Bono [12]

Bono is a premium cunt…
We all know about the immense legacy of cuntitude this buffoon has behind him:

Giving speeches on green issues, then having a hat (a fucking hat!) flown across the world first class on a Jumbo Jet….

Using his vast wealth to pursue and ruin former employees in the high court over a pair of trousers….

Going on about ‘Make Poverty History’ and all that finger clicking shite, then blowing 250 grand on a ‘party’…

Appearing at every UK political party conference during General Election campaigns, when he’s Irish and UK politics has fuck all to do with him…

Pontificating about Brexit and how ‘wrong’ it is (again, fuck all to do with rich Bogtrotters)…

Tells the ‘riff-raff’ to dig deep for those lost cause Africans, when he has luxury houses in Dublin, New York, Barbados, Malibu, Amsterdam, and Monte Carlo…

And now the piss de resistance… After years of telling the ordinary working man and woman what to do with their hard earned cash, this cunt has been rumbled for tax dodging and ‘investing’ in a Lithuanian Arndale Centre… The whole thing smells worse than a Pakistani wrestler’s jockstrap fried in two week old chip fat…

He really is the Crème de la cunt…

Nominated by Norman

122 thoughts on “Bono [12]

    • South Park depicted him as being the world’s largest turd which is pretty close to the mark.

  1. Always had a problem with this tool after seeing his sweaty middle agedness jumping around on top of the pops in front of a teenage audience singing some new toonful muzak or other.
    There’s got to be scandal in there somewhere…..

  2. I think he’s grown into his level of cuntiness. I think he was only a teeny bit cunty for The Unforgettable Fire.

  3. A jockstrap prepared in that fashion is considered a delicacy in Japan

  4. There isn’t enough letters on my keyboard or band with and server storage capable of dealing with the cunting he has well and truly earned.

    The people of Ireland are responsible for taking the cunt to the level he could self sustain and then became an international cunt soon after.

    What’s with all the aeroplanes the cunt used in his music videos years back? Maybe still does it now as I haven’t seen any recent offerings from the cunt which can only be a good thing.

    A sure to be honorary member in the Hall of Cunts Fame.

  5. A bog person. The arsehole of all humanity. A festering boil upon the khaki button, and an insignificant fuckwit of the music scene. Remember this cunt from long ago. Sunday bloody Sunday…..And to this day I still say, the cunts that were fucking shot WERE fucking armed.

    And would Bono have known. Fucking too right the little cunt!

  6. A timely reminder that, as per suggestions from fellow cunters on the last Gordon Brown entry, I think the site could do with a Wall of Cunt, or Hall of Cunt or something.

    Anyone who has received double-digit nominations really ought to be recognised for the bona fide cunts that they are. Plus, we could list successive COTY.

    Bono immediately qualifies for the Hall of Cunt!!

      • There can only be one – Tony Blair. Then followed by all the other double-digit cunts.

          • I print out A3 portraits of the great and good and fix them to my archery target. The joy of putting an arrow in the mouth/eye of a notable such as Blair is almost euphoric. Funny that Bonio’s been cunted again his gurning mug is up for the next session. Him and that fucktard Gelddof what a prize pair of cunts.

  7. Who are the cunts who buy their music? Ah I remember. Apple and Apple fannyboys and girls. Says it all really. What a bunch on cunts.

    • I remember a friend in my early 20s who was into U2 massively. He was largely OK despite, in retrospect, being something of a socialist cunt.

      I think he was rooted in The Unforgettable Fire/Joshua Tree era; which to be fair was infinitely better than the self-indulgent wank they’ve been passing off since the early/mid-90s.

      Bono. The Unforgettable Cunt.

  8. Anton Corbijn surely has a hand in Nobos arrogance. It was his videos and album cover art work that turned these average scruffy cunts into believing they where supa duper.
    The same thing happened to Dave Gahan.

    Anton Corbijn is probably part of some cult and they use Nobo as their tool to be cunty.
    Anton Corbij is a little weirdo freak who’s art is utter nonsense, but i suppose that was his aim. The weirder the art the more famous the artist. Pish……..

    • Corbijn also worked with Bjork and Elvis Costello if I am not mistaken – both so far up their own arses that they resemble extras from an 80s body schlock horror film.

      Spike Jonze is another monster cunt of an arthouse music video director. And Terry Richardson is another, although being named in the recent sexhunt witch trails has put the brakes on his credentials.

  9. Think their music changed when they started thinking they really were something and a given that anything they churned out would be bought up. Hence the churning out of shite with less effort than before.

    The Irish seen the cunt as some sort of hero and statesman for Ireland. Why? I do not fucking know.

  10. Bono deserve an award. We’ve had the odd flash-in-the-pan MonsterCunts,but nobody else has managed a good thirty years of uninterrupted top-grade output. Hypocritical,self-important,smug,deluded…Bono is the undoubted Grand Master. We shouldn’t be Cunting him,Bono transcends mere Cunting. We should be celebrating the fact that we are fortunate enough to witness A Twat At The Top Of His Game.
    I doubt we’ll ever get to see his like again. A Leviathan in the world of Cunts.

    • Geldof has been a consistent cunt since 1984.

      Interesting concept, this ‘longest running cunt’ discussion.

      Bono and Geldof are like the Federer and Nadal of cuntdom.

      • I wonder if they enjoy some kind of diabolical symbiotic relationship? In the wild,wild world of Rock n Roll, I’d have expected,indeed hoped,that one or the other,better still both, would have succumbed to the ravages of Aids,drugs,alcohol or Paula fucking Yates. Perhaps it really will take divine intervention to remove these Sons of Beelzebub.

        • I bumped into Paula Yates once, I think she was playing hard to get…..she was wearing knickers….

          • At least you know she won’t be pursuing you in court for justice for that “bump into”.

        • …. don’t lose all hope, maybe they might still share a ‘rock ‘n’ roll’ weekend away break in the style of Buddy Holly, The Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens…..

        • Didnt Bono also give evidence in the defence of drunken arsehole Peter Buck who damned well nearly killed everyone on a passenger flight whilst trying to force open the doors at 25000 feet. Of course Bono wasnt on the plane so was never in any danger from the drunken actions of this prick. Mind you I am sure the cunt wouldnt have been so keen to jump to his defence if the plane was carrying his fucking hat !!!

          • But that pales into insignificance when you consider the vertically challenged leprechaun diving under a table to save his own skin during that truck of peace incident.

        • …or the ravages of fucking Paula Yates, possibly ??
          Although, I guess, it amounts to the same.

        • True enough,but he can’t scale the heights of hypocrisy at which Bono operates…anyhow,he managed to get ripped off by that one-legged old brass. The laugh that I got from that went some way towards him making amends for his Cuntitude.

          • I did hear that some months after a cave in at a South African mine… a female survivor, although now a lower limb amputee, burst into tears fearing she would end up ‘on the scrap heap’ …
            “Who in the world would want a one legged gold digger ?” …she wept.
            “Hang on a minute”…her friend said.. ” I’ll give Paul McCartney a call”….

          • All this talk of bleeding hearts and ” give us yer fucking money” cunt bawlers reminds me its Comic Relief on friday. A smorgasbord of all singing, all dancing cunts to choose from.

      • Bono and Geldoff were the ones that got us all to feed the world and cultivate the swarming mass of invaders the Tesco, BBC etc are encouraging after our women and even more lovely tax payers money. Now that a load of m have been generously set-up hear they still can’t stop breeding to the point that I still haven’t managed to see an Indian doctor.

        • It’s actually ’35 Year Old Sandwogs From The Calais Shitheap Masquerading As Children In Need’ this weekend…

          They will get fuck all from me…. Cunts…

      • Bono is a permanent dyed in the wool cunt, no question ,but for me ,Geldorf has risen to new levels of cuntishness. He is thick scruffy and miles up his arse. I hate his voice singing or talking ,I don’t believe a word the cunt says and the cunt who gave him a knighthood needs reaming with a chainsaw.
        He is a bogtrotting thicko who oversaw the ruination of his family and still is able to race up Mount Cunt with ease every time he speaks.
        I would pay large to see someone with fists like wrecking balls punch that cunt right in his stupid gob.

    • Is he finished and at the top of his game or has the cunt got more to cuntinesh to come.

      Maybe we will see some extreme cuntage of a level we couldn’t imagine possible.

      • Finished ?? Fuck no. According to scientists,the cockroach will be the only creature to survive a nuclear Armageddon…they’ve reckoned without Bono,who’ll still be spouting his self-important bollocks long after the rest of humanity has either died or been driven to suicide by having to listen to the self-appointed Irish Messiah.

      • He’s got age on his side. Another 20 odd years of opportunity. Not sure even Steven Hawkins can understand the full scope of his potential.

        • I don’t like that shopping trolley cyborg, Hawkins. I wouldn’t trust him not to deliberately drool into someone’s pint if he was next to them at the bar. Mongy Wanker.

          • Hawkins bases many of his theories on the assumption that nothing can equal the speed of light.

            What about the speed of dark…?

            Thick cunt….

  11. In the restaurant at their Dublin hotel they serve the Bono breakfast…the most self-important meal of the day….

    Fuckin’ cunt…

  12. One of the best Bono jokes I have heard
    What’s the difference between God and Bono?

    God does not think he’s Bono

  13. What is amazing (and thoroughly depressing) is how this talent-dodging midget continues year after year, burying his money anywhere he can and getting away with it. Then they release a new album of painfully dull excrement, marketed in a novel fashion, he buys another castle, astonishingly opines about World poverty and the hateful cycle is repeated.

    How to have a U2 hit song:-

    ▪ Only ever use the chords G, A minor, F or D.
    ▪ Try to make your guitar sound chimey.
    ▪ Sing about Love/Faith/A spiritual reference.
    ▪ Do a gurgly, vocal fry before the first line to sound soulish.
    ▪ Ensure you’ve jumped on the latest hackneyed politics to sound relevant.

    You almost have to admire how such people, bereft of creativity and devoid of shame, can continually play the system and fleece the public. Agreed about the Hall of Fame. If there were a Boulevard of Cunts, this loathsome, embarrassing, endlessly-puncheable turd would have his star sunk deep into the pavement.

    • You forgot to add that fucking monotonous simple, fast drum beat which is the same on every pudding song.

    • They actually do it the Dylan and Gallagher way but you’re near enough : G C D Em without moving your fingers off the third fret of the top two strings. Works a treat!

      Listen to Wonder wall or times they are a-changing and you’ll see what I mean. That’s why it sounds jangly.

    • How to do a U2: album by album…

      Album 1: Rip off Joy Division
      Album2: Rip off Bunnymen and The Associates
      Album 3: Rip off Gang Of Four and The Police
      Album 4: Rip off Talking Heads, Eno, and The Police (again)

      And so on…..

  14. A man who equals tony Blair for a lack of self awareness!, that’s no mean feat!
    Fuck you and your second rate band you orish Cunt!!
    I’ve seen him interviewed a few times and he appears to be nothing but a pseudo intellectual gobshite!!

  15. Bonio and his musical diddymen are responsible for the following ‘classics’:

    Pride (In The Name Of Cunt)
    Until The End Of The Cunt
    Where The Cunts Have No Name
    In God’s Cuntry
    With Or Without Cunt
    Cunting To Standstill
    The Unforgettable Cunt
    I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Cunting For
    Two Cunts Beat As One
    New Year’s Cunt
    Cunt Bloody Cunt
    11 O’ Cunt Tick Tock
    Cunt Part II
    All I Want Is Cunt
    Bullet The Blue Cunt
    Cunt Of Harlem
    When Cunt Comes To Town

      • Where the cunts have no name is about the only U2 song I liked and its the only song of theirs I illegally downloaded lol

        Yep they will make a killing from the tour don’t know how there deluded fans are gonna cough up the cash to see bonerhead sing what a life changing experience that will be… I can just imagine the inflated ticket prices to see them play half baked renditions of with or without you or the sweetest thing

        • I don’t know how much they make from touring as their leccy bill must be astronomical.

          All the shite he says about equality and making the world better doesn’t stop the egotistical cunt firing up a few thousand lightbulbs for each show.

  16. Bono is fuckin’ ace.
    Love the guy. A true superstar that pisses all over any English offering.
    The guys a philanthropist and just wants us all to live as “ONE”.
    The world needs more Bonos, i say. And plenty more of his music.
    His accent is amazing too.
    And his glasses.
    And his hats.
    And his jet airplanes.

    Bravo bono

  17. I remember that cringeworthy video, dedicated to (and featuring) Bonio’s Mrs… The song was ‘Sweetest Thing’… But ‘Hey Bulldog’ would have been more appropriate…

    • He wrote that years earlier after forgetting their wedding anniversary.

      Then cashed in on it when the latest greatest hits needed a “new” song to promote it.

      Utter tat!

      Boyzone were in the video and i know far too much about this for my liking.

  18. Off topic…..
    Just saw on sky news that North Korea could hit london with a nuclear missile within 12 months? after all the bad brexit news at last some good news…
    hopefully the BBC??
    Thoughts cunters?
    Personally I don’t think those Cunts could hit a cows arse with a banjo!!
    What will tango man and Trees (are green ) May do? …….

    • His dad was a filum buff and i believe that N Korea has nuffin other than an FX team.

      They supposedly fired a missile over japan last month and what happened next? NUFFIIIIIIN!

      Why waste money on nuclear weapons when you can make a cji 40 second grainy clip of their “threat”.

      Maybe I’m wrong. (I’m sure I’ll be fuckin’ telt)

      • Don’t think any cunt in Japan saw it either. Did any cunt go out and retrieve it or does DPRK sail round themselves?

        I’m assuming it has a device on board to record data seeing its all testing?

  19. A fucking men to that. The creep is indescribably egotistic and as for his ‘music’ – only estate agents are real U2 fans, total cunts’ music. If Bono won’t pay his way then simply just send him home or take his money. Better still the Cayman Islands Where the streets have no shame.

  20. Fat! strange haired! North Korean Cunt! ……..
    although undoubtedly a cunt of epic proportions I would love tango man to kick the fat gooks arse!! I’m sick and tired of fatties posturing….. 🚀💥

    • Also the fat gook should stop wearing £69.00 suits ( 2 sizes too small for him) from top shop!!
      Fuckin gobshite blow hard Cunt!
      Go tango man!!

  21. What can we take from this dire as fuck England v Brazil match?
    England have a Gomez playing for them and Brazil have a William.

    Oh, its fuckin’ dire an’ all.

    At least the Rep of Ireland are out. Heehee.

      • Has Gareth Southgate been over to France and raided the migrant camps for players? The recent England U17 World Cup winning team was even more culturally enriched with only three whites out of eleven. Strong Anglo-Saxon sounding names like Gomes, Eyoma, Sancho and Odoi with two cunts not even born here.

  22. Bugger me. Now official. The Ruskie cunts were responsible for Brexit and the following election result due to their dodgy tweets ect ect. Who would have thought it?

    • Indeed…The Russians of all people! Especially with that nice Mr Putrid in charge. You can’t trust anyone these days!

      • Why do wealthy Paddies morph into catastrophic cunts of the highest order ??? Micheal O’leary, Bonio and the Cunt of all Cunts Geldorf is handing back his freedom of Dublin or whatever in protest of Peaceful cunts being kicked out of Myanmar. Well i don’t see the loathsome cunt handing back his Knighthood or taking any cunts into his home ?
        Listen Cuntdorf keep your Irish snout out of things that dont concern you.

        • There are others… Eamonn Dunphy, Bonio’s horrendous Mrs, Cunt De Burgh, Michael Flatley (well he’s a Plastic Paddy anyway), that daft cow who suddenly thinks that being in Father Ted was beneath her, Ed Byrne, Diarrhoea O’ Brain (or whatever he’s called)… All cunts…

          • Don’t forget the tax-dodging cunts from Mrs. Brown’s Boys!!

            That fucker who plays the matriarch definitely looks like he has one chromosome too many.

          • Oh fuck off May you incompetent cunt! Russian Elite hackers didn’t hack our democracy you are just a stunned cunt

  23. And dose Oirish feckers are not goin’ te de Wor-eld Cup…. Tis a shame now…

    Wonder where all the celebricunt Potatoland fans are now?.. You know: the cunts who all crawled out of the woodwork and suddenly discovered football when Jack ‘Dirty ex-Leeds cunt’ Charlton got his (mainly not Irish) mob to Italia 90 and USA 94? And that includes those U2 cunts (who were suddenly ‘lifelong’ Potatoland fans after 1990!)…. They don’t seem so supportive of the Oirlund team bow they’re shit again… Cunts….

  24. The EU liberals have been looking for something/ someone to hang their brexit defeat on since they lost what they thought was a foregone conclusion!! FUCK YOU EU…
    Look at all their interference??

  25. People who pretend they employ workers from the EU other than to save money…….Yeah, them cunts…..

  26. What gets overshadowed by the monolithic cuntitude exuded from Bono is that both ‘The Edge’ and Adam Clayton are also massive cunts of the first order.

    Anyone who calls themselves ‘The Edge’ really can sit back and retire on that one act of rich cuntishness.

    • Apparently the drummer is an OK bloke though and not a cunt… I suppose every band has a non-cunt in their ranks (John Paul Jones, Charlie Watts, Mani, and George Harrison was the Beatle who was least a cunt)…

      • Actually, the Beatle who wasn’t a cunt was Pete Best… George used to whine about being in the biggest band in the world and being married to Patti Boyd(?!), John was a cunt for many reasons (especially for unleashing Yoko on the world!), Macca we all know about, and I think Ringo is a cunt because his solo records are shite and he constantly shagged ‘Spy Who Loved Me’ era Barbara Bach…

        • Ringo certainly sailed under a lucky Starr !!
          Not the greatest drummer
          Utterly devoid of any real talent
          Solo work ? Say no more
          Gets to make millions and knock the Bach doors of Barbara!
          Who’s a lucky boy……….

          • John lennon was the least cuntish beatle he generally wrote the best songs for the band but then he met Yoko and the rest is cunting history… George hated fame couldn’t really handle it he then got into hindu guru cult and that went to his head I think….

            I agree Norm not a big fan of Ringos solo albums either tho I thought the songs back off boogaloo and I’m the greatest was good apparently both are a swipe at MACA

          • Paul bloody McCartney. One of the most miserable tight fisted cunts I’ve ever met – and that’s saying something. Cunt never stood his round.

            I laughed myself silly when Heather Mills took him to cleaners. Good on ya girl!

            I’m sure Limply will bear me out on this. Fucking tight as a fish’s arse

          • John Lennon ‘Imagine’ almost as cuntish as ‘Mull of Kuntyre’

            Pete Best would also have been a huge cunt had George Martin not spared the world by kicking him out.

      • Without The Beatles I’d have topped myself by the age of 14. Without Hendrix and The Mothers, and Trout Mask Replica, I’d be pushing up the daisies by the age of 18.

        Without Krautrock I would not have lived to vote YES in the 1975 Common Market Referendum, ha ha!

        Since then I’ve existed only on life support…

          • Good man, Blue van – little did we know in those halcyon days what utter shite lay ahead!

            Don’t remember much about butter, except EEC apparently had mountains made of the rancid muck.

            Think I voted YES in the hope that hardcore ‘continental’ pornography would flood the UK market…!

  27. Double bugger me, just heard they have voted for sodamite marriage in Aus, the land orf “no pooftahs”.

  28. Always a tough call to decide between the cuntititude of Bono, Geldof and Sting, they may be bland and live forever but most most modern music makers have the decency to shut up and not think they are the best candidate to tell us what we should think, or do (lilymong excepted)

    On another note I would like to nominate the CQC (care quality commission) for a cunting. This weird little quango seems to hold the purse strings for GPs and rewards them for how many asthma reviews, blood pressure tests etc they can perform. As a result I get to held to ransom every 12 months where I as a an asthma sufferer, have to have an asthma review every 12 months in order to renew my prescription for my inhaler.

    Two facts here, A) there is no cure for asthma, so I am not going to be cured in the last 12 months, B) My inhaler costs the NHS around £1.50 and I have to pay around £8 for it so the NHS is profiting from it. So why the fuck make me make an appointment, taking up mine, and the doctors time to have a patronising review where I am asked if I can demonstrate I know how to use an inhaler (I;m alive, it is self evident FFS)

    Then I am asked if they can test my blood pressure, because they get a bonus from the CQC for that too, plus better scores on their score card. To which my response is always no, fuck em

    Here is my idea for the NHS. I get an inhaler when I need it, without an annual appointment to see if I have suddenly forgotten how to use an inhaler. If I am concerned about blood pressure I will make an appointment to see a doctor (although aforementioned points raise my blood pressure so it is a win win)

    This will save around 6 million appointments a year, which has to be a good thing. As Lord Benny previously posted, it would free up doctors to deal with more important things such as mental health issues. Not that they would give a fuck, because CQC don’t pay them for that

    • I’ve just had a visit from those fuckin cunts CQC, these jumped up little Hitlers are making us all pay for the fuck ups they have made themselves. Putting absurd legislation in place that’s completely non productive and expensive. I can’t cunt them enough.

    • Utter cunt held in high regard by tower block inhabiting peaceful religion worshipers aka the Grenfellians.

      ECD, emergency cunt deserving for St Emma, the Patron saint of Grenfell.

  29. Jaysus, is Nobo a cunt, or what? Even at the tender age I was at time, I remember seeing him on Top o’the Pops c. 1980 and found his preening “I’m just so fantastic, me” narcissism toe-curlingly cringe-worthy.

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