Business Development Managers

Business Development Managers…..are cunts.

You’re not a fucking Business Development Manager, you’re a Salesman. You’ve always been a Salesman, so call yourself a Salesman. And you’re a cunt.

Take your shite of a £24k a year (plus commission bonus obviously) salary, your turbo-dog shit Ford Mondeo, your £39 Primark suit, your £1k+ a month rent on a house of which you don’t own a brick, your bullshit ‘holiday’ to CenterParcs where invariably you’ll be surrounded with other ‘Business Developing’ cunts, your bang average missus who’s no doubt getting ‘rooted’ by her fitness instructor as I type and lastly take your complete and utter nondescript existence and do the honourable thing…………cunt

Nominated by Cunting Ballbag

35 thoughts on “Business Development Managers

  1. If anyone is getting blocked by Google from using this site try using the search engine DuckDuckGo. It works for me.

    • It seems the problem has been a DDoS attack on the server. Other sites on that server have suffered the same problem.
      From the stats, it doesn’t seem to have been targeted at ISAC specifically.
      Of course, the server people won’t admit it but that seems to be the case.

      It’s not a google or other browser problem. Chrome, silk,safari and naked browser all reacted the same way. Ditto Windows and OSX so definitely the server end that has the problem.

      Seems OK this morning but could flare up again until they sort it. Nothing we can do from this end.

      • Hows this one for a job title “key boarding skills team leader ” that was what was on a letter i had from Barclays a few years ago. Whats wrong with head typist ?. Why do they love the word “skills” so much and who the fuck wants to work for a firm that calls its staff “digital eagles” how are they better than the old “analogue eagles” , cunts. My local Tesco has something called a “community fecking champion” how fucking embarrassing.

      • Thanks very much, Admin, for all your efforts.
        Greatly appreciated, and relieved to hear we aren’t being targetted…

    • This is a new Tommy Robinson video which illustrates relativism perfectly:

      If a newsreader was attacked live on air even 20yrs ago (at the dawn of our 2nd Dark age) it would be world news but nowadays you don’t hear a peep, especially – as in this case – if the perpetrators are migrant scum fresh off the “fleeing for my life” asylum seeker boat (yeah right).

      Relativism is why Darren “fucking” Osborne was named before he even reaching the nick, decried as a right-wing Nazi and was tried on terrorist charges, whereas the Manchester and London Bridge culprits weren’t named for almost a fortnight, absolutely were not terrorists and it had absolutely nothing to do with “peacefulness” – just a couple of misguided misunderstandings. And “Peaceful” rape gangs – all across Europe – well, that’s just cultural isn’t it.

      In lawless societies (where many of these migrant “gifts” come from) they only understand survival and if they want something they’ll just take it or in turn have it taken from them. It’s all they understand.

      So they undocument themselves (as they’re fucking villains let’s face it) get on a lilo, paddle out 2ft to be rescued and shipped to Italy en-route to here.

      O’course we’re baaaad people for not wanting lawless scum in our country because in the rose-tinted glasses of an emasculated western society they’re all “lovely” and we should feel “sorry” for them all.

      Well I don’t! They can fuck off and they’re not coming here!

      Cameron set-up stations for true war-torn Syrian refugees and asylum seekers where they could be documented and relocated in a sensible and considered manner.

      Those cunts (mostly sub-Saharan Africunts) couldn’t even spell Syria let alone lay claim to have been there and yet they are ferried along with all of the rest of the world’s flotsam heading Europe’s way.

      And now that they’re here, do the authorities come down on them and eject them for any kind of minor infringement – no – they are excused as it being a misunderstanding, or cultural, or not knowing our law on such things.

      However, once the minor infringements started to be ignored, the migrant “gifts” then started to escalate these infringements into more and more unlawful acts and at each turn are excused and appeased by the authorities more concerned with being deemed “wacist” as they are in protecting their own citizens.

      So now you have rapugee and/or “peaceful” no go zones all across Europe which are now unpoliced and therefore lawless. If you go there and something happens to you then that’s “your fault” as you were warned what it was like there but – and this is the thing that really sticks in the throat – if you defend yourself against one of these “gifts” then you WILL feel the full force of the law.

      If nothing else, the bit in the video at 3:00 really cheered me up. That’s how we should be treating these unwanted interlopers when they start getting leary!

      Fucking scum!

      • They are trying to redefine the term refugee now to include economic privation so in future simply being poor makes you a legitimate refugee. It may seem irrelevant to the cunting topic at hand but it is actually connected. When some grandiose salesman cunt calls himself a Business development manager they are attempting to change the language to redefine themselves as something they are not. Same as rapey economic migrant scum are being redefined as refugees.

        • No they are economic migrants and have absolutely no right whatsoever to be in any country of their choosing merely because they can simply get there!

          Appeasing, SJW, neo-liberal snowflake types can redefine all they want, that will not be how these cunts will be recognised in law, they are economic migrants and a lot of them untrustworthy, lawbreaking scum – pure and simple.

          Why can’t those SJW cunts see reality for what it is!?!

          True asylum seekers are grateful for being given sanctuary in the country that will have them and treat them as equals. And most true asylum seekers want nothing more than to return to their country of origin once it is safe to do so.

          Faux asylum seekers, refugees and economic migrants (call them what you will – it’s the same fucking thing IMO) arrive with their hands out, grab whatever they can and show their gratitude by breaking the law, terrorising the locals and never want to go back to their country of origin because of all of their former misdeeds and warrants for their arrest – facts handily lost along with their documents which prove that they are 38yrs old (rather than the claimed 14) and are wanted for tribal slaughterings/raping back in their own shitholes!

          But no, not wanting that kind of scum over here is baaaad and “wacist” isn’t it! Cunts!

          And will the same appeasing, SJW, neo-liberal snowflake types feel the same angst – when these migrant “gifts” commit robbery, murder and rape – for the indigenous victims? Why no, because they was clearly just a misunderstanding and/or was just a cultural thing – they didn’t mean it did they!

          And then – to add insult to injury – they’ll be out, banners waving away, hands wringing in support of these rapugees should the authorities even dare intimate that they’re going to boot them out of the country! Utter cunts!

          • 100% agree RWAC………..
            nice posting CB
            Unfortunately bull shit work handles are part of modern life,
            If a cunt working in subway for £ 6.25 an hour can call himself a sandwich artist What hope have we got?
            Today every cunt appears to be a consultant of something or an analyst of something or another,
            Some cunt who pulled a dent out of my car was apparently a technician?
            To be honest I don’t care what these Cunts want to call themselves as long as they do a proper job and don’t try to overcharge me………
            My pet hate is business speak, if I hear touch base, blue sky thinking, thought shower or let’s run it up the flagpole my fuckin head starts spinning ……..

          • No, I mean they are trying to redefine the legal definition of a refugee as defined by UN 1951 convention to include people from poor countries. Of course, that nice Mr. Soros with his open society foundation have their filthy mits all over that one.

            Also, I’d take issue with your assertion that asylum seekers are gratefull. Wasn’t that shitstain who blew himself and 22 real people up in Manchester last year the son of Libyan asylum seekers? And the arse wipe who attempted to detonate a bomb on the London underground; wasn’t he one of the “child refugees” we took in after that cunt Lord Dubs successfully conflated taking in bomby rapey middle aged men posing as children with rescuing 4×2 kids from the hands of Hitler?

        • Whilst Londonistan carries on being the rat ridden shithole that it is, rapefugees keep filling it up and cunts like Lammy, flabopotamus and the swivel eyed lunatic support them nothing will ever change. Most of the Hampstead / Islington libtard luvvies need to find cleaners and au pairs for a fiver an hour cash in hand. Londonistan is soaked in illegal donkey fuckers and goat botherers. Its how it keeps working. I am just waiting for liebour to suggest that all illegals get a free pass and automatic UK status – and I don’t think its far off.

          • I feel very sorry for Polish nannies…

            Have to look after obnoxious little Sperm-of- Satan kids, then probably get messed around by the cunty mong of the house – Hugo, Oliver, or Jamie…or some such poncey name.

  2. Nice cunting ballbag! People these days have to have a fancy title. It is intended to impress. BeforeI retired, the Home Office were swamping use with ” Business Strategists” which is another salesman type but higher. A Strategist basically tells some poor fuckers to go out and do as they are told regardless of the crock of shite they peddle. Cunts, irritating useless fucking cunts.

  3. the old BDM’S! we never had one until recently, we were one of the top performing outlets, rather pricey in fact and not that busy.
    so the powers that be employed someone to improove sales, slashing prices, increasing volume of sales only thing is we are now on the “underperforming list” massive sales and low proffit to the point they started to talk about letting people go.
    obviously they are not familiar with the term “Busy fool”

  4. No need for discussion or debate or more information. BDMs are fucking cunts, they were cunts when they were sales man, and they are cunts now.

    Our has said to me on more than one occasion “what do you think the M stands for”. Cunt.

    Motherfucker? Cunt


  5. Yep salesmen pure and simple.

    I’m certain titles like these came up because of bosses being too tight to give folk a raise so they’ll give then a more important sounding job title to keep them doing the same job…

    “So that raise in my basic and 2% extra commission per sale we talked about. When’s that actually coming?”

    “Ah yes I’m glad you asked. Well the thing is we see you being far more than a salesman and so we were going to offer you the position of Business Development Manager.”


    “Yes we do. Of course there’s no raise associated with it but it is a definite step up the ladder.”

    “And what would I have to do.”

    “Well pretty much the same as now but obviously you’ll need to sell more now that you’re a manager. You know, keeping up with the new job title and that!”

    “Yes. Yes of course boss. Thanks.”


    Chinless cunts!

  6. Not sure what these cunts are. Have had ‘consultants’ foisted on me and they are invariably fucking useless. Just bullshit management speak with no ability.
    Interesting fact: the NHS spends 100s of millions on management consultants and an independent report says that not only do they not actually improve operations but they generally make them worse.
    Councils, civil service, government, businesses all use these fuckers at huge cost and any worker can tell you they are pointless and obstructive, So why the fuck do they exist?

      • The term consultant, in a lot of cases is a means of avoiding paying your income tax. It used to be you could quit your job as an employee but continue to perform the same role for the same company but now do it as a consultant. The company saves money as they no longer have to pay NI contributions, pension, sick pay and holidays so they can pay the consultant more. If the consultant has set themselves up as a company they can pay themselves a small nominal salary, which they have to pay income tax on but the bulk of their income comes in the form of dividends which are taxed at a lower rate than income tax. The companies earnings attract corporation tax, but again this is considerably lower than income tax.

        But then the inland revenue introduced IR35 legislation in an attempt to stop the practice but there are ways round that too.

        A prime example of this cuntery are the cunts who work for the BBC. They set themselves up as a “production company” and the BBC commissions their company to make programs. They are still spouting the same shite as they always have done and on the same shows but they no longer technically work for the BBC. Its all a fucking tax scam and your licence money is paying for it.

  7. Excellent and well deserved cunting. I once had cause to speak with a number of people who had attended a ‘business’ seminar and when I asked them the nature of their businesses ( ie,what does your business make and who do you sell it to?) they all said they were ‘business development managers’. Turns out there wasn’t a widget made by any of these fuckers. The thought then occurred to me, if they were so good at developing businesses why they fuck didn’t they develop one of their own and retire at 40. Charlatan cunts.

  8. Education Centre Nourishment Consultants = Dinner lady
    Front Line Customer Support Facilitators = call centre worker
    Media Distribution Officers = paper boy
    Gastronomical Hygiene Technicians = dish washer
    Petroleum Transfer Engineer = petrol pump attendant
    Customer Experience Enhancement Consultant = Shop Assistant
    Highway Environmental Hygienist = Road Sweeper
    Mortar Logistics Engineer = Labourer
    Transparency Enhancement Facilitator = Window Cleaner

    All the above are genuine, if barmy job descriptions. It’s all worth a good laugh but there is a serious side to all this. It is all part of changing language so you can no longer call something by it’s real name, you can’t call a spade a spade anymore, which is political correctness. And a cunt.

  9. Reminds me of the 1980s when every other cunt was a so called financial advisor.
    I didn’t need financial advice from someone driving a car even shittier than mine….

    • Yes… but… I once refused to buy double glazing. Bloke pitched up in a 7 series beemer and spent the first 30 mins telling me and the mrs how much alimony he paid. I thought “fuck that, I’m buying windows, not paying for your fucking lifestyle”.

  10. New job offer as the Summer season approaches. Consultant engineer to the regions largest supplier of inflatable boats. Wife reckons it is too hot in Libya during summer so I’ll be on my own. Fantastic package Abdul’s inflatables know how to look after their staff! Get to work with all sorts of people very tempted. What do you think?

    • Worked for them last year. The local manager’s insistence that the boats deflate completely after two hours in the water rather went against my old-fashioned love of craftsmanship, and, for that reason, and no other, I resigned. You may find a Kalashnikov handy, but great job!

  11. Oily spreadsheet nerd who thinks in business bollocks…

    Mind you, I gather the Blair pays better than 24K for this class of suit. And the TBI isn’t a registered charity, btw. A limited-by-guarantee pretending to be one.

    Veering slightly off topic, did we notice that Tony had been given another award, by the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library Foundation – effectively a local Chicago museum, but sounds much grander – ?

    For: “reat strength of character, individual conscience and unwavering commitment to the defining principles of democracy” in a lifetime of service in the spirit of the 16th president of the United States.”

    No, it’s not Bizarro Tony Blair, but the real deal.

    • His commitment to overturning democratic decisions which he doesn’t like more like. Corrupt charlatan, snake oiled CUNT!

  12. In my last job (as a franchisee) I was appointed a business development manager.

    The first considered my business as some sort of fucking charity, and would suggest that I do things where the financial cost or marketing far exceeded the financial benefits. Refused to answer whether he would do the same with his money, and refused to cooperate. Last time I met him refused to shake his hand when he offered.

    He was fired I assume because he was a useless cunt, and that all other franchisees ignored his demands. Subsequently found out he was found guilty of grooming young girls online, and was detained at her majesty’s pleasure.

    The second business development manager was ok initially but then started with the fucking spread sheets, and ridiculously unachievable “year on year” growth targets. Also had the fucking nerve to say that he/the company had some reservations about personal matters in my life. Felt particularly angry as I had disclosed to him in the strictest confidence a couple of minor family problems I was having with. Also he did this in all seriousness, as at the time of him making the call he was in fact living in a tent in a field, his wife kicked him out after had been caught shagging one of the girls at work and. I promise this is true.

    The last time I met him (and just before I quit) he seemed surprised when I told him to fuck off out of my house after suggesting that I worked for nothing for a year and “divert my salary in order to maximise sales opportunities (company profits).

    He was not at the company about a month after I finished for reasons I never found out, nor cared about.

  13. If a BDM was any good he would have developed his own business and made a fortune. Instead, he advertises the fact that he can’t do that and is, therefor, a cunt.

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