Dodgy Syrups

Sad gits wearing hopeless wigs need to be outed immediately. Speaking as one whose own thatch is sadly dwindling with the passage of the years, I can say that I’d rather end up with a ‘Jean-Luc Picard’ any day than walk around with something resembling a dead hamster perched on my bonce. A word to the wise, boys; you’re fooling nobody but yourselves, you deluded cocks.

Nominated by Ron Knee

46 thoughts on “Dodgy Syrups

  1. Fecking wigs,that takes me back to 1976 when as a fresh faced boy i was sat in back of an old Cortina behind an old boy with greyish hair upon which was perched a brown syrup, upon closer inspection the thing was thread bare like a well worn mat you could see the weave but the thing I couldn’t take me eyes off was the brace of dead flies in it along with a cobwebs, that image has stayed with me for 42 years.

  2. Was watching Gladiator earlier, where a Senator puts on a big wig, full head sort of. Now if we went back to that, ginormous curly long talced wig I could understand. Obvious, everyone’s happy. But no, a ginger short back and sides, with the grey join showing. Fucking silly, obviously. But I couldn’t give a shit about going bald so I don’t get it.

  3. I’m always suspicious of male wigs.
    I cannot trust the vanity involved.
    I also can’t get the idea out of my head that it allows the perpetrator the benefits of a disguise.
    Fucking dodgy.

  4. Off topic but…

    That deluded tranny who launched a hate campaign against some dyke professors at her uni. Why because they don’t agree that biological men can be seen as biological women after a cut and shunt job.

    YOU CAN’T CHANGE YOUR CHROMOSOMES YOU STUPID DAFT BINT.

    • And, I have seen more convincing drag queens. Fuck off with your rights for trans crusade.

      You can no more change your gender than I can convince Justin Bieber to marry me without the use of rohypnol.

    • I shouldn’t have looked at that link. Fucking hell, this wimmin victim thing is just going stratospherically insane. Then Billie Jean King, what Williams did isn’t allowed, ok, but it should be, uh, ok, so it’s doubly unfair, uh, you’re losing me now. These bitches are getting a real head of steam. You white blokes, we are going to play every game in the book to bring you down. Quite disturbing.

    • I’ve got to feel sorry for Osaka – her biggest day and her biggest victory, will always be tarnished by the Gorilla in the Mist!

      Inevitably social media will go into meltdown, and the “incident” will become the usual “it was racist”, “it was sexist”, “it was homophobic”, “I am offended” rants by the usual suspects.

      The Umpire will probably have to publicly apologize and cut off his penis for being a white man telling a black woman what to do!

      This will become the news item of the day, and will run and run because it’s an “ishoo I feel strongly about, innit!”

    • She needs an emergency cunting! Never cheated in my life, don’t make me laugh! The outbursts, strange behaviour over the years, and the fact she has more muscle mass than an average bloke all screams performance enhancing drug use to me.

      Fuck that monstrous harridan

  5. Dodgy wigs and comb-overs – don’t the owners not realise they’re kidding no one? In fact it just makes them look a whole sadder not least because the owner will be spending more time hoping his wig doesn’t slip, or a long strand of his comb over doesn’t dangle in front of his nose (especially awkward if he is lucky enough to be going down on someone!)

    Doing Bald, is quite fashionable these days, and no one really gives two fucks once the novelty has worn off. And is certainly a lot cheaper than having a dead cat spread over your crown.

    • Couldn’t agree more. I kept a level-1 crop since my 20s and now in my 40s, the Picard is the way to go. I learned at about 28 or so that you need to work with what you have- fillers, paint, fucking botox, all that shit is vanity at its worst since your youth still slips away, laughing at you as it does.

  6. A little boy approaches his father and asks…

    “Daddy, is it true that you like sucking cock and taking one up the arse?”

    Shocked at hearing this, he asks, “Who told you such a thing?”

    “My other daddy Elton”….

  7. Why is it that multi millionaires always seem to have the worse wigs
    Apart from the fact that they are cunts
    All look like a fucking pantomime dame

  8. Never mind wigs, what about the stuff that some follicly challenged types spray onto their pages to prevent the dreaded (and I quote) ‘scalp show through’?

    I remember meeting a cunt (an allegedly professional type in a brown suit who stank of fags, booze and a decided lack of exposure to soap) who had liberally sprayed this stuff onto his pate. He might have got away with it (if the beholder was Ray Charles) but his sprayed-on camouflage proved unable to cope with a combination of a hot day and high-powered lighting, so much so that after five minutes the daft cunt looked as if someone had poured chocolate milk over his head.

    A syrup would have been an upgrade for that prick.

  9. The cunning comb is a long winding path that will eventually lead you to ridicule, most men suffer hair loss in varying degrees, if you lose a lot probably best to clip it short , the worst thing is growing your thinning thatch and trying to use your comb as a magic wand!!
    I used to work with a man who appeared to have a few dozen strands of hair which he had obviously been growing for sometime, he used to wrap them round and round his head?? He was quickly named WW ( walnut whip) by the lads,
    Any man wearing a wig ( unless required in his profession ) is a cunt!

  10. Does anyone else miss hilariously unconvincing 70’s style combovers?
    Now that having a shaved head is perfectly acceptable, you just don’t see them.
    My old man used to rather resemble Frank Bough with his one, thankfully without wearing all the bondage gear.

  11. Hold the front page. Breaking news.
    Civil disorder in streets and ports lasting months if we get a no deal brexit.
    Scary stuff. This from the ‘National Police Coordination Centre’
    (Can you guess where they are based yet?)
    Pity these cunts cant be out and about in their home city protecting budding architects instead of parroting the Whitehall mantra.

    • Clearly a misprint – should have read “civil celebrations”.

      Another flood of cunts, including vile hags Frances O’Grady (TUC) & Gina Minger on Andrew Marr this morning, pushing the civil disorder /project fear agenda…

      Please Dog let the population see through these 5th Columnist scumbags, hopefully the army (what army?) which they say is going to be on standby will arrest these cunts and escort them to the gallows on liberation day.

      • Kalimera RTCP 😎
        FFS these remoaners just keep looking for the magic scare story
        that will resonate with the masses! All the time these Cunts keep talking about the red bus? Army on the streets etc There’s now a crowd fund to take BJ to court for lying during referendum, well if BJ does indeed end up in court he should have plenty of company!
        Cameron, Osborne and the treasury to start, throw in Goldman Sachs rent boy carney and a whole host of other remoaners who have lied thru their teeth! day in day out since 2016 these fucking hypocrites have deliberately tried to mislead and threaten the population!!
        Absolute Cunts…..,

        • Lying during the Referendum? Well I’ll be damned!

          Never mind, at least they’re all telling the truth now…

          Kaló apógevma Q.

          (I think)

        • Gents, the trick they are missing is convincing us that there’ll be no more facebook after brexit.
          Record breaking voter turnout.

  12. Comb overs are also tragic.

    I once attended a house auction on a gusty north wind day on a north-south street. The auctioneer’s helper was this moth-eaten tweedy little old cunt with a huge brylcreamed combover from left to right over his bald pate.

    He was facing west and as the auction proceeded the wind strengthened; got under the combover, which began to behave as an airfoil. It then rose and fell with each gust for the rest of the auction, much to the delight of the crowd.

  13. Said it before and I’ll say it again, the ONLY timeless haircut for a man is the skinhead. All these fancy girly cuts on a man will be laughed at in years to come. https://goo.gl/images/jyWHAP
    The fact that I’m balding has nothing to do with it of course, and I swear women like a rugged balding man who is not scared to tell them to fuck off.
    Saw that advert with Shane Warne and a load of cunts talking about hair implants etc… What a pile of cunt. You’ll end up looking like that cunt Rooney whose had a transplant at the front and is now balding at the back.
    I want to see more original skinheads (not the later racist cunts) on my travels, cmon you cunts get down the barbers and get a skinhead even if your lucky enough to have a full head of hair. The ladies will love you.

  14. On the advice of the PR firm Labour hired to get him into number ten, Neil Kinnock cut off his comb over and it didn’t do him any good.
    Of course the fact that he was a slimy, obnoxious turncoat bastard traitor might have had something to do with it.

    • “We’re sorry Mr Kinnock, no amount of PR spin is going to brainwash the electorate into making you PM and disguise the fact you are a uppity ginger smear of troll jizz”.

  15. I think it was those PR cunts dressing him up in Armani suits that first gave the gingerbread socialist a taste fo the high life.
    The rest, as they say, is history.

  16. Ex-Manchester City chairman, Peter Swales, had the most obvious and striking ‘irish jig’…. In fact in 70s and 80s Manchester any wig was known as a ‘Swales’ or a ‘Swalesy Syrup’….

    Big Ron Atkinson also had a glaring syrup… I recall John Gidman telling of how on a pre-season tour he saw Big Ron and his bird walking along a beach… A wind got up and Giddy saw Ron’s syrup blow up and then down again on top of his head… Giddy said it was like the roof of a Ford Cabriolet convertible… So then players and even the United chairman called Ron ‘Cabriolet’ and he never knew why….

  17. Another Mancunian wig tale… The Stone Roses were scheduled to play on the Wogan show in 1990… However, the appearance was cancelled… Legend has it that Wogan ducked out because he heard that one of the band planned to pull his wig off on live television…

  18. I was only in my late 20s when I realised that every time I looked in the mirror I had a bit more face to wash.
    Cue the purchase of a set of clippers and instant dispatch of the remaining threads. Man it was the best thing I ever did. No more paying for haircuts on a weekly basis, just blast the clippers over my bonce and ready for action. Good times.
    If I’d stuck with the hair I’d be a doppelgänger for Gollum by now.

    • Most of my hair’s loyally stayed with me to an advanced age, but yes, the clippers are a boon. No more sitting in a room full of chavs waiting interminably to be sheared by a Syrian Kurd/ Albanian / insert non-holder of British passport, and charged over the odds for the privilege. No 4 all over in winter, No 3 in summer,and I sometimes get complimented on the cut too.

      • I find the number 0 at all times most comfortable. It also has the bonus of miraculously preventing others making eye contact with you.
        Most refreshing in the winter months.

      • My barber is a top bloke… A little place in Bury, fiver for any bloke’s cut, and he’s a Brit who hates all ‘that lot’…. His Mrs is a tasty piece and all…

      • I found a barber’s here in Cardiff that, miraculously, wasn’t signed as “Turkish Barbers”… £7- for a PROPER short back and sides.
        Not an eggand / camel/goatfucker in sight.

        Turkish Barber most likely to be some Abu-Sweeny Todd. Surely it’s waaaaycist, anyhow ? If someone described themselves as a Welsh Barber, all hell would break out…

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