The Russky Con

Never for one minute believed all the huffing and puffing over a coupla dead Ruskies in Salisbury. So a few Putin goons wafted a spot orf spy spray over a double agent/dodgy oligarch and his missisky. Par for the course doine me neck orf the woods. Johnson and May outraged and defending the honour orf Blighty? International incident? Fuck orfski. Just a media smokescreen to cover their total capitulation over the terms orf the Brexit negotiation.

Now they have slipped that one past the ever vigilant newshounds orf the media we get reports orf how they are backing orf on their hard line stance, reducing the rhetoric ect ect. Blighty’s defences are fucked, we have no diplomatic leverage and our “allies” have issued their communiques very vaguely in our support and offered to hold our coat in any fight. Needless to say the old British Bulldog no longer has a pair orf dentures that fit so once again, discretion being the better part of value, we bottle it and retreat, the laughing stock orf the world.

Poor old Blighty. Can we fall any lower?

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke

42 thoughts on “The Russky Con

  1. Totally agree. If this is so serious then why is it playing out in the media like a bad soap opera?

    I smelt bullshit the second I heard the “experts” had said it was “almost certainly” a Russian nerve agent.

    Like limply said, if it was, so what? Why is there suddenly this game pretending these things never happen or that some huge offense has been commited?

    Something else is clearly going on here, an adversarial narrative is being created with the most pathetic of excuses. Now I am no conspiracy theorist (most of that stuff is BS), but there is either another agenda here, or (and let’s face it this is more likely) the current outrage/media/moronic zeitgeist has got so bad that people are literally turning into stupid cunts before our eyes.

    It’s the second one isn’t it.

    • If this is so serious then why is it playing out in the media like a bad soap opera?

      Because the media no longer go out looking for stories, or checking them. The media are a circlejerking global business, whose objective is to make money without doing any work. They are wholly dependent on what news agencies send them, and have to work the sparse information in agency releases into stories that will sell advertising.

      The time is long gone when any of the media could be treated as authoritative on anything.

    • The agenda is out the bag now that remainer in Chief the Maybot has called for European unity in the light of the Russian ‘threat’. It is clear what is going on here.

  2. British passport production switched from a British company to a bunch of dirty French cunts. Oh, the irony.

    • Should never have happened, but a requirement of EU membership is competitive tendering across all 28 countries. Surprised it didn’t go to Bulgaria or Romania.

      A good day to bury bad news

      • That’s another 480 million quid going into the EU as a result of this competitive tendering arrangement. Fuck the EU!

        • It’s not the EU that’s the problem here, it’s our fucking government. Can you imagine the germans or french giving a contract to a foreign firm, no matter how ‘competitive’ they were?? Pretty much EVERY rule in the EU is ignored by everybody when it suits them. Oh, except for us Brits, we have a huge army of officialdom that is guaranteed to make fucking sure we stick to the rules.

          • Moggie, understand your view and agree with it.

            BUT, but, De La Rue are British, successful and massive and according to their corporate website, serve 142 countries.

            That’s a lot of cuntries.

            (Forgot to be rude, apologies, slipped one in at the end! Fnarr)

          • Yes our civil service delight in adding additional crap to any eu rules that come their way. Good example was the massive form the Brit farmer had to complete to qualify for months of waiting before they got any subsidy cash. Their frog counterpart if memory serves me right had one A4 form took about 5 mins to fill in then the hardest part was getting the local mayors office to stamp said form. I am of the impression that the term for adding reams of bollocks to eu regs so you can fuck your own countrymen is gold plating. Shit stuffing seems more accurate don’t you think?

    • The problem is people don’t realise how multinational things are, BMW engines for instance are built here as are Ford, Toyota, Nissan and Honda engines, the latter 3 are built here in Blighty and shipped to Japan

  3. Over the last 4 decades , the British Public have been used in secret experimentation by our own elected Governments who have authorized the releases of toxic materials periodically. The experiments on the people have been conducted by Scientists from Porton Down, the UK’s Biological Warfare Centre.

    Releases of substances such as e-coli, Cadmiun Sulphide and even anthrax have occurred in locations such as Somerset and Devon, the Nort East Coast, parts of Cumbria, and the West End of London. Many other areas of experimentation have been kept secret.

    Liberal MP Norman Baker obtained details of over 100 experiments on the UK population over a period of 40 years, ( the last admitted experiment being 2004 )
    The UK Government commissioned 2 Independent Scientists to research the safety issues, and both have reported back stating that no one has suffered as a result. ( surprise surprise )

    However, over 2000 complaints of birth defects and deaths have been unearthed but are swept away in the usual arrogant manner.
    In this post I cite the Sources. Norman Baker. former MP. Gaurdian report. 2002 and PRO. 2002 , 2004 2013,

  4. The country has well and truly had it.

    With fucking cowardly inept muppets in charge we have no chance.

    Britain is now a laughing stock of the world and rightly so, the passport fiasco is just a further shameful example of total mismanagement.

    Our leaders are not fit to govern this country, and should be fucking ashamed of themselves.

    Successive governments in a relatively short period of time through their social experiment and peaceful favouritism have ruined this once great country for ever more, and deserve to be fucking shot for treason for what they have done. Blair first, followed by Brown then May. Then Hammond.

    Fucking cunts the lot of them

    • Too many to name (you forgot Cameron btw), they should all be lined up against the Wall of Cunts and shat upon until dead.

  5. Loved Sir Nige’s fish protest yesterday – tossing some dead haddock into the Thames, next to the HP, off the deck of HMS Brexit.

    • I would have thought more of Nige if he had shoved the haddock up May’s chuff, but there again that is cruel to the poor haddock!

      • If a fish got a whiff of Mays’ snatch, she’d be the first woman in history to have a haddock spawn in her knickers….

  6. I’d go with the distraction-from-Brexit idea, except for one little thing. No-one’s been distracted from Brexit at all. The timing was completely wrong for the announcement that we had once again rolled over with our paws in the air. While the distancing of both the Trump cunt and all our Euro cunt allies from any criticism of Russia indicates that a divide-and conquer tactic has had some success. Now who might be interested in doing that? two answers:
    1. Russia. Hoping to be Made Great Again and hungrily eyeing its old Eastern European fiefdoms
    2. Leavers: a half-arsed attempt to promote the alleged necessity of staying in the powerful and united defensive bloc (sic) that is Europe. The question remains: how did Tony Blair get his hands on the novichok? (Clue: Osborne works for the Lebedevs and Mandelson’s in bed with Deripaska) Now that’s a conspiracy theory I can go with…

    • Fuck me. I haven’t even been drinking. For ‘Leavers’ please read ‘Remainers’ and lock me up in a care home, for I am a demented cunt and the public must be protected from me.

  7. Perhaps all this Ruskie business is exactly as the government says it is but they should ask themselves why so many people don’t believe them.
    It might have something to do with years and years of lying, thieving, screwing us into the ground for the benefit of their rich pals and any foreign cunt with money. Dirty fucking traitors the lot of them. Fuck the cunts.

    • How about the spy’s daughter? She flew in from Russia the day before, and her suitcase was contaminated.? This snippet was published in the DM last week, but was very quickly pulled.
      Was SHE an agent and with her father, would have assassinated a target? Who knows. What I can say with total confidence, is that we will never be told the truth from a politician.

      • The DM’s been publishing a theory a day since it happened. It’s what the DM does. It sells papers.The more the merrier. By now Porton will have a pretty good idea of how it was delivered, and it’s saying fuck-all for reasons which ought to be obvious. No-one else knows a damn thing, and speculation is futile.

        • @Komodo, It’s indeed very interesting. Waking up each day to a new plot, new characters and threats. I love the bit where the story gets pulled very quickly to be replaced with yet another.

        • It is instructive that the official statement actually states the novichok was ‘of a type’ made by Russia as opposed WAS made in Russia. See what they did there ? That’s like saying that the Tokyo Sarin attack was perpetrated by The British Government because the agent used (sarin) was of a type made by Britain.

  8. Looks more like a smokescreen to divert attention away from the Telford snackbar rape scandal. See also, this Ant and Dec drink driv8ng bollocks.

    Good cunting, though.

    • Still sniggering away over the original headline on Sunday,

      ‘Ant and Wrecked’

      And of course that time in 2011 when Ant McPartlin was attacked by a member of the public,

      ‘Ant and Decked’

  9. Firstly the Earth isn’t flat and lots of kids did die at Sandy Hook but there is something not quite right about this Salisbury event. The day after it happened we had a report that the spy and his daughter were gravely I’ll and fighting for their lives. Since then what? Absolutely fuck all not a dickie bird. Why’s that? Why use a nerve agent? A fair few Russians have been found dead here in the Uk but most have allegedly hung themselves. If these nerve agents are so ‘deadly’ why aren’t they in fact dead? Very very odd.

      • Nah,
        That was Michael Hutchence – now very ex lead singer of INXS. Everything Geldof touches seems to die.

    • KGB usually vastly more efficient.

      Some total goons with second-hand, past its sell-by date stuff, didn’t know wtf they were doing.

      Which makes me think of an obvious HMG link, as they are at top of league tables for mind-numbing incompetence.

    • “If these nerve agents are so ‘deadly’ why aren’t they in fact dead?”
      1. Dosage calculated to cause maximum news impact. As likely as any other speculative theory.
      2. They are dead. For all anyone knows.
      3. They were picked up sufficiently quickly to administer the standard antidote for organophosphate poisoning – atropine – and that was partially successful. Nerve gas need not have been suspected initially – the symptoms are similar for much larger doses of insecticides like malathion. Once again, no-one phoned the Sun with full details, and a news blackout on the details is entirely logical.
      4. The poisoner didn’t actually care much if the target lived or died, knowing that permanent brain damage would be inevitable anyway.

      Anyway, do cite your source for that. RIA Novosti, perhaps? Leonid Rink? On Tuesday? Or someone who had just read the transcript and put it on Twitter?

      • Fucking hell Komodo – you know some pretty serious stuff my cunting friend. Do you blog elsewhere? Sharp as a fucking tack 😉

        • Thanks, Cunto! But when a Russian outlet has a good idea about how it could have been us wot did it, a day or two later, the idea’s all over the soshul meeja and I like to track the theories back. No blog, but keep Blair in view here:

          The owner of the site now thinks Russia can do no wrong, and it’s something of an echo chamber there.

          I was once actually treated for malathion poisoning – I’d spilt some on myself, like a complete cunt, and was twitching locally. (Though quite likely that was down to the unhealthy amount of Afghan black I’d been doing at the time.) Local doc instantly knew what to do and had atropine on hand.

  10. “United have moved out of the dark ages“…Yeah, no atmosphere, song sheets, those cunts Boyle and Tufty, coma inducing football, that Mourinho cunt, the Glazers, PC cunts, day trippers, Twitter Reds, foreign ‘lifelong fan’ mongs, and – the crowning turd – a Womens football team …Great improvement on Sir Matt, Big Duncan, Bobby, King Denis, Bestie, The Doc, Captain Marvel and Cantona eh?… Fuck off, you cunts!

    And that helium voiced BBPC slag, Jacqui Oatley, should have her gob filled with cement, the fucking cunt….

    • Have to agree Norman that Jacqui Oatley commentator ruins Match of the day for me, what a cunt she is.
      They’ll get female refs next, God help any poor cunt when the ref’s on her period…probably send 7 players off. The cunts.

  11. There may be much hoo haa and bullshit about this attack but:
    If it walks like a duck
    quacks like a duck –
    Then it’s the fucking Russians. Conspiracies not required. Or was Livinenenko also a conspiracy? We didn’t respond then and this is the result. They are launching cyber attacks, murders and invasions. They are spreading fake news about Nato troops in the Baltic states. Interfering wherever they can. They don’t give a fuck because they know the west cant respond in any effective way. They no longer have the military capability to threaten the west as a whole so they are just pushing away at things.

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