Does your shit stink?

Afraid of what others may think of your nasty stench as you leave trap #2 at work or in a restaurant?

Then you need “Vipoo”!

A product dreamt up in the land of snowflakes! What you do – just before you’re about to evacuate your bowel – is give a few sprays into the toilet basin, cut one off and YOUR pongy aroma cannot escape, instead YOU leave a nice flowery smell for the next person to make stool on that particular throne.

(As advertised on mainstream TV – I shit you not, pun intended.)

Please note the perfectly formed donut shaped turds and therefore I can only assume are sponsored by Krispy Kreme Donuts (probably taste the same anyway).

The main issue with this product is that YOU fork out a fiver for OTHER people’s benefit!

Socially considerate as that may be, I would think it much more beneficial to have a product that nullifies the rancourous and noxious odour of the filthy cunts leaving a Guinness fuelled “Red October” in the pan 1st thing on a Monday morning at work which takes the whole day to set sail into the depths of the local sewer system!

Also, how is this product going to help when the rumblings downstairs are courtesy of a nice Vindaloo producing little solid matter in a flock of sparrows arrangement?

If I am subjected to stenches that would gag a maggot on a daily basis then I think it only fair that I inflict the same reward on my colleagues who can bask in it for all I care!

A perfectly pointless product for the most pointless folk in society: Generation Snowflake!

Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt!

101 thoughts on “Vipoo

  1. I’m all for it……… If yer a freak that uses any bog other than yer own, then buy this ya filthy beggars.

    42 and still never done a toalie anywhere other than my own home or if I was staying over at somebody’s.

    If I’m having a toalie in some other shittters house, then they can supply the vipoo.

    Have yous ever sprayed deodorant to try and mask the smell of a freshly knocked off log?……… It just ends up stinking of deodorant and shite……

    • You simply use any air freshener and spray the offending turd as it leaves your arsehole .I ran out of it one day after a curry marinaded dump so I had to use another spray, Mrs Fistula was amazed that after opening my bowels their was a strong stench of Mr Muscle oven cleaner.

  2. They could have done with some of this stuff in Downing Street yesterday with all the shit flying about.
    What kind of PM allows cabinet members to stamp their feet and tell them what job they want? Just kick their arses out into the street you weak bitch. Can you imagine Thatcher putting up with this shit? Mind you, she wouldn’t have got down on her knees and sucked EU cock either.
    What a fucking shambles this government is. Get ready for a rainbow coloured door at No 10 and Catweazle walking through it.

    • Quite agree FTF. What the fuck was going on there then? And why is Rees Mogg not invited to the table?

      • Give it time, The Mogg can be minister responsible for kicking Barnier in the plums, nutting Junker and glassing that cunt Verhofstadt.

        • In my experience when you plan major changes at work you sort it out before any announcements and fanfare. Yesterday we had the predictable fuck ups with Hunt and Greening (I think) It seems that May couldn’t organise a fuck up in a brothel.
          On a plus note though – wasn’t Greening the fucking half wit who said gender could be self-certified like some sort of sick note? If so then she is well rid of.

    • Did I read somewhere that Treesa had decapitated herself with a shovel in her cabinet shake-up ?

      Sounds like a good name for a cocktail…
      A mixture of whitewash and bile, freely available around Wetminster.

    • I said the same thing to the missus. It’s a sign of how weak May is that she allowed Hunt the cunt to stay on as health secretary. If it had been me, the conversation would have gone like this;

      “Listen, you prissy little twat. I’m the boss around here. I decide who does what job, NOT YOU! You can either move out of health and into another department, or you can fuck off to the back benches. And come the next election, you will NO help whatsoever from Tory central. Got it? Decide now, Fuck Knuckles”.

      With May, the conversation was probably more along the lines of;

      “Ah, Jeremy, I want you to move from health to another department”.

      “No, I’m staying as health secretary. I don’t want to move”.

      “Oh, well, that’s disappointing. If you insist though, you can stay where you are”.

      The worst thing though, is that Jenny Jellyspine is doing exactly the same thing with those unelected cunts over in Brussels. Every time they demand something, she gives it to them. When we demand something in return, and they say no, she accepts it. It’s no wonder the fuckers have no respect.

      This country is well and truly fucked. There isn’t a single party right now that has a leader who comes within ten thousand miles of actually fitting the description of a leader.

      • I VERY reluctantly voted Remain precisely because I had zero confidence in our Government or Opposition to make anything other than a pig’s ear out of managing UK independence. However, the current situation is far worse than I could ever have imagined. Now we’re going to end up with the worst of all possible worlds, regardless of who’s in power in the foreseeable future. Brexiteers and Remainers will both feel cheated in equal measure, thanks to our COTY Prime Minister. But let’s not kid ourselves, Labour would serve up a dog’s Brexit, equally if not more damaging to our national interest. Boris is a cunt. J. R-Mogg? With 80%+ Remain MPs & Lords out to scupper anything that smells like real Brexit, I wouldn’t advise holding your breath. My advice? Get stoned and run around.

        NHS reform, housing, the Economy etc? Forget it.

        Truth is, as QDM rightly concludes: This country is well and truly fucked.

  3. You should try a SE Asia public WC. I don’t mean in a shopping center but when you are caught short on the road and have to go to the local WC ( many basic houses don’t have their own ) of which about 20 houses share. Usually a “bomb aimer ” job as well. The smell will kill a brown dog. Only as a last resort and you better have your own tissues.

  4. Well, it sounds like a daft idea, however….
    In my place of work are several hundred guys and 9 pans in total.
    Due to a reasonable standard if living afforded by the wage, a very high percentage of these guys have bowel problems they have no intention at all of doing anything about.
    My god.
    Imagine a jihadi using his bowels instead of gelignite, multiply by two hundred and you get the general idea…
    There is a place for this product I can assure you.

  5. Am I missing something? I’m always proud of my stink, why would I want to cover it up? I paid good money for that….

    Note to Admin. I can post from my laptop but not my phone, despite being on the same wifi signal. It keeps saying comments suspended to prevent spam.

    • There are levels of stink. Some folks are so bad you’d take it as the basis for a cancer diagnosis.

      • Other peoples shit stinks, but never your own. Or should I say rarely your own. I remember one such stinker that actually turned my own stomach it was so foul. If memory serves I’d had a baked potato topped with tinned crab meat, raw onion and blue cheese washed down with scrumpy jack which may have turned into black velvet with rum chasers as the evening progressed. Fuck me sideways…..

  6. This product is a fucking con.

    Surely the stench originates during the crucial moments where stool hangs ‘twixt arsehole and bogwater! Nothing can be done about that. What a bunch of fraudulent cunts. Oh and stop fucking advertising this literally shit product during mealtimes!!!

  7. ViPoo is annoying but not as annoying as the silly bint telling us how good her paper panties look and how good they are at soaking up the pee she can no longer control.

    Sorry love if you need to wear a nappy that’s never a good look

    • And I’ve never quite bought into this blue pee thing.

      Smells a bit fishy to me…

  8. Birdman
    No heard the word ” toalie” fur years pmsfl !!!!!!!
    Next it will be ” gongy” !!!!!!!

  9. It always makes me giggle to have a nasty shit in a public bog then not flush it just to imagine the look of horror on the face of the next poor soul to gaze on my green(red wine) sulphurous pungent dollop along with skidmark infested wank roll👍👍👍

  10. My mate had a shit at a bush bog on a game reserve in Zululand a few years ago. I swear the smell was still there 3 years later. (the bog had no windows)This product would have been useless. A flamethrower might have helped.

  11. I’m back in Europe a matter of fucking days and my piss boileth over. Yesterday it was virtue signalling film “stars” and today the twitter mongs are melting down about a fucking cunting poster advertising cheap kids clothes.

    When I saw the poster I just thought ” A young kid wearing a hoody”. Full fucking stop. But not the twitter mongs because on the hoody was the slogan “Coolest monkey in the jungle”. So fucking what?! The kid happens to be BLACK!!! Full scale twitter outrage within seconds. Have you ever noticed the people who bring race into everything are actually the racists? What is it they are objecting to? The hoody, the slogan or the fact that a black kid is wearing it? And I wonder how many black people are screaming “RACIST!”?

    And the company behind it, H&M are fucking cunts and all for caving in to the twitter mongs by pulling the poster and issuing an apology. They should have stood their ground, faced down the twitterati and issued the following statement;

    “We at H&M are a colour blind company. We do not see people in terms of how much melanin their skin contains, it is simply irrelevant to us. We view all people equally, we do not believe fracturing society into arbitrary groups based on supposed victim status is productive. Further, we suggest that those who do see skin colour first are cunts who can fuck off and die.”

    • Brilliant statement – should be distributed to every organisation /business in the country targeted by the racist cunts who have a vested £££ /social unrest interest in keeping their racist gravy train rolling full steam ahead.

    • Good to see this backfire on all the PC cunts who have to have ethnics in all the fucking ads. If they had used a white kid, nobody would have give a fuck but in the ad world, all families are back and white and all their offsprings are coffee coloured little cunts.

    • I wonder how many black parents have called their children “cheeky monkeys. Same as black people listening to black music with the word n****r thrown in every 10 seconds. Hypocritical racist cunts.

      • A number of black callers to LBC Ferrari Show this morning said they were far from offended by the ad, and often referred to their kids as “cheeky monkey” without racial connotation.

    • Brilliant, Skiddy… I don’t see why companies and other organisations capitulate to baying social media mobs and snowflake mongs… The more they get what they want, the more they’ll do it… But all cunts who get offended on Twitter do is get offended on Twitter and nothing more… There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of and almost all snowflakes are cowards… I hope one day some firm or celebrity who has offended these knobs will say ‘I don’t care!’ or ‘Or What?!’ when an apology or climbdown is demanded… And, when in the boxing ring, didn’t Ali claim loudly that he was ‘King of the jungle’?…. These libfucks are as ignorant as they are stupid and uppity… Frigging cunts…

    • Isn’t it way-cyst of the demented virtue-signalling semaphores to associate the word “monkey” with our (ahem !!) “colonial cousins” ?

      I just took it to mean an animal with a higher IQ than my neighbours…

      Obviously the model must be relieved of his fees by “Dennis More, on his horse Concorde”, and they must be given to the mentally bankrupt such as Lineker, Spasmotron, and Rowlinginit.

  12. Brilliant statement – should be distributed to every organisation /business in the country targeted by the racist cunts who have a vested £££ interest in keeping their racist gravy train rolling full steam ahead.

  13. The traditional remedy for toxic turd vapour used to be to light a match. The products of combustion nicely neutralised the stench, though it was advisable to give the flatus a waft first lest it ignite. Nowadays, of course, doing that would (a) set off the fire alarm and sprinkler system and (b) ensure that the counter-terrorism police would be covering the cubicle with their H&Ks as you emerged.

    Anyway, they can stick a can of V.I.Poo up their fundament to keep nasty smells in their bowel.

    One more thing – people who call shit ‘poo’ are overdue a dedicated cunting.

      • ‘vipshit’ resonates better with the purchaser’s probable status…you nearly got there, though.

  14. I had never heard of this stuff but removing what I fled from this morning is way above it’s pay grade. This was at the golf club and as fortune would have it, a toffee nosed cunt whose path I have crossed before walked immediately into my dense cloying miasma just after my own escape from the death cloud.
    I enjoyed the thought of his capillaries closing up , his throat vying with his arse for evacuation rights ; quite made my round !

  15. Caught a bit of O’Shithead this morning. I heard the cunt say that Cameron was “ the worst PM in two centuries.”
    Do what? Did I just hear that?
    Then I remembered it was Cameron who called the referendum , the one where O’Shithead was made to look a complete cunt , the one he has been crying about every day ever since.
    Bitter bitter little wanker.

    • The other day the cunt intimated that he wishes he was more outspoken in the run up to Brexit referendum because he would have influenced the result.

    • Worst PM in two centuries?… I presume O’ Bellend has never heard of Ted Heath, Tony .B. Liar, and Gordon Brown?….

      Mind you, O’ Bellend will adore Blair… After all, he closed down scores of pubs, banned smoking, and infested Blighty with a plague of foreign muck with his open door policy… Yeah, Blair will be a snowflake god to O’ Bellend, no doubt about it..

      • If Camaroon was the worst in 2 centuries, who was the best? Not the great Winston Churchill? Not a chance, he was a true blue Tory so O’Bellend wouldn’t go for him. Probably that slap headed pipe smoking cunt Attlee, the cunt who saddled us with the NHS which has been simultaneously draining the countries coffers and attracting Johnny Foreigner in equal measure. He even looked like Lenin. The cunt.

        • O’Shithead worships at the feet of Bliar & Adonis, so his choice of best PM would likely be Bliar.

          Strangely, he’s not yet 100% up Comrade Corbyn’s arse, but that can only be a matter of time – maybe when Corbyn stops dithering and calculates Labour are more likely to win on a Remain ticket…but not if the unprincipled cunt calculates the opposite.

  16. Nice to see those girls at the Golden Globes ceremony keeping the sexual harassment “me too” mantra in the news.
    Loved the sexy, skin tight revealing dresses. Go girls!

    In related news, whispers about Oprah, a black, female daytime TV presenter considering running for office.
    What happens in the U.S. could happen here.
    So watch out for Trisha or June Sarpong in number 10.

    • All those ‘Me too’ celebricunts at the Golden Globes… I just wonder, how many knobs this lot have sucked combined in order to get parts and further their careers?… I’ll wager the number is well over a hundred… You see, when it suits them it’s ‘A gal’s gotta do what a gal’s gotta do! (giggle)’ and ‘Hey, them’s the breaks! (tweet tweet tweet)’… But when it doesn’t suit them and there’s virtue signalling to be done it’d ‘harassment’ and ‘Me too’… Such stinking hypocrisy (and mouths! They should all do a deal with Listerine)….

      • And why does this ‘Time’s Up’ and ‘Me Too’ crap only apply to Hollywood actresses? What about sexual harassment and abuse in other professions? Don’t policewomen, teachers, models, nurses, office workers, and barmaids also suffer harassment? Of course they do, but they don’t matter to those self serving Tinsletown skags… They don’t give a fuck about anyone else but themselves and their own publicity… The irony about this is that these actresses (and some will be lying through their teeth), who – until Weinstein – were fully paid up members of the cocksuckers union, will be lapping up publicity and sympathy… While some poor girl will be getting genuinely harassed (or worse) in some workplace and nobody will give a fuck… And, of course, none of these slappers have said a word about those girls who have been groomed and raped by them peaceful scum… This ‘Me Too’ shit is complete bollocks… There is nothing feminist or standing up to pervs and bullies about it… It’s just another celebrity scam and stunt… Complete and utter cunts…

    • Half of them wouldn’t have a fucking job in Hollywood if it wasn’t for sucking off Harvey.

      Did any of the ungrateful bitches say thank you? Did they fuck.

      Stuck up cunts.

      • Cunts one and all most can suck a golf ball through a garden hose at the first sniff of a fat payday.

        • I have it on good authority that Opra Winfrey is a fist class cunt. I can say little more to protect the innocent but suffice it to say my source was high up in the Winfrey power structure and dealt with the thick as pigshit fat cunt on an almost daily basis.

          • An ex neighbour and old mate of mine is a security guard at Heathrow: and he told me the most obnoxious cunts he has had the misfortune to encounter on the job are Madogga, Nicole Kidman, Cilla Black, Bruce Willis (bald cunt), Tom Hanks, and Oprah Winfrey….

    • I have a business idea for useful selfie sticks.

      When the eejit takes a photo of its cuntishness, a 9mm round is fired right back.

  17. Reminds me of the time a few years ago, I worked on the first floor at my job and the men’s bog was on the ground floor. The trouble was that the security shutter was kept locked so you couldn’t open the window. I never ever shit anywhere other than at home but this particular day I just had to go, there were no two ways about it, and I didn’t have any matches on me.
    I managed to get in there, have a crap and get back upstairs without anyone seeing me. After about ten minutes I heard the downstairs office door open, then the toilet door open, and there was this loud anguished cry from whoever the unfortunate person was who walked into it. It must have literally poisoned him.
    They held an inquest into who was responsible, and they may have decided it was me by a process of elimination, but I didn’t give a shit. I still chuckle when I think about it.

  18. If you use VIPoo one of the great English sayings will disappear for ever,those immortal words after having a great shite,stinking the place out and saying with a smile to the person as you leave contented and empty..I’d give it five if I were you mate you walk proudly and satisfied from a mega shite
    So rebel and be proud of your stink

  19. I suppose it’s only humane to provide toilet facilities at work, but why do some people have to do their #2 business during the working day?

    In all my 20+ years of office life, I have never taken a shit at work. Never. I prefer the peace, quiet and tranquility of my own bathroom facilities at home. However, some people seem to like putting on a show for the ‘ankle gazers’, while producing the most foul smell. Thus making the entire toilet a no go biohazard zone for anyone else with a sense of smell. Utter cunts.

    Then we have the people who show up for work presumably with a stomach upset. These cunts spray the seat and lid with liquid shit and leave it there. If any sane, responsible and considerate person had that type of accident at home, I’m sure they’d clean up after themselves. But some cunts seem to think that’s the job of the office cleaners and just leave it. Utterly disgusting and gross.

    I suppose the log layers are part of the work force who like to bunk off work as much as possible and get paid for it. Like the cancer stick smoking brigade. Cunts.

    While I’m at it, I’ll also cunt the cunts who are as thick as pig shit when it comes to urinal availability. In the toilet closet to my desk at work, there’s one urinal and 2 cubicles. If someone is already using the urinal, I do want any normal person would do and use one of the toilets in the cubicles instead. Not the Indian crowd, oh no! I’ll be at the urinal tapping a kidney and both cubicles are free. In comes Mr. Patel and stands a few feet behind me waiting for me to finish my pee. JUST FUCK OFF! I’ve not seen any other people do this, just the Indians. What is wrong with these people? Maybe they don’t see the cubicles in the same way they don’t see deodorant in their local supermarket. Cunts.

    • I thought it was a British tradition – a good, long shit as part of the working day. I cant remember ever shitting at work either but the more useless the worker, the longer the shit break. It’s what made British Leyland the force it is today.

      • Why would you not take a dump whilst at work, getting paid for curling one down, fantastic. Also if on overtime, it would be worth more to do it, time and a turd so to speak.

        I once worked with a dirty ole cunt who used to line the pan with reams of bog paper to prevent blowback before he conducted his motions, one morning he boss hogged one out that basically stood erect on the wad of the paper and waved up and over the top of the bowl like some strange conger eel alien shit thing…. The bog cleaner refused to tidy it up without being paid danger money and so there it stayed for over a week gradually turning a grey colour and sinking slowly back into the pan.

        I’d also like to cunt those individuals that think it normal to park themselves in the next trap whilst I am sat peacefully contemplating my stool, for fucks sake you need a firebreak of one trap or ideally two. The worst crime is to chummy your neighbour in the shithouse traps. It’s the last preserve of the stale white male (you know the one who pays taxes, funds the NHS for foreigners etc) to take a shit in piece.

        And finally, best bog wall graffiti…..

        Written on the right hand side ‘Toilet Tennis, to play see other wall….

        And on the left hand side was written… ‘Toilet Tennis, to play see other wall…..

        I know, cunts. 😋

        • A Man who drank gallons of port
          Got through more pairs of pants than he ought
          Growling “This towelling
          my bowelling keeps fouling
          Is useless when I get caught short.”

  20. The FA are, and always have been cunts. Made this huge announcement that when Southgate goes, one of the candidates who will be interviewed will be ethnic. If you think about it, that in and of itself is discriminatory. It could well be that a white candidate who is better qualified may well be overlooked. I don’t want Mohammed Mgobogobogo to manage England. I want Bert Boltneck.

    • Not may be overlooked,will be. Once you have made an announcement of that extended cuntishness you cant go and appoint a white man.
      That would make you look even more racist to the wankers you worship so you will do everything to make sure an ethnic will get the job. Not that it fucking matters to our chances of winning jack shit.

  21. The poor girl in the advert has ruined both her career and sex life in one go. Casting directors don’t want the audiences picturing their leading ladies taking big, smelly dumps, and blokes trying to bang one off in her will go all floppy from the thought of a big stinky log falling out of her arsehole into the bog.

    • While we’re on the subject of girls and logs I’d like to relate a little tale….
      Rewind the clock many years….
      I am a young man carrying out some maintenance in a ladies toilet in a large office block. The door opens and a very attractive young lady walks in…… here’s what happened…

      HER..( a little surprised ) Oh!!
      ME… Oh hello, just carrying out some work, I’ll step outside for a while.
      HER… Oh it’s ok you don’t need to do that, just carry on.
      ME… Ok then.
      She goes into a cubicle and bolts the door, there’s some rustling, a short silence and then all hell breaks loose. Its like a cross between a busy night for the RAF over Dresden and a Royal Navy sub hunter dropping depth charges in a frantic attempt to destroy U57. It doesn’t last long and she reappears, washes her hands, gives me a sweet butter wouldn’t melt smile, says ‘bye and walks out as the sound of ripsnorting farts slowly fades. I retrieve my jaw, which has descended to my knees and carry on with the task in hand, speechless.
      I sometimes think of this incident in the quiet half – light before daybreak.

      • I bet you think of that every time some twat says things like “women don’t fart” etc. Dirty, dirty bitches!

  22. I wonder if they spray this stuff on O’Shitheads mike after he’s finished a show ? After all, it will be covered in verbal diaorrhea spittle, the cunt.
    Fuck him.

  23. There is a big and obvious flaw in this Vipoo nonsense, that TECB has touched upon in his post above. Also when most folk lower some brown cable, there is the inevitable emission of a fine bouquet of poo-gas that accompanies the tortoise head. No amount of scented oil floating on the water in the pan is going to stop gas above the water line floating off and attacking someone’s nostrils.

    The beauty of the inevitable product failure is that who is going to be ballsy enough to complain to the manufacturer and run the risk of accusations that their shit is abnormally pungent, much to their chagrin?

    What would Diane Abbott do? Does she carry a vial of Vipoo in her handbag to ensure she doesn’t spring from Trap no.1 in the Commons leaving it smelling like the monkey’s cage at Whipsnade Zoo? Vipoo? Fuck me, that one would need more than Vipoo to conquer the smell from her overstretched ringpiece. Same goes for Lady Nugee too. Abbott’s shite would have a slightly wild and spicy chickeny aroma from the previous night’s KFC, whereas Nugee’s shite would probably hum of stale pork pie, pickled eggs and ham.

    Imagine the pair of them taking a shite in unison in Trap 1 and Trap 2 of the HOC. Fuck me, they would both go with a bang. Get the bomb squad!

    • Flabbott & Nugee probably use it 24/7, regardless of whether they’re shitting or not. And STILL they stink the world up.

  24. Why the fuck is it illegal to be a member of far right groups? What happened to free speech and human fucking rights? When did a member of a far right group bomb a concert in Manchester? When did a member of a far right group mow a bunch of cunts down in Westminster?

    Makes me puke. Cunts.

    • The label “far right” has become about as useful as “racist” these days, it is meaningless because it has been way over used as a pejorative term rather than an accurate description of a persons’ or groups’ political leanings. What is far right about objecting to your daughter being raped by a gang of peacefuls, or being blown up at a pop concert, or being crushed beneath the wheels of a truck of peace, or having your throat cut by a religious head case when you trying to have a fucking pint with your mates? For “far right” just read “sensible self preservation”.

      • Genuine nazis must be laughing their psychopathic socks off. And besides, ISIS and their supporters are far-right themselves, by any rational definition.

        • Hitler’s Fart of Doom on youtube.
          And many others.

          I’d love the raw arse-power to blow windows out of government offices, indeed raze them to the ground.
          I think it goes back to my (first) childhood…Dad’s Army on patrol with Jones’ van:
          “Open two, three, bang two, three…”

    • I have wondered the same myself. We keep seeing one such group in the news at the moment. The impression we’re given is that every single member is gonna be hunted down and sent to jail forever but no reasons or any other information are given.
      It is a struggle to understand the threat these groups present in the absence of any information.
      The only thing available is a smattering of literature, such as the turner diaries, but even this fails to illuminate the subject. At all.
      What’s really the issue with far right?
      Are people afraid the mere words will start another world war?

      • We need look no further than the PC libtard agenda to gag anyone who does not accord with their world view.

        • I always have the libtards down with the nonsensical who like to poke public fingers with loud accusation.
          When a group gets put on a special list and its all dealt with quietly it arouses interest and suspicion.
          I’m not convinced their threat is any more credible than anyone else’s, it’s the percieved threat that I think may be of interest.

          • The “far right” has never been a serious threat to the British state, democracy, or the mainstream political establishment – even at their height in Mosley’s time.

            During the 1970s the NF & BNP often featured in the media, but their popular appeal was marginal at best. The Left has always posed the greater threat, and many would argue they are now firmly in the driving seat, their agenda dominating education, the media, justice system and mainstream politics / social policy, everyfuckingthing.

      • Yes, that fucking horrible cunt security correspondent with a name similar to Bin Ladens desert address – Rhohit Catchull – that’s the cunt – did a week long expose given 10 minutes of every news at ten (or the Tom Bradby half hour smart arsed comment show as it is now) to report on the rise and serious threat to the UK by extreme right wing groups. Using the sternest of stern words with the finesse of a local iman he prattled and spoke fluent bollocks through out the 4 day build up to the final night when he was to meet the ultra right wing would be terrorists. Turns out it was four lads in a gym doing some boxing training with a bit of a downer on the current mess of our immigration process who were a little gobby, nothing more. Funny that Rohit isn’t around doing an expose on IS in Afghanistan and the threat they pose to the UK. The left media are just a bunch of cunts who actually would have us believe the threat of home grown BNP members ( of which there are few) compared to the majority of peacefuls who really need tabs to be kept on them. On a similar subject that cunt Robert Peston (or Baron Peston) needs a dose of Aussie flu to keep the cunt down for a few weeks / months. Check out “Common purpose” and Pestons dodgy involvement – cunt.

  25. Do they do a “VIPiss” version – “Spray VIPiss before you piss to keep nasty smells in your bowl” – Haven’t had a bowl of Sugar Puffs in fucking years but every so often I can smell the fuckers when I’ve pissed….

    • I like to drink about a pint of espresso before 7AM – I can smell the coffee wafting up from the urinal. Never fails to amuse.

    • Asparagus piss, outreeks a dump when taken at the same time. And sugar puff piss. What the fuck is all that about?

  26. There are two types of toilet in Japan

    Firstly the pan type which usually comes with the following sort of press able buttons:

    This regulates flush pattern, strength of flush, seat warmth etc. Usually incorporated is a bidet, variants include warmth of water, strength of jet (fierce or gentle), angle, length and position of water jet. The first few times of using this type of toilet are interesting to say the least.

    Always worrying is the fact that the plumbing and associated fittings iare designed for Japanese people whose logs are smaller than the Westerners log, and the uncertainty that your log will not become lodged resulting in the basin overflowing.

    The second type of toilet is a hole in the ground, where you unceremoniously have to squat over the hole whilst depositing your load.

    Really from one extreme to the other. But this is Japan.

    • Out of interest asked Mrs Stroker what the red button is for?

      Apparently this activates the wafts of warm air which gently dry the now cleansed rusty sheriffs badge and surrounding areas.

      Just imagine for a moment if you will what sort of sexual mischief Japanese girls would do for you if something as basic as a toilet is a typical example of Japanese customer satisfaction!!

  27. I see that wrinkly old bag Theresa May has been out bigging up her shiny new ‘diverse’ cabinet ministers. Fuck off you decrepit, spineless moose, the only thing that’s likely to be diverse about these stooges is their vast array of deviant behaviours and varying degrees of deceit and stupidity.

    • ‘Decrepit spineless moose’. That’s the finest description of Theresa May I’ve come across. Splendid!

  28. The Crime and Disorder Act 1998 is possibly one of the most insidious freedom denying acts of creeping dictatorship this country has ever endured.

    However back then ‘things could only get better’ and the Cunt B Liar had been swept into No10 with a landslide majority.

    Legislation was passed without so much as a whimper as the only real opposition at the time was the ‘press’ who pretty much to a man were backing New Liars.

    And so it was the Crime and Disorder Act was passed with later amendments coming via Anti Terrorism Crime and Security Act 2001, this absolute gem of legislation was enforced to eject the 80 odd year old anti war protester Walter Wolfgang from the 2005 Labour Party Conference, his crime? He shouted ‘nonsense’ during Jack Straws speech on the Iraq war.

    Remember that……?

    I do and I was pretty outraged at the time that a fairly well known anti war protesting octogenarian was physically removed from a conference he was fully entitled to attend by Her Majesty’s Security Services under the auspices of Anti Terror Legislation.

    To this day I still can’t believe there wasn’t more outrage at such blatant use of strong arm tactics in order to quell freedom of speech or a contra opinion.

    As I write this I’m reminded of Cuntflaps brilliant cunting of ‘The British’.

    I think it summed up perfectly our ‘join the back of the queue’ deference and our collective ‘I’m alright jack, nothing to do with me’ malaise.

    So we find ourselves in the mid noughties with a government that was using anti terror legislation to quell debate and an emboldened champagne socialist left, fully in charge of our institutions, taking offence on a daily basis at anything contra to their beliefs in order to close down debate.

    These cunts then breed and produce ‘Snowflakes’.

    Now we’re really in trouble.

    The Snowflake is a thoroughbred cunt. Brought up in a centrally heated 5 bed detached echo chamber where only their opinion is to be tolerated whilst preaching about the dangers of intolerance….

    Irony is lost on the Snowflake as it doesn’t translate on-line and besides they’re too busy blocking anyone who doesn’t agree with them or organising the next Twitter mob.

    So the echo chamber grows bigger still.

    What more evidence does the Snowflake need to justify their stance than the Al-BBC. It’s a completely impartial public service broadcaster dedicated to routing out inequality, racism and the gender pay gap and a whole host of first world problems.

    I was disgusted to find out that Claudia Winkleman earned £100k more than Tess Daly for presenting the same show and I’m heartened to hear all those dissenting voices demanding a pay cut for that bloody Winkleman.

    I understand the mighty Owen ‘MGBGTV8’ Jones has taken up the cause and won’t rest until the inequality is rooted out and Toby Young is crucified for being slightly provocative, the bastard.

    Chuck in to the mix the odd bomb attack on a bus, or the tube or a concert attended by thousands of teenage girls or being knifed to death as you walk home after a late shift at Borough Market and hopefully you’ll understand that it’s your fault.

    It’s your Government that has pursued these policies in far off lands that makes you and your children a legitimate target.

    You probably didn’t vote for it but it’s still your fault because Isssslaaam is a religion of peace and woe betide you disagree ‘cus if you do I’ll fucking have you for a hate crime.

    • Blimey McCuntface…a brilliant tour-de-force…a further great addition to the ‘Bumper Book of Great ISAC Cuntings’!

      • If it wasn’t for ISAC I can’t help but think I’d be remembered as one of those story’s from Arthur C Clarke where the person was found apparently having spontaneously combusted in their arm chair.

        • I recall my old science teacher (who was a right mad cunt, who played Hendrix during lessons and was partial to the wacky baccy) telling us a story about how a bloke saw his wife in the rick: and she was so shaggable that he spontaneously combusted on the spot… He swore blind it was a true story…

  29. Wonder if there is a ‘Vifsh’ (or ‘Vitwat)’ spray: for the noxious trawler scented minges of celebrislags like Madogga, Slagelina Jolie, those Kardashian trollops, and Lily the Mackerel Mong?

    Mind you, Dickie Gaga would have to use Vidick, I suppose…

  30. Before christmas, some silly tart was advertising this on TV as being ideal as a christmas present and the daft cunt was seen wrapping them up. Obviously politicians wouldn’t buy them because they are a shower of shit anyway and I’m certain Chuka Umunna would pay good money to smell Tony Blair’s shit. The way motherfucker Chuka has that permanent sniffy look on his ugly mug I suspect he has just shat himself anyway

  31. See theres been some massive flash floods and mudslides in California so are the right wing Trump supporters going to say as California is a huge left wing libtard sjw hotspot that it was mother natures rage and wrath Jennifer “cum face” Lawrence did when the hurricanes ravaged the southern Trump supporting states. I don’t think they will cos they have a brain and realise people have died and lost everything. The left really are scum and if you hear the shout they spout they actually contradict themselves so much it is like shooting fish in a barrel. Some say lawrences comments were taken out of context or misrepresented but the words slanted towards an anti trump feeling for sure.

    • As certain libfuck celebrislags seem to have no brains, I’m waiting for cumdumpster Lawrence to blame Big Don for the mudslides, and Then for Scarlettt Johansscunt to blame Big Don’s daughter…

      • Is this the same a Jennifer Lawrence who said about the release of her dodgy online photos;

        Anybody who looked at those pictures, you’re perpetuating a sexual offense,” she told Vanity Fair. “You should cower with shame. Even people who I know and love say, ‘Oh, yeah, I looked at the pictures.’ I don’t want to get mad, but at the same time I’m thinking, I didn’t tell you that you could look at my naked body.”

        Surely the wisest thing to do is not post dodgy pictures of yourself on the internet in the first place?

  32. Nothing wrong with celebrating the Wicked Witch’ demise, she was a cunt of mega proportions
    But, you’re right, Labour are a set of hypocritical lying CUUUUUNTS

    Just like the majority of politicians

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