I want to cunt fucking boogers.

I just want to sit here of an evening after a long week or two of the brats being back in school. I open the bottle of Pinot Gris and go to clear the nostril. Takes four fucking swipes and I’m still not done.

I think I might have a hanger-on. I’ve tried wiping it on bog-roll, the chair, my son’s sweater and the mutt. I tried to hide the booger inside some curry sauce and the savvy mutt still wouldn’t wrap his chompers around it.

At this stage I’m ready to employ a chain-gang of Doozers to clean the inside of my nostril and lick the hanger-on from my finger.

Nominated by CaliAngel

17 thoughts on “Boogers

  1. I can’t stand seeing people with their digit ensconced in their nostril, excavating for buried treasure.

    Try blowing your nose on a tissue instead. Filthy creature.

  2. Today’s Brexit scare:

    EU research dosh may be cut from Glasgow University Medical School. So says Professor Anna Dominiczas.
    Well you could always ask Wee Jimmy for the money Professor, or you could fuck off back to whatever Eastern European cunthole you came from.

    Today’s scare story brought to you courtesy of the Brussels Broadcasting Corporation.

    • There are only two descriptors the AL-BEEB and Sly New, et. al., know when it comes to Brexit: “because of” and “in spite of”.

      Anything negative (which is usually made up as part of project fear) is “because of” Brexit and anything which is positive (which cannot be hidden or denied because it is public record and reflects the fact of something that has already happened) is “in spite of”.

      Also please note that “because ofs” are always based on future outcomes which are easy to predict – just like the Brexit vote itself, lotto numbers, etc. – and “in spite ofs” are retrospective and therefore cannot be spun.

      All part and parcel of an impartial free press.


    • EU research dosh……. no such thing , it is taken from the gross contribution we give each year , and re distributed in areas we have no say over…ITS OUR FUCKING MONEY TO BEGIN WITH YOU CUNTS…..oh and of course Freddie , plenty is given to the education sector to keep the cunts on side and preaching the superstate tune. the 350 million on the bus should have said 189 million a week , thats the figure and that would have shut the cunts up long ago.

      Anyone see Tom Bradby on the news last night ? after cunty Mrs May got humiliated over there , he says ” oh boy! where do we go from here ! “…. eh wheres the defense of your country and the anger at being spoken to like were a bunch of fucks with no spine ? … oh I forgot , you leftist progressive fucks abandoned any bottle you might have had years ago

      sad sad sad

      • A point I made yesterday evening Squint,
        Bradby (who has just had about 4 months off work with stress) and Peston wetting themselves on News at ten last night. Lickspittle little cunts the pair of them.
        The story having been handed over to Tom in the studio. What is it about our spineless meedja who refer to themselves as “advisors”? They are newscasters FFS. I don’t want the opinion of some leftie common purpose graduate scum ripping the arse out of my country – I want the news. If I want opinion I will tune into a show and listen to those opinions. Patriotism is totally shattered and at pains to repeat, what I often prescribe, is a war – a fucking big kick off followed by a pandemic that takes out half the world – sure, good people will die but those who survive will look back on just how fucked up the world got after AD 2000 and hopefully will attest such and record it for prosperity – on paper using pens – not digitally stored – we are where we are now partially because of our so called educated and enlightened world of technology.
        As my fellow cunter Dick would sign off
        Fuck them.

      • Kraken no. 7 mate

        I was actually trying to make your point but having read mine back i missed it…. its the newsreaders of today who give you their fucking cunty opinions on each story , not just Brexit ( now called bregzit ) but any fucking political story

        i dont want your fucking lefty progressive opinion on the news article cunt , just read the autoqueue and go about your job without smarmy smiles , blowing out your cheeks or raising your eyebrows

        just read the fucking news you cunts

        Ive lost total faith ,and only watch to get the overall gist of the debate, i go elsewhere for the actual facts

        p.s too lazy tonight to correct all the red lines under spelling mistakes , im not actually daft !

    • Just heard Maybot’s speech this afternoon, following her latest humiliation in Salzburg.

      Yet again, fine words… pity they never get translated into action.

      Noticed she slipped in another concession – unilaterally guaranteeing the rights of all EU citizens here, deal or no deal, regardless of how the EU chooses to treat UK counterparts.

  3. Always nice to dig out a hard one and flick it at someone; or if its slightly viscous gently wipe it onto the shoulder of some cunt I really don’t like.

    Of course what is really unpleasant is watching those millionaire footballers blowing their noses on the pitch with one nostril pinched tightly twixt thumb and forefinger, and a long stream of viscous snot spayed all over the pitch; they will then follow with a hacked up piece of gob just to add to the mix. Yet no one bats a fucking eyelid about that!

    There should be a “Pick Your Nose With Pride” day; there is for everything else by the looks of things.


    • I don’t mind the bushman’s handkerchief. What churns my guts though is when Chinese draw back on their nostrils, clear their throat then split the lot as far as they can, grotty cunts.

  4. Depends on the consistency. Those desicated angular ones that have the potential to rip the inside of your nose up like a piece of green shrapnel, managing to carefully tweezer the end of it with your fingernails and extract it like a surgeon, and the relief that follows with a conpletely clear noz tunnel.

    Fucking love it.

  5. A stylish cunting here from Cali, which I’m sure has whetted a few breakfast appetites in passing.
    May I make an addendum cunting for snotbubbles? I hate seeing some scruffy parent dragging a kid around with a snotbubble dangling out of its hooter. There’s a horrible, hypnotic fascination about watching it expand and contract with the rhythm of the waif’s breathing…

    • How about trying the paki comet, the offender holding one nostril and blasting what ever pus infected shit is in the open nostril – over some unsuspecting pedestrian . If not blown from an open cab door.

  6. What a frightfully repulsive subject another’s, the worst ive ever seen was a horse i was shoeing that had a viscous stream of green gravy running out of its beak and landing on the fence like deep emerald green stalagtites before splatting onto the ground, òr it would have if it wasn’t being intercepted by the fecking dog who was eating it like oysters, what was even worse was big dollop on my back and entangled in my Barnet.

  7. Let’s Make The Water Turn Black (edit):

    Now believe me when I tell you that my song is really true
    I want everyone to listen and believe
    It’s about some little people from a long time ago
    And all the things the neighbors didn’t know

    Ronnie saved his numies* on a window in his room
    (A marvel to be seen: dysentery green)
    While Kenny & his buddies had a game out in the back:

    We see them after school in a world of their own
    (To some it might seem creepy what they do . . . )
    The neighbors on the right sat & watched them every night
    (I bet you’d do the same if they was you)

    (Frank Zappa 1967)

    * boogers

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