Royal Mail Junk

All I ask and expect from Royal Mail is that they deliver my post with due dispatch.

As is the way of things, some days I receive mail, sometimes not. Invariably however, what Postman Prat does deliver through my letterbox is a pile of unwanted crud from advertisers trying to peddle their products.

Of course, there is one reason, and one only, why the Mail persists with this environmentally unfriendly practice on an industrial scale. This now privatised cuntpany sees the dollar signs rotating; advertising means more income, more income means bigger profits, bigger profits mean bigger dividends for shareholders and bigger bonuses for the greedy, overpaid fat cat cunts at the top.

To add insult to injury, the fuckers then expect the recipients of this unasked for cack to dispose of it for them. If you are similarly pissed, I recommend this simple solution which works on the principle that the polluter is responsible for clearing up his own mess. Just collect all this bumwad up until you have a stack about a foot thick, and stick it in your nearest post box. See how they like it up ’em, the cunts.

Nominated by Ron Knee

31 thoughts on “Royal Mail Junk

  1. A good and long overdue cunting!

    I will admit, however, that despite annual increases in the price of a stamp it still represents good value compared to similar prices in Europe and North America.

    Nevertheless, RM are a bunch of money grabbing cunts, never satisfied with making huge profits, they still want to squeeze more out of domestic and business customers, in a similar way British Gas, Npower and all those other cuntish energy suppliers keep doing despite making record profits!

    What pisses me off even more is all that faffing about measuring and weighing letters and small jiffy bag parcels which, according to RM, attract a different pricing structure based on weight, length, height, depth and fuck know what else!

    You could of course take all your small parcels to the local PO (assuming you still have a local PO), and spend an age at the counter having them costed for you by the dolly behind the counter. But that takes time and will inevitably result in a big fucking “How much!!??” when she tells you the final score!

    This will also piss off people standing behind you in the queue as you fumble about with your next letter or packet to be weighed in, which will no doubt generate a good bout of queue rage!

    The good old days of getting 2 deliveries per day are just a distant memory; today its more like “you’ll be lucky, pal!”

    But then again who else can you turn to that is a cheaper and more reliable alternative to RM?

    Yes, since privatisation we’re being fucked over the barrel yet again.

    Cunts!

  2. Great cunting!
    You can get more direct with those mailshots – save them all and then pay one a visit.
    You should see their faces as you come in through the door and casually dump them all on their floor instead.
    It’s extremely satisfying.
    Dominos and the local chinese are my favourites.

  3. Off topic momentarily…

    Woke up to the radio this morning and was gladdened to hear commie scumbag Mark Serwotka is keeping Liebour’s anti-semitic home fires burning…

    https://news.sky.com/story/union-boss-israel-created-labours-antisemitism-row-to-distract-attention-from-atrocities-11497004

    Great Cunting btw Mr Knee… though stuffing all the junk back in post boxes is only likely to further piss off the already overworked postal foot soldiers.

    Cunts responsible won’t give a fuck.

  4. No deal Brexit could see house prices plunge according to Carney. ‘Plunge’ of course rather like ‘crash out’. Emotive language eh?.
    More shite from the mouthpiece of Remoaning.
    In the remote possibility that this is based on any facts whatsoever, does it matter in the real world?
    My house would be worth less. So what? If I sell then buying another would even it out.
    Perhaps people could actually afford mortgages.
    Or is he talking about London? And if so who gives a fuck?
    More likely is the danger that reduced value would reduce the notional mickey mouse money and debt in the country which no doubt bankers sell as ‘product’. Oh dear, cant have that.
    Repent you cunts. Listen to Mr Carney. You know it makes sense.

    • Each day there is a new and ridiculous thing that brexit will affect.
      Is there a complete list anywhere of these daily consequences? I think seeing them all on one page will compound the farce and raise a chuckle.
      Also, is there a list of negative effects for european countries?
      I have tried a quick google but all the results are serious ones.

    • I suspect he is talking about London, and yes, I couldn’t give a fuck.

      In 2014 we looked to rent a flat within a house for my youngest daughter in a nice area of North London.

      According to Zoopla the property was purchased in 2002 for £400,000. In 2014,worth approximatelty £3,600,000.

      Who cares if it is only worth £2.5m after Brexit.

      And when was the last time Remainer Cunt Carney was correct on any of his predictions?

      Hammonds one trick pony puppet. Just wish he would fuck off back to Canada where he belongs as he adds NOTHING constructive to the British Economy.

  5. My post normally arrives at about 2 in the afternoon,although,to be fair,it doesn’t really bother me. I remember a few years ago talking to Dicky, the postman,when he was delivering it. He was laughing as he handed me a leaflet which he gleefully told me that he had delivered to every house on his round. It was about the benefits of switching to mains gas. Now considering that I live not only in rural Northumberland,but one of the most remote parts of Northumberland, the thought of the benefits of mains gas had, I must admit,never crossed my mind. Still, never one to miss the chance of being a Cunt, I dutifully rang the number and asked them to explain the “Great Deal”….it was going swimmingly for a while,as I heard that my Aga could be converted and the whole house apparently heated for coppers. I was well up for a visit where they could discuss my requirements until we got to the thorny issue of address and postcode. There is no mains gas supply within 30 miles of my house,so even the delightful lady on the phone was forced to admit that,seeing as I was meant to pay for the installation of the pipe from the nearest main to my house,the cost may be slightly more than I was willing to pay.
    You really would think that they’d check before sending out leaflets to an area where their service didn’t even exist. Virgin are another who do it. I plan to ring them some time to book an appointment to connect my fibre internet,or whatever it’s called.

    Fuck them.

    • Virgin are cunts. The fibre internet is very reliable, so we had it connected as soon as they had finished digging up all the pavements round here.
      One month later they wrote to us informing us of a price increase.
      Utter piss taking cunts.

      • It wasn’t reliable for me, it would drop out almost every day and when I rang they’d say it was my fault. They’d then ring me 30 minutes later to say it was a network problem. I already fucking knew that, it’s why I fucking rang you in the first place, cunts.

  6. Most of the mail stuffed into my mailbox is crap, promotional guff,catalogues by the kilo. Straight into the recycling bin which after two weeks of the crap stream I dutifully drag around to the frontage of my house to be collected and hopefully burnt to produce electricity (the contents of bin that is). All this hassle so I can get a hernia dragging a bin weighing more than me stuffed full of advertising and begging letters 1/4 mile twice a month. Shit I know what that poor little cunt who walks ten miles for a bucket of piss water feels like, well twice a month anyway

  7. The poxy and ridiculous Xmas perfume ads have already fucking well started.

    Cannot stand another three months of the annoying bastards.

    • Not to mention the begging letters from all those charities with huge offices in London and CEOs on a quarter mill salary and Audi thrown in…

  8. No one Dead yet to cheer us up this Friday ?
    Could do with a biggie
    B .liar or Phil the Greek
    See some person of colour that was in some shit bands been done for rape ?
    He will walk free and his rights will have been no doubt abused etc etc
    You know the script by now

    • To be honest would be more than happy with any members of the C celebrity list.

      Theresa May
      Phil Hammond
      Gina Miller
      Lord Adonis
      Alan Duncan
      Chukka Ummuna
      Nick Clegg
      Mark Carney
      Froggie Barnier
      Martin Selmayr
      Editor of the Guardian newspaper

      Pretty please Shaun?

      • How about

        Lily Mong
        Satan Blair
        Gary Linekunt
        Banana Nana-Nana-Nana-Nana Gob
        Madogga
        Saddam ‘Suckdick’ Khan
        Cressida Dilldo
        Owen Jones

        As Andrew Lloyd Cunter and Tim Shite once put into song, Any cunt will do…

  9. Sorry, but have to share this:

    there is some worthy programme on R4 at the moment about black culture.
    Apparently the plot of the film Black Panther is based on a technologically advanced African kingdom which hasn’t had contact with Europeans, ever.
    As sub Saharan Africans hadn’t managed writing, the wheel or 2 storey huts this is very interesting.
    Then some fucker talks about pre-slavery history. As Africa practised slavery long before whitey got there, I am not sure what this means. Paleolithic times? Also there was no writing before Arabs or Whitey got there so where does this history come from?
    Worthy, fictional, black culture bullshit.
    This ought to be a cunting but I will leave it at that for now.

  10. Those Yodel cunts are also… well… cunts…
    Got a ‘missed parcel’ card on the mat this morning, so I went next door to enquire… Next door neighbour (sexy as fuck bird) tells me a huge fuck off telly has been delivered… But the number/address on the thing wasn’t mine… It was a house around the corner… It appears these Yodel retards can’t distinguish a six from a nine… Thick and lazy as fuck cunts… Turns out I know the old lady who ordered the goggle box… A frail old dear, so I took it round for her (and did myself a bit of good with aforementioned fit neighbour)… But Yodel are stupid cunts who couldn’t find their arse with both hands and a satnav… Cunts!

    • DHL is also crap. I reckon that if I ever needed to dispose of a body, I’d stick it in a big box addressed to myself, and send it DHL. Guaranteed I’d never see or hear of it again.

  11. Yes something awful about using the word ‘product’ in regards to money. ‘Financial product’. It’s all insanity. I remember hearing about ‘toxic debt’ at the time of the global financial crisis. How can you buy debt? Like Chris Morris with ‘Good AIDS’ and ‘Bad AIDS’ is there ‘Good Debt’, ‘Bad Debt’?Absolute insanity.

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