Tourist Tax

Tourist Tax
It’s a dreary time of year, so the wife and I have been thinking about booking a Spring break in Majorca to lift our spirits and give us something to look forward to. We love Spain, but it’s not a ‘budget’ option these days. I was therefore truly pissed to find out that the cunts have a ‘levy’ (that’s a tax to you and me) that now stands at 4 Euros per person per night on the holiday. The Balearic Government states that the tax is ‘absolutely necessary’ to protect Majorca’s natural beauty and improve infrastructure.

Let me get this straight. For decades the Spanish Government has assiduously sought to built up its tourist industry, relying on it heavily to attract massive investment into its economy and provide employment for its people. Visitors in their millions have spent God alone knows how much in that time. But suddenly it’s about ‘sustainability’, although I wish they’d explain to me just how this tax is actually going to be utilised to  ‘preserve’  Majorca’s beauty. And maybe they should have thought about ‘infrastructure’ issues when they were hell bent on creating their tourism behemoth to begin with.

It’s the same here. In Edinburgh, the City Council is whinging on about the ‘impact’ of tourism, and is talking about imposing a tax. Here’s a thought fuckwits; if you’re that worried, why are you persistently allowing more and yet more hotels to spring up like fucking mushrooms in Auld Reekie?

Ah. Perhaps Spain (and oh yes, Greece, Italy, Portugal et al) have simply cottoned on to the fact that surcharging the very visitors that have provided lifeblood for so long is a neat little way to ratchet even more dough out of them. That’s it, bite the hand that feeds you. It’s a sweet as a nut little tickle, you cunts.


Nominated by Ron Knee

54 thoughts on “Tourist Tax

  1. Right on. Am currently in South Africa having a brilliant time but get hacked off at having to pay two or three times as much as locals to visit certain places. Same happened in Sri Lanka. Killing the goose that laid the golden egg springs to mind.

    • It’s the cant that pisses me off as much as anything, Mr P. The City of Edinburgh Council whinges on about the ‘impact of tourist footfall’ on that grand city, and looks set to impose a tax, but all you can see getting built there these days are fucking hotels. Auld Reekie’s going to go the way of a few other places if they ain’t careful, but the council will coin the tax in anyway. Cunts.

    • tourist tax, pah! back in the day (pull up a sandbag) I was the only Englez in an area, I have/ had a name and a chap turned up and asked to speak to the Englez, (again I have a name) so I told him that “Englez” was out could I help him?,
      Well Twat told me he had bought x for Y and was going to try to sell it to “Englez” for Z.
      Twat didn’t quite understand that “Englez” was often mistaken for someone from another area of the country (due to accent) and was familiar with the pull your pants down mentality.

  2. We get ripped off in the UK, going on holiday is a fucking joke, airport taxes, extra charges tomtaketo take a fucking bag on the plane and tourist taxes.

    Cunts should just charge the businesses more tax and let the marked decide the room rates, its called competition!

    Its time the UK started charging non UK citizens to enter our national museums and galleries.

    Fuck, we give everything for free but when we go abroad we just get ripped off.

    • Charged £3.50 at Stansted last week for simply dropping a family member off in front of the airport. Must have been there all of a minute and I did not even get out of the car.

      Theiving cunts.

  3. Fuck the robbing cunts. Stay in UK. 1989 was the last time we ventured from these hallowed shores.

    • We’re going to do just that, Mince. Were going to Spain, now we’re going to Somerset instead. Might help a bit post Brexit as well if more spend their dosh at home.

        • We did that this year, fucked spain off and went to Edinburgh.
          Although from what I have just learned about Edinburgh, I’m not sure we were helping anyone.

          I remember some years ago, the canarian powers that be, started charging 5 or 6 euros per head just to enter the country. They soon changed their tune when Ryan air told them to fuck off.
          Practically killed the islands.

        • I remember being all set to fly back from Thailand only to be told I had to shell out another £6 in ‘airport tax’.
          There are unscrupulous thieving bastards everywhere.

  4. The Spanish economy is notoriously fucked and has been for ages, Ron.

    This is just a way for them to try to cash in on what they know is their primary income….tourism. Cynical, greedy fuckers who are biting the hand that feeds them, like we are a plate of fucking tapas or something.

    I have visited Gran Canaria for over 20 years now, twice a year (friends there) Since the Euro came in it has become increasingly more expensive, yet to the most part the accommodations remain basic, the food and entertainment remain distinctly average and the drinks are consistently watered down, whilst making you think they are ‘happy time’ generous by filling your glass 3/4 full of booze. They have become so confident in the nice little goose that laid the golden egg that they have in mass tourism that they are now shooting themselves in the foot by ripping holidaymakers with some weasel words excuse.


    All they will accomplish if they ramp this kind of shit up is make people want to take their holidays elsewhere, where they do not have to pay some bloody surcharge just to go on holiday to that place.


    • You’re right about the Spanish economy, Nurse. This tax is just a cynical way of exploiting the people who are more than happy to spend their cash by going there and helping to prop it up. it’s the straw that broke the camel’s back for us. We’re staying home this year.

      • I don’t blame you, Ron. It is pure greed on their part and tourists are an easy target for them.

        I would normally go in March, but not this year. Funds won’t allow and my credit card is begging for mercy after Xmas expenses…..

        Home it is for me too.

  5. I’d actually like to see all holiday makers forced to pay a levy in this country too. I get no benefit from the hikers,cyclists,caravanners etc. who seem to think that the best place to dump their litter is in a National Park. I really can’t understand why you’d decide to go to a relatively “unspoiled” area and just leave your empty pop-cans and food wrappers scattered all over. Why should my tax be used to clean up the picnic-sites and laybys where caravanners who are too tight to pay for a proper site,set up camp?
    I’d also make motorcyclists pay a levy. Every fucking weekend in the summer the air-ambulance has to come out to scrape another one up off the road. The air-ambulance is funded by donations,and I often wonder how many of these bikers ever contribute a penny. A levy could be used to pay for the service….impossible to enforce, I know,but still a nice thought.

    No,sorry Ron, but if people can afford to go on holiday,they can afford to pay a levy to cover the damage that some of them cause. It is only 4 Euros a night, what’s that?…one beer?

    • Having lived in a National Park (used to be illicit sex before bicycles)
      I understand and feel your pain.

    • “I’d also make motorcyclists pay a levy. Every fucking weekend in the summer the air-ambulance has to come out to scrape another one up off the road.”

      Absolutely correct, Dick – The “Pass” upon which I reside is blocked on an all-too-regular basis by some fuckwitted motorcyclist (who’s invariably old enough to know better), smearing his entrails across the tarmac and thus impeding my journey home. Throughout the Summer months.

      Funniest one I saw was a couple, sans motorbike, yet still sat clutching each other, having failed to make the bend at speed, embedded in a 5-bar gate, just moments from my front door.

      • I hate litterers Dick, I’m a lazy cunt degenerate cunt sure but even i can put trash in the bin these cunts littering should get gulaged or at least heavily fined

      • These motorcyclists are a bane to the highways in the summer months Seymour.
        Where you live seems to be an accident hotspot. And as you say, every year you seem to Seymour entrails.
        Oh dear, how sad , never mind

    • It seems visitors to National Parks are all the same, Dick. The cunts that drop litter in mine have to drive a bit further north.

    • I often wonder how many of these bikers ever contribute a penny

      One does, Mr. Fiddler. But not as much or as often as he should, admittedly: thanks for the reminder.

      Part of your problem here is that the cunts you see on country roads during the nice weather are weekend bikers only. Or boy racers – the brand-new 600 sports is the giveaway here. And they don’t know the roads. My solution would be to introduce a compulsory levy on the insurance companies to support the AA – getting the cash off a dead biker might be problematic, and round my way our most of the suicidal petrolheads are in cars anyway.

  6. The real villain is the combination of an uncompetitive exchange rate, the Internet and budget airlines. Nowadays just about wherever you go, here or abroad, there are fucking tourists everywhere-especially every school holiday including February half term when it used to be six weeks in summer only.

    I have massive sympathy for over-run indigenous residents of Venice and Barcelona but charging a few Euros a night won’t solve the problem; it’s just another stealth tax.

    I console myself that the more cunts visit London; the more likely they are to give the rest of us some peace.

    Enjoy Somerset Ron. A much under-rated county where I used to visit. Thankfully most cunts are helter-skelter on the M5 heading to Devon and Cornwall. Exmoor in particular is stunning as are areas in the Quantocks and Mendips.And the Levels around Sedgemoor have a unique beauty all of their own.

    • Indeed it is under-rated, Isaac. Spent many happy hols there as a kid, around the Minehead/Porlock/Dunster area. An easy run down from Brum. Strangely I never visited Bath, an omission we intend to put right this time.

      • Minehead, Exmoor, that whole area is beautiful. Can still fondly remember early childhood holidays around there in the summer months.

        We frequently went to Watersmeet near Lynmouth. The fresh smell of ancient woodland, icy streams, the quiet. Fuck Spain and the dross holes, we have greatness right here. Thankfully the masses stay in Londoninstan with the bright light wankery.

      • Bath is a lovely city but, like Oxford is overrun with tourists.

        Get there as early as possible, and before the DFLs (dahn from lundons) arrive by the first off peak train of the day.

        Weekends forget it, esp. if Bath Rugby are playing at home and ur into countless stag n hen do’s

  7. Although many of us can afford it, there is a principle here. Why should we pay extra for providing our custom?

    If they aren’t careful, Tourism will collapse in these places, because there are always alternatives resulting in the end of what is their golden egg.

    It’s a bit like when I tried to send the mother in law on a cruise from a local point of departure, only to find that the Yanks had removed them from Greenham Common.


    • Exactly.
      They want our custom to sustain their economy.
      We go and spend loadsa money.
      They moan that taking our custom there is detrimental .
      They tax us for going there and spending our money.
      Fuck off.

  8. Go to the Highlands of Scotland this year. Take your Jack Russell. Take your fly rod. Walk. Ignore the midges. This country has the most fabulous scenery which a disproportionately huge number of Britons are sadly unaware of.

      • Evening Ron. If you’re around Dumfries, with a fly rod in hand – head up to Loch Skeen, above the Grey Mare’s Tail waterfall out of Moffat. Bugger of a climb but well worth it. The fishing’s free and you may well shit yourself as the RAF jets fly down the valley BELOW you !

        • Thanks Seymour, noted. Those flyboys have had me skidmarking my kecks a few times when in the area!

  9. I’m so glad travel is behind me. Spent 20 years as troubleshooting to financial director and did quite a bit of travel. I fucking loved it but now retired in Sandown where the pace of life is actually negative, and every evening I travel to the conservatory for 3 hours of music and brandy.

    Did spend a few drunk holidays in Spain with my friends but it seems that Spain has sadly departed.

    • I see that it’s a case of another day, another mortal stabbing in our glorious national capital. Those craving a bit of excitement on hol could do worse. Anyone know of a decent hotel down Dulwich way?

  10. I do remember one trip to Madrid in the early 80s. It was regarding the corporation tax that was due of a company there. Unlike the UK where it’s x% of y, the Spanish system was that you negotiated it!! Incredible, so you spend all day talking, agree a figure then all go out and get smashed. That was a great gig.

  11. We truly live in a clown world cunters just finished reading about some unfortunate poor cunt in america called Jazz who cut off its cock with his parents encouragement FFS they had a farewell penis party this is absolutely sick

    • With the added news that May’s bareback brexit plan failed and Trump possibly getting us into a nuclear war with russia because something something venezuela I’d say today is a good day to drink lining up a few drinks as we speak cheers cunters Oh and a another terrorist attack in kashmir with 40 dead well now it is truly a special occasion

  12. Fuckin stupid foreign cunts….
    If you owned a shop you wouldn’t charge your customers to enter. Surely it’s best to let them in for free and then charge the shit out of them once it’s too late for them to leave.

  13. Of note I’m not celebrating the kashmir attack on the poor hindu cunts was merely stating it is peacefuls business as usual carried out by jihad group Jasihe taliban related i guess
    btw did you know drinking alcohol is good for you? it increase blood flow and happy times it creates releases stress, stress ages you horribly if you let if fuck you too badly if not careful mind you alcohol fucks your liver up badly so theres that to look out for

  14. Watching Qt is making my pics boil.Of course that pregnant ISIS.The evil psychopathic bitch joined fucking ISIS!Let the bitch die!

    I am genuinely at a loss for words.Help me out cunters?

  15. The thing that fucking pisses me offish leotards were saying in 2015 “We must let all these refugees in they are fleeing ISIS” and now 4 years later are saying “Let’s let ISIS in”. That is fucking insane. that makes no sense whatsoever!!!!!

        • We could have a actual solution to this problem I’ve just grown tired of cuckservtives they don’t conserve nothing but liberals are too burnt I’ve come full circle now i’m a libertarian nihilist now Your right tho this cunt on qt is exceptional haha

  16. It’s got to be better than a holiday in Tunisia though. Those fuckers really do bleed you dry.

  17. Insanely giant Airbus bites the dust.

    And, oddly, I didn’t hear anybody blaming the usual…

    Largely due to the Saudis cancelling an order for 39 of the things, and a commentator saying Airbus needed to sell 65 of the things a year.

    A pity, really… How many useless, obnoxious cunts could one shove on one of those things, before blasting it out of the skies forever ?

  18. Edinburgh wouldn’t need a tourist tax if it hit the AirBnB operators with licensing requirements. Or if it hadn’t fucked up its daft tram project completely (public transport in Embra used to be rather good) Or…
    (we’re thinking corrupt council here)

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