Cold weather

In the interests of balance, since we cunted those who disliked the hot weather earlier in the year, I’d like to nominate the opposite cunts who do nothing but moan about the cold weather.

This year, we’ve staved off the cold longer than most previous, with only late October truly yielding the fruits of Autumn and Winter. And now finally, we can enjoy the picturesque colours on the changing foliage; the unmistakable, intoxicating smell of evening autumnal bonfires; the brisk mornings; getting in from the cold and into a warm living room to watch your favourite porn. Autumn is truly a glorious time of the year.

Except, of course, for the usual cunts who truly believe that anything lower than 16ºC constitutes Arctic research outpost tier. The fucking shitcunts. This year, Summer was largely unbroken ‘twixt late May and late September. 5 months of high temps and endless fucking sunshine. And that still isn’t enough. Still the cunts like Lucy ‘too cunting annoying to want to root’ Verasamy, and her meteorological cunt brethren, deliver news of Autumnal climates on the weather forecast as a dreadful, doom-laden tiding.

These fucking Summer-obsessed cunts, always hanging on for dear life in March, desperate to the point of fever pitch for the first rays of sun and taking them as the instruction to crack out the fucking flip flops and sombreros. Fuck off and and pack the deckchairs up your well-used arses.

In the same way some of us had to suffer the endless fucking sleepless nights of unforgiving humidity and blinding morning light at 4:30am, so too can you cunts suffer the endless dark of Winter. Just stop moaning about the fucking cold and get the fucking Campbell’s soup on the hob, bastards.

Fuck me, I love this time of year. If I could choose how I died, I’d probably opt for the blissful comfort of hypothermia.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

74 thoughts on “Cold weather

    • Unless in Londonistan then its hoods up and puffer jackets all the way – plus the customary gloves, face masks and 10″ kitchen knives. Genghis Kahn has just stated “we need to get violent crime down to ACCEPTABLE levels” – a word salad that shows this little blambo cunt couldn’t give a fuck. No murders should be “acceptable” but at least the right colours are being wasted.
      Latest score this week from Londonistan – black boys with knives 4 – Khan and Dick 0
      Keep up the good work bro, init, know what a mean blud.

  1. I used to think freezing conditions would send African and Middle Easterns running back for the warmth of their homelands.
    Wrong. All it means is we have to chip in even more to keep the workshy cunts in the luxury of their centrally heated apartments. Meanwhile, our pensioners die of hypothermia each year cos they didn’t save enough of their paltry wages earned over fifty years toil to pay the greedy price fixing energy companies.
    All British pensioners, especially ex service personnel, should have free gas and electricity. If we can’t afford that, then we can’t afford to give benefits to gimmegrants.

  2. Well I’m going against the grain from you cunts – I fucking hate and despise this time of year!

    Winter means dark, fog-bound, icy mornings and nights; whacking up the central heating to keep things warm or from the pipes freezing, huge electric and gas bills from those monopolistic price-fixing energy suppliers; slipping and sliding on the pavements and roads as you try to commute to work or the shops. Cunts that throw snowballs at your car or at you personally; shops that are short on basic supplies because of roads been too dangerous because of snow and ice; everything colourless and bland; having to dig out your winter gear including wellington boots, that always need to be cleaned when you get back home because they fucking leak! Everyone saying the fucking obvious “Oh it snowed last night” (as we stand at a bus stop in 3ft of fucking snow), or “Cold isn’t it” and “Soon be Christmas”

    You can shove winter where the sun don’t shine – which is incredibly ironic, when you think about it.

    Merry Fucking Christmas

    • Could’nt agree more. Once the clocks go back it’s gloom all the way through to next February when the evening light up a bit. Fucking Xmas adverts on TV in October are unbearable, as is my cunt of a neighbour who put his outdoor Xmas directions up last week.

    • OK, I think I want to die now. This made me physically sick. It certainly shouldn’t be classed as a crime but a bit like the whole KKK mosque thing it’s despicable behaviour.

      • People with extremely limited intelligence.

        Sort of people who enjoy being cruel to animals.

        Grenfell was a disaster waiting to happen however everything about it sums up what is wrong with this country.

        Unchecked immigration, health and safety failures, council failures, construction failures, building material failure, government failure, fraud, free taxpayers money handed out to everyone, some not even living at Grenfell, outpouring of sympathy (including many cuddly toys), loads of money to lawyers, judges and the legal profession. Nearly one and a half years later, fuck all has really happened, the inquiry still going, and nobody charged. A monumental farce from start to finish. And still lessons have not been learned,

        This country is well and truly finished.

        • Totally agree Willie. May I also add that far more time and resources will be spent pursuing the stupid kids responsible for this “hate crime” than the big suits responsible for the actual crime.
          The enquiry is just an Establishment cover up and everybody knows it.

    • If David Lammy sees tat story he whill be so upset he will have to make multiple TV appearances to show how outraged he is. He lost a friend in Grenfell Tower, you know (he says)

      • He’ll be even more upset if his “friend” wasn’t represented. Not that he would ever mention the fact that he had a friend who…..

    • Massively heart warming Mr Cunt-Engine, it really tickled my bleak sense of humour. I would have liked to have seen it. All the usual slebs point scoring, trotting out the clichés: disgusting, shameful, vile, hateful, moronic, unfeeling, etc. Now the Grenfell “task force” are on to it with a view to identifying the merry japesters and prosecuting. Fuck right off. The only shame about that bonfire was that Lammy wasn’t on it with an effigy of his “friend” who died at Grenfell (if he didn’t already mention it). This country has been perpetrating the “hate crime” of burning a Cafflick effigy for 413 fucking years to date. No prosecutions ever. But given the fact that blambos, immos, illegals etc burn in a death trap building then the media belly aches like the unwillingly butt fucked. Only 71 dead? In a building that size? Fuck right off. Let’s burn a cardboard Grenfell for the next 400 odd years. Nobody will give a fuck and burning a Cafflick effigy is as insensitive as burning a mock up building. So jog on, shut the fuck up and if you’re offended it’s a virtue not to show it because only libtard, SJWs and virtue signallers have anything to gain from taking offense, which is the right to curtail free speech and to prevent the individual from doing as he pleases in his own back yard. The only cunt is that the fuckers were stupid enough to put it on social media. I defend their rights to be cunts at home. I hate the fucking cold weather. That warmed me up no end. Joyce Grenfell was a genius. I’ll thank the burned for reminding me of that if nothing else.

      • Hear hear, just add another 500 cases of PTSD to the bill. The last survivor of the bonfire has about 70 years to go of continuous benefits and faux shock and outrage celebrated every year by the ALBBC
        I am more concerned that a cemetery full of poppies has been ransacked than a few melted blambos.

    • This is probably these cunts’ idea of highlighting the profligate fraudulent claims by the “culturally enriched” by taking the piss.

      Firstly it is absolute bad taste at best and – loathed as I am justify that cuntish excuse of a law – is probably the epitome of a “hate crime”.

      Secondly by doing something as ill-reguarded as this plays squarely into the hands of your Lammy’s and Abbott’s of this world who will now quote this when the – not unreasonable – questions of “How many illegals?” and “How many fraudulent claims have there been?” (or – more importantly – “How many fraudulent claims have been prosecuted?”) are raised.

      So if it was the intent of these cunts to show their dismay about the questions above, then we’ll done you “own goal” cunts, with stunts like this the likelihood of ever getting any answers to these questions become even less likely, and, any reasonable person asking them will be tarred with the same cunt brush as you! Fucking idiots!

      Like Darren “fucking” Osborne, his cunt actions reset the “peaceful” clock on garnering public support against those blowy-up, kiddie-fiddeling cunts! Fucking idiots!

      😬😤😬

      • Further grist to the Race Relations Industry mill. A Double Lammy.

        As with the real Grenfell, we’ll NEVER hear the end of it…

        • Grenfell could have been worse it could have been Anfield that went up in flames caused by a totally illegal fag end or a flare. Now that really would be an endless tragedy. Fucking dindoo nuffin scouse cunts would milk it like a herd of buffalo.

        • Spot on RTC – it will be like the last tommy of the great war – only it will be the last “greenie”. Like the dopey cunts on the good ship Windrush – which had at last count about half a million of the cunts on it. Had the half witted blambos just changed their status (perfectly easy at the time) from a visitor visa to a permanent residential status there would have been no Windrush “problem”. The problem was created when their visitor status ran out and they wanted to go back to the mud huts to show the old folks how great they looked in their wide brimmed hats and tank tops. Grenfell has 3 generations to run yet. Picked up by the taxpayers – as per fucking usual.
          If anyone is watching the sham on Channel 4 with the partisan audience – the result has been overwhelming in favour of staying in the EU – 54% – 46%. So – that’s it then – the green go sign to totally derail the will of the majority of the people.

          • ET lookalike and occasional Green leader Caroline Lucas looked like she had creamed her skanky drawers every time some audience stooge uttered some mis-informed ‘notional’ ideas that supported their choice to remain.

            I wish Lucas would just spontaneously combust.

    • hypocritical anti-capitalist cunts who are quick enough to get their Apple and Samsung smartphones to record the event, while probably swanning off to some posh cafe or restaurants afterwards.

      Cunts

  3. Fucking love this time of year. The cold, bitter wind and slippery ice all conspire to fuck over cunts everywhere. Love it.
    And I like being half frozen. It’s a bit like self flagellation but you don’t get to choose when you do it. Ace.

  4. I fucking HATE the winter! My previous cunting ‘Dark Nights’ refers.
    Doesn’t mean that I can’t appreciate a nicely put together bit of cunting tho. Nicely done, Empire!

  5. I live in a small village in the hills. We always get snowed in during winter.
    When I chat to the locals they are always complaining about there being ‘white stuff’ on the way.
    MOVE SOMEWHERE WARMER THEN.

  6. Thie year has been especially challenging with the nice weather. “How’s this weather suiting you”, I ask. Ooh it’s too hot.

    MOVE SOMEWHERE COOLER THEN.

  7. Suckdick says it could take a generation to solve London’s violent crime problem, the city’s mayor has warned.

    Two teenage boys and two men have been stabbed to death in the city in the last five days, including 15-year-old Jay Hughes.

    He told the BBC’s Today programme to “really make significant progress can take up to 10 years”.

    If you do nothing you useless cunt, vote against Brexit allowing yet more pointless unchecked mass immigration into the U.K. with the problems it brings, and continue to promote your Peaceful brethren OF FUCKING COURSE IT WILL.

    Here’s a suggestion- why don’t you try to do something positive and stop blaming everyone else, or admit that you and Cressida Dick are both fucking useless, not up to the job and FUCK OFF OUT OF IT.

    • This short arse camel worshipping former human rights lawyer is a left wing slime ball Uber scum cunt.
      I could sort the problem in 10 days:
      1) A curfew on all future architects from dusk until dawn and 5 years in a Russian jail if caught outside of this
      2) Minimum 10 year sentence for carrying a knife in a Russian prison
      3) Arm the police
      4) Military to police the streets and start shooting the fuckers on sight of they rampage.
      5) If the talented rapper/aspiring architect lives in social housing the entire household to be evicted.
      6) Death penalty for murder.
      7) 10+ years for possession of drugs ( don’t care what they are)
      8) Death penalty for dealing.
      9) Minimum age for scooter riders to be 25.
      10) ID cards: 2 years in prison for not having one on you.

      That is all,for starters. .

    • What really annoys be about these headline reports of people being stabbed in London, is the fact it makes it look like other big cities around the country don’t have similar problems.

      Here in Birmingham, there’s at least 3 or 4 reports daily of people being stabbed to death or shot. But that doesn’t make the national headlines because its all about fucking London.

    • The only positive thing Sadiq Kunt could do would be to announce he is fucking off tonight to start a new kebab shop in Deptford tomorrow. He has just been on regional ITV saying that kids of nine or ten are picking up knives as calmly as if he was saying they were picking up water pistols. What a self satisifed old motherfucker he is. He makes Jeremy Steptoe sound competent.

    • Hitler would have rounded up any perpetrators and have them shot. 10 years you cunt Khan. This shit show could be resolved overnight.

  8. Suckdick has just pulled that figure out of his over-used anus, hoping that some of the expectation on him for actually solving this within a reasonable timescale may diminish.

    Even the public aren’t that stupid (London voters who let the cunt in excepted) and will surely see right through Suckdick’s new helping of piss and wind. London thoroughly deserves the likes of Suckdick and that single (brain) celled lifeform – Diane Abbott.

    Anyway, on topic. I don’t mind the cold – it kills the nasties off and the frost gives us Brussels Sprouts. Also the feeling of an emerging spring that follows is wonderful – lighter, warmer days, the daffodils coming out.

    • Am looking forward to some decent sprouts, and you’re dead right – they’re no good until a bit of frost.

      As for daffs coming out, am a bit worried – too much of that sort of thing already…

  9. Oh ,and Katrina Ffrench (not a typo) says stop and search discriminates against aspiring architects and that the answer is for da feds to work with da kormunniteeee.

    Fuck off you deluded bint.

    • Black female football payer? No cunts – you mean female football player. What’s skin colour got to do with it? Racist bastards.

    • Its cuntitude of the highest order. Rooney is getting another cap to promote his charity. When in the name of fuck did the FA start dishing out caps for charity? An England cap is earned, its not a shortcut to the honours list, bestowed grace and favour on worthless cunts like Rooney. Want to get your charity a million Wazza? Give up 2 months wages you scouse brush headed bell end has been .

      • Wonder f United will let Sir Bobby Charlton play in the Derby on Sunday? Even at 81 he’d still be better than that Lukaku cunt…. As for Rooney? Fuck the granny fucking KFC guzzling wig wearing fat Scouse cunt…

        • Too right Norman he’s an overrated scouse cunt. Give some of your wages ya balding cunt and shut up another example of virtue signaling cunts.
          And a load of old players from the 60’s and 70’s could still turn out for a good game and compared to modern football I used to love going to matches home and away following Pompey but the Premier league years out me right off.

    • When starting to read the article began to feel sorry for the guy, after reading fully thought what a fucking idiot.

      Who in their right mind eats a slug for a dare, or for any other reason?

      As you say, Darwinism at work.

    • But he was such a good bloke. Yeah and a complete cunt too. Fuck me most animals give the slimey little shit eating cunts and I don’t think even the chicken feet and beak eating chinky cunts eat them. Stupid Cunt

  10. As usual a lot of cunts will get badly burned and fucked up tonight, some of them through no fault of their own. Let’s hope one of them is some sleb remoaner cunt attending some Charidee display to further their own career.
    Gary Taxdodger would be my favourite. A stray rocket, made in some Eastern European shithole, smacking him straight in the face would cheer me up no end.

  11. And what about that spasmodic cunt sliding around on his arse in an airport because they couldn’t give the attention seeking cunt a wheelchair quick enough. I say weld the cunt to a wheelchair, that will stop his shenanigans.

    • Same thing happened to my late mother. We arranged to meet her at Denver, Colorado airport, however she was minus her wheelchair.

      Spoke to BA at Denver- who said the wheelchair was not loaded onto the flight. They spoke to BA London, who said that it definitely was. BA Denver apologised and gave my mother money to sort out a wheelchair for her holiday. Took us a morning to do so.

      Informed later that day from BA that her wheelchair was in fact in Vancouver, Canada.

      BA upgraded her to 1st class on her return journey back into London.

      Would never consider making a complete tit of myself in order to draw attention to my problem, or to sue a company especially if they admit to their mistake and are reasonable in sorting out their problem.

      Really don’t know what is the matter with some people. Poor parenting I reckon.

      • It’s sort of newsflash, people fuck up. Then hopefully, as you say, mostly they do their best to fix it as best they can. Now, any human makes a mistake, well it’s an attack on me personally, racism! Disabled phobia! Abhorrent! Insulting! Shameless self aggrandising narcissism considered the norm. Look sunshine, it was a fuck up, stop demanding someone’s head on a plate. Just like the rest of us, you’re nowt special.

  12. Well cunted.

    I work mostly outdoors.

    A cold spell is not a reason for the world ending….even if it feels like hell has frozen over.

    Cold weather is countered by good food and good clothing.

    Wet weather is a cunt.

  13. Used to ride motorbike to work, few years back in n Yorks when it was minus 18 got to work went for piss and was pleased to find it hadn’t dropped off. Fuck I was cold.

    • Before I started working from home I used to do a 50 mile commute 5 days a week, on a vintage bike and wearing an open face lid. Freezing fog, snow, the lot.
      Now I just walk out the back door to the shed…

  14. i know many on here have certain reservations ( me included) about the inhabi tants of Grenfell Tower but no one deserved to die like that.. the fuckin morons who burnt an effigy of the Tower complete without cut out figures at the windows are weapon grade CUNTS who deserve anything thats coming to them. were they from ESSEX by any chance?

    • I notice the moronic cunts have already been arrested after they handed themselves in,but I doubt they would have been free for long as the old bill would have had every man woman dog etc looking for them. But not many of the murderers of the 115+ stabbing victims have been arrested. Seems like that lady police chief was spot on. And kravdarth I fear you are correct it’s a form of thought policing and that is such a dangerous thing just look at the amount of deplatforming that has gone on over the last few years at Universities. As Jordan Petersen has said to block freedom of speech effectively blocks arguments and that limits any advancement of society.

    • I don’t see any issue at all to be honest. In bad taste? Entirely subjective. You can argue they’re all cunts sure.

      No one was harmed by their antics though. It was fun, for them, and the “utterly unacceptable” aspect is what makes it funnier, for them.

      No one bats an eyelid if some living politicians effigy is used instead of guido, but that’s just a bit of fun, right?

      Double standards and no humour in this country. What a load of waaaannk.

        • Oh I laughed, won’t lie. I utter all sorts of obscenities of the racist and homophobic variety when with friends. No language is off limits.. why should it be?

      • I agree. To some extent Grenfell has had it coming. Tragic it was but it has been, and still is being, milked beyond any decency, and it’s mainly by people who had fuck all to do with living, or having relatives living there. Humour is very personal – look at the laughs these left-wing comics get from the London mob when I wouldn’t wipe my arse on any one of them.

  15. The Grenfell bonfire prank was moronic and crass, and, like all social media morons, I have no sympathy for them. It is, however, emblematic of how your average citizen came to have no sympathy for the Grenfell pity machine. Grenfell opened a window onto a world in which all sorts of undesirables were seen taking the piss out of the honest tax payer.

  16. Fuck me Krav ‘policing’ thought. Your very ready to do some ‘policing’ yourself. Alan F mentions Zyklon B. You fire back ‘that’s not appropriate’. Mr Fiddler legitmately questions Jewish influence at the BBC. You jump down his throat. I myself am fearful of saying anything about the ‘Tribe’. I feel I am being watched. There are a couple of Constables on here. Maybe ‘Constable Krav’? 🙂

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