Palace Ultras

Those of you who have visited Shithouse Park or have had the pleasure of the Stripey Nigels visiting your local football ground will have come across these pathetic tossers. If not , you will have seen them, praised to the skies on BBC Match of The Day by Pearce , Linekunt etc.
They are a bunch of about 2-300 millenials who have decided that football is being stolen from the working class and the traditional fans are being priced out and replaced by tourists and rich cunts. Ok, so far so good, can’t argue with that.
Their answer, however, is to imitate the Spanish and Italian cunts they’ve seen on the telly. So they all dress in black shirts ( very Italian but I don’t think they know their history ) They have drums. smoke flares massive flags and cunts standing at the front conducting the constant chanting and singing with their backs to the play on the field. Yes, all very fashionable and continental but what the fuck has that got to do with the British working class at football?
Well, perhaps I should point out that they also have a political agenda. They are “anti-racist”, “anti-fascist” , “anti-homophobia” and , surprise,surprise, pro-EU. If I tell you that when they are playing cunts like Millwall, Leeds, West Ham etc, they have a police escort from their pubs to the ground you will probably get the picture.
Now these little snowflakes have pulled another trick. They have a special season ticket block on the lower right side of the Holmesdale Road end which the BBC love to give attention to on MOTD. Now these wankers have asked the club to give them a block right behind the goal ,obviously so they could be the centre of attention. The club asked the existing season ticket holders if they would move and , unsurprisingly, they said fuck off. Now the snowflakes are threatening not to turn up.
Fuck me, these pathetic middle class knobs have no idea what working class means, or what football was like before the Premier League, definitely not what an Italian “ultra” is and they need to find out the significance of the black shirt in Italian and Spanish history. I often laugh at these millennial arseholes but, sometimes, I weep for them…… ignorant and so brainwashed, Ah well, what the fuck can you do?………a few centuries ago they would have cut my knackers off and burned me as a heretic.

Nominated by Freddie the Frog

31 thoughts on “Palace Ultras

  1. Oh I do so agree, Freddie… I have loathed Pal-arse for some years now… Hated them when they tried to bully and intimidate my team in the 1990 FA Cup Final Replay… They, of course, failed and Mad Les Sealey (God rest his soul), Robbo, Ince, and Pallister gave it them back… I still find it hard to believe that the great Stevie Coppell managed those cunts on that day…

    Then there was 1995… Not only that colossal pus filled gobshite cunt, Matthew Simmons (who said ‘Fuck off home and fuck your mother, you French bastard!’ as he spat at King Cantona), but there was a load of them who were guilty that night… They all laughed along with Simmons (especially that ugly fat old witch, Kathy Churchman)… But their ‘shock’ and ‘horror’ (again, especially Witch Churchman) when Eric (and, to be fair to him, Incey) decided to give ’em some back… And their indignation and hypocrisy when the tabloids came calling with a few quid was so very sickening…. That night (and in its aftermath) the Selhurst scum acted like vermin… A hate filled but then holier than thou mob who still disgust me to this day…

    But now they’re wacky and zany funsters who bang drums and bring a bit of colour to the game? Bollocks! They are – and never not will be – complete cunts and they can get fucked…

    Long Live The King!

    • Would I be correct in recalling that Palace were sponsored by Virgin during the Coppell glory years?

      Cunts of a feather and all that.

    • Coppell was a manager in 1990? Fuck me didn’t realise he’s been managing for that long.

      • Stevie retired in 84… Some dirty Hungarian cunt did him in an England friendly… One of the best wingers I ever saw, and him and Gordon Hill were a great partnership… Coppell built a good Palace side, but they were let down by their dirty tricks in the 1990 replay… It has to be said though that ‘Slippery ‘ Jim Leighton was a useless cunt in the United goal for the first game… Always remember this classic from the United fanzine, Red Issue… Jim was apparently very offended by it and went crying to Fergie… Soft cunt…

        • Also on the day of the replay, at Euston Station, Leighton hid behind his wife while she flicked Alex Ferguson the V-Sign (pure class, eh?)… As I say, Jim was a cunt….

          • I knew about the early retirement but I didn’t realise he’s been managing for almost 3 decades.

    • Kathy Churchman has always maintained that she wasn’t laughing at what Simmons had said, but rather at another bloke ,in the vicinity, who had said something like ‘Shit, don’t pan the camera over here I’m supposed to be on a night shift and the boss will be watching’.So who knows for sure. But there can be no doubt about the cuntish behaviour of Simmons and he got what he richly deserved.

  2. I’m guessing that they’re something like the “Barmy Army” at the cricket. A bunch of boringly unamusing wankers who are more interested in attracting attention to their own puerile behaviour than in actually supporting the team. They couldn’t give a fuck if they’re spoiling anyone else’s enjoyment, acting like spoiled brats having a tantrum,it’s all “Look at us,aren’t we wacky”….No your not you pricks,you’re an embarrassment to the sport and team.
    All of these Cunts who imagine that their self-aggrandising behaviour amuses others are mistaken. Everyone else just thinks that you’re bell-ends.

    Fuck them.

    • Agreed….
      I’ve been in 2 ashes tours and have made sure to be as far away from the ( not so) barmy army as humanly possible!!
      This kind of LOOK US cuntery has no place in sport!!
      It will be interesting how these self titled “ fanatics” go at away games ? Idiots………

      • Always used to want to follow an Ashes tour Down Under and once even got as far as conducting an email chat with “Brett” in the SCG ticket office to ensure I was as far away from the fucking Barmy Army as possible!!

        Then I remembered that I hate the heat and flies of that godforsaken bloody country and the fact the cheating cunty convicts always thrash us there made it so unappealing I didn’t bother.

        And don’t get me started on those “Saturday at the Test” fancy dress cunts.

        • Isaac, it might’ve been a bit different last Winter had we had Stokes playing. Apparently old Thumper was the player the Convicts feared the most.

          • Sadly I have to disagree Captain. Not even Thumper (nice one!) could’ve reversed that margin of thrashing. It all went tits up from the moment the Bairstow/Bancroft non-incident kicked off before the 1st Test. And they had four bloody good bowlers, all in form and fitness.

            Next year will be different. From what I saw at Lords last weekend, Jimmy and co are well up to handing out some revenge, especially if that uber-cunt dwarf Warner is still unselected!

  3. Palace are my local team and have supported them through the few ups and many many downs, the multiple bankruptcies and dodgy owners.

    But this is pathetic, you pay all that money to go to the matches and you spend your time with your back turned and demanding to be able to do that in the best seats in the ground entitled wankers everyone.

    Its a great club to follow and most of the fans are your common as muck plebs who make the ground boom on match days.

    Ignore these cunts as they are not true palace fans and are not real south Londoners either bunch of mincing upper class wannabes . CUUUUNNNNNNNTTTTTS!!!!

  4. Bunch of jumped up upper middle class cunts living off daddy’s credit card who are trying to take the game away from real supporters. Much like the piss boiling Clapton Ultras

    • Yeah, Clapton ultras, another bunch of snowflake arseholes. There’s a sickeningly fawning article about the cunts in the Guardian (where else?) on line.
      There’s another bunch of middle class pricks who have attached themselves to Dulwich Hamlet. Don’t know what they call themselves but they are a bunch of cunts. A friend of mine used to go now and again but has given up after all the tut tutting every time he called the ref a fucking bent wanker.

      • You know, much has been said about commercialisation ruining football and rightly so, but these upper class lefty cunts coming in and trying to hijack the game to be ‘nicer’ whilst looking down their noses at the traditional fans are just as bad.

  5. Bit disappointed with the photo, it doesn’t show their true cuntishness. There’s one on google images (sorry don’t know how to post this link shit) that shows some beardy, skinny little spaz at the front with his arms stretched wide. He has his foot up on the advertising board and……..I don’t know if I can say this……. he’s not wearing any socks!!!
    What the fuck? Who would go to a football match not wearing socks? I’ll tell you who….. some trendy, snowflake, millennial, hipster little fucking wanker, that’s who.
    Fuck knows where these cunts come from, not from anywhere around Norwood that’s for sure. Even the Brixton hipsters aren’t aren’t as wanky as this mob ok ya?

    • Didn’t Man Citeh try to ape the European ultras atmosphere a few years ago with their retarded ‘poznan’ celebration? They looked like a collective bunch of special needs cunts on a day out having a seizure.

  6. The name sounds like the guard of some banana republic dodgy dictator. Personally couldn’t give a fuck about football. Played by overpaid soft cunts. Managed by overpaid cunts, one of whom is ‘special’. Owned by tax dodgers and gangsters. Governed by corrupt cunts. Commented on by utter cunts. It no longer has anything to do with the UK. Seems to be just about enriching cunts and gambling organisations. And of course, those complete cunts, Sky.

    Bring back Cloughie, the Doc, Shanks, real men, real managers.
    Coats for goal posts, ooh, isn’t it.

  7. This is a depressing website. Just when you think you’ve reached Peak Cuntitude… Well, best to soldier on, I expect.

  8. I remember when Liverpool beat Palace 9-0 in the late 1989. Obviously a superb result for the Reds. There was a difference in standards and Palace were thumped by the Red Men.

    Did Palace fans accept it? Have they moved on? Have they fuck. They bring it up every game and use it to constantly sprinkle salt onto the oversized chip on their shoulder.
    I’ve got nothing against them but fucking get over it.

    Oh, also Alan Pardew’s a cunt.

    • The big mysteries of life:
      How will the universe come to an end?
      What came before the Big Bang?
      Will humanity still exist in 1000 years?
      How does Alan Pardew keep getting jobs?

      • He’ll be Brighton manager in February, banging his chest about “loyalty and commitment” before they’re relegated.
        Or Huddersfield. Or Cardiff.
        Like Allardyce, he’s a millionaire car salesman, gulling desperate owners they can breathe EPL air for another year.

  9. Pardew is the biggest cunt in football and, considering the red hot competition, that’s quite some achievement. I must give him a proper cunting sometime, probably when the next bunch of cunts at the bottom of the table give him his next job.
    Anyway the Premier League referee Bobby Madley has retired at the age of 32 for “personal reasons”. The rumour on the football forums is that there is a video knocking about of him fucking a dog. This was started by Leeds cunts because he is a supporter of Huddersfield and they are known as “the Terriers”. A load of bollocks of course and not even very funny.
    My point is these Ultra wankers would be horrified at such a joke and crying into their lattes. They must be jumping up and down with rage at such disgusting filth desecrating THEIR game. It’s just a shame that this Madley cunt isn’t black…….the snowflake cunts would be slashing their wrists at the injustice of it all!!

    • I’ve fucked a few dogs in my time but never one of the canine variety. I gave up supporting football years ago as everyone involved was a cunt and that’s never changed, apart from getting worse. Bunch of cunts.

  10. They still got a smacking from the cockney reds that night and when we religated them in 98 at Norwood

  11. And they are ripping off our men in black…….. Norman, don’t you think they would melt if O’Neill fronted them or black Sammy or bannna Bob?

  12. Give me a rusty Stanley Knife and a room full of these cunts – free artisan facial tattoos for all

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