Parking Space Hoggers

Parking Space Hogging CUNTS. Apart from the fucking idiots who crawl up your arse while you’re driving, there is another motoring cunt that gets, kills, guts and barbecues my goat.
Ladies, Gentlemen and fellow cunters, I give you, fucking bastard, selfish cunting, shit-for-brains, CUNTS who park in TWO fucking spaces, right between our houses, so I can’t fucking park.
Now here was me thinking that you have to have reasonable spatial awareness to be allowed a driving licence, BUT NO, these cunts couldn’t fit a Smart Car in a space the length of the M1 without obstructing or inconveniencing someone.

At the moment some unspeakable MORON has stuck his/hers/trans/its VW golf right between the houses and someone else has parked in front, partially over our fucking driveway.
I wouldn’t mind so much, but I put a bloody great sign outside, saying “Please Park in ONE Space”. The Golf Cunt is either blind and shouldn’t be on the fucking road, or, as I suspect, just a SELFISH CUNT with a bloated sense of entitlement.
If I had my way, his car would be wrapped in cling-film with a fucking great sign on top “Driven by a SELFISH CUNT” superglued to the roof and a nice ripe dog-turd, stuffed into the heater vents.
I’ve had to park down the road, making it a right royal pain in the arse to unload and load my gear for work.
I have now stuck a sign on his/hers/trans/its windscreen, politely pointing out my displeasure and also put an even BIGGER sign outside, in the form of an EYECHART on the very reasonable assumption that if the CUNT does this again, he’s fucking blind and the DVLA will be informed. Selfish, obnoxious, pathetic cuntingly-cunting, CUNT.

Nominated by Sheikh Anvakh (Imam of all Cunts)

30 thoughts on “Parking Space Hoggers

  1. This is just one example of the modern world, there is no thought for other people, selfish is the new norm.

    This ‘guy’ parking across two spaces, it probably doesnt even enter his mind that he is doing anything wrong.

    My local coop has a small carpark (12 spaces) and a side road with double yellow lines, and two huge signs ‘Parking on the double yellow lines is stricktly prohibited’ in bold red letters…… does it make any difference, not a chance …..

  2. TBH
    Looking at that picture im trying to decide who’s the bigger cunt ? Sure the 4×4 is over the line but who the fuck drives a car like the one on the left?
    Fucking noddy? Mr magoo? And it’s sporting a bumper sticker!! “ toot if you think I’m a cunt” (joking)
    Seriously these cunts are the Bane of thoughtful drivers lives, worse still with our roads bulging like Bernard mannings waistband it’s hardly surprising that your coming across this type of cuntery more often, smaller car parking spaces, more cars, more cunts who can’t park and just plain thoughtless cunts that simply don’t fucking care!!
    I’m afraid this parking phenomenon ain’t gonna get any better…..😡

    • FTM….
      our local Tesco express has 5 bays across the front, last year some fucktard parked sideways across 3 bays in her BMW X5 !! She copped a proper volley off 2 angry motorists waiting to park! the cunt tried to argue “ I was only 2 minutes “ Completely missing the point about how utterly thoughtless she had been! The Cunt……..

        • And a female of the species to boot (and I bet she was an ugly boot, an’ all…).

          Most cars look abandonded, rather than parked (the latter implying some sort of effort and ability).

          • Talking about abandoned cars…
            City Rd, Cardiff, this afternnoon.
            A fuck-off great chelsea chariot sitting in the road, next to double yellow lines, about 5 yards back from a corner.
            Holding everybody up, getting honked at by everybody, ignoring everybody…
            Walking past, I turned round to have a peek.
            And what did I see ?
            Da fat blonde wimmin in the “driving” seat, with, I guess, a kid of 1-ry school age in passenger seat.
            Stupid bitch engrossed in her feckin phone.
            Somebody mentioned “massive sense of self-entitlement”; I’m wondering if this one was just an overgrown amoeba.

      • This happens all too often at a local mini market.. They went to the trouble to paint diagonal lines to fit cars in.. But the ignorant cunts just sling their piles of tin where ever the fuck they choose…

      • One night years ago, I returned to a railway car park by train to find a BMW x5 parked microns from my own car. No chance that the cunt got out without touching my paintwork. I moved my car then, in this unlit rural car park, gave his door panels a good kicking.

  3. Another condign cunting, Excellency, which will doubtless enkindle much approbation.
    Can I suggest as retribution for the more refractory and persistent miscreants the addition of a sugar/petrol syrup to the fuel tank?
    Unlike those less subtle approaches involving cyanoacrylate esters, dichloromethane, or indeed Nitromors™, this approach is unlikely to implicate yourself, and is ultimately more devastating to the vehicle.
    Easier to use a drill, thin tubing and pump arrangement than to pick the lock.

    • Alternatively, installation of a locking bollard from Toolstation® would avoid prosecution under the 1971 Act, and might be worth a try.

      • With some contrition, and to whomsoever was wondering…
        1971 was a busy time in Parliament. I’m not referring to the Immigration or Misuse of Drugs Acts, but the Criminal Damage Act.

        Fuck it.

    • Exactly. The transport problems in this country stem from overpopulation. Too many fucking cunts in this country who shouldn’t fucking be here in the first place.
      As others have said , that’s not going to improve any time soon.

      • Re Ms Begum. Just been reading immigration stats 2018. Over 370, 000 net immigration to the UK. The vast majority from Asian countries. What the the fuck does it really matter if there’s another one.

      • Overpopulation isn’t a problem in the Highlands, Freddie. But we still get cuntish parking up here.

  4. Double yellow or double red lines, means nothing to some entitled cunts.

    If traffic wardens take them to task they get a volley of abuse along with the usual “I was only 5 minutes! ” bollocks.

    But then again you do get lots of tight-fisted cunts who won’t spend a couple of quid parking in a controlled carpark, but would rather park on a double yellow and take a chance at not getting nicked!

    • “I was only 5 minutes” “I didn’t mean to leave my dog in a fucking sauna hot car for 4 hours cause I’m a cruel dumb cunt” heard it all from these thick cunts hate when they leave their kids and pets cause it could be fatal always hear yhese cases on the news. Then its hearing their pathetic excuses when they double park

      I was training to be a parking officer for almost a month so i got to see a few tense interactions with these cunts too stressful of a job shouldn’t of wasted my time honestly

  5. Yep, saw a big ugly Navarro parked across two bays at the services at Fontwell yesterday. The old woman passenger looked sheepish as i glared through the windscreen.

  6. The recent years’ explosion in numbers of “GetOutOfMyWay” SUVs / Chelsea Tractors/ Builders Pickup trucks used to transport little Millie 100 yds to the shops are the main problem.

    I’m all for scrapping those crappy Nissan Micra / Ford Ka shite powered by sewing machine engines too. And every sports car inevitably driven with the top down and a car-wanker in a cap and sunglasses

    • Nothing wrong with a Micra. I had a 1l along with a Vauxhall Omega 2.5l V6 24v Auto CDX Estate. Both were great cars. I always used the Micra in snow, it’d always get me where I was going where the wide tyres on the Omega failed me badly, even though it had traction/snow/ice control

  7. The parking cunts trick of choice in my neck of the woods includes double parking… Narrow roads with limited parking space?? Fuck that I’ll park opposite this car here.. Making it nigh on impossible for any cunt to get passed.
    And during school drop off/ pick up times do not go anywhere near..

  8. I had issues with some car share cunt who would park diagonally across the two bays outside my current dwelling, it became a little regular that a fucked up honda civic would appear for a day or two blocking the parking.
    well one fine evening returning from a dog walk after a good few beers with a handy bag of dog shit, I could help myself no more.
    I squished the dog shit nicely up under the drivers handle and went to my bed smiling, I think they may have picked their car up at about 11 pm because the scream woke me, never seen them since.

  9. Parking spaces have remained the same size over the last 20 years but unfortunately cars have not. MILF’s in SUV’s now dominate supermarket car parks with their cunty parking. When I was younger, a Ford Cortina was perfectly adequate as a family car but now every cunt with 2.4 kids feels the need to buy a fucking Nissan Quashqai.

    • There’s a new breed on the block, sadly…
      MIWFs – munters I wouldn’t fuck…

  10. I’ve seen a black Range Rover Sport parked diagonally across three disabled spaces in a supermarket car park.
    Prizewinning level of cuntitude…

  11. Aside from the usual bunch of selfish fuckwits who park so close to your drivers door that you have to climb through your hatchback and over your rear seats like Harry Houdini, I noticed a much worse parking fad taking hold recently.
    At our local Aldi, those unable (or too lazy) to find a genuine parking space, simply abandon their cars on the end of a row of parking spaces (though not actually in a space), where room has been left for drivers to turn the bend, into the next row of parking spaces. This results in (usually elderly) drivers performing 7 point turns to get past these self-important fuckwits, and ultimately out of the car park.
    If I could marshall enough outraged souls together, I’d turn the fuckers cars over on their roofs and leave it in a proper parking bay (they’d get clamped and fined after staying longer than 90 minutes).
    Utter selfish cunts.

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