The Clock Change

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Why the the fuck do we put up with this fiasco twice a year? To placate some jock farmers? Fuck that!

Costs millions. Kills people adjusting to change driving.

What a fucking waste of time!

Nominated by Big Steve

23 thoughts on “The Clock Change”

  1. I am a great fan of BST – keep it all year I say.

    I know this would leave Scotland in the dark but, quite frankly, I give not one fuck – the place is a shithole anyway.

  2. I remember when the pubs only opened 12 til 2 on a Sunday dinnertime, getting into a hell of a row with a landlord for ignoring my banging on the door at what I thought was opening time. I’d forgotten that the clocks had changed. It didn’t help that after being ignored when knocking and shouting in the car-park, I’d also actually taken the trouble to drive along and ring him up from a call-box to call him a lazy fat Cunt. Still,it was a Vaux house,if I remember correctly,so I probably wasn’t missing much anyhow,if the truth was known. Their ale was appalling.

    • Used to like the old Sunday opening hours. Would spend the morning rabbiting or pigeon shooting. Then we’d get to the pub about oneish, the dogs would park themselves under a table, we’d give the landlady some of our bag to cook up on darts night, and be locked in till teatime , singing along to the piano which was played by an ancient ex gamekeeper.
      Your mention of Vaux ales took me back nearly forty years. Happy days.

  3. Quite right. I would prefer GMT all year, but BST all year would be fine. Just leave the bloody clocks alone. Mild jet-lag twice a year is pointless. It is not making the hours of daylight more, for Gawd’s sake.

  4. Took me an hour to change all the clocks which don’t automatically update, plus the cooker, microwave, landline phones, alarm clock. Can’t be arsed to change the timers, especially the cunty digital ones that take a week to sort out after any change. Fuckers.

  6. There must be something wrong with my watches and clocks. I voted to leave the EU in June 2016 and WE’RE STILL FUCKING IN THERE!!! 🤬👹👹

  7. There`s only one world time – GMT. We fucking invented it. All other timezones are cunts.

  8. I do a bit of farm work. Can’t see what help changing the clocks does . The stock don’t know that the clocks have changed and still expect feeding/milking etc. at the same time regardless of what the clock might say.

    • Apparently it’s all down to snowflake cunt Chris Martin’s great great grandfucker. This from the un-Independent:

      In the UK, Daylight Savings time was officially introduced following The Summer Time Act of 1916.

      The law followed a campaign by builder William Willett – the great great grandfather of Coldplay singer Chris Martin – and who was a lifelong advocate for Daylight Savings.

      He believed that during summer it would save on energy costs and enable people to have more recreation time outdoors.

      “Everyone appreciates the long light evenings,” Mr Willet wrote in 1907.

      “Everyone laments their shrinkage as the days grow shorter, and nearly everyone has given utterance to a regret that the clear bright light of early mornings, during spring and summer months, is so seldom seen or used.”

      However, the need for increased labour during the First World War is thought to be the main reason the government made Daylight Savings law.

      So, there you have it, a complete bollocks nuisance like we knew it was all along.

      • When their first record (any cunt was aware of) “Yellow” came out I thought it was some cunt slowly letting air out of a balloon via the valve whilst pinching it between their thumb and forefinger.

        However it was Chris Martin apparently and he sounds much worse.

      • This cunt proposed changing the clocks by 20mins or so every fucking week – at least no-one gave that the time of day.

  9. And in other news:
    A transbender creature attempted to use the ladies in a Welsh valley pub. Not dressed as a woman but self-identifying natch. Kicked out by landlady and banned. A hate crime was reported to the police who didnt seem impressed.
    There is hope.

    • Just one quibble from me Cuntflap. I am not a smoker but it has to be said that smokers put far more into the NHS than they ever get the opportunity to take out. Which is more than can be said of fat bastards and 3rd world scroungers.
      Jeremy Cunt is aptly named, and the cunt with the rocket passed me by somehow.

  10. “…and on the eighth day did God moveth his clock backwards sost that He might enjoy an added hour of sunlight. And he saw that it was pointless.”

    OK Cunters, don’t get your pagan panties all in a bunch. It was a joke. A parody. A silly story. A metaphor…not meant to be taken literally. God doesn’t need a clock.

    Besides…Lennon and McCartney not withstanding…there aren’t eight days in a week.

  12. It won’t be long before we have “Look at Me Time”

    Oh fuck it…we already have !

  13. When it isn’t for the benefit of the farmers (a lie exposed by Mr. Fiddler, above) it’s for the benefit of the kiddies. We have to get up an hour earlier to ensure that Mrs Douchebag doesn’t crash the SUV transporting her pustulent offspring to school of a morning on account of she can’t drive in the dark. Notwithstanding that school hours are considerably shorter than anyone else’s. There is a simple solution, universally ignored, which is to shift school opening hours a bit.

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