Teleworking


A cyber cunting to companies that employ Teleworkers
Who the fuck would take a job like this? Like fucking battery chickens, you get an amount of space worked out by an industrial psychologist to be the minimum needed to stop you from going insane.
Next criterion taken into account by the cunts who create these jobs ( Amazon, The Banks, Public Utilities, Mobile Phone service providers etc ) is to analyse where to locate the centres.
No sense in putting them where there’s a minimum wage or competition by way of proper jobs.. put them where the populations only have a two choices;
1. Being knee deep in animal shit and garbage all day long or
2. Being in a place where there’s running water and a roof over your head.

You know that if you satisfy the second choice that there will be an endless queue of applicants who don’t care what the fuck they have to do to get through each shift, or what the wages are.
When you then get away with as many offshore workers as you can before the politicians get angry at you, you start setting up at home in places where there’s only fucking morons left to hire.Leeds, Birmingham, Bradford etc , where they’re desperate and have nothing to do all day.They’re knee deep in a different kind of garbage; drugs and diversity.
Remember how they did that with the Car factories?
Now they’re predicting that a lot of the teleworker jobs will be taken over by robo callers, just like robots gutted the labour forces of that same car industry.
So what the fuck is there left to do once you stop making things and become a country that just fills orders?
Well they don’t need you on the farms, they don’t need you in the factories, they only need you to stack shelves or pull product from warehouses and you sure as fuck ain’t gonna become a doctor.
Back in the 70’s they crowed about the new age being the age of leisure but they didn’t realize that when people sit around all day with fuck all to do , they start to cause trouble.
It’s no wonder that despots bubble to the surface every generation or so, they’re needed to put control back in society whether the control is good or bad doesn’t seem to matter.
Hopefully the next despot puts an end to fucking telework!

Nominated by Paul Ya Plonker

17 thoughts on “Teleworking

  1. In the next 10 years AI will decimate a shite load of jobs.

    In 11 years AI will become conscious, followed by consternation and subsequently registering at ISAC to cunt humanity.

    • A Terminator/Skynet takeover, Blair like a cockroach would probably survive, just a head, half human, half android twitching “Brexit, peoples vote, second referendum…”

      • I agree, reckon that historians of the future, if there are any people left, will view Terminator 2 as a documentary.

        AI and the robots will kill us all.

  2. Superb cunting, and this:

    “So what the fuck is there left to do once you stop making things and become a country that just fills orders?”

    …goes right to the root of everything that sucks about UK plc…or is it UK LLP?

    Have just been reading an excellent paper by Toby Young which I think is relevant to some of your observations:

    https://www.cps.org.uk/files/reports/original/180814101155-TechnicallyGiftedReport.pdf

    With a rational system of technical education, valued as being at least as desirable as academic training (IMO much more desirable – and I’ve had a dose of both) at least we’d be able to design, build and sell the fucking robots!

    • Do I detect an accusation of cynicism? Not guilty. I don’t like Young as a general rule, but I think he makes a good point here, in the direction of facilitating a productive economy – which I have consistently supported, for the little that that is worth.

    • Agree with you wholeheartedly!
      The past 50 years or so has seen this culture looking down its nose at technical or trade education.
      They all want to be Business Managers, Psychologists or Social Workers. This is especially so in the expatriate Asian cultures where they don’t want their kids to even think about a trade or about actually producing something.
      Even the hint of a suntan from working outside is considered a setback.
      It’s our own fault when you consider the old system of Grammar Schools and Comprehensive Schools.
      The Grammar School students were taught to look down on the trades and even classes that they had as a sop; woodworking, metalworking etc. were considered beneath the intellect of the kids being groomed to run the country.
      And so we’ve lost out, because the countries where all the manufacturing is now being done have schools that are churning out engineers and designers by the boatload.
      They give them the basics and then the brighter ones go west to get sharpened with the latest breakthroughs, after which they go back to implement what they’ve learned.
      Meantimes we continue to churn out Bachelor of Arts degrees and Internet Marketing diplomas.
      Somehow or other we have to make technical education as glamorous as learning Greek or studying history because Greek and History don’t put food on the table.

  3. Charlie Chaplin ” Modern Times”
    George Orwell ” 1984 ”
    ” I Robot”

    Prophetic.!

  4. “They will spend all of their time watching porn, masturbating, getting high, getting fat and inbetween orgasms, resting in front of a bit of jeremy kyle.”

    Apart from that cunt Kyle, that pretty well sums me up.

  5. SHARE SELECTION

    “Johnny Depp ‘accuses ex-wife Amber Heard of defecating in their marital bed following a bitter row’ after Hollywood star ‘arrived two-hours late for her 30th birthday’, but she blames their infamous dog, Boo
    The incident reportedly happened at the couple’s Los Angeles penthouse after Heard celebrated her milestone in April 2016
    Housekeeper later ‘discovered fecal matter’ on the bed-sheets
    Sources claim ‘strong photographic evidence’ links Heard to the discovery”
    *****************************

    She’s welcome to shit on my bed anytime she fancies….hell,she can shit on me if that’s what gets her lubed.

      • don’t forget tho’ RTC and DF that she’s an absolute fucking nutcase.
        I was talking to the young kid, who’s a next door neighbour, the other day and he’s still at the age where he thinks there’s no such thing as a fucked up woman. As long as they’ve got a pussy he thinks he’ll be able to overcome any other problem that might ( and most definitely fucking will) arise .
        Oh the innocence of youth.

  6. Interesting transatlantic definition. In Americunt, it just means you work remotely, usually from home. And it’s fucking fantastic. I’m doing it in an hour.

    • In Canada , when it first came out , it was called “extended office link” and then became telework ( a bit different from being a teleworker which is the job I described)
      As an aside , again when it first came out , I worked in a Government Office and every deadbeat slacker applied for it. The so called “rigorous” qualification process was soon sidestepped by the more crafty ones and they would spend their days in the shopping malls or running daycare centres for the neighbourhoods.
      It was a hoot when the rumours began to filter back to the office and systems were implemented to actually monitor what they were doing. They found out that one worker, who was a quadriplegic , hadn’t switched on his computer for 3 months… he got promoted of course.
      Eventually it just died from abuse.. but that’s only because it was a Government operation,in the private world they’da been watching everyone like a hawk.

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