Done to Death Songs

It’s a sunny day. You’re maybe driving along, enjoying the scenery, or relaxing in the the garden with a glass of wine. The radio’s playing, helping to set the mood. Then suddenly, IT comes on, AGAIN.

‘Is this the real life, is this just fantasy…’ Click!!
‘Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away…’ Click!!
‘And now, the end is near, and so I face…’ Click!!

Yes, it’s another of those songs that just gets played, recycled, re-recorded by everybody under the fucking sun and re-played endlessly, forever, until yet another airing makes your ears bleed. There are categories and sub categories of the genre eg

Childrens’ songs; ‘grandad, grandad, we love you…’
Novelty songs; ‘wopam gangnam style…’
(and of course) Xmas songs; ‘can you stop the cunting cavalry ya ta ta ta ta ta…’
Jonah Louie deserves a special cunting all on his own for inflicting this steaming horse shite on us every December.

Well I could go cunting on and on and on here, but I think you get the idea without further ado. Please could the powers-that-be throw every copy of such muck into the nearest landfill and bury it under a pile of crap immediately so that mankind is spared further exposure to this pestilence.

Nominated by Ron Knee

80 thoughts on “Done to Death Songs

  1. ‘It’s Chriiiiiiistmasssss’

    Shut the fuck up Noddy.

    Fuck you’re going in my next Deadpool

    I reserve a special hatred for that pile of cunt song.

  2. You can add to that list all those WM club ancient singalong staples that come on like clockwork every Saturday night: “Brown-Eyed Cunt”, “Sunny”, “Sleepy fucking Jean”, and all the other fucking Worthington Creamflow fuelled dross.

    Overplayed songs are a massive cunt. Non more overplayed though than Geldof’s perpetual, retirement fund abomination ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas’. Isn’t he due to arrange yet another update of this, likely featuring fat cunt’s fat cunt Adele, and semi-incomprehensible over-aggressive grime darkies like breakthrough cunt Stormzy?

    • Have to correct you there TECB.
      Geldof definitely didn’t benefit financially from that great song. And no Ethiopian warlords bought arms on the proceeds either.
      I know this to be a fact because the sainted one said so.

      • Indeed Cunstable, you are dead right. I know deep down that Geldof’s fortune and various 6-bedders are all down to the royalties earned from his hugely successful career with the BoomTown Rats.

  3. Amen! Add to the list that cringe-inducing ode to phony idealism, “Imagine.” Whatever hypocrite materialist John Lennon did with The Beatles will never be enough to forgive him foisting this shit on the airwaves. He deserves another cunting just for this (and for burdening the world with the public presence of Yoko Ono.) It’s embarrassing enough to fuck some screeching pan-faced Chinaman sonovabitch with droopy tits. Work out your mother issues as you like, but keep it private and don’t marry the ugly cow- and DON’T give her a microphone for Christ’s sake!

    PS I know the old hag is a Jappo, don’t bother correcting me.

      • I like what Bernard Manning said about him shortly after he was murdered: “John Lennon said he wanted peace….Well it cant get more peaceful where the cunt is now,fuck me thats what you call real peace and quiet”

        • Next time Independence Day* is on the telly, compare the alien baddies with a picture of Yoko.
          Uncanny…

          *Warning… Contains Will Smith!

  4. ALL RIGHT NOW

    Free Bird… All You Need Is Love… Whiter Shade Of Pale… Nights In White Satin…

    They’re all Cunts out there!

    • Free were great, but even I am sick of hearing ‘All Right Now’ by err now….
      They did much better songs than that anyway….

      Lennon’s ‘Imagine’ is another one I’m sick of… It just reminds me that Yoko Fucking Ono is still about….

        • Free were top notch!

          Tons Of Sobs easily makes it into my top 20 albums.

          Nothing actually wrong with the songs mentioned in my earlier post except they’ve been OVERPLAYED and OVEREXPOSED for decades, and as a result ruined for me.

    • Surely not Free bird my good man!!

      Unless you mean when the radio stations play the song, and then FADE out the epic 5 minute guitar solo at the end!!

      I know someone, (a cunt) who didn’t know the song had a guitar solo. What a cunt.

    • Rediscovered ‘A Salty Dog’ the other day on YouTube.
      Mystifyingly not available on IShit.
      Epic.
      Brooker and Reid barely out of their teens then. Where the fuck is that sort of creativity these days?

  5. There are so many things I really fucking hate about Xmas that i’m thinking about becoming a peaceful. However, even the peacefuls, driving around in their taxis looking for under age girls, can’t avoid the nauseating and cringeworthy Xmas song. Noddy, Roy Wood, Chris Rea and Cliff need to be hanged for crimes against humanity. Ok i’ll let Cliff off just to wind up the BBC but any other arsehole involved in Xmas songs must die a horrible and painful death.
    Cunts.

    • Whaddya mean? Peacefuls love Xmas!

      Haven’t you seen the Tesco adverts? John fucking Lewis?

      Fool thyself not – there is no escape!

      • John Fucking Lewis / Waitrose indeed.

        Bohemian Rhapsody was enough to make my eyeballs puke when I was a teenager, now the overlong ad seems to be on at every break. FFS how much that must be costing them…

  6. I can still remember the excitement of Christmas day, waking up early, jumping out of bed.
    “Has he been yet?”

    The magic of it all, the anticipation,

    “Has he been yet?”

    We weren’t allowed to open any presents until our dad had been for a shit…

  7. And that’s without the breathy, adenoidal, prepubescent renditions of once great rock/pop songs to accompany the cavalcade of “on message” “culturally enriched” Xmas ads that we’re soon to be exposed to.

    So fuck you:

    M&S
    John Lewis
    Tesco
    Sainsbury’s
    ASDA
    ALDI
    LIDL

    …and any other cunt retailer that dares pretend that “peaceful” scum celebrate Xmas. They don’t.

    Oh and before you begin to argue, if you live in the “peacefully” enriched town of Lutonistan, you would be familiar with the spate of bricks going through the windows of folk daring to hang fairly lights or decorations in them!

    Oh you didn’t know, that’s because it’s not newsworthy is it.

    However, put a bacon butty OUTSIDE of a mosque and you’ll be arrested and put in chalky with a boat load of terrorist Stanleys who will kill you.

    So fuck off complicit retail scum and take your shit rehashes of once great songs with you!

    Cunts!

  8. Fart FM, Phlegm 106 and fucking Saga aka Smooth Radio. These are the cunts who play Irene Cara, Flash Dance – What a Feeling, and Fame, over and over on a repeating playlist daily. The “Hot Caramel” darkie cunt was famous for 5 minutes in the early 80s yet you can guarantee to hear these two songs in any location where traders, play MoR music to “soothe” their customers. It’s the rare white taxi drivers favourite. I don’t know how I manage to stay out of Broadmoor such is my psychotic breakdown, when these cunts get air time.

    • Oh, and any version (there must be hundreds) of the Leonard fucking Cohen song Hallelujah, is sure to turn me into a gibbering wreck. I didn’t mind some of his songs but for this one song I’d have bunged him in a cattle truck and waved him off.

      • Hipsters hijacked the Jeff Buckley version and some shitcunt murdered it further on an X-Factor Idol Cuntfuck Got Talents.

        There are songs which have been covered so extensively and so brutally beaten and ran over that there is no life left in them at all. ‘Hallelujah’ is one fine example.

          • I’d like to see them tackle this one…

            Please Don’t Pass Me By by Leonard Cohen.

            I was walking in New York City and I brushed up against the man in front of
            me. I felt a cardboard placard on his back. And when we passed a streetlight,
            I could read it, it said “Please don’t pass me by – I am blind, but you can
            see – I’ve been blinded totally – Please don’t pass me by.” I was walking
            along 7th Avenue, when I came to 14th Street I saw on the corner curious
            mutilations of the human form; it was a school for handicapped people. And
            there were cripples, and people in wheelchairs and crutches and it was snowing,
            and I got this sense that the whole city was singing this:
            Oh please don’t pass me by,
            oh please don’t pass me by,
            for I am blind, but you can see,
            yes, I’ve been blinded totally,
            oh please don’t pass me by.
            And you know as I was walking I thought it was them who were singing it, I
            thought it was they who were singing it, I thought it was the other who was
            singing it, I thought it was someone else. But as I moved along I knew it was
            me, and that I was singing it to myself. It went:
            Please don’t pass me by,
            oh please don’t pass me by,
            for I am blind, but you can see,
            well, I’ve been blinded totally,
            oh please don’t pass me by.
            Oh please don’t pass me by.
            Now I know that you’re sitting there deep in your velvet seats and you’re
            thinking “Uh, he’s up there saying something that he thinks about, but I’ll
            never have to sing that song.” But I promise you friends, that you’re going
            to be singing this song: it may not be tonight, it may not be tomorrow, but
            one day you’ll be on your knees and I want you to know the words when the
            time comes. Because you’re going to have to sing it to yourself, or to another,
            or to your brother. You’re going to have to learn to sing this song, it goes:
            Please don’t pass me by,
            ah you don’t have to sing this .. not for you.
            Please don’t pass me by,
            for I am blind, but you can see,
            yes, I’ve been blinded totally,
            oh please don’t pass me by.
            Well I sing this for the Jews and the Gypsies and the smoke that they made.
            And I sing this for the children of England, their faces so grave. And I sing
            this for a saviour with no one to save. Hey, won’t you be naked for me? Hey,
            won’t you be naked for me? It goes:
            Please don’t pass me by,
            oh please don’t pass me by,
            for I am blind, but you can see,
            yes, I’ve been blinded totally,
            oh now, please don’t pass me by.
            Now there’s nothing that I tell you that will help you connect the blood
            tortured night with the day that comes next. But I want it to hurt you, I
            want it to end. Oh, won’t you be naked for me? Oh now:
            Please don’t pass me by,
            oh please don’t pass me by,
            for I am blind, but you can see,
            but I’ve been blinded totally,
            oh, please don’t pass me by.
            Well I sing this song for you Blonde Beasts, I sing this song for you Venuses
            upon your shells on the foam of the sea. And I sing this for the freaks and
            the cripples, and the hunchback, and the burned, and the burning, and the
            maimed, and the broken, and the torn, and all of those that you talk about at
            the coffee tables, at the meetings, and the demonstrations, on the streets,
            in your music, in my songs. I mean the real ones that are burning, I mean the
            real ones that are burning
            I say, please don’t pass me by,
            oh now, please don’t pass me by,
            for I am blind, yeah but you can see,
            ah now, I’ve been blinded totally,
            oh no, please don’t pass me by.
            I know that you still think that its me. I know that you think that there’s
            somebody else. I know that these words aren’t yours. But I tell you friends
            that one day
            You’re going to get down on your knees,
            you’re going to get down on your knees,
            you’re going to get down on your knees,
            you’re going to get down on your knees,
            you’re going to get down on your knees,
            you’re going to get down on your knees,
            you’re going to get down on your knees,
            you’re going to get down on your knees,
            you’re going to get down ..
            Oh, please don’t pass me by,
            oh, please don’t pass me by,
            for I am blind, yeah but you can see,
            yes, I’ve been blinded totally,
            oh, please don’t pass me by.
            Well you know I have my songs and I have my poems. I have my book and I have
            the army, and sometimes I have your applause. I make some money, but you know
            what my friends, I’m still out there on the corner. I’m with the freaks, I’m
            with the hunted, I’m with the maimed, yes I’m with the torn, I’m with the down,
            I’m with the poor. Come on now …
            Ah, please don’t pass me by,
            well I’ve got to go now friends,
            but, please don’t pass me by,
            for I am blind, yeah but you can see,
            oh, I’ve been blinded, I’ve been blinded totally,
            oh now, please don’t pass me by.
            Now I want to take away my dignity, yes take my dignity. My friends, take my
            dignity, take my form, take my style, take my honour, take my courage, take
            my time, take my time, .. time .. ‘Cause you know I’m with you singing this
            song. And I wish you would, I wish you would, I wish you would go home with
            someone else. Wish you’d go home with someone else. I wish you’d go home with
            someone else. Don’t be the person that you came with. Oh, don’t be the person
            that you came with, Oh don’t be the person that you came with. Ah, I’m not
            going to be. I can’t stand him. I can’t stand who I am. That’s why I’ve got to
            get down on my knees. Because I can’t make it by myself. I’m not by myself
            anymore because the man I was before he was a tyrant, he was a slave, he was
            in chains, he was broken and then he sang:
            Oh, please don’t pass me by,
            oh, please don’t pass me by,
            for I am blind, yes I am blind, Oh but you can see,
            yes, I’ve been blinded totally,
            oh, please don’t pass me by.
            Well I hope I see you out there on the corner. Yeah I hope as I go by that I
            hear you whisper with the breeze. Because I’m going to leave you now, I’m
            going to find me someone new. Find someone new.
            And please don’t pass me by.

  9. Love The Who, but Townshend was a cunt for allowing classics like ‘Behind Blue Eyes’ and ‘Won’t Get Fooled Again’ to be theme tunes for that Yankee crime crap, CSI: Bollocks….

    And the greedy cunts who use dead people’s songs on adverts are also cunts… ‘Children Of The Revolution’ by T-Rex on a DFS Sofas advert?! DFS also used a Queen one… I expect Bowie and Prince to be on TV commercials on ITV Shite very soon….

    • Norm, Children of the Revolution makes money for the faceless cunts who administer the Bolan estate. He snuffed it before his will could be properly finalised so his son and partner got sweet fuck all. Google Bolan’s lost millions.

    • Exactly right Norman
      There’s some brilliant tunes that simply get pimped out and fucking murdered for Ads on Tv radio etc……
      was at my sister in laws last year for Xmas dinner and knew I was in for a particularly painful day when I saw 100 greatest xmas hits Cd box !! Obviously not happy to ruin my fucking day by simply taking the chance on Xmas radio she had made 100% sure we had hours of absolute shite to listen to…..
      Virtually all of the above were played, luckily I had taken my dog and went for an extremely long walk ( closest pub) for some much needed respite…… 😡

    • Wasn’t it ‘Who Are You?’ Cant say I’ve watched past the opening credits but that’s the song I remember.
      Behind Blue Eyes is all time classic.
      Wont get Fooled spawned the careers of Alice Cooper and more.

      • Alice Cooper were well into their classic stride before Won’t Get Fooled Again – 3 albums, including Easy Action & Love It To Death… and Killer released just 2 months after.

      • Well it’s certainly up there. if Quadrophenia were pared down to a single album it might just eclipse it.
        Funny how 40yrs ago I used to play Baba and Fooled to the exclusion of the others but now it’s Tune that gets that treatment.
        Same with Zep 4. Going to California has now risen from Isaac obscurity to top of the list. Zep always were a folk band at heart.As for Stairway it is so shite even Planty hates it.

        • 1. A Quick One
          2. Live At Leeds
          3. Who’s Next
          4. Sell Out
          5. My Generation
          6. Meaty Beaty Big & Bouncy
          7. Odds & Sods
          8. Quadrophenia (sorry Willie…)
          9.
          10 Tommy

  10. My personal hatred is the never ending playing of freebird and hotel california.
    Now I love those songs, but not when some fuckwitted DJ who loves sheercunt and a-fucking-delle considers it appropriate to cut off the guitar solos.
    That just causes detonating rage.

  11. This discussion about those who sold out, and allowed their music to be desecrated to the hilt for any and all commercial gain possible is actually making me think of all those great songs/artists who, for whatever reason, didn’t cheapen their canon by doing adverts for Cilit Bang or fucking Twix.

    Not sure if anyone here can remember that period in the early-mid 00s where almost every song from Moby’s ‘Play’ album had been used on some kind of advert or campaign. The bald, beady-eyed cunt may well have made a fucking mint out of that, but he shed his fans by the truckload (the cunt had a fair electro/dance following) and never again had any relevance. Pity, because there were some half-decent tunes on ‘Play’; like ‘Porcelain’ or ‘Run On’. Too ubiquitous to listen to now though, even after many years.

    Looking at my playlist right now, I can only be thankful that Television never flogged their crystal clean, borderline orgasmic lead-guitar driven masterwerks to all and sundry. Tim Buckley is also yet to be plundered, and Devo – ‘Whip It’ aside – haven’t outstayed their welcome after 40 odd years.

    But if I ever hear Marquee Moon used in any advert or promo, I will cut my bollocks off and wear them as earrings. You heard it here first.

    • I just listened to marquee moon.
      If those advertising execs find it, it will be advertising microsoft or apple products immediately. Complete with stripey sock wearing scruffy millenials who wear thick rimmed glasses.
      Sorry mate, it’s just perfect for it.

    • Morning Jack.

      Similarly, I look forward to The Clovers’ ‘Rotten Cocksuckers Ball’ being used to flog Calgon. It would at least be more entertaining than those outrageously shite faux-science interviews with Carol ‘pick me if you lose’ Smilie.

    • Excellent- thanks for reminding me of Wayne County- I hadn’t thought of him/her in 40 years, since reading the late, great CREEM magazine.

      Just as unlikely an advert tune would be the racist hillbilly lament “Damn, I Wish I Was a Nigger.” by Johnny Rebel, or “Nigger Lover” by David Allen Coe. They’re both earworms, and one must be careful if the type of person who sings to themselves while working.

  12. Greetings fellow Cunters and especially RTC for his customarily excellent musical taste. Any thoughts on pre-Utopia Rundgren, sir?

    Can’t fault any of the above cuntings but I would add anything by ABBA and especially Super fucking Trooper and Dancing Elton. Brian May should also be ashamed of himself for allowing so many previously great Queen songs to be used on TV ads.

    But it’s Christmas I truly despise. The same fucking dross year in/year out. All 20-30 of them recorded in a few short years and pumped out relentlessly for 40 years.

    • I have to say that ‘A Wizard, A True Star’ is one of the few albums I almost always listen to from start to finish rather than any individual songs – obviously it lends itself to that anyway, at least first half. A veritable masterpiece with ‘Sometimes I Don’t Know How To Feel’ as my personal highlight.

      • Spot on Umpire! AWATS undoubtedly the prime example of the benefits of dropping a shedload of acid in the home recording studio.
        Too many great songs to single out morphing into each other as they do but if I had to I’ll go with ‘Sunset Boulevard’ with ‘International Feel’ a close 2nd.
        AWATS contains more brilliance almost thrownaway in 60 mins than The Ginger Busker and Addled will ever muster in their entire ‘careers’.
        And to think that the Runt also knocked out two classic double albums within the same year or two. Incredible really.

    • Yo Issac! Go along with all of the above.

      Re: Todd Rundgren – am a big fan of ‘Something/Anything’, ‘Todd’, and best of all his masterpiece ‘A Wizard, A True Star’.

      First Utopia album also excellent, though you’d need an attention span of more than 2 minutes 53 seconds to appreciate its wonderfulness, ha ha.

      Be seeing you…

      • And Yo to you too my friend!
        You’ve nailed it there with those three and of course with the Weasels cover art.
        I hope you’ve got the shitter back in action?

        • Shitter remains fucked, awaiting my Nazi (not the Libtard variety!) heating engineer… having to use a bucket – to flush, not shit in!

          Weasels wonderful in every respect, as are Burnt Weeny and Uncle Meat, the latter recently re-released with original mix + a ton of brilliant extras…

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meat_Light

  13. You never seem to hear ‘the wankers song’ by Ivor Biggun and the Red Nosed Burglars do you?
    And I have never heard ‘Back in the DSSS’ by Half Man Half Biscuit. The Macc Lads are also overlooked.
    Still, we have Mistletoe and Wine. So not all bad.

  14. When the adverts first came out- ‘oh how cute they are’ Mrs Plastic going nuts-(me swept along) off to the zoo to see them, buying cuddly ones. Meercats! Meercats! Meercats! Absolutely done to death. Now I hate them.

  15. Can’t see anyone using Harry Nilsson’s fuck you song.

    PS Anyone who dances gangnam style should be shot dead gansta style. Just sayin’. Cunts!

  16. Off topic, though Cherie has similarities to something done to death…

    I mentioned under the last Blair cunting that Cherie Blair was representing one Ivica Todoric in his attempt to overturn extradition under a Europol arrest warrant to Croatia, where he will face charges of fraud, corruption and forgery of official documents. She’s succeeded in getting a postponement at the High Court to invent (?) new evidence. But here’s the kicker: Cherie’s fees and those of her specialist chum James Hines QC ( £800 a day is average income for a QC but that may bear no relation to what is charged by their firm) will be paid by Todoric, at least in theory.

    But, According to the decision of the Council of the European Union, the costs of implementing a European arrest warrant are paid by the state in which the process is taking place, in this case the United Kingdom. …and HM Taxpayer will be picking up those costs, including hiring an even more expensive fat lawcat, Clare Montgomery (about £1M a year) to make Croatia’s case.

    Yet another good argument for Brexit, no?

    https://vijesti.rtl.hr/novosti/hrvatska/3253993/izracunali-smo-koliko-je-novca-todoric-potrosio-u-londonu-a-koliko-hrvatska-na-todorica/

    In Croatian. Would have linked direct to Google Translate version, but have had problems with long URLs, so if interested, sorry, do it yourself.

  17. Afternoon all.
    Some great nominations here. In addition to the horrors mentioned in the initial cunting, I’d like to offer this additional selection as my personal compilation album ‘Songs To Commit Suicide To; Vol.1′-
    Heebee Geebees, Stayin’ Alive
    Europe, The Final Countdown
    Gary Fuckitt & Union Gap, Young Girl
    Village People, YMCA
    Mungo Jerry, In The Summertime
    Spice Girls, Wannabe
    Rick Ghastly, Never Gonna Give You Up
    Black Lace, Agadoo
    Beach Boys, Good Vibrations
    Abba, Dancing Queen
    Pink Floyd, Another Brick In The Wall
    Scott McKenzie, San Francisco
    Wings, Band On The Run
    Scaffold, Lily The Pink
    Rolf Harris, Two Little Boys
    Terry Wogan, The Floral Dance
    Englebert the Hump, Please Release Me
    Bryan Adams, Everything I Do

    I need a drink

  18. There’s even a done-to-death song from the classics…

    Beethoven’s Ode to Joy. Ludwig would be spinning in his grave

    Freude schoene fuck off Brussels
    Jean-Clod Juncker is a cuuuunt
    Guy Verhofstadt buggers *******s
    Schulz is an evil scrote

    Merkel is a fat old douchebag
    Neil Kinnock is a cunt

    Fellow cunters please feel free to work on this remix.

    Recently, it has given me a great deal of pleasure, and I have also been listening to the Missa Solemnis.

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