Recommended Daily Amounts

‘Eating more than the recommended amount of sugar’
Seriously, I’m sick of hearing this phrase. You know why we’re eating more than the RDA? Because the RDA is now an absurdly low 30 grams – LESS THAN THE FUCKING WW2 RATION! So fuck off you health Nazi, busybody cunts.

Nominated by OpinionatedCunt

47 thoughts on “Recommended Daily Amounts

  1. Don’t need to worry about that, when Brexit comes we’ll all be fucking starving anyway. Sugar? We won’t know what it is.
    I know this because every day on the telly and radio a load of rich cunts keep telling me.
    Yes, for the first time in history the rich cunts are crying and weeping about us poor cunts.
    I can’t tell you how grateful I am for their care and concern. If we end up eating each other it will be our own fault and we can’t say we weren’t told. Oh no!

    • silver spoon sugar is UK beet sugar, so we should be fine on that, the rest is sugar cane which strangely enough doesn’t grow in the EU

      • I think there could be issues of crossing the A1 George. Barnier said so in a recent speech , and I quote ” dim cunts in Nooerk wid shoogar will be stopid at A1!” ( true verbatim report )

  2. Just another example of our “betters” wanting to interfere in the very minutiae of our lives. A collection of,I suspect,inadequates who were bullied at school,they graduate to becoming traffic-wardens or “advisers”. Small petty busybodies who believe that the vast majority of people are incapable of acting with self-restraint unless hectored by their more worthy “betters”. Most people already know that shovelling too much shit down one’s maw isn’t a good idea,and those that don’t aren’t going to listen to “advice” anyhow,but that doesn’t stop the “Nanny Knows Best” brigade….drinking,eating,exercise, etc, it’s all in their remit. They’ll be telling us the best way to wipe our arses before much longer.

    I eat whatever I want,drink,smoke and shit on such advice. Never a day’s illness. Anyhow,the way that the country is heading, I’d as soon croak early smoking a cigarette and drinking Bushmills after finishing off a whole roast suckling-pig followed by a treacle pudding than listen to some “we know what’s best for you” Wanker bang on about what is the Recommended Daily Allowance.

    Fuck them.

    • I trust the stocks at Fiddler Towers are in good heath? Plenty of Bushmills, Fray Bentos meat pies and puddings for when the so-called ‘Brexit Armeggedon’ bites. The lunches and expenses jollies of fine wines and slap up dinners enjoyed by MP’s, House of Lords and civil service mandarins will strangely be unaffected I predict.
      Morning Fiddler.

      • Morning, LL
        They’ll certainly feel the rough edge of my tongue if the Bushmills and Fray Bentos runs short…although,tbf, it’ll probably take a while until my personal stockpile runs dry.

        “Be Prepared”…that’s my motto.

      • I’ll tell you this for fuck all, Fray Bentos are nothing like they used to be. I bow to no man in my admiration for a lovely steak and kidney pudding but the last couple of times I’ve had FB, they’ve been full of just gravy and gristle. And they’re definitely smaller than they used to be.

        Morning, gents.

      • Aye,they’re not what they were, I’ll give you that. Must admit that I tend to have two at a time,eat the pastry and gravy that I love,and give the dogs the “meat” ( I’m pretty sure that it’s the same stuff as is used in tinned dogfood,anyhow)

      • For a moment then I thought you meant the “other” stocks at fiddler towers. I’m sure Mr fiddler keeps those well maintained and at the ready for unwelcome guests such as charity callers and political party canvassers.

      • Yes, a reliable t’internet connection for ISAC and other ‘needs’ is vital. The Viet Cong style booby traps of punji sticks and snake pits must be maintained for unwanted visitors at the Towers.

    • Following on from Andrexgate. I believe the more hygienic way is from the bottom to the top. Others may disagree. Then wash your hand of course.

    • Common sense would say it’s all bollocks anyway. I’m a fat cunt at 19st, how can the RDA be the same for me and some 8st woman?

  3. Why don’t they just put Private Fraser on a loop each day crying ‘were all doomed, doomed i tell yae’!
    Re the previous nom, i would like to second Rebels nomination for Nurse Cunty to be leader of the new common sense party.
    And may i humbly suggest that her first policy would be to make it legal to throw rotten eggs/tomatoes at anyone who is a known cunt with a view to making it compulsary after an initial implementation period of say 2 years. This could be perhaps increased to dog shit throwing at the very biggest cunts.

  4. A few years ago I have to admit I was listening to the Jeremy Vine show.

    It was the day when the Governments committee launched their advice on the number of ‘safe’ units of alcohol to be consumed weekly.

    I think the limit had been reduced from 21 to 14 but could be wrong.

    Anyway, Vine who’s a proper Al-Beeb classic cunt was debating the Governments Head of
    Public Health and it was revealed that the committee that makes the recommendation had 5 members, 2 of them were members of the Temperance Society and I think another 2 were tee total.

    Even Wine found it outrageous that a committee advising on safe units of alcohol was staffed with such a bias.

    But as ever the bastard chattering classes know best and I’d bet my mortgage all 5 of the cunts read the Graun

    • They’ve since said that any alcohol at all is bad for your health, so that’s another warning that I’ll take no fucking notice of. I eat/drink what I want nowadays, price permitting, so fuck ’em.

  5. Oh, it was “sugar” they were talking about.

    Ahhh, that makes sense now because I didn’t know what “Thugga” was after being repeatedly mentioned negatively by the fat-tongued cunt Jamie Oliver. “Thee amarnt of thugga in theereal is inkwedabull!”

    That cunt should concentrate on getting his kids karate or boxing lessons. With names like what they’re got they’re going to need them!

    It won’t be “Thugga” that causes that poor bunch of cunts to lose their teeth that’s for sure!

    • I wouldn’t mind but the drooling soggy lipped same-head is hardly a Slim Jim himself. Wants to buy his self a fucking mirror (and a bib) before he starts dictating to the rest of us. Cunt.

    • How much must you hate your son to call him Buddy Bear? I mean Bear Grylls is bad enough, sounds like something I would put on my shopping list along with chips and beans, but Buddy fucking Bear???

  6. I regularly exceed my recommended daily amount of cuntitude….
    Blood pressure’s a little higher but I’m fighting on.

  7. just a spoonful of thugga makes the medicine go down…

    thugga and spice and all things nice…

    thugga oh thugga thugga you are my candy girl…

  8. I have a recommended daily allowance of ‘niceness’

    It’s 1g

    Now fuck off. You cunts.

  9. Megan Markle can stick those “inspirational” bananas up her well-worn Cunt.
    Fucking stupid tart…..but yet still strangely preferable to that entitled dolt that she conned into marrying her.

    Fuck them.

    • Morning Mr F and cunts in general.
      Whatever you may think of Jeremy Clarkson, you’d have to chuckle at his response to Will Young’s cissy faggetry.
      He said in the Sun that he wasn’t homophobic as he “very much enjoyed watching lesbians on the internet”.
      Ho ho, an excellent response to that knob jockey; I hope he has a rage-induced meltdown.

      • As well as a banana the whores get a bag of walkers crisps and a fruit shoot. Throw in some dairylea dunkers and you have a 6 year old’s packed lunch. Maybe if the sex workers didn’t spend all their blowjob earnings on heroin they could buy themselves a nice Belgian bun.

  10. Health Nazi busybody cunt has become a new career for the box tickers who have a degree in reading big books with no pictures obtained from the university of Lancaster. I had to have an operation couple of years ago. Before being allowed o use the NHS (45 years NI contributions) I was interrogated at my GP surgery by some young fuckwit. Do you smoke? Yes. How many a day? None of your business and I wouldn’t tell you the truth in any case. Well we can’t operate then. We? Who is we.? The GP won’t recommend surgery. How do you know? People who smoke can’t have surgery. OK is that based on clinical evidence of poor outcomes or are you just discriminating against smokers? (Mouth open – blank stare). Step on the scales. 95 kilos. You’re obese. No I’m not. I’ve been 95 kilos for years. You can see I’m tall and muscular.My height/weight chart says you’re obese. Your chart is a guide based on averages. It’s not supposed to be a substitute for simple observation and commonsense. (Mouth open – blank stare). At this point I had exceeded my recommended daily amount of box-ticking moron. I marched in to the GP who had made the referral. He finally admitted that it was all about not spending money and smoking and obesity, being common, were easy targets for the bean counters. Same with sugar I guess. The health Nazi busybodies don’t give a shit about your health. It’s just another non-job for thick millennial cunts. Of course the busybody at the GP was an obese cunt in her mid-twenties with a spotty face that deserved a paper bag. Oops, exceed the RDA of cunting on ISAC.

    • Are there any lower-rung NHS workers who aren’t obese nowadays? I see a lot of enormous young nurses, pharmacy dispensers and secretaries in two of my local hospitals over the past decade. The reception at my local GP surgery is staffed by a couple of fatties as well.

      Time for our dear NHS to aim advice closer to home.

  11. I have a pretty clean diet. Lot’s of chicken, steak and fish though. But what fucking use is it when I exceed my RDA of bullshit before 11am every single day? Some dozy cunts on the road, in the shops, at the office.. you can’t avoid it.

    Forget air quality or teaspoons of sugar. Bullshit will kill you the fastest. It also leads to early chronic cynical arsehole syndrome, or rapid onset of catastrophic levels of cuntitude.

  12. My girlfriend has just fucking cracked me up and it’s timely with this cunting.

    I was just ranting about Dawn Butler and her stab proof knives and she said ‘have you finished’.

    Then she said ‘right from now on I’m going to put you on 5 a day’.

    5 rants a day! Thank fuck for ISAC.

  13. Morning all

    Recommended IAC levels are no more than 4 cuntings a day. Any more and you’re likely to have a fit of the vapours.

    • I suspect that if Miles,Opinionated Cunt and myself put our heads together we could get that “Blast-Off” figure down considerably.

      🙂 .

  14. What’s the RDA for Vindaloo-related shits, or bleeding of the arse?
    What’s the RDA for BBC doom-mongering?
    What’s the RDA for watching videos of pasty-faced ginger and blue-haired millennial transqueers having meltdowns on social media?

    I think we should be told

  15. I live in the suburbs and there’s certainly enough in the way of takeaways around here but for me they are mostly irrelevant since I can’t afford them. The sort of people that say they can’t afford to eat healthily simply tells me they’e either lazy cunts, can’t cook or don’t want to as there’s no way the pair of us could afford to live on fast food. I cook from fresh almost everyday and a takeaway is a special treat about every 3 or 4 months.

    • Yep, I’ve never understood how people can afford to live on takeaways. I watched some programme a while ago about fat fuckers on benefits,and couldn’t work out how they could find the money for all the curries and pizzas that they ordered.
      I rarely have takeaways, mainly because I live in too remote an area but also because I’d begrudge paying so much for it.

  16. All this RDA bollocks is a bag of cunt. “You must eat the recommended amount of this, that and the other”. What a load of shit. Everyone on the planet has an expiry date programmed into them from birth. Look at the people who smoked and had a shot of whisky everyday and still lived to a ripe old age. It’s genetics. It doesn’t matter one cherry dusted fuck what diets people follow…we all end up wearing the wooden coat regardless.

    As for this “five a day” wanking parade…why five a day? Why not four or six or two? Another marketing gimmick, thought-up by some circlejerking life-coach think-tank no doubt.

    Did the number five just fly out of someone’s arse? Look at vegans and these hipster “holistic” lifestyle devotees…the majority of them look like death warmed up and have more lines on their face than what’s on Charlie Sheen’s coffee table. Load of sheeple-herding wankage of the prime order. Bullshit on that. They don’t need organic vegan overpriced placebo wank…they need a fucking good steak.

    • Five a day was invented by the California fruit growers association in the 1930s. Fact. There is no study anywhere to show five a day is better then one a day, or indeed two a week.

  17. After having weekly rants at the local branch of Barclays because of the shit service they provide, I have now decided to consolidate all my rants into one monthly outburst….

  18. When they first came up with sugar-free drinks they tasted fucking horrible. Now you can’t tell the difference. When I was diagnosed diabetic I hunted around for acceptable alternatives and the only problem I had was with sugar-free jelly which was crap. Now they’ve solved that problem too. So I don’t understand why food and drink manufacturers need to use sugar at all, unless of course it happens to be cheaper.

      • Don’t know, haven’t eaten chocolate in years, and I used to love it. I ate diabetic ice cream until recently until I realised it was responsible for my constipation. Everything’s back to normal now.

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