Not your Smashy and Nicey types, these cunts that become superstar DJ’s. I’ve just seen one on the One show and there is the latest cunt being feted like a minor deity by the One show idiots. He’s giving it all the self deprecating bit but with a big smirk on like he’s just split the atom.

You play records mate. Other peoples records. I was doing that when I was 12.

You can take your ‘decks’ and stick them right up your fucking arse.

Nominated by Mecha Rigsby.

27 thoughts on “DJ’s

  1. Overdue cunting.
    Always baffled me. First the 60s and 70s wankers and now these superstars. They are not musicians. They are not singers. They don’t write anything original. What is clever about turning up the volume and acting like a cunt?
    I wonder how many of this new lot are paedos?
    And don’t get me started on the fucking One Show.

  2. I believe that Fat Boy Slim is a DJ. He was married to Zoe Ball. Zoe Ball’s father was Johnny Ball. The three of them are Cunts and I wouldn’t walk to the window to watch if Fatboy was playing his LPs while Zoe gave him a gobble and Johnny worked out sums on his arse…..although I might shout at them to “Fuck Off out of it,you Cunts.”
    Fuck them.

    • He did a free concert on Brighton beach in early 2000s. I remember thinkng he would be lucky to get 5000 people. He got a quarter of a million! Possibly the biggest gathering of cunts in one place ever.

      • I’ve never been to Brighton and this snippet of information hasn’t done anything to encourage me.

      • Better still be got electric shocks off wet decks at his winter party on the beach in 2007!!
        I was there only because I lived across the road! Fuckin pissed myself laughing , dozy cunt!!


        dick fiddler

        A woman who leads a man on into believing he’s going to get some pussy, when really he hasn’t a chance. Grown to popularity over words like tease because of the terminology “she played your dick like a fiddle”

        • Interestingly enough,my sister Fanny has recently married a Mr. Fart. Unfortunately young Kiddie remains single.

        • Dick Fiddler a woman? Can’t say I’m surprised, suspicious cove at the best of times.

          • You’re the one who made the allegation in the first place Willie.

            You need to be careful with your “unverified claims” cos Mr Cuntie Cunt could still be out there, ready to pounce at the slightest indiscretion…

          • I’ve been accused of a lot worse….a black man,a snowflake,a Scot,a dog-lover,a poof etc. Luckily I’m very even-tempered and never rise to any provocation.
            🙂 .

  3. DJs are cunts because they labour under the misguided impression that they are musicians and that they therefore create music.
    Cunts cunts cunts cumts cunts cunts cunts cunts cunts cunts

  4. When you go to the cinema nobody gives a fuck who the projectionist is… why are these cunts any different….?

  5. Years ago a mate of mine used to run a mobile disco. One time his usual “roadie” ( the bloke who helped him get the gear in and out of the van ) couldn’t make it so he asked me to fill in for a few quid.
    Fuck me, I couldn’t believe my eyes and ears! Once he got up on that stage he turned into a complete and utter cunt , wriggling about and mincing like a retarded gay, talking in a ridiculous transatlantic accent and just generally loving himself. I could see that he wasn’t doing it for the money……he was a no talent bum pretending to be a star. It was fucking pitiful.
    I never looked at him in the same way again.

  6. My brother was a DJ in the 70’s.
    It all started with a subscription to every day electronics and a free circuit board for a make your own sound to light kit,
    well he did a few “gigs” earning good money to buy more speakers, more lights, more records and so on.
    He did weddings, pubs all sorts of events, met interesting people who introduced him to interesting substances.
    well fast forward 30 years and you have a sad man living in his mums back bedroom, what an acheivment.

  7. Unless they’ve been the subject of an Operation Yewtree investigation,they’re not DJs.
    Hows about that then,Guys’n Gals?

    • I hope all the millions he raised has now been returned to the saps who donated in good faith.

  8. I’ve got a good story if a bit long. Back in the day, a friend of mine was a music teacher in Brighton, but he was also an amateur sound engineer and whenever schools in the county did music concerts, he would be asked to go along and do the sound check and make sure all the bits were connected up properly. If it was a rock concert I would go along as well. So there was this concert being given at a really posh private school near East Grinstead, but when we got there the cunts hadn’t bothered to bring all the equipment out, it was all stored in a small room. We said that we will never be ready in time. One of the boys said that he could get his Dad to help as he used to be in a band. We said yes, so he phoned his Dad and said he would be ten minutes. The guy arrived.

    He was Jimmy Page.

    My knees buckled. Can’t say I really met him. He was all business but I’ll never forget that evening.

  9. For cunt’s sake, it’s not difficult.

    Add an s to make a word plural: DJs.

    Add a possessive apostrophe to indicate belonging to: DJ’s records (or if more than one DJ) DJs’ records.

    My piss and blood have enough to cope with in terms of temperature increase without having to correct TWO titles on here in one day.

  10. Dick fiddler – a Scot don’t make me laugh
    Just a cunt like the rest of us
    The Cunt !!!!!!!!!!!

  11. I’m sickened with this cunting you guys know how much I like Techno and truthfully this hurts me Not all DJ’s play other peoples records its technical stuff it TECHNOlogical stufff alright ?!

    I’m too angry at this cunting right now… too flustered to vent my disgust BUT i’m gonna be back LATER, after I play some star wars, smoke some green herb and listen to killa beats I Will B BaCk

  12. There are some very down to earth good deejays out there,
    but they are very outnumbered by the ones that are complete and utter look at me im a fucking big star cunts.

  13. All DJs are shitty cunts but by far the worse are the crappy rejects a large supermarket pays them to *present shows* on the inhouse *radio station*. Yes I am talking about those motherfuckers at Asda *AsdaFM*. To wax lyrical about some pop tart then have to tell you about a buy one get one free bog roll offer with the same fucking fake sincerity just sounds cringeworthy, and you get the feeling they are probably using one of the bog rolls as they prattle on. They all sound like uber-cunt Tony Blackburn in the mid 70s with that *amused* laugh in the voice stentorian delivery. That Transatlantic crap where men and women don’t exist

  14. Reading this back There really is alot of cunts on here who don’t know what the fuck they are talking about stick to cunting the politicians etc or maybe go out and listen you might learn something

  15. When I was teeny-bopper aged the D.J. was (usually) an overweight chap for whom hell would freeze over before any of the local talent noticed his existence, hence he played the records to achieve some kind of notice and not to be entirely left out. That such people are now seen as musicians and celebs leaves me speechless; more so that they are seen as sexually desirable. Women have no sense.

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