When is a sport not a sport?

I’d like to nominate “snowflake sports” for a cunting.

We all know the joys of snowflake cunts pissing around atop plastic broomsticks on 5-a-side pitch pretending to play the imaginary game Quidditch from Harry Potter (football/hockey mixture with a child’s toy stuck between your legs), Pod Racing from Star Wars (basically a dodgem car drag race on a straight track – no bumping!) and Tron’s “Deadly Discs” (two cunts throwing Frisbees at one another, wearing full body padding, helmets and goggles – just in case they melt) but now – as covered by our very own Snowflake Central liberati spewing machine the ABBC – we have “Mermaiding”, and yes it is exactly what you would imagine!

Sad cunts wear a pull on mermaid’s tail and then swim by flapping their legs up and down. That’s it.

The objective: to swim like a mermaid. So who wins? The fastest cunt? The cunt who swims the furthest underwater? The cunt who swims the longest distance?

Well the objective of who wins (as with all snowflake endeavours) wasn’t so much to find the best (because “best” and “brightest” are baaaad words in modern society) but to be inclusive and will probably be based on the very subjective notion who most embraces/resembles the motion of a mermaid in full flow.

Hmmm, so what archive/library footage of mermaids will they be referring to when making these assessments? Splash? A Disney cartoon?

No doubt there will be points for artistic impression too – which would explain why their outfits were as garish as any Rio carnival costume rather than a perfunctory black or blue colour.

No surprises then that the cunts in flake central want to make it an Olympic sport (to go alongside pole dancing no doubt – yes also to be an Olympic “Sport”).

Well let me tell you now – snowflake cunts – there’s already an Olympic swimming discipline where you legs are together and you flap them up and down, it’s called the butterfly stroke and you use your arms as well and it’s all about who is the fastest, i.e., the BEST over a given distance because that’s all any (normal) fucker cares about in a real sport!

So instead of inventing/recreating imaginary sports why not just try and get better – or at least participate in –
real sports. Oh but that’s right, real sports have a definable objective and that’s baaaad because it identifies the best (and “best” is baaaad in an “inclusive” flake society isn’t it)!

Triggered? Then please feel free to paddle off to any fucking safe space of your choosing. The shallow end is 👉 way!

Fucking snowflake cunts!

Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt!

45 thoughts on “When is a sport not a sport?

  1. But if snowflakes insist on shit like gender neutrality, then why is this ‘sport’ female exclusive?

    Another example of non joined up not thought through thinking no doubt?

    As you say – “fucking snowflakes”…

    • Unfortunately it isn’t Dio.

      The picture above shows ladies but in the ABBC report men-folk were doing it too.

      Well, I say men-folk, chances are it would attract the type of bloke who would be gender-fluid!

    • A few years ago you would probably find young girls of 5 or 6 doing something similar in their back garden, not teenage girls egged on by an audience!!
      V Funny ……

  2. You can add hitting a ball with a stick (golf), driving a car around a track (f1) and throwing pointy things (darts).

  3. What in blue blazes is this snowflake cuntery?

    ‘here transgender elf type person, please look after my unicorn while I strap on my mermaid tail and splash around in the pool like a total snowflake cunt’

    What a bunch of cunts, tell you what why not invent a new sport combing sailing and javelin and call it mermaid cunt harpooning or something like that.

    Honestly I had thought I had seen it all, but no, the level of cuntery knows no depths.

  4. This sort of shit has been around in schools for years…..non-competitive sports where everyone gets a medal. I know of a school where snowflake kids spend their PE lessons walking on treadmills with their shitty music plugged into their ears. They also do things like, Pilates, dance and “movement”…..anything to avoid coming second.
    No wonder almost every Olympic medallist we have comes from a Public School. Only the proles have to do this Snowflake shit. Only the Proles have to dress up like dead fish. Only the proles have to have lessons in “gender identity “. Load of fucking bollocks.

    • Parents have the opportunity to stop that crap. I won’t hesitate to get involved if I hear my kids school do anything like that. And if my kids express an interest in mermaiding or hobbyhorse showjumping I shall be making the hard choice for all concerned.

    • When he was there My sons primary school had a sports day every year.

      Even the kids who tried to get out of the usual PE lessons were expected to turn up for sports day otherwise their house team would be deducted points.

      To see the little fat fuckers struggle to complete the 100 metres and then burst into tears for coming last really made for a most perfect afternoon.

  5. And the cunts stopped dwarf throwing, catching the javelin, heading the shot putt and the crack dealers 1 mile dash – we need a hunger games / purge night – to cull these snowflake millennial libturds. No wonder Barnier, Merkel and Macron think we are a bunch of foppish cunts easily walked over. Considering clipping our Royal Marines to a level where they couldn’t manage a pub in Blackpool. Boils my piss.

  6. Rugby in the winter. Cricket in the summer. Anything else is just fit for poofs. The fun we used to have as kids deliberately passing the ball to the weedy kid while playing rugby and then crunching the weak Cunt into the mud…or deliberately bowling directly at the four-eyed geeky kid while playing cricket…Oh, happy days.
    I suppose they’ve got to come up with new “sports” these days,most kids seem to be so soft and fat that anything more than an agitated waddle into McDonalds seems beyond their physical capabilities. Perhaps a new sport could be introduced where normal people are allowed to poke fat children with sticks and shout abuse at them until the porkers get rid of some of their beef. I’d happily participate in that.

    • Yeah you learned to “man up” pretty quick at school when I was a kid and a lot of that was during sport (when we used to train with the year above us).

      You either gave as good as you got (or at least showed willing) or end up being the go-to target for the rest of your school life.

      It’s called survival of the fittest.

      Good job Darwin isn’t around now, he’d piss himself!

    • I always turned up at PE with “i forgot my kit “and ended up looking danny blachflower on a bad day plus i was ginger lol

    • I remember a spectacular hockey “bully-off” during PE…
      After they’d done their bit with the sticks, the ball was ignored, and Barracloughie suffered.

      Fortunately it all took place about 100 yards opposite the local hospital.

      • Similar incident at one of our school hockey sessions.

        For years the best of friends, Rosenbloom and Paskin (both very studious and not in the slightest bit sporty) suddenly went for each other after one accidentally hit the other in the mouth with his hockey stick.

        Everything stopped and we all watched whilst they fought with each other. Eventually stopped by the hockey coach.

        Not sure whether they ever reconciled following this bizarre incident.

  7. All well and good these “sports” not very diverse thou, not one dusky ethnic in any of the vids. Burka hobby horse hmm… dirty Abdul in a tail? Looks like a case of racist discrimination to me.

  8. A good mate of mine from Glasgow has a son who at the age of 13 entered a school talent contest.

    He spent weeks writing jokes, practising their delievery and perfecting the act.

    I vividly recall how proud my mate was at how his then 13 year old son had really put a good act together, of course he would say that but that’s not the point.

    So come the day of the talent contest arrives he delivers a performance that apparently had the audience in stitches.

    The rest of the acts are performed and then the school Head gets on stage to announce the winner…….

    And the winner was……. Everybody.

    So actually it was nobody as normal People know that’s not possible.

    What a steaming pile of cunt.

  9. I remember having to dive into the pool while wearing pyjamas to rescue a house-brick off the bottom of the deep-end. Never really understood the benefit of that…not really a lot of chance of a brick drowning while you happened to be having a kip at the municipal pool.

      • I remember diving into the 12’6″ deep end of the pool to rescue the brick. In pyjamas as well. For the Bronze Survival if I recall correctly.

        We had a nasty cunt PE teacher at school who fancied himself as Doyle from the Professionals. He was a spiteful shite with a curly perm and a ‘tache.

        He was a wrong un as I recall him standing at the end of the boys shower entrance playing pocket billiards. Eventually the cunt lost a front tooth playing the 6th form boys at rugger. Happy days.

      • I worked in Liverpool in the early 80s. I still go back to visit my alloys and car stereo.

  10. The only good thing about this latest vacuous activity is that the fuckwits cannot reproduce whilst dressed in a mermaid/merman “99” cuntainer.

    A “99” as in, “Stick a flake in it”

  11. I wonder, if anything can be a sport and it’s the taking part that counts…
    Then what about sex, and porn?
    If people are impressed by a sub 10 second 100 metre dash, then I would say the market demand is in place.

  12. If taking offence was a Olympic sport we would clean up. A 4×4 relay race with the first team to get to their safe space, no starting pistol of course this would be a micro aggression too far, maybe a tannoy with “Brexit means Brexit”, “There is no third gender” or The Donald yelling “Build the Wall!”. No winners podium or gold medals, maybe a nice ‘Everyone’s a winner’ trophy made from sustainable materials.

    • “Arrrr, and in the ‘Run, Hide, Tell!’ relay the British Team are quite clearly favourites – even after a wobble in the semi’s where Lucious Pinkerton-Cuthbertson nearly failed to dial 999 on his iPhone almost allowing the 4th seed New Zealanders a spot in the final.

      Pinkerton-Cuthbertson has been dropped in favour of Kai Smith-Otembulu who’s sporting an Android.

      Big changes at this late stage of the competition, and hasn’t gone unnoticed by the 2nd seed US team who they face in the final.


      • The starting pistol could be fitted with a silencer. Then painted bright pink to look less realistic…

  13. Japanese Mrs Stroker always tells me that the British are the best in the world at sports they can sit down at.

    Equestrian (not a sport in my opinion), rowing, cycling etc.

    • Equestrian (not a sport in my opinion)

      Respectfully suggest you try it before you knock it. Wish I had inherited a fortune, which unfortunately is a condition of entry, and had been able to pursue it. Great fun and (often) fit women abounding.

  14. Remember many years ago a female golfer complaining that they were not allowed to enter into the men’s competitions.

    Male interviewer suggested to said female golfer perhaps not a bad idea, however that would take probably mean that the men would then be allowed to enter the women’s tournaments.

    Female golfer suddenly went very quiet.

  15. We’re all PE teachers from the 60s and 70s sadists? Certainly was at my school. One particularly nasty Welsh cunt, Mr Davies, was evil on the sports field but then looked after our welfare in the changing room by watching to make sure we all had a shower.

    • Mr Williams was a right nasty pick on the little ones cunt (liked to call himself ‘Bulldog’)…. He got his when an older boy known as Big Billy Wynn decked him and the bullying cunt was off for months… We then got Miss Kendall… The fittest teacher I ever had… I don’t know how she ran with those tits… All that Me Too bollocks? I’d have given my United season ticket (even then) and my Jam albums if she’d have jumped me and had her way…

    • We had s sports master with the surname John or Johns. Pretty sure he was Welsh and that his brother played rugby at a very high/international level.

      Rugby twice a week, always first sessions. Held by the river about half a mile from the school. Always seemed to be very cold and often foggy.

      He used to regularly inspect whether the boys (circa 11/12 years of age) were wearing underpants under their shorts. Anyone wearing them received the slipper.

      Was this normal practice in the early 70’s or was our games master some sort of fucking pervert?

  16. Funnily enough our PE teachers were cunts and had a thing about kids in showers. I can remember one of the male PE teachers bringing his newborn child in to show around in an effort to gain sympathy votes as at the time the female headmistress was busy trying to convince girl’s parents not to make their complaints official.
    Personally got out of the lesson myself by being a really really poor aim with a javelin and spreading quite a lot of fear.

  17. Indeed, when is a sport not a sport? This from those BBC shithouses:

    It’s almost time! Who will take the men’s #SixNations crown?
    It all starts on Saturday, live on the BBC. Excited?

    The MEN’S Six Nations? What the fuck is that?!!! I dare say there is a butch as fuck Femstapo rugby tournament, but it is not and never will be proper rugby! These libfuck mongs go on about things being ‘non gender specific’ (Morgan Freeman, you fucking
    Dixieland Zip-a-dee cunt!), then they call one of the most prestigious events in the sporting calendar the ‘men’s’ six nations?!! Get to frigging fuck, you PC appeasing Beeb scum….

  18. More sport related BBC dogshit…

    Little-known Man Utd stalwart honoured

    Former Manchester United trainer Tom Curry, who died in the Munich disaster in 1968, is being honoured with a commemorative plaque on the home he lived in.
    Alison and Charlie Bell found out the little-known United trainer lived at their house and talk to BBC North West Tonight about his life in football.

    Well, Tom Curry has been honoured at Old Trafford for six decades: his name is on the Munich Memorial Plaque under the clock and also in the tunnel that the players come out of on matchday… Tom is still highly thought of in the Salford, Stretford and Newton Heath areas (my granddad knew him and Bert Whalley)… So ‘little known’? Yeah… But only to don’t do their research clueless numbcunts like the BBC… Fuck off!

    • And it was the BBC fucktards that put Tom died in the ‘1968’ Munich Air Crash…. That’s a direct copy of what the ignorant pricks wrote… They really are fucking cunts…. It was probably that thick cunt, Jacqui Oatley… Cunt…

  19. Just another instance of the infantilisation of absolutely everything. And see HG Wells, The Time Machine, ch 3 onward.

    Come on you Morlocks…

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