Dead Pool [81]

Congratulations to Shaun i.e me who has scored yet another Deadpool victory by picking the Fall frontman Mark E Smith who died this morning aged 60 after suffering from ill health brought about by a lifetime of boozing and chainsmoking.

On to Deadpool 81.

Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.


Shaun`s nominations:

Leah Bracknell
Marieke Vervoot
Shane MacGowan
Dean Francis
Liam Miller

89 thoughts on “Dead Pool [81]

  1. Congratulations to Shaun.

    Mark E Smith’s got a slight look of Tony Blackburn in that pic…

    • He has indeed.Billy Bragg once said no one who met him liked him which is rich coming from such a massive cunt.

        • Sounds about right.
          Bragg has lauded Smith as a cultural icon on Twitter.Two faced cunt.Also Lauren Lavernock has said he gave her a tough time in an interview.Probably because she is a horrible cunt.

          • I had a pint or three with Mark at Band On The Wall a good few years ago, and I thought he was as funny as fuck and I didn’t dislike him… And the fakely named Lauren Laverne is a thick as pigshit hack who asks the dumbest questions (like a modern version of Muriel Gray)… I hope Mark gave her hell..

            And Willy Banjo Bragg is like a male version of Devil Streep: a concorde conked self serving champagne socialist double standards two faced cunt…

  2. Loved The Fall albums 27 Points and Hex Induction Hour. Couldn’t understand a fucking word MES sang on either album but loved them nonetheless… RIP

    Angela Lansbury
    Rod Laver
    Keith Richards
    David Attenborough
    Norman Tebbit

    • He did make some great music even if he was almost unintelligible when he sang.

      • Jerusalem by The Fall

        And did those feet in ancient times
        Walk upon mountains green?
        And was the holy Lamb of God
        On England’s pleasant pastures seen?

        And did the countenance divine
        Shine forth on clouded hills?
        And was Jerusalem
        In the dark satanic mills?

        Jerusalem, Jerusalem
        Jerusalem, Jerusalem
        It was the fault of the government
        It was the fault of the government

        I was walking down the street
        When I tripped up on a discarded banana skin
        And on my way down, I caught the side of my head
        On a protruding brick chip
        It was the government’s fault
        It was the fault of the government

        I was very let down from the budget
        I was expecting a one million quid handout
        I was very disappointed
        It was the government’s fault
        It was the fault of the government

        I became a semi-autistic type person
        And I didn’t have a pen, and I didn’t have a condom
        It was the fault of the government
        I think I’ll emigrate to Sweden or Poland
        And get looked after properly by a government

        Bring me a bowl of burning gold, bring arrows of desire
        Bring me spear, O clouds unfold
        And though I rest from mental fight
        And though sword sleeps in hand
        I will not rest ’til Jerusalem
        Is built in England green and pleasant land

        It was the fault of the government
        It was the fault of the government
        Of Government
        Jerusalem, Jerusalem
        Jerusalem, Jerusalem

          • Live At The Witch Trials was unique, in that it almost sounded like a ‘normal’ regular rock album!

          • I agree Shitcake, It was unique that it sounded like a live album but it wasn’t really, also people thought that because of the name of the album

          • That’s odd TS, cos I never thought Witch Trials sounded much like a live album. Was very different from all subsequent Fall albums though.

            The lo-fi sound on Dragnet took me by surprise at the time…wasn’t too sure what to make of it. Came to appreciate it with time.

  3. Lilley Allen
    Lilley Allen
    Lilley Allen

    PS:She was rubbing off a info board at tube station todY because it said something about “This day in history” and made reference to a famous battle between the British and Zulus in South Africa made famous by a Michael Caine film… Apparently, it is colonialism loving RRRRRRRAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMM.

    • Yeah jan 24th 1879 Rorkes Drift. What she doesn’t know is the day before the Zulus massacred a thousand British soldiers a few miles down the road. Now that’s fucking raaaaysist.

      • Oddly enough, I was there last year about this time.

        Did the battlefield tour of Isandlwana in the morning and Rourke’s Drift in the afternoon. Very interesting.

        The drift is nothing like the film. Zulu Dawn covered the earlier battle on film and is pretty accurate. The facts of Rourke’s Drift are pretty spot on in the film – except for a poor portrayal of Harry Hook who was nothing like the character in the film.

        The river at the drift is nowhere near the mission station and the film was made at Montusi in front of the Amphitheater mountain in the Drakenburgs. We stayed there a couple of days later.

        A most enjoyable trip especially for a geriatric middle manager. Recommended…

        • I envy you. Believe it or not I know a Zulu family who live in Stockwell, a long way from Isandhlwana.
          They told me that when they saw “Zulu Dawn” in Harare the whole cinema stood up and cheered to the rafters as our brave boys were overrun and put to the sword ( or Ilkwa I believe is the correct term). Let that be a warning to us all. Usuthu!!

        • Wasn’t is also the case that most of the force were English and only a minority Welsh? And the Zulu salute bit at the end was made up?

          No criticism of the film – I wouldn’t have it any other way:

          “Men of Harlech stand ye steady………”

        • For anyone interested in the Zulus and the Anglo Zulu war there is a book called Washing of the Spears by Donald R. Morris, it’s a good read and paints a vivid picture of that period in time.

  4. It’s going to be one of Shaun’s, it usually is.

    Absolutely no idea how he does it.


    • A bit of research and luck goes a long way.Smith had cancelled a number of gigs recently and was seen in a wheelchair when performing a while back.That and a friend of mine went to see him in Bristol only for him to pull out at the very last minute a few weeks ago.

      • That and he looked like a corpse for years.That pic above was from when John Peel a massive fan of Smith’s died in 2004.Almost unbelievable that he was only 47 there.

  5. Bingo !! Well done Shaun.
    Herman Wouk
    Stanley Baxter
    Ronald Atkins ex MP
    Martin Sheen
    Baron Terence Higgins

  6. Some people fear sharks, some fear drowning, some even fear clowns (ffs), but most people fear Shaun of the Dead 69 or Dioclese nominating them in the deadpool…..

  7. Javier Perez de Cuelar
    Betty White
    Jean Marie Le Pen
    Vera Lynn
    Mary Wilson, Harold’s widow not the singer

  8. News just in…….. Gurning Hall Of Fame member Ed Sheeran , has been on a house buying spree, he now owns four in the same village. What on earth could he want four for ? Oh wait a minute, he played at one of Amnesty International’s ‘Give a Home’ concerts last year, staged to highlight the global refugee crisis. Our horror headed busker hero said…’We all deserve a home, not just the memory of one. That’s why I’m proud to join Amnesty International and Sofar’s Give A Home Campaign…… so that’s it, he’s going to put his money where his mouth is and house poor refugees in his newly purchased gaffes, probably ‘peaceful’ unaccompanied ‘children ‘. What a hero. Expect local sales of pepper spray and rape alarms to rocket if correct ( highly unlikely )

  9. Jowell is a good call. saw her on the news earlier and she looked and sounded near the end.

    • I fucking hope so. The Jowell bitch was my MP for years and I had many a run in with her. She once had her goons throw me out of one of her pre-election public meetings. Fucking thief.

    • Shaun, sorry to hijack but I can’t post in nominations at all. I write my nom, I click ‘post’, the page loads but the entry never appears. Not even a ‘this post is awaiting moderation’ – just nothing at all.

      Any issues?

      • Not that I am aware.Am posting on my phone so will check when I am home with my PC.Moderation can be random in many cases and this seems such a case so I will rubber stamp your noms when I get PC access.

          • Just signed into admin setting.You have no pending unverified posts.If this problem persists please do let me know.Am off work tomorrow so can look into it in more depth if necessary.


            Shaun of the Dead 69

  10. John Carpenter
    Hal Holbrook
    Dennis Waterman
    David Warner (actor)
    Al Leong (actor, martial artist and stuntman)

  11. Des O’connor
    Des Lynam
    Nicholas Soames MP
    Roy Walker

    …… “up the Stairs Mister, eat y’self fitter!”

  12. Mark E Smith was the victim of BBC fake news on his 60th Birthday in March last year when instead of putting Happy Birthday put R.I.P .


    Just remembered this interview a couple of years back where Krishnan Guru-Murphy was clearly shocked when Smith asked why the Syrian Refugees where all young men who had fucked off leaving their wives and children and compared the Argentines to the Nazi`s.

  14. At least he snuffed it after a lifetime of abusing his body…
    So I think he died a happy man

  15. Camel-laaah Parkyer-Bowels
    Silly Jilly Cooper
    Harriet Harman
    Joannaah Plastic-Bumley
    Whining Owen Jones

  16. Well done, Shaun.

    Alan Alda
    Donald Sutherland
    Angela Landsbury
    Peter Allis
    Aretha Franklin

  17. Congrats shaun, the angel of death is in envy of you!
    Harrison ford
    Dianne abbott
    Jeremy corbyn
    Ed sheeran
    HRH the queen

  18. Isn’t it about time someone topped themselves for The Suicide Squad?

    Or where’s Jihadi?

    • Agreed! I thought the new year was a great time for wannabe suicides.
      Shame there aren’t more celebrity murders too, that game would be ace!

  19. There’s certainly a ghost in someone’s house today.

    Following list is by way of a tribute to Mark E Smith:

    Genesis P. Orridge
    Mark Stewart
    Shaun Ryder
    Howard Devoto

  20. Congrats Shaun, are you sure your not offing them yourself lol. My picks are ,

    Dick van Dyke
    James Earl Jones
    Ric Flair
    Gary Glitter
    Robert Duvall

  21. Nobby Stiles
    Patricia Routledge
    Jerry Maren (Last surviving munchkin
    Terry Jones

  22. Only time I heard of this bloke was a strip Viz did on him.
    Nicely deathed SotD
    King Juan Carlos I of Spain
    Julie Goodyear
    Bill Treacher
    Petula Clarke
    Pat Boone

  23. Think I’ll have a beer to mourn the ol cunts death, first ale in 4 months to be honest… maybe I’ll have a glass of wine and a whisky shot too

    Because I can hear the bitter angry departed soul of MES saying “only 1 beer you soft cunt?” lol cheers cunters

      • Never fell off a wagon in my lifetime, never had a serious drinking problem, stopped drinking few months back because I had this throbbing thyroid pain in my neck that flared up something fierce everytime I had liquor. Seems to be fine at the moment tho

        • Don’t much like the sound of that TS, thyroids can be treacherous coves – but wish you many more years of serious boozing!

  24. ”Superstar” Billy Graham
    Christopher Plummer
    ”Dynamite Kid” Tom Billington
    George Soros
    Enzo Amore

  25. Michael Aspel
    Shirley Williams
    Lord David Steel ( nominator for knighthood of child abuser Cyril Smith )
    David Owen
    Martin Peters

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