Coupon collectors

Cunts who use coupons at supermarkets. I was in Sainsburys earlier buying my parents a bottle of Heineken each for Christmas and was stuck behind a guy getting all his individual coupons out to save no more than a couple of quid for what felt like an age. When I come to power coupons will be banned – if you shop around like any reasonable person does there’s no need for them anyway.

Nominated by OpinionatedCunt

58 thoughts on “Coupon collectors

  1. Nice.

    And who are these people? I donct know anyone like that. Is it all a dream?

    But they do take, absolutely fucking ages, as if this shop was the most enjoyable part of the day.

    Get a life. Get a fucking personality!

  2. Tesco encourage this awful behaviour by sending these coupons to clubcard holders, giving shoppers a license to irritate everyone else.
    This means at xmas time every second female shopper has a top-trump deck of these things. It’s as if they look at you every time they throw one down on the counter, followed by that wry grin as they continue to shuffle the deck – “I’m sure I have a coupon for that in here somewhere…”
    I have a coupon for you, look – it’s printed on my knuckles.

  3. To be honest, it’s the revelation that you bought your parents a bottle of Heineken each for their Christmas present that concerns me most..

    🙂 .

    • Well, that’s what they both like at the end of the day. Got them other stuff as well obviously.

      • My grandmother ( on my dad’s side). many years ago bought myself and my two brothers a two man tent for Christmas.
        The following year she bought us the ground sheet.
        Bless her.

        • Nothing wrong with heineken per se Op but there are better beers or ales out there and I think Fiddlers just disappointed you didn’t buy guinness

  4. Similarly … when you, and a dozen other folks, are stood in a queue at the Post Office, and up at the front is modern mum / grandmother letting a toddler of about three years old … ‘help the lady at the till’ .. ‘Yes, you put the parcel on the scales ..and , yes, the lady will let you weigh Teddy as well’ … Turn around you Cunt and see the folk on already a short lunch break just trying to get the fuck in and out the place as quick as possible …
    …or the same mother / grandmother letting same said toddler either fill the conveyor belt from the trolley at the supermarket till when there’s people behind them queuing, and / or , push the laden trolley between the back of the tills and the exit doors (which is usually the narrowest of spaces at the best of times anyway) at a fucking snails pace ……..
    There’s a time and place for ‘including’ kids …. but not when you’re causing havoc with the rest of folk getting on with daily life.

  5. Don’t be so bad-tempered.

    Not everyone is born to middle-class and/or upper-classes of the UK. Have a bit of understanding and don’t immediately condemn the poor fellow for using coupons. There are REAL cunts out there who need a good cunting.

    I reckon you’re a very young person. The tone of your comment reminded me of Kevin the Teenager (the main character in Harry Enfield Presents Kevin’s Guide to Being a Teenager) 😀

    Golden rule for ISAC users: “If you be cuntish to others, others will be cuntish to you”

    • ES, you do need to be aware of the ISAC rule of not cunting fellow cunters. Ribbing is fine and all part and parcel of the camaraderie, as long as things don’t get out of hand.

      My problem is with the dozy bellends (usually husband and wife ‘team’) where one is frantically packing the goods into bags and wrestling with cash whilst the other one does fuck all too help and grins inanely into space.

      One packing and one paying would speed up the process immensely.

      Here endeth the Maskinback sermon for today. God bless all you hallowed cunters.

      • Dear Revd Maskinback,

        Disagreeing with a fellow cunter and reminding him/her (in a jocular fashion) that not everything or everyone is a cunt does not constitute Cunting.

        My point is that there are REAL cunts out there, as opposed to this coupon-using fellow.

        • “For verily I say unto you, Cunt ye the Nom, not the Cunter; lest thou be removed, and cast for eternity into outer darkness.”

          • For “outer darkness” read BRINO…

            Does anyone remember football coins at the garages ?

            Hubbard Mint proudly presents, in 24-carat silver plated dried meerkat foreskins, the famous “Shat on the Pitch” moment to commemorate Gary Lineker (Please God, that the bastard is on borrowed time, and he won’t be able to make the monthly repayments…)
            Yours for only 99p, p&p £500-.

        • You cunted OC. I think most on here would agree with me on that.
          We don’t blatantly cunt each other in here.
          Thems the rules my friend.

          • Disagreeing with a particular subject of cunting is not cunting fellow-cunter, for God’s sake !!!

            Being a snowflake and expecting ISAC to be an echo chamber, on the other hand, is truly Cuntish.

            If you have a reasonable argument about cuntishness of using coupons, I’ll be glad to hear it. But, you have no right to admonish me if I object to coupon-users being called “cunts”.

            You are not Thought Police of ISAC.

          • I’m beginning to get the feeling that someone – not a million miles from this thread – uses large numbers of coupons in supermarkets on a regular basis… and I’m not referring to Lady Creampuff… 😂

    • There should be golden rules for shopping.
      1. Stay at home mums and Pensioners should not be allowed to shop over the lunchtime period!
      2. Pensioners shouldnt shop on a Saturday morning (just because they have always shopped on a Saturday morning)
      3. If you are going to use coupons make sure they are VALID and have them ready, I have been behind people in a queue searching through a pile of coupons trying to find the ones they can use, it is fucking annoying.

      I use the Tesco vouchers because they send them, so I am not going to throw them away, it is very quick because they aren’t specific to a particular product, so takes seconds to put through.

  6. The fuck you on about? My parents were both extremely working class growing up and my father was only able to bring a middle class wage in for us by working extremely hard to do so. Like I said in the cunting, if you shop about you save more money anyway – it’s rare that people only have one option to go to regarding supermarkets these days.

    • People who behave decently and are civil are not cunts. Using coupons is not cuntish behaviour.

      • Considering how long those people take in relation to how little money is actually saved they’re better off shopping around instead – both in terms of them saving money and less people being inconvenienced
        Hell, most places these days have at least one of a Lidl or Aldi (and if they don’t then there’s certainly gonna be one nearby), with the usual big supermarkets as well. In my small town alone we have a Lidl, Aldi, Sainsburys, Asda, Iceland and Waitrose (although why anyone would go there to save money I can’t fathom).

  7. It would certainly help if some of these coupon carrying cunts actually made some early preparation with their coupons while waiting in the fucking queue, rather than leaving it to the very last minute!

    And you do get some cunts who like to pay in cash, which is fine if they want to hand over whole denominations (a £20 quid note for £17.54p worth of goods); but you always get those cunts who have go through all their purse or wallet compartments looking for the exact money, right down to the 54p.

    Why exactly? They’re not doing the supermarket any favours. And all it does is piss everyone else off in the queue. Even more so if they haven’t bagged up, in which case you have to wait even more while they start bagging, only to find that they haven’t brought their own bags and so ask the till girl for 10, which comes a a cost of say 55p. And again out comes the fucking purse and another dig around for the 55p!

    Then she starts bagging, but she doesn’t just dump everything in bags because the queue now stretches all the way down to J4 of the M5; no, she has to put certain foods in certain bags. And not just thrown in either, but positioned and calculated. While at the same time wittering onto the till girl about the fucking weather.

    During which time I have started and finished Tolstoy’s “War & Peace”, and she’s still there checking everything is accounted for and putting her remaining coupons back in her purse before pissing off to the car park.

    A true event, courtesy of Sainsburys and a woman in her mid 30s not having the fortitude of thinking ahead or lacking any understanding of the word haste!

  8. Now if you think coupons are cunts, well try this.
    The company I work for offers “staff perks” one is 10% off the ASDA charge card.
    so I load £100 on to the card and get £110 credit!
    sounds great doesn’t it, only thing is the card doesn’t go through the tills that easily.
    when the card is presented the checkout assistant has a fit, calls the supervisor who then has to do a manual entry into the till and hey presto 8 mins later the bill is paid.
    I used the card 3 times to get my money back, the embarrassment and the delay it causes its just not worth 10% off your shop to be the most hated person in the building.

  9. ‘was in Sainsburys earlier buying my parents a bottle of Heineken each for Christmas’

    …you smooth fucker!

  10. Easy enough to fix; there are already separate checkouts for folk with just a few items in a basket, those who want to pay with cash and those who have been modern enough to bleep the barcodes as they go round.

    Set up another desk for the Couponistas and the only people they will inconvenience are fellow scrimpers, who can chat amongst themselves and play top trumps as they wait in line.

    Perhaps use the same principle to deal with other groups of annoying bastards – families that shop together, old people, shouty people, chatty people, people with Clubcards buried somewhere in the bottom of their luggage or attached by carabina to their car keys, people with neatly-folded ‘Bags for Life’ etc and there is a faint chance that the victualling run will become slightly more bearable for a grinch like me.

    I will continue to shop in a fully middle aged male and heterosexual manner: everything goes into the trolley in the order that I find it; it therefore comes out in exactly the reverse order (regardless of food group, fragility or storage options) and I choose which checkout I use based solely on the prettiness and chest size of the girl on the till.

    • ‘families that shop together’. So true, so true. The family that shops together, stays together.

  11. As all too often the case, the problem is not necessarily with coupons but with the dozy cunts who spend eternity looking for them at the checkout. And for their card. And for the exact money. And.
    Some latitude must obviously be given to the frail and elderly. To the rest, kindly remember that making other people wait while you sort out the minutiae of your budget is the action of a cunt. Also that the place for young children to play is not under the feet of the customers in the shop.
    These used to be principles handed down through the generations, but alas no longer.

    • Well put Komodo, my thoughts precisely, had I not been too demented to gather them.

  12. OK I’m not sure if I’m supposed to say this but it turns out that English Scientist is a troll who has so far had IP addresses in Illinois, Paris and Istanbul.

    • VPN. Probably OC.
      My gripe with waiting in the shop queue is.
      I’m waiting in the queue on Friday after work with my bottle of bourbon for myself and a bottle of prosecco for bent Dennis. The cunt in front lays their full trolley of groceries out on the conveyor belt, do they let me go before them. Do they fuck .

      • That’s pretty sick MPG. I fear there remains considerable prejudice in society against alcoholic poofs.

        On behalf of the entire teetotal heterosexual community I hereby apologise for you not being allowed to jump the queue.

      • I’m sure that is unwritten Lidl & Aldi etiquette. I give way to others and people have done the same for me. Don’t see it much in the Highlands cos tourists are cunts.

    • I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to say it’s a troll without strong supporting evidence. ES’s bona fides may not bear scrutiny, is about as far as I’d go. I don’t use a VPN, but given that ISAC is not entirely sympathetic to the current inclusive culture, it might not be a bad idea if I did… if a cunter repeatedly cunts other cunters, of course, it needs to be banned.

      • From what I’ve heard he has been banned. From the sounds of it he has a bit of a history of trolling under different names before.

        • All regular cunters know this is not a football forum and we respect each other’s pet hates. Anyone who picks a fight with a fellow cunter should be led onto the trap door.

      • Fuck me I had a sharp difference with ES yesterday now I’m rushing to his defence. He didn’t call you a cunt OP. All he did was express an irritation with you. Now you’re talking troll, VPN IP address. You have put him under suspicion now. And he may feel, like the much missed Freddie the Frog of happy memory, that he doesn’t was to partake anymore. We’ve got to hold onto cunters on here who have something interesting to say.

        • I said he was a troll because that’s literally what I’ve been told he is. I received an email this morning as did the other admins informing me that the main admin had banned him because he’s somebody who’s used other accounts and IP addresses to behave like a troll before. Trust me when I say I had nothing to do with him being banned – I didn’t request it and I didn’t push for any action. It wasn’t my decision so if you have an issue with it take it up with the main admin by using the contact form.

          • Don’t bother. “Our blog, our rules” remember?

            ES hops proxies. He’s been in Montreal, Istanbul, Paris and Illinois this week alone. We don’t like people who get uppity, stir up trouble and hop proxies all the time. Smells of troll to me.

            And Freddie wasn’t/isn’t banned. He was just asked nicely to wind it in and replied with an apology so we have no issue with him.

            But it’s still “Our blog, our rules” and anyone who doesn’t like that is free to do the other thing. We don’t force anyone to come here and don’t really give a shit one way or the other to be honest.

          • I’ll leave it after this. But what constitutes a troll? I don’t know about addresses and VPN and such like. Has he broken the rules by having these different…can’t think of a word…mechanisms for accessing the site? Are you only allowed ONE email address? is that RULE? Anyway, my main point. Another word for troll would be crank. A crank would come on a pick on someone and ‘stalk’ them over time. All ES did was express irritation. I have criticized Norman today on the other thread. I am not trolling Norman I just criticized him on a particular point. Fuck me if we aren’t allowed to criticize someone’s position…as I say if he has broken the rules by not being honest electronically as it were OK. But I didn’t see any trolling behaviour at all in his posts. No more from me on this.

          • Somebody who hops IP addresses is generally going to be a troll Miles because its mostly trolls who do that sort of thing. No one else really has a reason to.

          • To clarify, you can use whatever email address you like but bear in mind that if you change it then your first comment under that address is automatically moderated.
            We know the email address but never publish it.

            Re ES, bear in mind that you only see the comments / nominations that pass moderation. He got through again this evening using a new proxy in France with a nomination that was never going to get published that included an incitement to murder by terrorism.

            We might be cunts but we’re not stupid cunts.

            No further comments will be offered on this individual

  13. I have to admit, I am guilty of indulging in the odd coupon or two as I am as hard up as fuck, but I agree that many coupon users are annoying fucktards.

    The ones that really get on my tits are those who don’t sort their shit out BEFORE they come to pay. They rifle through their purse or wallet at the pace of an arthritic snail, pull out a fucking mountain of coupons and then go through each one, trying to identify where the ’50p off bog cleaner’ coupon has got to.

    They have absolutely no care or thought for anyone queuing after them, entitled, selfish twats.

    They are as bad as the dozy ballsacks who haven’t got their purse ready when they come to pay and spend a fucking decade locating it from the bottom of their handbag (those twats are usually women)


    • And what of the Russian doll bag within a bag within a bag…etc… within a wheeled basket with a cover?

      • Oh God yes, that too Komodo.

        Usually grannies pull those shenanigans. I think they do that in case of muggers. You would think they had the contents of Fort Knox in their purse.


    • Not ‘usually’ – ALWAYS. Women ENJOY being in queues – that is the sole reason why Boots and WHSmith are still going.

      • I fucking don’t.

        I HATE queues as I am an impatient cunt, especially when stuck behind numbskulls like that. It gets my tits in a right knot as way before I am even served I have my shit together Purse out and money in hand (correct money if poss) It is not that hard to do, but anyone would think you need a PhD.

        No fucking fannying around, unlike those dozy bastards.

  14. I never use them and – other than the local Co-op for me beer & scratchings fix – I rarely go into supermarkets anyway but when I do (because I haven’t been in for yonks) I get a piano-roll of the fuckers coming out of the till to tempt me back within 7 days to use them.

    I bin the fuckers on my way out and have seen a coupon addict fish them out and pocket them.

    Next time I’ll have to give them a quick visit to the crack of me arse before binning them!

    Greedy chav cunts!

  15. Since Sainsbury’s decided to tick the ethnic majority box for their Christmas advert I no longer shop with these cunts. But they still send me the coupons. Cunts.

  16. Guys, get used to shoppers with coupons. When I get in power, that’s the only way the feckless will get their food. 😉

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