?
      Nah, must be some soft poof with the same name.

  16. To quote…’“By introducing our new flying icons I hope it encourages people from all backgrounds to feel at home flying with us’
    Does that mean then that anybody who wasn’t a Virgin was put off from using them?No of course not, just another load of appeasing bollocks.

  17. How about a big bollock painted on the underside of each wing, one white the other brown. Paint the front third of the aircraft to resemble a knob end, japs eye on nose. Then Branson could spread the message of knob-end throughout the World. He would be a messiah of dickwits. His fleet of flying phallus piercing the air space of all nations now that’s what I call pr.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *