Electric cars


The future’s green. The future’s electric according to Michael Gove (see cunts passim) our esteemed Secretary of State for the Environment. By 2040, it will be illegal to buy a petrol or diesel vehicle.

Who the fuck are you kidding Mike? Just answer the following questions :

1. How are you going to generate the extra electricity?

2. How are you going to roll out enough charging points?

3. How am I going to drive from London to Edinburgh without a couple of hours break to recharge?

4. How much pollution will the new power stations pump out?

5. How much disruption is going to be generated while we’re laying the cables out to the charging points?

6. How long do the batteries last and how much will it cost motorists to replace them when they expire?

7. How are you going to cope with the lobbyists from the petrol and oil companies?

8. How much more will electricity cost to pay for the infrastructure?

9. How will you react to the riots from motorists which will make the poll tax look like a picnic?

Let’s face it, this will never happen. It’s complete bollocks. The cars ain’t fit for purpose, the infrastructure ain’t there and the public will never stand for it. Still, it keeps the eco-cunts quite for a year or two before it’s abandoned – sorry, delayed.

Gove, you’re a cunt and you’re talking shite.

Nominated by Dioclese

114 thoughts on “Electric cars

  1. Turn off the telly rather than leave it on standby.
    Unplug all appliances.
    Only boil a kettle with the minimum amount of water needed.
    But buy an electric car?

    Where will i plug it in?
    My sockets are full up with all our mobiles and laptops.

    A few years ago they were rabid about the public saving electricity, even though Las Vegas is lit up like the Blackpool illuminations, yet I’m forever charging stuff.

    • I bought one of them radios that looks like a speaker recently and you can’t plug it in or put batteries in it, you have to charge it.
      The snag is, you cant use it and charge it at the same time and it takes five hours to fully charge.

      It was advertized for use at the beach. Hhmmmmm.

        • Fucking thing would be a write off the first time it tried to drive over a speed bump.

          • I used to live in Reading where there was a Porsche dealership. They put speed bumps on the access road and the Porsches couldn’t get over them. Made I larf…

        • Like all things Apple it’ll look great and perform shite!

          My Dad used to always have a saying: “Never pick form over function.”

  2. “4. How much pollution will the new power stations pump out?”
    This is the point always left out of the argument. The usual style of scientific/technological willful ignorance these companies are guilty of in their press releases gets very fucking tiresome.

    Electric cars are simply swapping emissions from end user to source. Gove also fails to mention how larger vehicles like vans will operate on electricity; too big for economical electrical operation and too small for fuel-cell (or similar) technology. Just another fucking buzzword and fad. Until there is a complete technological revolution in energy and energy storage, vehicles will continue to rely on petrol.

    Michael Gove is morphing into an absolute fucking solid wall of cunt. In between his jobs as cunt and professional POB lookalike, Gove blasts verbal diarrhoea in all directions, sparing no-one from burial under its flow. Someone give this boot-lipped fuckhead the very basics on energy principles, please?

  3. Apparently the new power stations will be nuclear. Apparently it’s green? What about the waste they produce? Thick fucking cunts

  4. We’ll be back to Fred Flintstone style cars before much longer. All this “Save the Planet” bollocks is of no interest to me, I couldn’t care less what happens when I’m gone. I’ll continue to drive the gas-guzzlers,belching out smoke (both me and the vehicle.) for as long as I can. No electric Noddymobile for me. I’ll be in my seventies by 2040 and plan to be a terrible burden on the state. They can give me an electric-powered cripple-chariot then.

  5. Okay – to be fair, it’s not just electric cars, hybrids are included too. As for generating the electricity; well between now & 2040, the amount of stuff generated by renewables will increase dramatically. I’m not necessarily in favour of that myself, but it does answer your question. What gets me is that the drive (sic) towards autonomous, electric stuff leaves no room for my preferred mode of transport – the good old motorcycle. They make sense, less space needed on the road and to park, less raw material needed to produce, way more fun than a car and, on avergae, cheaper to buy and run than even a hybrid or electric car. The future should be 2 wheeled not 4.

    • Your average moped / 125 must be knocking on 100 mpg by now, easily, … How many cunts do you see drive to work in a car occupied only by the driver ? ..get these Cunts on a Honda C50/70/90 …
      But what’s the Govt. incentive (?) .. it boils my fucking piss, that any motorbike user ( with the road surface, damage, is less than the palm of your hand ) is charged road tax, when a fucking JCB Fastrac pulling a 15 / 20 ton trailer, with a young retard farm boy driver, flat out everywhere, can of Red Bull in hand, is knocking fuck out of every road, pays zilch / zero road tax. Cunts.

  6. Well cunted Dioclese.

    If they did manage to somehow roll out this Philip K. Dick of an idea it would collapse in on itself within three unsustainable months. The points you raise are exceptionally valid. Jut how the fuck does he propose to make the project sustainable? Simple. he doesn’t. He doesn’t actually envisage a workable end product any more than the average div on the street does. It just sounds good in principle and that’s enough for a wannabe-high-end cunt like him.

    I’ve always thought he was a cunt but for me this just clarifies it beyond all reasonable doubt. Someone needs to strap that cunt into a 4 litre petrol Range Rover and feed a hosepipe in from the exhaust.

    You won’t get finales like that on electric.

    • The traction current involved in most elecrtic carts would produce a more than adequate barbie. Chris Evans, the cunt, should be a crash-test dummy…

  7. I heard about this crap when I got up this morning. I honestly thought I had travelled back, in time to 1st April! It is not often I hear such complete bollocks and such high quality bollocks at that. The green gestapo are doubtless wanking themselves into a frenzy over this platinum plated crap. For hundreds of years we have made our journey from the swamp to the stars but today they want to drag us back to the middle ages staring at the arse of a horse as we plebs go back to horse and cart while our green overlords are whisked from wankfest to wankfest in private jets, trains and cars that may actually work. The technology and infrastructure required for this idiotic canard simply do not exist and will not, probably in our lifetimes.

  8. one point not mentioned is the loss of revenue for the government from petrol and diesel tax, i think it amounts to Β£28 billion a year. guess who will be making up that shortfall?

    • As well as a cunt of a price hike in electricity charges .. (no pun intended) .. and it’s not as if the present Govt. is controlling the energy companies obscene profits at the moment.
      The electricity providers will be thinking all their Christmases have come at once.

    • Don’t worry about that, the Cunts will put every tax known to man on the electric charge points!!!!

  9. The Green Party say it’s good news but doesn’t go far enough. All houses must be wattle and daub and sandals (vegan, natch) will be compulsory. Charging points must be every 20 feet housed in yirts. The electricity generated must be organic and gluten free.
    Whenever shit like this comes up there are unforeseen consequences. Electricity supply is obviously a concern but there will undoubtedly be other problems. Supply of the rare earths that make the batteries comes to mind. From China I think. What could possibly go wrong? Disposal of them. The fact that making them is carbon intensive.
    We are governed by fuckwits.

      • If you’re ever in Switzerland, don’t go fishing at Lake Neuchatel.
        The old Leclanche battery factory is adjacent: guess where any unwanted heavy metals got dumped.
        On top of that (literally) it was used as a dumping ground for the Swiss arsenal of chemical weapons…

    • Saw some “environmental lawyer” on the box this pm; so he’s a cunt squared…

    • Conflicted on this one. With all the bollocks implied in the policy,
      (a) I won’t be driving anything faster than a zimmer frame by 2040 and will have sold my 1000 cc sports bike some time before that.
      (b) Anything, ANYTHING that gets this desperate nation of cunts off its dependency on funny money, its arse, and its uppers is better than nothing. Investment in innovation and manufacturing can’t be bad. and to get a useable product there will have to be plenty.
      But yes, there are far too many people, and yes, Gove’s a hypercunt, and yes, this is just a bit of spin from the people who brought you the housing bubble. And if we stay with lithium, most of it’s in once or future war zones, so hang on to your hats.

  10. Agree with the majority of this; especially re the Slithy Gove, a nasty little stain on the toilet-rim of humanity. However, although I’m a dyed-in-the-wool pessimist and cynic (usually a good way of not being TOO disappointed), I am oddly optimistic. Back in May, ST40, UK’s newest FUSION reactor, managed to achieve “first plasma” (almost sounds…sexy??). If this can be got up to industrial levels, then power production is, or should be, cleaner, cheaper, hopefully (more naivety from yours truly here…) less political, as sand”&%s only required for barest minimum of crude supplies.

    But, as Dio so rightly said, just the minor issue of getting charging points installed from Land’s End to John O’Groats, and all points E & W; not to mention re-stringing the entire National Grid, which will otherwise look like a firework display when we all plug in our electric carts.
    I’ve got my eye on a Morgan 3-wheeler, two-seater electric. Apart from my presence in the driving seat, you might almost describe it as a “fanny electro-magnet”
    But, until these minor issues are sorted, I’m afraid it’s “Piss in the tank, and it’s good for another fifty miles”
    Could provide a good excuse, though…”Sorry, I’ll be a bit late: charging up the cart.

    • If we’d ploughed as much money into fusion as we’ve pissed up the wall on bird mincers we’d have cracked by now.

      Off topic, I see we’re ramping up for a major charity appeal about Yemen, wheeling out the starving stick insect kiddies for the cameras. I notice their parents don’t seem to be suffering similarly.

      Fuck ’em. Let ’em starve. Not my problem, don’t care and they’ll get fuck all from me…

      • ‘I notice their parents don’t seem to be suffering similarly’

        Never noticed that before but thinking back, yer right.

        The cats out the bag (and into the pot).

      • Glass over Yemen, home of that cunt of universal proportions, Keith Vazeline…

        • Same with the starving African kids. Their parents are bigger than me and I’m 14 stone

      • I’ve already sent my old duvet and assorted broken electrical appliances……. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      • Your average EV can go 16 miles on 4kwh (20 miles on 7.5kwh)- so that’s on the electricity used to just to refine that gallon of gas, nevermind the energy used to extract and transport the oil, and the tailpipe emission.

      • I read that insects were going to be a huge source of protein in the future. Apparently they’re very nutritious. You’d think,if it’s true,that the sambos would be as fat as butter. They could just sit like the monkeys do and pick the flies off each other…probably too lazy to even do that.

  11. We barely have enough supply as it is. Our electricity supply is not only at it’s limit it’s basically skirting around possible brown outs.
    Too many people. 100 million by then?
    We need imported fuel and renewable ain’t going to cut it.
    Got to go Thorium as soon as possible.
    We’ve been let down by governments for years with it’s hopeless energy plan.

    • Indeed, thorium is the obvious way forward. Intrinsically safe, even with complete loss of coolant, a fused salt thorium fission reactor does not produce nasty long-lived isotopes (which is why, although designed in the 1960s, it was never developed, as there’s no military interest). Thorium is abundant – the spoil heaps from mining rare-earth elements used in high-power batteries etc are mostly thorium. Thankfully the Chinese & Indians are now developing these reactors, so world energy supplies will be boosted within 15 years.

      • Indeed but it should have been the UK at the front of thorium engineering.
        Typical shortsighted wooly thinking from those in charge.
        The idea that we will have to pay India or China for this technology really is a kick in the balls.

        And the West has already lost the 21st century to China.
        They are rapaciously sweeping up all the Kreep’ s in Africa to dominate the market.

  12. I know we live in a world that is rammed full of cunts, those whose decisions have great impact on our lives, and never for the better. Then there are those who use what pathetic excuse they have for being a celeb to champion causes that create division with poorly thought through idealisms that would erode the very fabric of our civilisation if implemented. But, every now and again, it’s nice to just kick back, and cunt someone who barely makes it on to most people’s radar, but can send you apoplectic with rage, for seemingly no reason. So, just for therapeutic reasons here goes.
    That bloke on the Plus Net adverts is a fucking annoying CUNT!!!!!

    I can usually dodge the fucking smug faced wanker on the TV ads because I rarely watch live Tv, and one of the few joys of twenty first century living is the ability to fast forward the ads on the trusty old Dvr. However, we now have to suffer a radio in my workplace, and it’s tuned to a shitty commercial station, where between shit music, the ads come thick and fast. And being aimed at the lowest common denominator, anybody with the IQ above a slug is going to find them annoying the first time you hear them, so twenty times a day is going to slowly melt your brain. This portly mong, obviously the result of a half arsed search for a pound shop Jason Manford, is never going to turn my frown upside down. Quite frankly, the only thing I’d willingly watch him in is an Isis execution video. Sorry for the rant, but it’s been a long day.
    Oh, and that fucking Travelodge advert grinds right up my shitpipe too. And fuck off with your PPI, you cunts……

  13. Great cunting dio……
    it’s utter shite!! As usual it’s a sledgehammer to crack a walnut stuff!! Everyone is too frightened to mention the elephant in the room!, over population of the planet!! It’s totally unsustainable but on we plough looking for the next big thing to save the world!!.
    Electric cars are fucking shite!!, wind farms too, at some point the Cunts will have to face the unpalatable truth!, too many people, not enough resources!!..

  14. Err, how are we expected to be a non EU, world player when the US of A will never give up their gas guzzlers? What will become of the petrochem industry and all those employed?

    This is the biggest load of greenwash choadstuff from that village prick and all round fucking simpleton, Gove.

    India and China must be cocking themselves with laughter at the announcement.

    • Seriously can you imagine Americans riding around in milk floats?? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      • The lazy fat Cunts already do. They use them to shift their lard-arses between “all you can eat” restaurants.

        • Has anyone else noticed the shit loads of mobility scooters ON THE FUCKIN ROAD?
          The cunts used to stick to the pavement but lately they seem to be in the road, holding up traffic.
          Cunts.

        • Sad to inform you that it’s the UK with an obesity problem more visible than the US.
          Well in Texas and Oklahoma at any rate.

      • California …maybe, Texas …. never.
        Isn’t it part of the American constitution … ‘You have the right to burn up as much fossile fuels through a V8 engine, as you possibly can’. Hell Yeah !

  15. What a load of bollocks, can you imagine how busy the RAC, etc will be when all the dumb cunts run out of charge, and what happens when some cunt breaks down on the motorway and can’t charge the car.
    I bet that cunt Gove get chauffeured around in a 6 litre Jag the cunt.

    • Bullet proofed to the cunt!!
      Does about 4 MPG…… He would be as economical in a challenger tank!! πŸ˜‚…..:
      Goves a 24 carat cunt……….

  16. It isn’t that long ago that they were urging everyone to buy a diesel car because they caused less emissions. Probably have the same with this..everyone forced to buy electric,and then they’ll announce that,actually,electricity production is bad and everyone should switch to chicken-shit or something for fuel.

    • I think that was under labour?? , didn’t they offer a scrap scheme on your old car??
      It’s all a load of utter bollocks!!
      I’m not buying a fucking milk float!! …..

  17. Well cunted dio. In many ways I agree with this cunting and yes, gove is a cunt but the sooner we can tell the sand people to stick their oil up their arses the better.

    I’d fuck off hs2 and invest the money in electric driverless cars and the infrastructure to support them.

    All powered by good old radioactivity …sorry, NON CHINESE OWNED good old radioactivity.

    • Spot on, DTS. Sand people are the No. 1 reason for me wanting to find a CREDIBLE alternative energy source: these cunts have had us over a barrel (no pun intended) for far too long, and so much shite has kicked off because of it.
      Same with HS2, just a heap of old toss, duplicating most of the network, also being done when current electric rail traction technology might well be overtaken by something about twice as fast. Just watch the estimated cost go through the ceiling…
      If we wanted to use the rail network in GB to its full extent, there’s a lot of potential for improving access to towns that were left cut off the network deliberately or, in some areas, using old freight lines. If the track is already there, that’s a bit of a help…

  18. Just watching the womens football on the telly. They might all be lezzas,but some of them are bloody smart. It’s actually quite entertaining. Plus there’s no fucking Lineker or Shearer,although I did see that gibbering simpleton,Ian Wright giving his views the other night…..Oh,fuck…That Clare Balding fella’s just popped up, I’ll have to find the remote.

  19. Great cunting Dioclese.

    Unbelievable though isn’t it?
    Fucking electric cars and ban everything else. It can’t happen for all the reasons you splendid cunters have already stated.
    What the actual fuck is going on? This is the sort of pie inthe sky bollocks you’d expect from the Green save the planet left wing spastics, not the tories. Fucking hell, It’s nearly beyond cunting it’s so fucking STUPID!!!!

  20. All this talk about emissions…
    If Wycliffe’s on later, I shall watch out for Lucy Lane and have a nocturnal-e…

  21. I’d like to nominate political correctness for a cunting.
    Today my thirteen year old daughter said to me indignantly
    ”Dad, do you know that President Trump won’t let trans gender people join the American armed forces?”
    She was rather shocked when my reply was simply ”Good”.
    To tell you the truth, it shocked me as well because I managed to resist adding
    ”The cunts shouldn’t be allowed oxygen let alone anything else”.

    My point is, that she can think what she likes, but what really pisses me off is the fact that whatever politically correct bollocks is spouted or changed into law then EVERYONE must automatically not just agree or go along with it, but ’embrace and encourage it too.
    We have genuinely reached a point where unless our views are so completely left wing and politically correct then we’re not allowed to have them because we might just offend someone.
    I know this nomination isn’t exactly ground breaking but fuck it boils my piss.

    • Anyone who doesnt subscribe to PC bollocks is now a fascist who worships Hitler.Egged on to kids by the socialist education system.

      Giving easy access to guns to a group with a 48% suicide rate is just not smart.

    • I don’t see what Donald’s problem is with transgender people in the army.

      Is the problem that should a transgender woman be in the male army where she’d be banged, or should a transgender man be in the women’s army where he\she would try to bang every bit of skirt, or should a transgender man be in the male army where he\she would cop more pokes than at a wharfie’s barbecue? I’ll be buggered… this is confusing.

      Transgender people could be a considerable benefit in a concert party, like Gloria in “It Ain’t Half Islamic, Mum”.

  22. The Nissan Leaf for example can only do 106 miles on a full charge and they try to get you to buy the battery insurance as well. If 10 cells need to be replaced in the middle of the 2000 battery pack they scrap the whole fucking lot.

    Until an electric car can do 500 miles on a full charge, and fully charge in 4 minutes I’m not interested in an electric box of shite.

    The chemicals involved in making batteries are harsh and at the moment the batteries can’t be recycled. Half of the lithium is mined in Chile and probably mined by poor people with no environmental protection or safe working practices. The pollution caused by the power stations is another major problem the environmentalists don’t want to answer. Cunts.

    • Very good point AP. Another thought that I have just had is, if all this Lithium is going for batteries what the fuck will they put in my meds instead!! Worrying thought for someone such as myself belonging to a minority group that no one gives two fucks about unless they are a sleb attempting to cover up a drink and marching powder addiction. Times like this the family motto comes in handy “Aut vincam aut periam”

  23. The steam engine should have been subject to the same intensive development that the petrol engine was.
    Then we could have been ripped off six quid a gallon for fucking water instead.
    Expect harsh financial penalties for using a motorcycle or older car, to penalise you for not buying a new eco crapmobile.
    I bet the Hells Angels and other assorted “Gentlemen’s Clubs” don’t take it too well…

    • The steam engine. Thought of, designed by and built by men who didn’t allow government anywhere near them.

  24. The obvious answer to the problem is transport powered by bullshit. If one can work out a way of transforming the endless amounts of bullshit spouted by our “leaders” into a viable energy source intersteller travel in spaceships bigger than Birmingham would be as easy as fucking up a country. Cunts.

    • The Gove, powered by his own bullshit, would be at the bottom of the world’s deepest ocean in a nanosecond.

      How very appropriate for such a slimy bottom-feeder.

  25. Haven’t posted for a while because I’ve had a bastard cold these last few days.

    I have to say I’m not sure about this Mr Dioclese. I think we need to move to a carbon-free economy as soon as possible. I know a lot of cunters are skeptical about climate change but moving away from burning carbon would be beneficial on so many levels. It would also allow us to tell the Arabs to go fuck themselves and their shitty religion.

    The Yanks spent $2billion 1940s dollars on an atomic bomb that they used twice. We need a Manhattan Project for the 21st century to make solar power cheap, efficient and storable in batteries that don’t fuck the environment in the ass.

  26. Nomination: KPFA.

    KPFA is a Yank radio station that has withdrawn an invitation for Richard Dawkins to make a speech because he is guilty of “abusive” and “hurtful” tweets against Muslims. Now I know Dawkins is a bit of smug arsehole and a Remainiac to boot but when it comes to religion he is spot on. All the media cunts loved this Oxford cunt when he was slagging off Christianity but as soon as he started on Islam they started saying he’s a waycist.

    Judaism, Christianity and Islam are essentially the same religion – an omnipotent sky fairy who knew about you before you were born is going to fuck you up (eternally) if you don’t follow his rules. If it is racist to slag off Islam then it is also racist to slag off Judaism and Christianity.

    Some cunters have suggested we should start out own ISAC political party. Fuck that, we should be a religion then whatever cuntishness we get up to will be excused by the cunts at the BBC and the fucking Guardian.

    Cunts.

    https://mikesplace2017.wordpress.com/2017/07/27/freedom-of-speech-is-not-blasphemy/

  27. Ffs ! ‘Experts’ eh? Just what the fuck are we supposed to believe? For as long as I’ve been alive the the ‘experts’ have told us we MUST finish a course of antibiotics now apparently that’s a load of old bollocks, it doesn’t matter if you don’t finish your course, in fact doing that might be doing more harm than good. Why the fuck should we believe anything these fuckin experts try to tell us?

  28. Mark Gatiss is a cunt…. Once part of the excellent League Of Gentlemen, Gatiss has become more successful and high profile then the other two gentlemen and is now another favoured child of the ABBC (and we all know why that is!)… He has become the ‘go-to’ guy for all things horror and sci-fi at the ABBC… I watched his show on the history of James Bond, and all he did was bitch about Connery’s tan and eyeliner…. Then there is the horrendous Sherlock…. A promising idea, but ruined by the convoluted egowanks of Moffatt and Gatiss…. He hogged the show and was in virtually every episode (when in the Conan Doyle stories, Mycroft was a strong but occasional presence)… The show is called Sherlock, not Sherlock’s brother (or Watson’s wife for that matter)… Also ruined Doctor Who alongside Moffatt and turned it into a PC pooves and lezzas soapox (not to mention all the man hating)… Now for Peter Capaldi’s last stand, Gatiss has put himself on the star billing alongside Capaldi and David Bradley…. Don’t recall Terance Dicks ever doing that (or feeling the need to)… Aside from their absurd PC obsessed stories, the self importance of the ‘Grand Moff’ and Gatiss grates and ‘their shows’ (as Moffat once said) are as more about them than they are Doctor Who and Sherlock Holmes…

  29. By 2040 shouldn’t we all have jetpacks and transporters anyway?

    Oh. And Gove is a cunt.

  30. Can’t see Esso, Shell, Mobil, BP etc rolling over and taking this shit from Slimeball Gove….
    Also, will it apply to everything, or just target the working man (like they always do)?…
    Will the Queen/Royals give up their collection of Rollers and Limos? Will there be an all electric Formula 1? Gove obviously hasn’t thought this through and he is a total cunt….

    On the plus side though, if there ever comes a time when we don’t need oil from the muzzie dictatorships, we could bomb the shit out of them and wipe out the plague that is Muslam terrorism and the scum sandwogs that fund them…

  31. A bit of an impromptu cunting for the Essex-ification of British fucking TV. Apologies in advance if anyone hails from Essex – before arranging my lynching please remember that this cunting is exclusively reserved for ‘celebrities’, presenters and assorted wannabes.

    With that out of the way, let’s start as we fucking mean to go on shall we – this phenomenon has been the scourge of free-to-air broadcast viewing across the last 3-4 years, principally due to ITV’s bargain basement output. It seems to me that Essex has disproportionate representation on mainstream TV – why? These fuckers appear to be the most fame-hungry of any in the UK. Reality TV is flooded with them – and watching these cunts wrap their infuriating estuary vowels exaggeratedly over every fucking word drives me Tucker-esque; constantly fighting the manic fucking urge to tear off my eyelids, scrunch them up and use them as earplugs.

    The obvious, grotesque, enormous elephant in the fucking room – no, not Gemma Collins – but the shitty fucking wankfest of a programme which gave birth to her, TOWIE. The excessive posturing from these cunts demands militant torture methods to be employed on the fucking double. I once worked with a guy whose nickname was Arg. This programme is so toxically cuntish, that I consigned this otherwise decent chap as an extreme cunt, purely due to the association with his TOWIE namesake.

    Christ have mercy on my cunting soul, if only it stopped there. TOWIE is just the resultant reality TV verruca on the diseased footprint from this Essexification; marching unstoppably across prime fucking time TV. Everywhere you fucking look – Jeff Brazier, Stacy Solomon, that frumpy shitcunt who won X-Factor, Adele, Olly Murs, Joe Swash, Mark Wright, Ferne McCann, Joey Cuntfuck, Dominic Littlewood (that bald fucking dwarven cunt truly makes my shit hang sideways!), Dermot O’Leary, Russell Brand, Jade Goody (don’t rest in peace, you thick fucking cunt), Alan Davies, endless Apprentice contestants…

    The sheer cuntitude on that list alone is more radioactive than weapons-grade plutonium. But special mention must go to professional slut and all-around shitcunt, Katie Price (as well as her equally-diseased imitation, Jodie Marsh). This fucking cunt, even relative to her Essex brethren, is a stratospheric cunt of biblical proportions. The epitome of zero talent trash with tits, I was hoping we would see the last of her when her tits actually started to rot. But no – a few pay-cheques from Loose Stool Women ensured her necrosing baps were fixed up, and she is back in the fucking saddle, like some kind of shitcunt Terminator.

    Last word to Rylan Clark. Holy fuck, this insufferable cunt – complete with almost cartoon-tier veneers and an appetite for shirt-lifting that even exceeds his obvious inspiration, George Michael – really sums up everything that is wrong with modern TV, full stop. Someone who pretended to want to be a shit singer, simply as a gateway into TV stardom. This man has less talent than a paraplegic with locked-in syndrome, and arguably less appeal. I cannot begin describe the sheer brutality that I wish upon his person every time the camera flashes on his blindingly bright Hampstead Heaths. Hopefully the midwife slapped this cunt’s mother repeatedly for unleashing such a fucking excremental smear of a human being upon the world.

    TV ‘personalities’ from Essex, you are all high-ranking cuntlords.

    • Couldn’t agree more, ECB…. I bet most of the plastic titted whores and scummy blokes off Slut Island are from Essex too….

      And you’re right about Jade Goody… She was scum… Illness or no illness (which was milked shamelessly by her and her ‘people’), she was a steaming pile of scum…

      • I see that perennial diversity BBC favourite Adil Ray of Citizen Khan fame,though I don’t know any fucker that watches it,is the subject of Who Do You Think You Are ? this evening. Couldn’t have put it better myself. Those cunts at the BBC don’t do irony do they?

    • Hey, I’ve got family in Essex and you can slag them off without knowing them………………and get it spot on.
      The last time i went to visit the cunts i got lost ( my cousin was meant to meet me at the pub) and when i phoned for directions, the cunt of a cousin said “dan’t cam daaaaan ere with your northern attitude”
      The cunts originally from Leicester.

      I got a taxi back to the train station, went home and never spoke to the cunts again.

      I think you are right in your assessment of Essex folk, but gorgeous, funny, lovely, Stacey Solomon will always have my heart.

    • Spot on, TECB.

      Have to disagree on one tiny point… verruca on the footprint ?
      More like chancre on the syphilitic knob !

      Sir, your cuntings are Shakespearean in their power…

    • Dominic Littlecock is a massive cunt. I think I’ve posted this before, but he used to present some shitfest where he would try and get discounts on high street goods.

      The dopey fucking prick would go in to Dixons and buy a Β£1000 TV, for Β£999, then come out out and tell us what a diamond geezer he is.

      No, Dominic, you a diamond cunt.

  32. Honey G is a lesbiaaaaaaaaan
    Scrap that, Honey G is a topless lesbiaaaaaaaaaaan

    Jeezuz fuckin wept.
    Its in the Sun with its nips covered.
    I’m going to try and wank over it later.
    Might take a while, but her getting them out has presented me with a challenge.

    Topless pics of lesbians should be easy to spuff over.
    Shouldn’t it? πŸ™‚

    • The things some cunts will do to gain an extra few minutes of celebrity and publicity…. I for one will net be going anywhere near any topless Honey G pics… Like Big AL from Happy Days with tits…

    • We fucking better have …. I intend to have a fuck off V8 in my mobility scooter … none of this 12/24 volt efforts. You won’t need to hear a horn when I’m about to clatter your shins coming up the shopping precinct. A couple of ‘cherry bombs’ and a 5.7 Hemi.

  33. The cunts will have to take the keys to my Austin Healey from my cold dead hands.

    I’m all up for a last drive down the M1 , the cops on their electric trikes will probably run out of energy at Junction 20, so I will keep going till I make it to the coast

    • Along the Brighton and Hove coast they are erecting these fuckin Wind Turbines, and what a fuckin eyesore these dam things are. These inefficient monsters are costing us a fortune in taxation. Petrol Diesel coal and nuclear power is the way forward… Bring it on and fuck the Smug Green cunts.

      • How much concrete and steel does it take to make one of those fuckers.

        And they are all made in Germany, be better if they were Swastiker shaped

        • The elephant in the room is overpopulation… We can recycle and be Green as much as we like, Whats happening to the environment are just symptoms of the problem. The rate that world population is rising especially amongst the African and Peaceful population simply wont be sustainable in another 50 years or less.
          Check out here what Richard Attenborough has to say
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2l9zirh0H4Y

          • They’ll inbreed themselves to death. Then we have to pay aid for them breeding like rabbits. How about fuck off?

  34. I heard earlier that the police and the security services are being blamed for not doing enough to stop two brothers from Brighton flying to Syria, where they both died fighting for Isis. Apparently, their older brother had already fled to the war torn shit hole, and no one was there to stop them being radicalised, and following in his footsteps. How about their parents? Stopping the cunts going shouldn’t be a priority, it’s stopping them coming back that should be inforced, and no exceptions. All those dumb schoolgirls who bunk off to go play black widows should be left there too. Fuck ’em.

    • I was having a nice day at the beach, relaxing on a lounger and getting stoned when i heard that shite on the radio.
      Wound me up to fuck.

      Is it only white males over forty that can take blame nowadays?
      Every other cunt has an excise for any shite they do. Its always someone else’s fault.

      I’ve been watching Kids That Kill, and every one of these little murdering cunts has some class of phycologist laying the blame elsewhere for their evil actions.

  35. Here Here Gutstick, The Muslim Parents always say he was a good boy and we knew nothing about him being a murdering Psychopath.
    I think it was Peter Hitchens who said Radical Muslims want to chop our heads off and moderate Muslims are happy to let them do it.

  36. Anybody seen the new Cock-a-Colon advert?

    There’s a gardener sweating away whilst ,eh, gardening and the daughter of the family is slavering at him from a window. Upstairs, the SON is slavering over him through a window.
    They both rush to the fridge to get him an ice cold Cock-a-Colon, and rush outside to ‘refresh’ him.
    Too late, their slag of a mater has already beat them to it and is refreshing the object of that families fantasies.

    There’s no Da in the advert.
    Maybe he was knocking one out in the neighbours shed.

    That’s one seedy family.

  37. Well the GM EV1 came before all of them and they were very popular, but as if by conspiracy theory they were quietly withdrawn. A piece of technology that was “too good” for its time perhaps.

  38. Britain is overrun with iron curtain leeching gyppos, opportunist sandspades, grabbing bogo-bogo sambos, and is a breeding ground for terrorists, benefrit cheats, and p@edo grooming gangs… And Gove is more concerned about cars?! What a cunt he is…

    • Maybe the fish-faced little twat will be assassinated by a member of the militant wing of the Morris Minor Owner’s Club…

  39. It’s not easy having a wank when you’ve got Leperosy, but I’ve managed to pull it off.

  40. Surely the whole point of human progress is to make things better than they were previously. The internal combustion engine (ICE) is a pretty efficient way of moving vehicles long distances using the stored reserve of fuel those same vehicles carry with them.

    All green arguments aside, the battery technology of today simply cannot replace the ICE or improve upon its efficiency, convenience and performance. Maybe battery operated electric cars are the future, but they’re not right now. Driving from Cornwall to Edinburgh and being forced to stop many, many times to re-charge batteries for hours at a time IS NOT PROGRESS. It’s WORSE than what we have now and should therefore be rejected out of hand on principle alone.

    Volvo and Porsche can both fuck off after their announcements they’ll be ceasing production of petrol/diesel only vehicles in the next few years. Maybe they know something about battery technology we don’t? Maybe they know about alternative means of propulsion that will revolutionise personal transportation? If they did, wouldn’t we all know about it by now?

    This world has gone fucking nuts. It seems to me the lefty libtard greenie wank stains just want humanity to regress and return to the fucking dark ages. I guess importing a ton of rapeugees and peacefuls falls in line with that way of thinking. Cunts.

  41. Could we not burn the illegals in th UK? That’ll power the country for at least a year

  42. Hasn’t that cunt Gove considered what would happen to all the people who work in garages and service stations? Nor to mention the thousands of staff at refineries like Stanlow?… Of course he hasn’t, because the slimy cunt doesn’t give a fuck about working people….

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