The Unwashed

The Unwashed
People who don’t wash deserve a nomination to ISAC.
All homes have a bathroom so there is no excuse. An elderly woman and her obese daughter were seen and smelt (from a long distance) in Tesco this morning. They didn’t just hum, they sang out loud. You could’ve cut through their long lingering reek with a knife. They both need to be fumigated. Dirty cunts.


Nominated by Mystic Maven

31 thoughts on “The Unwashed

  1. Shamefully I used to be one of those people when I was a child because I found it hard crafting a set morning routine. Eventually the school helped me with that and I’ve showered regularly since.

  2. There’s some oldish (about 60s) guy in my town who goes to the same church as my parents who constantly stinks of piss. Kinda feel sorry for him really – I think he doesn’t know how to look after himself because of his special needs.

  3. Reminds me of those funky Walmart YouTube vids, where trailer trash slobs and chavs hang out looking like extras from the Evil Dead, and probably smelling a whole lot worse!

  4. This post is Australianist.

    I like the workshy bastards but those Convicts will do anything to avoid showering. It’s as if they’re allergic to soap! Fuck me if they’re not cheating at cricket they’re dodging the washing. Smelly cunts.

    • Now if that ain’t the pot calling the kettle black. And yes I am ashamed about cheating at cricket, ashamed we were caught and the teary snowflake press conference after.

      • Yeah the great unwashed are from everywhere, it’s a truly international movement, unfortunately.
        You’re right about the cheating tho, and the ‘we’re really really sorry….that we got caught’ crocodile tears. Their actions sadly brought shame upon a great sporting nation.

      • Fuck, that press conference was appalling. Far better if they’d just held their hands up and said “Fuck it,caught bang to rights.” It’s not like they’re the first side to employ the “dark arts”.
        The macho Aussie reputation certainly took a hammering when those soft Cunts started crying like little bitches.

    • The French are worse. Where do you hide your money in Paris?
      Under the soap.
      By the way, have never found Aussies dirty. Cheating, wingeing, unsporting. But not smelly.

    • They’ve just been dicked at home by India but I’m not getting carried away. The mystifying thing is how powder puff the bowlers have been these last 6 weeks which surely adds further suspicion that they cheated in the last Ashes.

      This summer will be decided by the respective top orders and I reckon the returning Warner, Renshaw and Smith are better than our hapless top three. I can easily see them winning for the first time since 2001.

      And Warner deserves a cunting all of his own

      • Warner is possibly the biggest cunt Aus have ever produced and that’s fucking saying something. His fucking wife is another horrible cunt i fucking loathe the pair of the shit cunts

  5. Wayne and Waynetta comes to mind …….

    I used to work at a place where there was one guy who was fucking ripe, so bad it could make you physically sick.

    One thing though, no one ever invaded his personal space!

    • The problem is so many “celebs” on TV look dirty, I suppose their admirers try to emulate them. Same with politicians – that fat old slag who complained about having to buy jamrags, for example or that vile Jess Phillips creature – I bet they smell worse than a Japanese wrestlers jockstrap, and that llitle EU cocksucker John Bercow looks like he stinks of piss ad stale shit.

      • Thats right, there is another labour MP, cant remember her name, hair by garden shears, looks like she sleeps rought, unbelievable.
        I cant undersand why these MPs, particularly the women, dont have any pride in their appearance.

        Iknow they cant do anything about their looks but they can make an effort with clothing and style.

        • Might be that frightful Emma Dent-Coad woman. She looks like a 1920s Bloomsbury harridan

  6. Having worked with live-stock for a few years,I must admit that smells don’t really bother me much. Indeed, I’m aware that I’m sometimes rather ripe myself…couldn’t give a Fuck,there’s only me and the dogs most of the time,and they’ve never complained. What I tend to find is that the people who go out unwashed or with dirty clothes tend to be fat and lazy people..single mothers,dole scroungers etc. They are lazy in life as well as lazy in personal habits. An exception are The Chinks who are industrious but hum,and curry-munchers who just hum. Old people normally niff a bit too.

    I do,however, get cleaned up if going somewhere special. What I then find as bad,if not worse,than a slight pong is some of the Poof sprays that men use and fish-maskers that women employ. Enough to make your eyes water sometimes.

    Fuck them.

  7. I’ve been faced with scummers like this a few times, usually in supermarkets, however there was one old cunt staying at a hotel a few years ago who smelled like a combination of sloppy shit, a North Sea trawler and a three month old unembalmed corpse. It was so bad, the management had to have a word with her as she was making the other guests feel ill. The dirty old cunt’s hair was a wildlife sanctuary. More stale grease in it than Flabbott’s pants. She wasn’t special needs, she was just a stinky old bastard.

    There’s no excuse for not washing. “I don’t have the time” is one usual excuse, or “I can’t afford the products”. No, but you can clearly afford fucking giant cakes and your packets of smokes, you fat cunt. An entire bottle of snow-foam and a Karcher would make a nice freshen-up. Dirty cunts.

    Stale disgusting fucks like this, make Mr Creosote look like an anorexic on a crash diet. Cunt that for a game of tin soldiers.

    • Considering a pack of three bars of soap is under 70p at Lidl the ‘I can’t afford it’ excuse is laughably absurd.

      • Very true, OC. We also had a stinky cunt at work who smelled as rough as a dead tramp’s arse. His genuine excuse was “I’m allergic to soap”. One way to get rid of the backbiting cunt at brew time, was to leave a bottle of shower gel on his chair. Fucking crucifix to a vampire situation.

  8. Yep, this is an excellent cunting.

    There really is no excuse for not washing/bathing, bar mental health issues. Even the homeless have the dignity to go into a public bog and wash under their pits, so there is no excuse for ANYONE with access to a bathroom, soap and water not to do likewise.

    I actually find it both fucking minging and totally inconsiderate, especially when going out in public. What makes these greasy turds think everyone around them wants to be subjected to their stinking honk? I once sat next to a bloke on a flight back from Spain and he was absolutely oozing stink, to the point that I retched all of the way home. It was like being trapped in a fucking sewer and he was a giant jobbie……just gross.

    These rancid fucktards can do what they like in the privacy of their own home, but don’t air it and share it, thanks very much.


  9. After a particularly cold night a farmer goes to check that his cows are ok.
    When he arrives at the field he’s panic stricken to see his livestock almost frozen to death.
    This is a disaster, how will he pay his bills, his mortgage.
    He drops to his knees and prays for help. Within seconds a woman appears from the far side of the field and gently rubs the head of one of the cows. The cow begins to warm up and in no time at all is back to its happy self, chewing the cud.
    Within an hour the woman touches every cow, bringing them all back from the brink of death and walks back the way she came.

    A passer-by who witnesses the whole thing, says to the farmer, “That was fucking amazing, who was that woman?”

    “I just prayed, and asked God to send her, that is Thora Hird”….

  10. Spend some time in the homes of the permanently undereemployed. You’ll need 3 showers and not eat for a day because of the stench of unemptied bins, dog muck in the garden and BO, and the coating of grease and hair that covers their furnishings and floors.
    Vile cunts.

  11. Prior to leaving, a full time officer for each block, was employed to instruct our “cultural enrichers ” in the arts of hygiene and sanitation. Some ( those awaiting deportation ) had been in the UK decades and still had no inkling about cleanliness.
    Everything in the centre could be obtained free, and that included toiletries which the cunts used as currency. The IRC’s were all the same, full of dirty unwashed carcasses who would shit on the floor before using the bog.
    I recall the night when 23 “Botanists” made their escape via the underground Pipework system, (the product of all RAF camps) This episode in Oakington’s life was well reported in the Sun Newspaper, under the caption of “The Great Escape” In the dark, those hiding in the derelict airfield were detected by their awful fucking smell, which necessitated two of G4S’s dogs to be humanely destroyed following the roundup. And what of our future here in the UK? It only gets worse.

  12. Are people who are into golden showers turned on by old folk who stink of piss? May be that these fetishists tend to seek employment in nursing homes. All part of life’s rich tapestry.

  13. there was a woman and her brother who lived in our previous locality, were so excessively smelly that they were eventually banned from the local shops Their self neglect also extended to their house. Their stone clad roof caved in and killed both of them; got rid of the smell though.

  14. I worked for the local housing association once, and there I encountered quite a few people who stank of shit or piss, fags, stale booze and maturing B.O., and that was just one of my coworkers! How the other half live. I didn’t have the stomach to make a career there. Smelly workshy cunts.

    • You may have encountere a former acquaintance of mine. He goes out the house with angry red spots on his forehead to visit his local comic shop to buy plastic toys. He’s 39, hasnt worked in years and lives on frozen ready meals with a gimmegrant ‘mentally ill’ girlfriend.

  15. And why do a lot of those Starking Panleys have that revolting Bombay Mix pong about them? Is it cos they Dirt .E. Cunts?

  16. It’s always been quite an amusing pastime of mine to ‘fuel up’ with a plate of Brussels Sprouts prior to a visit to somewhere like a cinema, plane flight or (especially) a bearded trendy cunt’s fartisan party.

    Advisable to beware the occasional follow through though.

  17. Back in the early 80’s I worked for BT as it was. One fair day I was sent to fit an extension in one of the local dumping ground flats. On arrival I was greeted by a young women who was the partner of the other tenant who I was informed was in prison. The flat had the typical smell common to most such dwellings, burnt food stale smoke rotting bins nappies and piss. This poor girl did not have a clue about anything really gormless. Anyway I began to run the cable for the extension I noticed that the carpet was somewhat damp and stank of stale piss. My coveralls also stank of stale piss to cut a long story short I manfully refused the offer of tea and a sandwich and made good my escape. I had to return to the depot to change my coveralls and have a shower as I smelt like a piss house floor. I can assure you readers that in other employment I have seen, smelt ,fell in much worse but always the filthy houses got me the most and not all of them were sink estate properties. I reckon I have visited properties that have been so bad the chance to emigrate to a third world shithole would have been preferable to living in them the occupants fucking stank as well.

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