The Brexit Breakthrough

I Woke up this morning (baby) to hear a ‘Great Brexit Fudge Tunnel’ deal had been miraculously agreed upon. Hurrah! Our previously useless Maybot had somehow triumphed over the devious crooks that run the EU and had magically DELIVERED something that only one day before would have been considered impossible!

What a fucking turnaround…bring out the bunting…street parties a-go-go!

Only problem is we have to pay the Evil Empire a minimum of £45billion Net for…?? And remain in the Single Market and the Customs Union UNTIL the Irish border question is solved to the satisfaction of Ireland /EU /UK and the DUP, which of course is likely to be NEVER. So the same as remaining in the EU with no influence or seat at the top dinner table, but guess who’ll still be paying for for the food and entertainment…

During this eternity no third party trade deals will be allowed, freedom of movement/immigration will continue uncontrolled, and to add insult to injury the ECJ will continue to have jurisdiction within U.K. for 8 more years at least!

So there we have it, as predicted by so many on this site:


Nominated by Shitcake Baker

Once more the field is strewn with the corpses orf capitulation and bugger me we lurch orn to Trade Deal negotiations as the vanquished, the beaten force. We are now led by a generation orf surrender monkeys into a dark ignominious twilight orf defeat. How our enemies crow. The Oirish Snake Veradkhar hisses its triumph, “We have achieved everything we wanted”. That includes offering dual EU citizenship to every proddy cunt in Northern Ireland thus inserting a massive crowbar between it and the remaining tatters orf the UK.

To rub acid into our wounds the Hunchback orf Downing Street totters aroinde looking pleased with itself while Junker caresses its hump.

As to the illegal “Divorce Bill”, that is to be only £40bn oh huzanners and ring every church bell in the land. Guess where most orf that moolah will be going? To the CAP (Common Agricultural Policy) and which cunts are the major beneficiaries orf that? Surely not the Frog bastards, those self same cunts running the “Negotiations”. What worse oitcome could there be than an arse and a gobfull orf Eurospunk? The Hunchback has thoroughly pissed orf Trump yet again re Jerusalem so no prospect orf help there.

Poor Blighty’s only hope can only lie in the bloodied and torn state orf its arse. At some point in the future the EU will become disgusted and bored at what we have to offer, dump us and move orn to fresh bum.

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke

( To read the full text of the agreement click here )

55 thoughts on “The Brexit Breakthrough

  1. If the question on the referendum had been….
    Do you want the UK to pay more to the EU, while having no say whatsoever in the running of it, and be held accountable by it in all regards, such as law and immigration, but pretend to leave……it might have been closer to what a leave result is. Was actually leaving the EU ever on the table?

    • The only thing that prevented me voting Leave was a total lack of confidence in our ruling elite to make anything but a complete pig’s ear out of independence. I have since often prayed to be proved wrong, and that from an atheist…

  2. Completely fucked off with everything to do with Brexit and the totally inept bunch of fucking useless wankers governing this country.

    Cunts the lot of them.

    • The pie man can be quite funny at times. He did a good one about the terror attacks in London. But remember the “perpetrator was mentally ill and has nothing to do with the religion of peace”

    • Jonathan Pie’s a total CUNT! May have been remotely amusing over his Trump rant, but since then he’s just still trying to make a name for himself by shovelling the same type of shit. Repetitive CUNT!

      • Agreed, respective in the extreme. He manages to squeeze in a dig at Brexit on every one of his hackneyed rants. Cunt.

    • Too right Kendo, UKIP are the only choice for any of us that voted out. Nigel, Jacob Rees Mogg, and a couple of entrepreneurs like James Dyson and Tim Martin should have sat round that table in Brussels .

      • Not even Stephen Hawking could have resolved the Irish border question, because it’s not possible to resolve: if we leave the Single Market and Customs Union, there has to be a hard border between NI (UK) and Ireland (EU) – and that invalidates the Good Friday Agreement and means a return to sectarian violence. I know Rees-Mogg’s answer to everything is to just walk away and revert to WTO rules, but WTO rules also require a hard border between NI and Ireland, so that approach doesn’t actually solve anything.

        • Don’t understand why a hard border necessitates a return to violence, unless the parties involved want that? It wouldn’t have to be a Checkpoint Charlie situation, unless the EU want to make it so. Which they probably would – anything to scupper UK independence and implement punishment to deter other states leaving. Why not a friendly, relaxed sort of border, like that between USA and Canada? Wouldn’t the micks welcome that FFS?

          Don’t know why I’m even bothering to think about this nonsense anymore. Things have already fallen well short of anything I would recognise as Brexit anyway.

          £50billion? In the Single Market & Customs Union in perpetuity? ECJ? Freedom of Movement? Get fucked!

  3. “49. The United Kingdom remains committed to protecting North-South cooperation and to its guarantee of avoiding a hard border. Any future arrangements must be compatible with these overarching requirements. The United Kingdom’s intention is to achieve these objectives through the overall EU-UK relationship. Should this not be possible, the United Kingdom will propose specific solutions to address the unique circumstances of the island of Ireland. In the absence of agreed solutions, the United Kingdom will maintain full alignment with those rules of the Internal Market and the Customs Union which, now or in the future, support North-South cooperation, the all-island economy and the protection of the 1998 Agreement.”

    And it’s the final sentence of that clause which means that it’s the softest possible Brexit – in fact, Brexit in name only.

    There cannot be any “agreed solutions” about this in the future, it’s technically impossible. A hard border will mean the end of the Good Friday Agreement and a return to the Troubles, but without the UK staying inside the Customs Union and Single Market, there will have to be a hard border between NI and Ireland (which remains inside the EU). We will therefore “maintain full alignment with those rules of the Internal Market and the Customs Union which, now or in the future…” in perpetuity – in other words, even if the EU decides to change the rules, we have to remain aligned to them, without any influence over how new rules are made and without the power of veto which we would have had inside the EU.

    It’s a shame that Boris, Gove and Farage were too busy seducing voters with big fat porkies about £350m per week to the NHS instead of discussing practicalities such as this. It would have also helped Remain to have raised such sensible issues instead of lying about draconian “emergency budgets” and employing the usual Lynton Crosby scaremongering tactics. ALL POLITICIANS ARE FUCKING CUNTS.

    Of course the hypocritical rightwing press who campaigned so vociferously for Brexit will now dress up this massive disaster as a great Tory victory despite the fact that May has now conceded on every single one of her “red lines”. THE PRESS ARE FUCKING CUNTS TOO.

      • Tremendous post Fred, brilliant analysis.

        One slight niggle: not sure you’re aware, but Farage had nothing to do with the so called £350million bus claim, which itself has been consistently misrepresented by Remoaners anyway. After all, the writing on the bus was technically true.

        But would agree that selling something as important as Leave like soap powder was a VERY serious error. No doubt had Remain won, disgruntled Leavers would have found an equivalent ‘big lie’ to exploit to justify their claim that result was illegitimate.

        • That’s correct Shitcake. The slogan on the bus is merely a statement pointing out what the money saved could be used towards. I’m fucking sick of every smart arse remainiacunt saying where’s this 350 millon then. For 1 shit for brains cunts we haven’t left yet so no funds available while we’re still propping up that shit heap in Brussels. And don’t think 17.4 millon people are gonna say ‘oh well never mind’, this ain’t going away. As for Freds comments he’s right assuming the corrupt pile of human wank stains survive into the future with tensions running high between the eastern countries and the economic frailties in Italy etc and the dodgy Euro. Come the day the Micks will come crawling back begging for support. Traitorous cunts.

          • Don’t forget if we are paying the £40 Billion at the rate of £350 Million a week, it will be roughly 128 weeks before we have paid and that’s only if fuckwit May doesn’t agree to pay it over X number of years with an interest rate (its not a fucking loan anyway, cunts) dreamt up by Spunker & Co. So it will be sometime before the savings made from leaving will be available for us to spend. After which there will be another scam.

            I say we walk and let the EU and Ireland worry about the costs and implications of any border.
            We must however have a border down the middle of the Irish sea with full customs at every GB port / airport.

            Although i recall that silly bitch Thornberry said all flights would be grounded to & from EU countries anyway?

            Thick bitch couldn’t even name the other 26 countries, their Prime Ministers and her foreign counterpart’s.

        • Shitcake, you’re quite right about Farage and the £350m claim, of course – lazy writing on my part! I just meant to show that BOTH sides told lies or adopted tactics that backfired and the £350m was the first example that came to mind.

    • I suppose the cunt brexiteers expected the cunt remainers to accept the the result and we all got on with the process of leaving the EU. Fat chance, seeing colossal cunts like Blair, Clegg and Gideon at the forefront of the kill brexit campaign.

        • Had the shoe been on the other foot and Remain won, those older, lower intelligence, bigoted, Little Englanders like yours cuntruly would have accepted the democratic result and tried to make the best of it, for the sake of the WHOLE electorate. Not your fucking Remainers, though – endless bitching, whinging, bleating and name-calling ’cause they didn’t get their own way . If we’ve ended up with a farcical Brexit – Ask a Remainer what exactly they did to help achieve one that is beneficial to us all ? Oh and tell me, WHEN exactly does Patriotism become Xenophobia ?

      • Naive Brexiteers trusted defeated Remainers to play the white man. After all, we all believe in democracy, don’t we? Ha-Ha – no fucking chance!

        Whether by incompetence, sabotage, or a mixture of the two, genuine Brexit was never going to happen with 80%+ Remainers dominating the Commons, Lords, CBI, Unions, PC Media libtards, Celebricunts…………….

        Cameron may yet turn out to be COTC for holding a referendum with so may unknown ramifications, just to shut his eurosceptic back benchers up and being spooked by UKIP.

  4. This is called ‘cunting to the converted’. I don’t think anyone feels any different including the Remoaners.
    On a different note, why are the French such cunts? They seem to be having a state funeral for Johnny Halliday. Who was apparently a rock star. Well, I say rock star but really about as close to a rock star as Danglebert Pimpledick or Cliff fucking Richards.
    No rock music has ever come out of France. Ever. Fucking Belgium at least produced Jaques Brel. No rocker, but at least a songwriter of some expertise. But the Frogs have never managed any music above the banal. The scourge of karaoke pubs, fucking My Way was French.
    They might have produced some techno turns. I don’t really know, but that is utter shite anyway.

      • After chocolates and jean Claude van damme he is their most successful export!!
        Ca plane pour moi!! 😂

      • Laurent Garnier is French, met him at a wedding once. More house than techno apparently.

        Me not being musical I have no fucking idea, perhaps the techno freak on here could enlighten me.

        Along with him there were some other well known techno/music guys too, funnily enough they were all really nice people.

  5. As it is effectively our money, we should be told which cunts are getting it and what the fuck are they gonna spend it on. As SMS suggested, fucking French agriculture will get a chunk. And Spain to pay the 26% unemployed cunts. Sick making.

  6. Congratulations to Zelda and her team for achieving a Soft Brexit and ignoring the majority decision voted for over a year ago. Keep cutting the money to worthy cash-strapped causes and contributing billions of our tax to preserve that vile nest of gangsters. Merry Christmas to all you rotten cowards and may your days be wretched and dark.

    • May your days be wretched and Dark
      And may all your Christmases be shite

      Bing Crosby

  7. From one of the worst run election campaigns in living memory to yesterday’s farce you have to think hunchback May is nothing but a Trojan horse!! Did she ever intend to deliver brexit ? Like fuck did she…….

    what’s the bet a second referendum will be called down the line?
    Go with a dogs dinner deal or go crawling back to the EU with your tail between your legs!!
    Keep your EU captain cook baubles, your veto too, phew the population breath a sigh of relief!! “ that was close, it’s good to be home”
    May and co have done what Blair, Clegg , umunna, soubry, the Wall Street bankers and every other brexit blocking quisling cunt has tried to do but failed!! She has changed the publics opinion !! And for that she joins Blair in the pantheon of Cunts!! Surly COTY is a forgone conclusion??

    • Another point worth considering is for some unknown reason the hunchback didn’t get involved in the referendum?? Neither a remainer or leaver ? She never gave much away! Odd behaviour!!
      For all you conspiracy theorists out there was the hunchback an insurance policy for the status quo?
      I’m undecided but it’s crossed my mind many times………
      If true she’s played a fuckin blinder……..

  8. What I get from all this is that the Good Friday Agreement prevents us leaving the EU. So what the fuck is it all about? Why all the posturing and fucking posing? Did no fucker think of this before? And does this mean that a bunch of terrorist bogtrotters decide the course for the UK?
    I think we should be told.
    As far as I can see this agreement gave jobs and pensions to murderous vermin who were losing anyway. Perhaps any NI cunters have a different perspective?

    • Hi CC…..
      I’m afraid that what it looks like..
      As I’ve posted many times before one of my biggest reasons for wanting to leave the EU was absolute nobodies from nowhere Shaping our destiny !!
      Of course over seen by the all powerful Germans and their puppets!!
      CUUUUUNTS!! 😡😡😡

      • Very sadly this was evident in this last week. We are fucked in the arse by a bunch of political twats. Kim Yong Un is now my only hero, Let em rip Kim!

    • Could the Good Friday agreement have been created with a view to securing Great Britain to a Lifetime EU membership?

      Tony cunting BLiar and his snide bitch wife couldn’t have foreseen this or did they?

  9. I’m beginning to understand now how the Germans must have felt after the Treaty of Versailles. Just a short while ago it looked so good and now we are humiliated, cheated and robbed. Voting is for mugs. 🙋🏼‍♂️

  10. What is this good Friday nonsense. If it’s to stop Irish cunts killing other Irish cunts then whoopee fucking doo. If they can’t behave, they should shove the stupid thing.

    • That sums it up nicely DaveM.
      I’ve voted Conservative in every election since I was 18 and I’m now 53. I voted leave and would again. If the result had gone the other way I, probably like the rest of you would have accepted it and got on with life. Pleased just to have had my say. We are supposed to live in a democratic country after all. Or so I thought.
      How fucking wrong I was .
      I can only see two politicians in any party with any principles at all.
      Nigel Farage and Jacob Rees Mogg. I wish they’d team up.
      Until then it’s UKIP for me.
      I don’t agree with JRM over abortion but at least he was honest when he was asked.

      • Agree with you, Ian.

        As is so often said, if voting WERE democratic, it wouldn’t be allowed.

        I’m glad, in a sad sort of way, that I am NOT military-trained, otherwise there would be a lot of body-parts lying around Wetminster at the mo.
        And the thought of a dirty/bloody w/e in Brussels…
        Odious dog-shite stinking hole.

        • I’m boycotting EU destinations already due to security but I won’t buy another German car or French bottle of red if this goes pear shaped.

          In fact, I’m just waiting for the conformation and I will be joining those pissed off on the streets of London.

          I voted to leave for control of immigration,borders & fishing grounds, control of our own laws, freedom to forge our own trade agreements with the rest of the world and most of all not to give them corrupt bastards in Brussels another penny!

          Time to bring out the Mogg as this bitch can’t be trusted, our democratic decision has been ridiculed by the EU and she let them bully us again, just like Scamerons Pre-referendum trip looking for concessions to sway us to vote remain.

          They need her out before the final decisions and before No10 falls into even more stupid hands as the Tory party will never survive the next election.

  11. ‘Wir fahren gegen England’ to be the new EU anthem, I guess. Third time lucky, Germany, Scotland, off you go, here’s yet more cash for your courgette farmers, France…
    Fuck Tusk, fuck Merckel and fuck the hunchback May. CUNTS.
    Oh, well. There’s always revolution.

  12. May should be instantly water boarded!! The old hunchback would soon be singing like a fuckin canary!!
    In days gone by people have lost their heads for less!!

  13. I’ve just walked in and they’ve got that cunt fest “Love Actually” on the telly. I saw 2 mins and almost vomited. What a pile of cunt!

    Well fuck that!

    So upstairs it is, beer in hand and a drop of IsAC. Read this thread and said beer hasn’t even made it to my bladder before it’s boiling away!

    After we didn’t invoke 50 immediately – before interfering twats like Pillar et. al. could shove their oar in where it wasn’t wanted – and pissed about I knew that we were heading for a worst of both worlds Brexit shitter trade deal, no fucking say, still haemorrhaging money to the economically corrupt and morally bankrupt EU, and *STILL* having to suffer all and sundry flooding through.

    Great yet another N.I. technicality, and we know how quickly they get resolved right!

    Well – just like Jerusalem, the Israelis and Palestinians – that’ll never get resolved…unless we have a Big Don type to upset the apple cart. I don’t give one fuck if that was right or wrong but at least it’s a fucking change in position rather than an eternity of nothingness.

    May needs to go. We need some cunt with the stones to a) to put it to EU cunts and walk – hard border or not, b) run on a campaign of real British values and not “peaceful” appeasement, hold an election and get a majority excluding those cunts in N.I. so we do get control over immigration and if that means hard border then fuck it!

    If you don’t like it EU and N.I. cunts then give us what we want: the ability to control the cunts coming in. If you want to do the reverse then please feel fucking free to do so, or, even better let’s have a “one in, one out” policy. Let’s just say there’ll be no shortage of places for Brits to go to Poland, Romania, Bulgaria, etc.

    Why not? Oh that’s because there’s 10’s of thousands of them to one of us and that wouldn’t be fair would it. Having our services stretched to fuck – nothing to do with immigration of course – is totally fair isn’t it!

    May and your Brexit cabinet hold your heads in shame you utter, utter cunts!

    • Great cunting. Did you type it one handed so you could still hold the beer? Be a waste otherwise.

  14. I only now fully understand why the IRA came into being, and why they took to the bullet. Trying to deal with the criminal snots in Parliament didn’t work. The bullet did.

    Following the recent sale of Britain. “long live the Bullet! “

  15. Well brexit has been the heap of festering shite I expected may to deliver. Nothing I voted out for is going to change. Fuck you May and fuck the EU cunts.

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