Alex Salmond’s ‘Crowd-funder’

Well it looks as though ‘ The Alex Salmond Show’ is set to run and run.
The turd that will not flush has now resigned from the SNP to spare the party ’embarrassment’ while he fights accusations of sexual harassment. Meantime, he’s taking action against the Scottish Government to contest the complaints process used against him, and has started up a ‘crowd funder’ so that punters can donate towards his legal costs.
This cunt has a brassneck wider than the Firth of Forth, but given that many saps in the nationalist movement in Scotland appear to have more money than sense, no doubt the cash will roll in. I’ve got a few souvenir Confederate dollars I picked up when on holiday in the States, and he’s more than welcome to these. Or maybe I’ll send him the old nine bob note that’s been lying in the bottom of my desk drawer for yonks, because I reckon the slimy fucker’s as bent as one.

Nominated by Ron Knee

And just to prove what a shed load of gullible cunts there are in Jockland, the cunt hit his target in less than two hours

29 thoughts on “Alex Salmond’s ‘Crowd-funder’

  1. These crowd funders seem like a splendid idea. Perhaps I should use one to fund the replacement of my fucked car’s gearbox.
    I’ll say I’m a transgender peaceful gypo to close the deal.

    • Seriously TTCE that’s not a bad idea, couple of years ago they had some cretin on tv who had crowd funded to get new tits? Big ones at that, mind you listening to the thick cunt a brain transplant would have been more appropriate ……

  2. I wonder if the crowdfunders will ask for their money back if the old motherfucker is found guilty?

    I am just surprised that ageing footballer and knicker modeller David Beckham hasn’t asked the public to fund his forthcoming trial, needed because he is too fucking tightfisted to pay a speeding fine.

    Still, for these two wankers I suppose they get their desire to attract as much front page publicity as possible for themselves.

    • The tattooed twat and his pouting skeleton are between them worth £670m.

      Just pay the fucking fine.

      What attention seeking has been cunts, obviously with nothing better to do.

  3. Crowdfunding is supposed to be for poor people fighting against injustice or to send their sick child to America for life saving medical treatment.
    It wasn’t designed for fat, rich politician cunts to hire fancy lawyers to get their corrupt arse out of the grinder. The bare faced cheek of this wobbly pile of decomposing excrement takes my breath away.
    As for the donors…….. there are no words to describe their innate and irreversible stupidity.

  4. Have to say it’s a cracking wheeze. Want to launch an expensive legal case and get some other mugs to pay for it? Start up a crowd-funder! And if it all helps to deflect the public’s attention away from the main issue of your own possible indiscretions, so much the better.
    Got to admit it, the cunt’s an operator.

  5. This fat, racist bastard was the reason I first stumbled across the award-winning website ISAC. I typed ‘Alex Salmond is a cunt’ into a search engine and the rest, as they say, is history. I suppose I should thank the twat but if I ever met him, the red mist would probably descend before I could speak.

    Frank Field (0 nominations as of now) must be quaking in his boots being slagged off by piss-poor Rik Mayall tribute act Owen Jones (9 nominations and counting)…

    https://mikesplace2017.wordpress.com/2018/08/31/labour-and-anti-semitism-update-2/

    I know this issue gets some people really wound up but I’d just like to say I care as much about Israel/Palestine as my fellow cunters care about Abkhazia.

  6. Alex “Five Pensions” Salmond must be laughing his haggis-stuffed face off at the trolley-boy, credulous fuckwits who’ve donated any money. Any excess will be spent on cheap, Asda whiskey and deep-fried shortbread.

  7. Did I read somewhere that fellow SNP politicians are having their arms twisted to make ‘voluntary’ donations? Hilariously I reckon 90% of them will be doing so through severely gritted teeth given the mutual backstabbing exhibited by these cunts.

    I do hope M’Learned Friends clock up astronomical fees to bankrupt the fucker if he loses.

    Even if acquitted, this has already done irreversible reputational damage to Salmond and if he wasn’t so brass-necked and arrogant he’d be embarrassed at the inevitable whispering that there’s no smoke without fire.

    This blokes downfall is the most gratifying ISAC for years. I look forward to the trial with extreme enthusiasm!!

  8. Well my dogs just layed some early morning cable in the back garden so I’m gonna bag it up and donate it to salmond…..
    every little bit helps 😂

  9. One of the fondest, most enjoyable moments in politics during recent years was the sight of Wee Eck’s face when he lost his Gordon seat at the last General Election. Despite being borderline wank-worthy, I nevertheless was hoping that would be that last we saw of Scotland’s fourth-best Danny DeVito tribute act.

    Regrettably, Wee Eck isn’t so much the turd that won’t flush but the once-in-a-lifetime logger that keeps returning to the pan despite evidently vanishing with every panicked and frenzied pull of the chain. It doesn’t surprise me in the slightest that this prize scumcunt has appealed to the gullible and the gormless for a few bob, emphasising this cunt’s shameless and brass-necked attributes.

    Anecdotes be damned, but every Scottish person I know claims to despise both Salmond and Sturgeon and has little love for the current SNP manifestation. Regardless, there are enough evident cuntlords who support this maggot, in order to blindly foot the bill for his legal case. Of course I hope he is found guilty because he is a cunt of Old Testament proportions; but the double money would be watching his fucking braindead supporters looking as gormless as Salmond did on that fateful election day, realising that their crowd-funding donations could have been better spent on a few deep-fried Mars bars or supermarket cider.

    • TECB, a “Gordon seat” sounds rather…kinky.
      Maybe details will be forthcoming at the trial.
      I hope it is most salacious and dirty in every sense, and that Salmong, being the lard-arse, dim-witted, knuckle-dragging fat swab that he is,
      causes massive and irreparable embarrassment damage to the SNP and wee cuntie Turdgun.

    • Excellent additional cunting, Empire. Hope this toerag gets bummed good and proper in the courts.

  10. With all the grease that’s crossed this cunts palm, not to mention the contract kickbacks and lobbyist “persuasions”, he should have enough lying around to fund his own nefarious activities defence – with enough left over to cover Wankstain’s bill and foot Grief-fell’s reparation payments.

    Any cunt who falls for this fucker’s legalised begging bowl antics is a fool easily parted from their hard-earned!

    I wouldn’t give the cunt the sweat off my bollocks if he was burning alive. In fact I’d donate a gallon of unleaded – from a Scottish refinery o’course.

  11. He’s as guilty as fuck the cunt. I would be interested to see what these birds he tried it on with actually look like. If they work for the SNP I bet they are right fucking dragons.

  12. Crowd funding is the vehicle of choice for cunts. Didn’t Gina Miller and some weirdo plumber crowd fund their ‘standing up for democracy’ bullshit?

    • That was that Pimlico Plumbers cunt, much admired by James O’Shithead. The cunt is shit scared that his endless supply of cut rate, cash in hand Polski plumbers is going to dry up.

  13. Big fat eck is sleekit- he will win the judicial review
    Pish all over Leslie Evans ( Top civil servant – and Cunt to boot )
    He will win court case ( if police Scotland don’t fuck it up before him) and the major donation will have been Wee Nicola !!!!!!
    Infact the only reason it’s gone this far is due to the fact it WASNT HER TITS OR COCK HE TOUCHED !!!!!!!!
    Cunts the pair of them

  14. Crowd funding is the online term for begging, and anyone who does it is a scrounging cunt…

    Hope this is the beginning of the end for Fat Eck… I also hope there is a ‘Julius Caesar’ moment awaiting Wee Burney in the not too distant…

  15. The corpulent cunt has raised just over £94K as I write.

    Talk about a fool and their money. Would this cunt ever put his porky, bloated fingers in his deep pockets if any of his ex-constituents were down on their luck? Would he fuck.

    He is the T2 diabetes version of the Pied Piper of Hamlyn. The Jock rats follow him whenever he whistles his tune.

    I do wonder if his infamously tight-arsed, dribbling cunt of a mate, Sean Connery, has contributed. I would check, but I can’t be arsed to wade through the list of the gormless 3972 contributors. I suspect he hasn’t, being a tight Scottish tax-dodging cunt.

  16. Scots are notoriously tight fisted which makes me wonder if they gave up the donations willingly ?

    • Maybe he threatened to do a fund raising rally in Glasgee and they raised it that quick to keep the cunt away??

  17. A true Scotsman getting others to pay, I think if he new he would definitely win the case and therefore have his costs paid he would make a big deal about paying himself and I think that speaks volumes about the complaints against him…

  18. Crowd funding should not be allowed for ongoing legal proceedings. He is a rich, smug cunt but he’s not Berlusconi or Harvey Wankstain.

    His first question should be do I pay tax on that? The second, can I pay off the bitches with that? The man is utterly contemptible and his fans can’t see through him.

  19. Crowd funding? I know he’s Scottish, but fuck me, that’s taking the piss. It takes some fucking nerve to announce that you’re suing the Scottish government, and then expect the people whose pockets you’ve been raiding for years to get a massive salary, to pay for it. As an elected politician, he’s made more money than the average Joe ever could. So if he wants to sue the Scottish government, he can fucking pay for it himself. That said, I’m sure there’ll be plenty of braindead SNP mugs who’ll happily make a donation.

    • But it’s not the Scottish government he’s suing. It’s for legal defence for a compliant raised by a private prosecution or the police.

      I think a court case would be brought by the procurator fiscal, a department of the Scottish Courts and Tribunerals Service. Fuck sake, what high quality politicians we have…

  20. Salmond is Icarus ascending, it is only a matter of time before his wings begin to melt. Fuck me, the fall will be spectacular.

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