Leaner drivers

Leaner Drivers

No, that’s not a typo or misprint. Drivers who lean into a corner…
I’ve been aware of the prevalence of this unfathomable behaviour for many years now and can only thank the inestimable IsAC site for the opportunity (possibly) to draw attention to it.

I see Leaner Drivers at the traffic lights just down the road, virtually every day. People who, when behind the wheel of a vehicle, seem to be trying to entice the car around a corner by leaning over to the desired side, tilting their bonce to such a ludicrous degree that barely an earhole is left visible above the dashboard, instead of turning the fucking steering wheel* – thus ensuring their vehicle describes the widest possible arc around the corner, missing the apex of the bend by, on average, 7 light years and scrawping merrily down the door handles of any poor cunts waiting in the adjacent lane.

*Ah yes – the steering wheel – that big circular effort right in front of you (assuming your IQ allows you to be sitting in the correct seat to be driving). Go on, give it a try – turn the fucking thing – that’s what it’s there for – it makes the car go from side to side. Keeping your hands in the same position, leaning over as far as you can and “willing” the car to go around the corner doesn’t achieve the same effect, you gormless cunt.

Fuck me – how did these cretins ever get a driving licence ?

Nominated by Cunt Reviled

30 thoughts on “Leaner drivers

  1. This is every bit as bad as those wankers who drive while lying down in their seat so they can’t see over the dashboard but they think it looks cool. These people are usually non-caucasians so I suppose it’s ok. Cunts!

    • Indeed Diogenes,
      Also particularly prevalent in the pikey / gippo community of listless cunts. A transit van or one of them cab and a half Chelsea tractors are the favourite of the non tax paying, ruin everything in sight after you have stolen anything of worth and deposited parcels of shit all over where It is you decide you want to infest for the duration until the local council can get a warrant to move you on cunts. They spend the summer months spreading disease and 5mm of tarmac wherever they infest then fuck off back to the land of the little people to completely take over the place where they have bought houses and live like fucking rats. The Garda have already declared one town lawless and lost to the cunts known as “travellers”. They aren’t gipsies – they are tinkers, charvers, potters. Good for nothing cunts whose sole purpose in life is to wreck anything and everything in their path whilst claiming they are a “race” badly done to by every council and community in the land.
      Unsurprisingly the filthy cunts have moved into crime – known as the Rathkeale Rovers they have targeted museums and tobacco smuggling amongst their multi million pound ill gotten gains. The most annoying trait they possess apart from the aforementioned theft and thuggery is the inability to sit up straight whilst driving their top of the range marques procured from ill gotten gains. just a drop of novochek on a few caravan doors could put an end to these miserable cunts forever.
      NB – the little place I refer to in the land of the bog dwellers is Rathkeale

  2. Applause sir, great cunting. These arseholes who insist on doing this are everywhere down my way.
    I always think that position makes them look like they are aping steven hawking. It’s the only way I can stop my piss boiling.
    They shouldn’t have passed their test. The instant the examiner laid eyes on them he/she should have said “fuck off you prick. Come back when you’re not a cunt.”
    Unfortunately it seems that getting your license is a human right not to be denied.
    Driverless cars will sort out these cunts. Then they can lay down so far they can’t be seen.
    Or maybe with two hands free they’ll understand that they can now masturbate upside down, just to annoy us all even more.
    Perhaps we should be stopping these cunts in the womb. Or maybe even earlier in their no doubt absent father’s nuts.

  3. My missus always freaks out if I take a shit with the door open.

    I don’t know what her problem is.

    I always keep one eye on the road….

    • JR, I awoke the other day to find a German Shepherd shitting on my front lawn!

      I wouldn’t have minded but he didn’t even have a dog with him.

  4. Licence-holders or not, most drivers are cunts, as the following examples illustrate:

    The Audi/BMW driver. This cunt mistakenly that he’s* all that and more, thus exempting him from: having to signal his intentions to other road users; maintain a safe gap between his car and the one in front; and obey the speed limits, particularly on urban roads.

    Then there’s the SUV driver. This cunt thinks that being a parent gives him special privileges, such as the right to simultaneously occupy multiple parking spaces, the right to change lanes on a whim and the rexclusive right to use the roads in and around whichever idiot factory his offspring attend.

    And to conclude this thumbnail selection of worstcunts, let’s hear it for the woman driver. Frosty of face and cold of heart, this particular cunt can be identified by the following traits: an utter inability to drive round the slightest of curves at a speed remotely approaching the legal limit; the use of the rear view mirror exclusively to facilitate the application of make-up; the inability to see ANYTHING that lies more than six feet in front of her car; and a refusal to give way to other traffic irrespective of the fact that they have priority over her.

    *The word ‘he’ is used in a gender-neutral sense – the greater including the lesser…

    • As for those cunts who have a sign in the back window which reads ‘child on board’. These are often the worst drivers on the road. Is the child fucking driving? Cunts!

      • I must say that these signs have helped me in the past. Many’s the time I was about to rear end some vehicle for the sheer hell of it, only to be deterred at the last second by the ‘child on board’ sign.

      • What is it with those signs anyway? “I was going to ram at high speed into the back of you, but now I’ve seen you’re laden with a screaming brat, I’ll ram someone else”

  5. Seems Arch-Hypocrite Justin Welby’s been caught out again – previously for Church of England’s indirect investments in Wonga – now turns out Amazon is one of the 20 most valuable investments held by his organisation’s multi-billion £ fund.

    Once a money grubbing oil executive, always an airy-fairy cake and eat it Cunt.

    • What would Jesus say? Answers on a communion sheet (hey, I’m doing okay for an agnostic) if you please.

    • CoE – money grubbing cunts. Always out with the begging bowl to the poor ignorant masses, while investing in shit hot stock like Amazon and investing their ill-gotten gains into some offshore investment bank where the taxman can’t get his grubby mits on it!

      Then of course some of those vicars/bishops et al (and not just with the CoE either) have a history of kiddy-fiddling, all hushed up by the cunts at the top, and all the Pope can say is “Oh, sorry about that! They are forgiven for their wrongdoing (now that the media have found out after 30 years). Now let’s move on. Let’s talk about investment portfolios…”


  6. This is how I imagine Gary Linekarnt drives any of his presumably many cars. Too self-important to be aware of other drivers, too above the little people to use indicators; Leaning and leering, like the hypocritical, pug-faced cunt that he clearly is.

  7. Electoral Commission got Brexit law wrong over Vote Leave, court rules.

    Anti-Brexit campaigner and Labour peer Lord Adonis said: “It sounds to me as if the Electoral Commission has not been doing its job properly. On the face of it, it seems to have been extremely incompetent.”

    He told the BBC’s Politics Live that if there was another EU referendum, which he wants to see, “we need a rather more fit and proper body to be in charge of it”.

    In his judgement, Lord Justice Leggatt said the Electoral Commission had “misinterpreted the definition of ‘referendum expenses'” as defined by the Political Parties, Elections and Referendum Act.

    Electoral Commission set up by the UK parliament not fucking fit for purpose. Who’d have thought it. So much like any other government appointed department then.

    Sure had it have gone the other way Adonis would have been very happy. Probably wont stop him spouting his Leavers broke the rules bollocks.

  8. In the all-encompassing sense, the problem with every other driver out there is that they have put their fucking car on my road. FFS.

  9. Nicely timed cunting. Yesterday (14th) driving back from Sherrigham on the 1065. uphill right blind bend, noddy gob overtakes me at a terrific speed, shits at oncoming car that suddenly appears round the bend and opts to leave the road as the most likely option to preserve life. What a fucking spectacular crash!
    His car was sporting an “L” plate and I guess he must have been the supervisor or even the instructor as he was the only one in the car.

    Was he hurt? Was he fuck. Shaken, bruised crapping himself, but otherwise ok. Car? complete fucking write off. Now If the cunt had been killed he would have deserved it. Better him dead that the poor unsuspecting driver in the oncoming. The standards of driving today are truly worrying.

    • From behind his motor looks like a 3 seater with hairy fecker in the middle and a bald fecker either side of him

  10. Just driven the A1065 south on a journey back from Marham today. Cunt in a delivery lorry almost suffered a similar fate when impatiently overtaking a tractor.

  11. Fat Cunts in Spacca-chariots tend to lean into corners too. Although,to be fair,I think that it could be involuntary,just all that blubber naturally rolling around. I’d love to see one of the lardarses tip,but the only time I’ve seen one of those things go over was when an old fella who enjoyed a drink attempted to wheelie it onto the kerb after a Saturday afternoon on the piss. Oh,how we all guffawed and jeered watching the drunken old bugger trying to crawl out from underneath it…he was a right laugh, my old uncle.

  12. It’s fair comment if you’re talking about a decent car with proper supportive seats. In that case it’s more than a little silly.

    However, there are plenty of (shitty poverty spec) cars out there where unless you lean or at least brace, your face will be smearing the side window every time you take a left.

    • Hats off to you, good sir.

      No doubt you learnt to drive while defending King & Country.

      My unc was in tanks, and after the war chose his cars accordingly – Austin 1100, Allegro, and a strange hatchback called a Talbot. They all looked like they’d lost their gun-turrets. And handled like tanks.
      I remember being on holiday in Dorset with him once, and he derived much glee from revving up and tailgating a plis car.
      What worried me was that we were bang outside AEE Winfrith, and said coppers were probably from Mr. Benn’s Nuclear Police.

      And regarding some driving in Naaarge when I lived there, a taxi driver commented on one tired-of-life individual (at the big junction down by Thorpe Station) “Fuck – did he get his licence out of a shreddies packet?”

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