The Jolly Green Drummer

The Jolly Green Drummer.

This down-market, Ed Sheeran ginger-minger look-alike, which dresses head-to-toe in shamrock green, is a monumental cunt, a noisy cunt, a cunt so devoid of imagination that the only thing remotely musical about his desperately sad “act” is the seemingly obligatory ghetto-blasted backing track.
I have not had the misfortune to endure anything so unmusical since that hook-nosed sack of shite Campbellend was espied buggering the bagpipes outside the Liebore Pardee diversity wank-fest in Brighton. Just avoid his patch, opposite the Principality BS in Queen Street, Cardiff.
If I were dictator, I’d allow the Noise Abatement Society a shoot-to-kill permit.

Did I mention that he is a CUNT ?

Nominated by, HBelindaHubbard

however HBelindaHubbard at least he is not a living statue.


56 thoughts on “The Jolly Green Drummer

  1. Times have been hard for Hagrid since the Harry Potter gravy train ended.

  2. Did Forrest Gump (end of the jog Forrest!) fuck a leprechaun?

  3. The workshy cunt needs to get himself a sensible haircut, a shave, a smart suit and a job instead of existing as one of these cunts who are too ‘arty’ to put in a hard day’s graft.

    Not only are indolent cunts like this a drain on resources with their reluctance to put anything back into society, such as tax through earnings, but they are more than willing to try and disturb the peace for the poor sods who do work.

    Cunt could get a job in B and Q, pointing poor punters to the aisle where the stocks of nylon rope, rubble bags and adhesive are kept.

    • Second that Paul. Was on the Guinness last night. Those lamb samosas didn’t mix well either. Got an arse like the Japanese flag this morning and I’m sure I’ve burned a hole through the bog.

      • Always remember to put some bog rolls in the fridge before Guinness and samosas – and don’t wipe it, dab it. T’was said “If the bottom is falling out of your World drink Stout – then you will think the world is falling out of your bottom”

    • Not at all mr M, you are quite right. And those items you list from bnq can be used thus:
      Nylon rope for hog tying the cunt.
      Rubble sack and glue for covering his head and creating an air tight seal.
      Well done mr M, and well done HBH fir this well deserved cunting.
      What a cum gargling cunt.

      • Indeed, if I see this bastard drummer again, there will be fuck all “living” about him.
        Absurd twat.

  4. Having just watched a few seconds of his shite in a video, I can confirm that my ears are bleeding. What is his purpose? Other than making a racket and smelling like the arse end of a rabid skunk.

  5. This cunt has passed me by totally. Certainly looks like a cunt but will not investigate further.

  6. If you can afford a pair of green shoes you can afford a haircut and a bar of soap. Where the hell do you find a pair that colour anyway?

    • Apparently they’re available in certain boutiques known as Shoe Shops.

      • Either you live in Ireland or you’re colour blind. I’ve seen some space age shit in shoe shops but never have I seen a green pair. Not once.

        • Live in Ireland? How dare you! I must be colour blind.

          Then again, I get my shoes secondhand from Age Concern, so wouldn’t know the inside of a shoe shop from a Thai ladyboy’s bunghole.

  7. Never heard of the cunt but he looks in sore need of a fucking good hiding.

    • Completely agree MR
      Most people have to open their mouth before you realise that they are Cunts!! Not needed here!! 1st class Cunt……..

  8. An esoteric cunting, of a class of cunt too rarely cunted these days. Whether in Cardiff or elsewhere, in a city centre you are never more than five yards away from a similar cunt, usually succeeding in drowning out the efforts of a more genuine musician nearby. That the cunts remain in place for longer than five minutes without being tasered, shackled and taken to a police station, there to fall fatally but unaccountably down the stairs/out of the window, is a tribute to:

    (a) Amber Dudd’s response to police shortages
    (b) H&S ensuring that there are no hard corners or openable apertures in police stations
    (c) the insane tolerance of the British public.

    Righteously cunted, HBH.

    • Once saw some scruffy tart blowing a didgeridoo in Hull. Just sat there blowing like a beached fucking whale. I suppose a didgeridoo is the only thing not worth stealing in Hull, so probably a wise choice.

        • Is that a Mr Punch in his pocket, or was he just happy to see you Komodo?

        • Oh Jesus wept (or is that a typo ? Maybe Jesus swept…with a Dyson).

          I remember him from my Naaaarge days.

          I also remember a brilliant, dapper old guy who played the accordion, mostly in the St. Stephen’s underpass, near the old N&N hospital

  9. It’s safe to say by the looks of this dirty looking cunt
    The best place to hide you money in his house is under the soap dish

  10. Apologies HBelinda, off topic

    Shock News: Government have made a logical and (in my humble opinion) the correct decision with regards to these “crack cocaine” electric casino games.

    Fixed odds betting stake reduced from £100 every 20 seconds to £2.

    Betting industry saying this could cost up to 20,000 jobs and make many of their shops unprofitable and may risk closure. Good.

    The logical conclusion to this and the next step must surely be to extend this apply strict limits to online gambling.

    Eye watering fact: Denise Coates (founder and owner of Bet365) was by far the highest paid individual in the UK in 2016, paying herself a salary of £199m.

    Gaming industry of course saying tyat everything is highly regulated, that they have dedicated teams you can call if you think you have a serious gambling problem (I suspect most people who gamble do not think that they have problem), and that they always display the pathetic “please gamble responsibly” warnings.

    Have always thought there is far too much gambling in this country, as evidenced by the numerous betting shops in our town centres and the ever increasing lottery adverts on TV. Shut the whole fucking lot down.

    A few greedy ruthless cunts profiting on many peoples misery.

    • I take your point Willie but on the flip side, any cunt stupid enough to shove their hard earned in these machines, may need to learn the hard way….

      • They might if they thought rationally, but they don’t. It’s their families (if anyone) I feel sorry for.

    • ‘Fraid I’ve got to disagree with you Willie. Nanny Government is getting out of hand. They seem determined to legislate how our lives should be led..eating,drinking,smoking,gambling etc.,they know best.
      I’m aware that a small minority of Cunts can’t control themselves,but why should everyone suffer because of them. If they are stopped gambling this way,they’ll probably just find some other equally destructive way to lose their money. I’ve read some of their stories,and never once do they blame’s the bookies fault,or the government,or the payday lenders etc.Well, it’s not. It’s their own stupidity allied to a government only too keen to,yet again.legislate away the free will and choice displayed by the vast majority who don’t need a law to force us to regulate every aspect of our lives.

      Fuck them.

      • Oh,and the Jolly Green Drummer wouldn’t be so fucking jolly if he met me. A good horsewhipping through the streets of Cardiff followed by a dunking in the River Taff might convince the prick that we aren’t all charmed be “Wacky Characters”.

        • I have to say in the last 5-10 years there has been a massive increase in online gambling as well as bookies opening up and I think there are too many online gambling outlets, to suggest shutting the whole lot down is going a bit far in my opinion but I see the concern. There are so many online betting companies now and they’re sponsoring football clubs etc and they all offer this ‘Free’ £50 bet you can only actually claim if youv’e bet £1000 within five days or something stupid. Anyways if these cunts cant control themselves and know not to spend the mortgage money then thats their problem and they can fuck off. Its odd though that in this day and age of people being skint and job losses etc that gambling and loans etc are more common than ever. In a part of Bristol i know well the bookies open from 9am to abaaaaht 10pm and they have 3 security guards working there all day so you can imagine the amount of money they’re taking in a day.
          I love a bet but I know when to stop, unfortunatley not everyone does and they are the cunts not the bookies.

          • Today’s gambling wants cunting in general. We have gone from betting shops to wall to wall gambling opportunities. The betting companies are bloated with profits which come from us, some of whom have a problem or addiction. I would totally ban on-line gambling and restrict other forms to penny bets. Cunts.

          • Its odd though that in this day and age of people being skint and job losses etc that gambling and loans etc are more common than ever.

            It’s cause-and-effect, surely? The less chance you have of decent employment, the more desperate you are for a quick financial fix.

        • Its a way of preying on the dreamers I guess Komodo. Sad in a way that the weak willed have more temptation than ever.

        • @Dick

          You’re not alone in your thinking. I put forward the same argument for the legalisation of recreational drugs.

    • It’s relevant / interesting, dependant one one’s POV, that Beethoven had grave doubts about the “dodgy lyrics” for the end of his 9th symphony, and was also planning an alternative orchestral-only finale…
      If only !
      Some of the basic material destined for the alternative ending ended up in the finale of one of his late quartets, op. 132.

      When the EU implodes, as surely it eventually will (and probably little to do with Brexit…), I shall be turning to Handel’s Hallelujah chorus to express my great relief.
      And, of course, Georg Friedrich Haendel was German, so the fuckin cuuuuunts can’t accuse me of waaaycism.


      And I bet Ludwig’s piss is boiling…

      • Didn’t know that, HBH. Interesting and relevant both. However, it did give the great man the chance to spread himself with some rousing choral scoring, which I don’t think he often did.

        But I think Jauchzet Gott in allen Landen (‘Be Joyful to God in every land’ -JS Bach, BWV51) suffers less from overuse than the Hallelujah Chorus, and if sung in Hun is easily understood by the likes of Merkel. Longer, too.

        • Komodo, I “rediscovered” Beethoven’s Missa Solemnis recently (can’t really understand how I’d forgotten about it), and that is truly amazing. Helps block out the abusive Euro Ant-Hymn.

          You are entirely right about “Jauchzet Gott” – bollox to that Hun sack of shite, in a language she understands.

  11. What a cunt this fucker is,
    Cunt looks about 30 yet has’nt grown up and does’nt realise that he looks like an old cunt trying to look ‘out there’ and different. No doubt from some posh family and after Uni and 7 gap yah’s he’s realised he is shit at everything and has decided that begging whilst pretending to be a talented musician is his future. What the fuck is this cunt contributing to society? We need to bring back the Workhouse’s and get this great country producing things again. The cunts.

    • You having a flutter on the WC B&WC? I think it will be ze Germans again with Belgium as dark horses.

      • Oh I will be having many a bet on the WC LL. Plenty of Darkies… I mean Dark Horses in the Belguim team. Although a talented squad I think Belguim will bottle it again. At least in the England team some of the Darkies are diluted with Engilsh blood.
        I actually have a strong feeling we’ll do well this tournament and I can see at least a semi final appearance (I mean we are due a decent tournament), probably to do with the fact that expectation is low and Gormless Southgate has picked a young squad. I expect Brazil to mess up and and Germany will as usual go far, my money is on Argentina and England in the final.

  12. Off-piste story, a Japanese train company has issued a grovelling apology for one of its trains leaving a station 25 seconds early.

    “Great inconvenience we placed upon our customers was truly inexcusable”. The board then committed hara-kiri for their eternal shame and shoddy service. Branson you cunt, take note.

  13. Torn on that one. On one hand, stupid or addicted cunts, who have failed to spot that the bookie makes a very nice profit and they don’t, are solely responsible for their own dismal outcomes. But that said, it’s like taking sweets off a baby for the bookie, as half of all cunts are in the sub-100 range of IQ and probably follow the shining example of their equally-dim, pissed-up, Wetherspoons-haunting parents…and I’m not sure I want to make the bookie’s life easy, either.

    How about banning games of pure chance, like the machine casinos and live roulette, and encouraging games which require at least a dribble of skill, and enough maths to work out the odds? There might be a surprising increase in numeracy…

    • How will the Bookies keep all the shareholders happy Komodo? If they cant rely on the simpletons money then the shareholders will be pissed off and they will quit the UK and blame it on Brexit.

    • Like the cut of your jib there Komodo, but somehow can’t see Govt. banning the National Larceny.

  14. Rare sighting of Jordan Peterson on Daily Politics this morning talking up Brexit…

  15. Benedict Cumberbatch is to star in a Channel 4 film about Brexit playing one of the “instigators” of it. I’m sure it’ll be an honest, objective story of the historical decision by the British people and not at all biased and one-sided. Who better to ponce about in costume and tell this unprejudiced story than man-of-the-people Cumberbatch who currently lives in a million pound castle in Hampstead?



  16. Who the fuck is this cunt? He looks like a very shit Jeff Lynne….

    And what’s happened to birdman?

  17. Totally agree with Dick Fiddle here
    Fuckin horsewhipped that’s what most need and that’s before court and the jail
    And very much indeed
    Fuck thum !!

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