Friends in need and needing friends.

I’d like to cunt friends. No, not the shitcom american tv show (that’s here http://is-a-cunt.com/2010/04/friends/ but needs much more cunting) – I mean all my friends and the idea of friendship in general.

If you have an affinity for a skill or sport, count on your friends to suck away all your precious time. When your opportunity has gone, so will they.

If your friends have emotional problems, lo and behold, here they fucking come.
If your friends have financial problems, lo and behold, here they fucking come again.

If you’re dumb enough to step in and help with a friends’ life problem, life threatening boredom and thanklessness will ensue.
If your missis is hot all your mates will be disrespectful wankers.
Fucking god help you if one of your mates is getting divorced.

When I was younger I had plenty of friends. Of course, being young means that most of your friends will by default be arseholes anyway what with their fractuous squabbling, need to borrow shit and tendency to let you down all the time.
It has taken me decades to peel these timewasters off. It’s been difficult. It would seem the better you do for yourself and the busier you get the stronger their vampiric grip becomes.

Fortunately having kids helps. I think the first child strips away about 50% of them. Despite diminishing returns, by the third or fourth one you’re well on your way to the utopia of fucking-none-at-all.

I think that people who need friends are obviously unable to cope on their own, and so seek a symbiotic link in order to bypass nature’s survival of the fittest filter.
People also seem to need friends so that they can enrich their lives through them. Just like the fungus ophiocordyceps unilateralis.
The requirement of friends is an outward manifestation of neediness, weakness, and selfishness.

Consider the peculiar phenomenon of people trying relentlessly to be your friend with no stimulus or response from you whatsoever.
Consider the artificial gathering of friends that goes on in soshul meeja.
Consider the inability of the majority to do anything at all by themselves.
Friends and friendship are utter, utter cunts.

Nominated by Cuntflap.

88 thoughts on “Friends in need and needing friends.

    • Ok, rumination over. As mentioned in a previous posting, I can count ALL my friends on the fingers of ONE hand. That includes best, middling & indifferent.

      Thing is, “I vant to be alone”. The wife excepted (reckon the cunt occasionally checks up on my posts).

      And wouldn’t want to be without everyone here on ISAC, of course!

  1. Excellent and probably contentious cunting. Can I be your friend? Friends also don’t seem to realise that both you and they change with the years, and what attracted you to them/vice versa might well be repulsive in the light of greater life experience. And the synthetic social-meeja ‘friend’…sells advertising and nothing more.

  2. Excellent nomination and so cunting true in many respects.

    There are way too many books to read, records to listen to, films to watch and pubs to visit now I’m retired, than having to spend time with so called friends.

    Two blokes whom I was proud to call mates suddenly fucked off when I kicked the boring, money-grabbing wife into touch. Wonder if they had designs on her? They were more than welcome as she bled me dry, in more senses than one. The cunt.

  3. Never trust friends or family. Given the right circumstances they will always let you down. I have a wide range of acquaintances,some of whom probably consider me to be a “friend”. I let them think this because it benefits me,and I know perfectly well that if it suited me I would take advantage of their naivety.
    Most people are far too nice and trusting for their own good. Although it’s not something that I’m proud of (nor ashamed,either),I’ve used the mask of friendship to connive business on several occasions. I’ve also used “friendship” to get in the pants of more than one of my “friends” wives/girlfriends.
    I truly am a “nasty piece of work”, but I suspect that I’m not the only one.

        • I assumed that you already did. The late night phone calls from a clearly inebriated. pensioner demanding that I stop “granny-goosing” as they wait for their pension in the Post Office convinced me that you already had my number,although seemed to be labouring under the impression that my surname was actually Head.
          If it’s not you,I wonder who it is? Oh,also be aware that I shall call the police at the merest hint of you appearing over the horizon to visit.

          • It wasn’t me who left that previous post Dick. My account must have been hacked. I would never have referred to you as Mr Fiddler, as you so cleverly sussed.

            Once (when talking to a ‘friend’ behind your back) I did refer to you as Fiddler, but have never used the epithet Mr.

            As for all those inebriated late night “granny-goosing” calls, it can’t have been me cos I suffer from ‘Telephone Phobia’. I know who it was though, but am sworn to secrecy – Willie threatened to take away my coloured crayons if I ever let on to anyone…

          • You absolute bastard Shitcake

            I told you not to tell anyone. No coloured crayons for you anymore. Ok

  4. Fucking right.

    Men should be misrable with no friends in this shitty culture, just like my hero, Red Foreman from That 70’s Show.

    His wisdom is amazing, saying things like “he’s a dumbass” and “why would you want to be friends with 17 year olds, they’re idiots”.

    Most people are morons and I don’t want any of them for friends.

    Fucking great cunting.

  5. I know exactly what Cuntflap means. When I was in my late teens and twenties I hung around with a whole crowd of lads. We’d go to the football, played snooker, had teams in leagues playing pub games. Over the course of time some of them drifted away. Some moved to other districts, some got married and stopped coming out, some I fell out with. Eventually I realized that although I was ready to do anyone a favour, some of them would quickly disappear when I needed help. I decided that I didn’t need fair-weather friends and began to weed them out, one by one. I ended up with two mates who I thought were genuine friends and the three of us knocked around together.
    The inevitable happened. The two became one and the one became none. Each one ended up doing something that I didn’t consider friendly, something that I wouldn’t have done. So I thought ok, I’ll fucking do without. I stopped going to the pub four or five nights a week and saved my money for more important things.
    Friends are fine until the time comes to prove their friendship. All I wanted were people who were willing to meet me half way. There are very few like that.

  6. Yep, friends just keep on giving. Just found out that another one has decided he’s “on the spectrum”.
    I am so fucking grateful to the fates for giving me the heads up. Now to spent time formulating caustic wit and insult bereft of empathy.
    Goddammit.

    • Fucking hell, ‘on the spectrum’? That just means “I’ve got a medical excuse for being a bit cunty”.

      A real needy cunt at work has been playing that card recently, cos his kid has Asperger’s, therefore he needs sympathy and is definitely also “on the spectrum”.

      Reality is, he’s as socially awkward as you can get, a real annoying cunt who doesn’t pick up on hints to fuck off. He took my latest “hint” immediately though, changed his behaviour toward me and my cunt brethren, and is now playing the popularity game, ironically, seeing as I couldn’t care less who likes me at work and the more he plays, the more likely I am to win.

  7. My wife has many friends.

    Have met them all and they seem pretty decent. All Japanese. All living within a 20mile radius of where we live in East Anglia. Several of them are bloody lovely. Often helping each other out, sharing each other’s problems, and meeting up and or going out regularly together.

    She often tells me that I have very few friends, and that this is a weakness of a failing on my part.

    Told her I very much disagree, quite simply I have got to the stage where I prefer to be on my own. Basically a miserable sod who cannot be bothered to be polite or make friends just for the sake of it.

    All through my life have always considered myself to be fair and reasonable, and willing to help anyone however realise that efforts in the main have gone unappreciated. So have given up to all but only a handful of people.
    .

    • Japanese lady friends, sounds lovely. I’ve always wanted to go to Japan to the national car show in Tokyo to see the latest models.

      When I could have afforded it, I never went as I thought i would struggle with the food. Maybe one day, though getting on a plane nowadays doesn’t thrill me. Don’t like playing peaceful passenger roulette.

      • As a strict veggie food very hard for me when in Japan. Indian or Italian only pretty much.

        Japanese girls stunning, if lucky you will sit next to one on the plane.

        In 2010 wentto Ginza and sat in a few Nissan GTR’s which atthetimecost about £40k!!

        • Something about a beautiful Japanese woman in white stockings standing with a nice car that warms my heart and I would happily accept one seeking asylum.

          Always loved the GTR’s, Skylines and the old Z’s.

      • I went on a two week tour of Japan. The cleanest, safest country on earth. Everyone is uber polite and older people are treated with very high regard. They respect their monarchy and snowflakes do not exist! Out of the cities the country is very rural . No somali’s, asylum seekers, mosques etc.

        Would happily live there.

        • Apparently we could learn a lot from them when it comes to public transport. Trains run bang on time with no delays unless someone calls it a day and jumps in front of one.

          Think it could be a nice place to live if not for being on the ring of fire area subject to quakes, volcanoes and tsunami’s.

          • Japan is an interesting place but it isn’t Utopia. There are plenty of rude unfriendly people there, just as there are everywhere. One thing I learned, only ask women for directions. They will answer politely. And the train systems in large cities are brilliant but the further out you get, the more you’re reminded of home.

          • Japan is just the most brilliant place I have ever been to. Wife’s parents live near Hon Atsugi which is about 45 minutes out of Tokyo. Close to Yokohama.

            People generally extremely polite to foreigners. Incredibly disciplined and as Kravdarth says respectful of their elders.

            Transport absolutely fantastic throughout, few years ago purchased a two week bullet train pass which enabled us to travel up to just north of Sapporo in Hokkaido and right down south to Kagoshima in Kyushu. Average lateness of bullet train approximately 6 seconds.

            The country is not nearly as green and beautiful as England however the people more than make up for that.

            We could learn a tremendous amount from the Japanese. Clean, functional, respectful, fun (most people seem to have a smile on their faces), fucking ingenious ideas, however understand from my wife’s friends that it is far harder living there and much more effort is expected of you. As Kravdarth says absolutely no snowflakes though.

            No benefits system as here, no work, no payout. A NHS system similar to here but patients must pay on delivery, and will receive 70% of the cost back. Foreigners must have travel insurance. Hospitals run like clockwork, my brother in law needed attention when there, appointments timed to the minute.

            Foreigners represent between only 1 and 2% of the population, and are expected to integrate. Bad or poor behaviour not tolerated. Low crime rate, police tough on offenders.

            Remember back in 2002 when at the World Cup in Sapporo (England vs Argentina). English fans urinating in the streets in full view of the police. Fucking disgraceful, really ashamed to be British that night.

            Would highly recommend Japan as a holiday destination to everyone. People who say London is busy are wrong, A sleepy village compared to Tokyo. Never seen so many people in my life. Shinjuku at night is absolutely amazing. And the girls are HOT and amongst the most beautiful in the world.

            Mrs Stroker this week asked whether I would like to live there as her parents are not getting any younger. Seriously tempted.

          • Willie, if your missus wants to move there and by the sound of it you love the country….then do it.

            For me there used to be three disadvantages, not speaking the language, earthquakes and high fost of living. Now there are only two, as even Tokyo is now cheaper than London.

            The UK is in the pan ready to be flushed round the U-bend, Meanwhile, Japan will become less crowded in the next few decades due to falling birthrates so it will be even better.

          • @Willie Stroker,

            You failed to mention the preponderance of dirty fuckers quietly jacking off against girls and ladies on the subway.

          • Shitcake, they have women only carriages on some trains for that reason. When it happens it is because the trains at rush hour make sardines in a can look like they’re swimming in an ocean by comparison. Having said that, I never seen anyone rub up against a woman on the train or metro when I worked in Tokyo years ago or when on holiday last year.

            Like Willie mentioned Japan really is an awesome place. It is a sensory overload but it an enjoyable way.

            If i could speak the language I would move there to live. Even though you can get by as an ex-pat, unless you speak Japanese or have a Japanese girlfriend/wife you will never get immersed in the culture and the life.

            Truly one of the best countries in the world to visit even for a hoilday.

        • Errm, sorry to be a cunt and interfere with the eulogising about how lovely the nips are, however nice the japs seem to be they were also responsible for unit 731.

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unit_731

          Do not click on images unless you have a strong constitution. Human experimentation at its zenith, nice folks those japs.

          • During my dozen or so visits to Japan I have drawn the impression that many older Japanese people are ashamed and not proud of some of the things that happened all those years ago.

            The next generations were not told of past atrocities, my wife is 47 and most if not all of what happened during the Second World War has been kept from her.

            I suppose there are many, many countries that which have leaders who have inflictedterrible things to people at one time or another however when visiting a country I can realistically only judge a country’s people on my own personal experiences of today and not the actions of a few from several decades ago.

            I suspect many older people who were around at the time may have a very different opinion to my own, and for the reasons you highlight I can fully respect.

          • @Mike Oxard

            Unfortunately easier said than done Mike.

            I have two daughters from my previous marriage. Youngest daughter travelling the world at the minute, well qualified, very confident and will be fine. Currently working in Australia for a global company.

            Eldest daughter (aged 29) has never got over the death of her mother when she was 10. Does not get on with my wife at all. Has not behaved herself particularly well in this respect, plus has made some poor life choices. Lives about a mile away from us.

            Think if I were to leave for Japan she would feel that I have abandoned her, as she has no other immediate family in this country. Until she is more settled do not want to have that on my conscience.

            Also spoke to my 12 year old son, who is reluctant to go. Whilst he has been many times and can speak Japanese fluently he thinks he would struggle if at a local school there as his written Japanese is not yet good enough.

            Would love to go tomorrow if I could, can rent out this house and live easily on the rental income.

            Depending on the rate of exchange, Japan can be cheaper than the UK. For the traveller around ¥200 to the £ happy days, at ¥120 not so good.

            Will keep you posted.

          • Willie, I hadn’t really thought that through about family.

            Good luck anyway with whatever you decide.

    • Am I the only one to have noticed that Japanese girls on xhamster always make really sexy noises when they’re getting aroused? Fucking turns me on! Does Mrs Stroker do that?

      • Francis

        If you like the Japanese girls you really need to go onto the Japanese sites, and not bother with any of the others.

        Answering your question generally ( to save Mrs Stroker’s blushes) to my limited knowledge most Japanese girls share this characteristic.

  8. I could write a book on this one, god help some of you if you ever get struck with circumstances that impact you physically, mentally or financially. You stand a good chance of being slowly dropped and forgotten about.

    If you are on medication for your condition that scores alcohol off your menu or leave you unfit to drive your car, you could well find yourself left behind. See how many cunts help you out, getting you to hospital & doctors appointment’s etc.

    If your medication is so aggressive that you have side effects like periods of screwed up memory, slurring of words, confusion, constant tiredness…you could see yourself left behind.

    If your income is impacted and you can’t afford to do the things with friends you used to do…Bye, bye.

    Will be interesting to see if things change once I’m recovered, however I’ve seen the light on so called friends… Fuck ’em !!!

    Earlier in my life, I served my time in a trade while living with parents and I was never done doing jobs for every cunt at short notice, all hours of the day. Minute I got my first house and needed these people to ply their trades at my home.

    I could never get any cunt to do a job for me, cunts always too busy and heard every excuse under the sun.

    As for cunts at work, they only get in there to find out what’s wrong with you and when your coming back in the quest to be the champion of the gossip in the workplace.

    As for neighbours, biggest cunts of all, cunts now want to speak after years of ignorance. See how long it takes them to get to the “work subject” such as “oh I’ve got to work late this week as XY is off, are you not at work today”?

    What do you think cunt?, you normally watch me drive off each morning, I didn’t today / this week / month / year. Don’t try kidding me that I could have slipped out past & returned later without you noticing.

    “Oh, I saw your blinds weren’t open / your grass is two feet high and your gardens full of weeds and “we” (the cunts collective) wondered if everything was alright “…..Fuck off nosey cunt, unless you wanna go get me milk and bread at the shops…thought not.

    Don’t expect to get any of your mail back that goes through your neighbours letterbox unless its a bill which will get put back through anonymous middle of night or once you go out to the doctors or hospital.

    I lost shit loads of mail that I bet got opened, read, then binned, burnt or shredded. Sadly you only discover its missing if you get a second letter. The thing is that I often get mail for another neighbour and I highly suspect its those cunts who get mine, especially as the cunts can’t look you in the eye.

    Royal Mail complaints process is a joke, having an automated phone system with no option applicable to the problem…my postman’s a cunt who spends more time sorting his music out on his mp3 player / phone than looking at the addresses on the letters.

    Once a national treasure and highly regarded service provider, Royal Mail is now in the ” cunt gutter” with BT & British Gas to name a couple of others.

    • Forgot that I was there for all the cunts when their previous wives went out shagging about and their marriages went down the pan, leaving them fucked.

      I never bailed out leaving any of the cunts suffering though.

    • Thank you bob, I had written the original cunting without your point of view, despite having spent 6 months in a room myself unaware there was anything wrong.
      You are totally right of course, further proof friends are cunts regardless of perspective.

    • Having good neighbours is incredibly important.

      We have been incredibly lucky in this respect, and I would trust those people living either side of me greatly. One neighbour visits once a week and we discuss world matters over a cup of tea.

      Watching out for each other’s properties when out or away and have keys and contact numbers in the event of emergency.

      We also have a great postman who has been in for dinner (to talk about his pending divorce). Did not mind listening or offering advice as he seems quite vulnerable and not entirely sure what to do. Happy to help as he provides us with a great service.

      People generally though are selfish arseholes without manners, and you are better off ignoring them completely rather than wasting time and making an effort.

      Excluding those on this site of course.

      • On the neighbours thing, as soon as I went off work, I became the sole drop point in the street for the parcel force, DPD, ups, Hermes etc. My hall was like a sorting office for near two years without hardly a thanks.

        Didn’t go down well with some when I stopped this following surgery. Firstly as I couldn’t get out if bed and down quick enough and secondly I couldn’t lift things anyway.

        We have had a bad run of Postie’s, our long serving one retired though at the end I think he was so fucked that he just gave the mail to number 1 and expected it to sort itself round the houses. He also told someone round the corner in passing about the amount of mail that a large law firm sent to me, provoking them to ask me questions about said deliveries.

        Next cunt fucked my new letter box, she constantly pulled the flap full up to insert junk mail, spring broken inside now and can’t get spares so now it flaps like fuck in the wind triggering my dog off thru the night. Sellotape isn’t going down well with them now.

        Now, I’ve got dopey cunt, wired to the moon as well as his mp3 device.

        Must be due a good ‘un.

          • Cheers for the tip, I will give it a try. The door gets the wind full on most of the year. Its a strange size compared to ones I can find on line and I’m not up for cutting a larger hole in a relatively new door. I will get to it but £30 is better spent elsewhere just now and its ridiculous that other sizes are £12 – £15.

            Maybe one of my absent friends will enlarge the door slot for me 😀 😀 😀

      • That’s funny Willie – I pop round to my neighbour’s house every so often too, ostensibly for a chat and to ‘put the world to rights’ over a mug of tea.

        My real motive though is to cop a look at his wife, who I reckon secretly fancies the fucking long-johns off of me!

        I do feel quite guilty however, cos he’s a really good bloke – you couldn’t wish for a nicer neighbour.

  9. Fuck me, this is all a bit dark innit? Some cunt is gonna top himself in a minute.
    Liven up you miserable fuckers!
    Sausage and chips for tea !!! 😁

  10. A superb and thought provoking cunting.

    I’m of the ethos that I will always be really good to people who are good to me. I will go out of my way to help them, advise them, make time for them etc.

    However, over the years I have learned that if you help people and treat them well, oftentimes they will abuse the friendship. Some people see it as weakness and an opportunity to take advantage. The old addage of ‘give them an inch and they take a mile’ really applies.

    Yet, those self same people often have friends or acquaintances who use them or treat them like shit and they still go back for more. They would never ask favours or demand time and effort of these scummy friends yet have no hesitation in treating their decent friends like doormats.

    It’s almost as if humanity is programmed to abuse or be abused and very often be giving and receiving it at the same time. (I’m sure there is a joke in there somewhere). So, a friend who takes liberties with some friends will also allow his other friends take liberties with him.

    Now, I give people few chances to prove they are good’uns. If I sniff out a wrong ‘un I kick that so-called friend to the kerb..pronto. Same applies to fake friends who talk a good book but in reality are shifty, untrustworthy, selfish ( insert a thousand adjectives here).

    Mean what you say and say what you mean…..otherwise fuck right off.

  11. Luckily i don’t have any friends at all going on 8yrs now and for the most part im very happy with that.

    Spent most of my 20s suffering from mental health problems exasperated by copious amounts of alcohol and drugs, leading to basically falling out with everyone lol. But now medicated and much more chilled i still don’t miss any of it .

    All the poncing around doing same stupid shit just got very tedious . I love read to learn mainly history or scientific based subjects and with friends i couldn’t have had the time or the capacity to have grown myself to the point i am now at.

    While my old friends are just a load of over grown man children in early 30s a snorting coke dressing like twats and retweeting buzzfeed articles in a positve manner….

    • Could be worse Sheriff, it could be Bitcoin and all this cyber money malarkey they are twiter feeding around.

      Bad enough trusting banks with unknown staff etc with your money but how people can trust computer generated money that isn’t linked to “pounds & pence” or that you can’t hold in your hand, wallet or pocket astounds me.

    • The problem with not having many friends is that the friends you DO have think you’re weird for not having more! I like the friends I’ve got, and I want to keep them… but I’m not going to acquire more just so the friends I have think I’m not weird… I’m a bloke and all my friends are women, which might explain a lot…

  12. Me, I’ve always been a loner. Prefer going to concerts or movies by myself. I have books and music and ISAC to keep me entertained and Arsenal to keep me unhappy. Did have a few friends earlier in life but they got ditched when I moved to Los Angeles for 20 years.
    Very very happy being friendless.

  13. Emergency cunting for ‘Cheddar Man’. Apparently DNA from the bones of some cunt from the old days has been analysed and it has been ‘proven’ that we in the UK are all descended from, or, once were, mud people.

    Of course, Al-Beebera are ecstatic in their reporting of this story of dubious provenance. The cunt reading it on the news I expected to do a Partridge style ‘needless to say, *I* had the last laugh’.

    I would follow the money and find out who funded this research. Because this all sounds like leftie propaganda to me to make us better disposed to our currently resident effniks and the tens of thousands trying to batter their way into the UK on a yearly basis.

    • Well of course and you can bet Cheddar man wore a dress and took it up the arse. He was also highly intelligent and therefore would have voted remain if he had been around today.
      What we would call a fucking cunt.

  14. I have 3 friends. 2 are Staffordshire Bull terriers and the 3rd is called Mark and lives in Capetown. The dogs are with me all the time and I see Mark every few years when we go on drinking expeditions in South Africa or Namibia.
    Works for me.

    • I’ve got a few close frienfs,mostly men as other women on the whole do not seem to be comfortable being friends with wonen unless they can look down on them somehow. It has got difficult recently because one friend who I have known about 30 yrs and never a cross word,voted to Remain in the referendum and likes to bring the subject up though I’ve warned them not to. It is difficult to be friendly when you essentially regard that person as a traitor. Especially when they say how nice is it that Emmanuel Macron decided to marry an older woman etc.. I had to point out that she had been his schoolteacher and he spent ages tracking her down. That makes him a creepy cunt in my book.

      • I didn’t know he stalked her and she succumbed to his creepy behavior.

        Im sure he will make the peacefuls welcome with his creepy stalk mentality, albeit the age difference is the opposite direction for the pee doughs.

        Are we really to trust this cunt never mind the fact he’s French?

        I wonder if she hadn’t fell for his charms what was next on his tactics menu? Dark night and a balaclava or abduction for a long term relationship.

        The laughing hunchback better watch her mound.

  15. Just when we are talking of friends in need, its that time of year when the ABBC & Sly news cunts™ start waffling about local government bumping up the council tax by X.X %.

    Don’t think for a minute that come April, after a few months of expecting today’s forecasted increase that when its just under that % I will be throwing a street party.

    I know the cunning plan but it don’t wash with me, especially as if the government hadn’t shook the Grenfell branch so hard, local government would have enough from Westminster and no need to sting us cunts for the shortfall once again.

    Not forgetting the bonuses that my / your local authority gets from Westminster for taking in and homing refugee families in nice houses should rule out any increases. You greedy cunts.

    • Any virtue signalling middle class cunt who thinks we should take more refugees should be encouraged into a sponsorship scheme, meaning they take them into their home and become entirely responsible for them, for example legal bills if said refugee turns out to have criminal inclinations. I believe a scheme like this would cure these nimby cunts of their altruism.

  16. What a top cunting.
    Today I’ve been thinking that I do far to much to help friends and family, my problem is that I like to help people especially family and I make a point of rarely asking anyone for anything.
    If I’m in a Pub or Club I’m usually first to the bar and I don’t expect the stingy/skint cunts to buy me a drink back.
    Anyways this stops now and I’m going to be a selfish cunt.
    It seems all the super successful people are cunts anyways so in the words of Dick Fiddler… Fuck them. The cunts.

  17. I have to say you lot are true friends, and I thank you all for offering to buy me a one way ticket to the Congo.

  18. Unlike the famous saying A friend in need is a pain in the fucking arse and not a friend indeed. As an ex Navy man I collected friends on various deployments which obviously only lasted the length of the draft. I never bothered with the reunions as they were just a piss up and a sing song. Moving into the commercial world outside before I became a white collar cunt I worked as a travelling man on the nuclear power stations and friends became thin and temporary. My last role before packing it all in at 50 was managing 30 engineers and tech support from all points UK and working remotely from a Londonistan based head office at home. I now regard myself as being happily friendless – my 3 children are better friends than any who could have claimed the word. I have acquaintances but I never quite understood the concept of “friendship” – I think the female of the species do it with aplomb and take it seriously. I never did. As a rider I would like to include family amongst the cunting as friends. I have helped out my 2 siblings in time of depression, divorce and any trouble you could imagine but they have been found wanting when the boot is on the elder brothers foot. I wouldn’t choose either of the cunts as friends and apart from any hatch match or despatch of withered relatives I wouldn’t piss down their throats if their lungs were on fire. The best thing is I am happy to be so. I have enough vinyl and cartridges for my Linn Akurate LP12 to last me for 200 years, a holiday whenever I feel I need one, a car I love and a passion for collecting, renovating and selling period furniture in a workshop the most covetous DIY’er would go mad for. In other words – friends are an overrated pastime for the young and needy. I am neither 😉

  19. I don’t have many friends
    but the one’s i have are fucking ace and if ever any of them are being cuntish they simply get told.

  20. Great cunting. The best “friendships” are forged when the stars and planets align and it’s extremely convenient for you both to spend time together and you find mutual interests.

    Loads of cunts will tell you “it’s nice to be nice”, etc, when someone needs a hand with something, but is it fuck; it’s fun being a cunt. If a mate needs help painting a room or fixing his motor, he knows it’s a requirement to sweeten said deal with a slab of lager (minimum). Not in payment mind, just available all day while you piss about with paint brushes.

    I’m on my way to Bristol just now for flights to Cologne for a beery weekend with a couple of pals…. Who most would call “friends” but, let’s face it, they’re drinking buddies, nothing more. Childhood “friends” as I’ve known both for over 20 years, but that just means we’ve learned how to cope/manage each others’ cuntishness while getting pished….

    That’s probably why few friendships are forged after turning legal drinking age – it’s a lottery as to how others act/react when pished. You can trust the cunts you learned to drink with to be consistent. Probably.

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