Hislop and ‘The Wipers Times’
Settled doine in front orf telly with a nice single malt to pay me respects to the memory orf the fallen in the battle with the greatest carnage count in WW1. Indeed Passchendaele remains unsurpassed to this day. Then up pops the slap head cunt Hislop to do a promo on his crappy play ‘The Wipers Times’ (for those cunters ignorent “Wipers” was what British troops called Ypres). Amidst the mud and gas our brave lads took to publishing a newspaper to generally take the piss and boost morale. According to Hislop it was very funny in an anarchic British way, a sort orf ISAC for the trenches. Some orf it was then staged in front orf Ypres Town Hall for assembled dignitaries and public. Went doine like a lead balloon or indeed like shrapnel in the groin before the watching millions ont telly.
The bint doing the commentary went orn to mark our cards with further plugs for Hislop’s shite with the warning that it would shortly be touring to a theatre near you. If Hislop believes himself to be a writer orf dramatic worth then sadly he is delusional. No help to him that a section of the infinitely superior ‘War Horse’ was also performed but to great acclaim. Perhaps Mr Hislop should consider a modification orf his title to the ‘Wipe Arse Times’. Then his poor public will be better prepared.
From Our Drama Critic, Sir Limply Stoke