Electric cars

The future’s green. The future’s electric according to Michael Gove (see cunts passim) our esteemed Secretary of State for the Environment. By 2040, it will be illegal to buy a petrol or diesel vehicle.

Who the fuck are you kidding Mike? Just answer the following questions :

1. How are you going to generate the extra electricity?

2. How are you going to roll out enough charging points?

3. How am I going to drive from London to Edinburgh without a couple of hours break to recharge?

4. How much pollution will the new power stations pump out?

5. How much disruption is going to be generated while we’re laying the cables out to the charging points?

6. How long do the batteries last and how much will it cost motorists to replace them when they expire?

7. How are you going to cope with the lobbyists from the petrol and oil companies?

8. How much more will electricity cost to pay for the infrastructure?

9. How will you react to the riots from motorists which will make the poll tax look like a picnic?

Let’s face it, this will never happen. It’s complete bollocks. The cars ain’t fit for purpose, the infrastructure ain’t there and the public will never stand for it. Still, it keeps the eco-cunts quite for a year or two before it’s abandoned – sorry, delayed.

Gove, you’re a cunt and you’re talking shite.

Nominated by Dioclese

114 thoughts on “Electric cars

  1. By 2040 shouldn’t we all have jetpacks and transporters anyway?

    Oh. And Gove is a cunt.

  2. Can’t see Esso, Shell, Mobil, BP etc rolling over and taking this shit from Slimeball Gove….
    Also, will it apply to everything, or just target the working man (like they always do)?…
    Will the Queen/Royals give up their collection of Rollers and Limos? Will there be an all electric Formula 1? Gove obviously hasn’t thought this through and he is a total cunt….

    On the plus side though, if there ever comes a time when we don’t need oil from the muzzie dictatorships, we could bomb the shit out of them and wipe out the plague that is Muslam terrorism and the scum sandwogs that fund them…

  3. A bit of an impromptu cunting for the Essex-ification of British fucking TV. Apologies in advance if anyone hails from Essex – before arranging my lynching please remember that this cunting is exclusively reserved for ‘celebrities’, presenters and assorted wannabes.

    With that out of the way, let’s start as we fucking mean to go on shall we – this phenomenon has been the scourge of free-to-air broadcast viewing across the last 3-4 years, principally due to ITV’s bargain basement output. It seems to me that Essex has disproportionate representation on mainstream TV – why? These fuckers appear to be the most fame-hungry of any in the UK. Reality TV is flooded with them – and watching these cunts wrap their infuriating estuary vowels exaggeratedly over every fucking word drives me Tucker-esque; constantly fighting the manic fucking urge to tear off my eyelids, scrunch them up and use them as earplugs.

    The obvious, grotesque, enormous elephant in the fucking room – no, not Gemma Collins – but the shitty fucking wankfest of a programme which gave birth to her, TOWIE. The excessive posturing from these cunts demands militant torture methods to be employed on the fucking double. I once worked with a guy whose nickname was Arg. This programme is so toxically cuntish, that I consigned this otherwise decent chap as an extreme cunt, purely due to the association with his TOWIE namesake.

    Christ have mercy on my cunting soul, if only it stopped there. TOWIE is just the resultant reality TV verruca on the diseased footprint from this Essexification; marching unstoppably across prime fucking time TV. Everywhere you fucking look – Jeff Brazier, Stacy Solomon, that frumpy shitcunt who won X-Factor, Adele, Olly Murs, Joe Swash, Mark Wright, Ferne McCann, Joey Cuntfuck, Dominic Littlewood (that bald fucking dwarven cunt truly makes my shit hang sideways!), Dermot O’Leary, Russell Brand, Jade Goody (don’t rest in peace, you thick fucking cunt), Alan Davies, endless Apprentice contestants…

    The sheer cuntitude on that list alone is more radioactive than weapons-grade plutonium. But special mention must go to professional slut and all-around shitcunt, Katie Price (as well as her equally-diseased imitation, Jodie Marsh). This fucking cunt, even relative to her Essex brethren, is a stratospheric cunt of biblical proportions. The epitome of zero talent trash with tits, I was hoping we would see the last of her when her tits actually started to rot. But no – a few pay-cheques from Loose Stool Women ensured her necrosing baps were fixed up, and she is back in the fucking saddle, like some kind of shitcunt Terminator.

    Last word to Rylan Clark. Holy fuck, this insufferable cunt – complete with almost cartoon-tier veneers and an appetite for shirt-lifting that even exceeds his obvious inspiration, George Michael – really sums up everything that is wrong with modern TV, full stop. Someone who pretended to want to be a shit singer, simply as a gateway into TV stardom. This man has less talent than a paraplegic with locked-in syndrome, and arguably less appeal. I cannot begin describe the sheer brutality that I wish upon his person every time the camera flashes on his blindingly bright Hampstead Heaths. Hopefully the midwife slapped this cunt’s mother repeatedly for unleashing such a fucking excremental smear of a human being upon the world.

    TV ‘personalities’ from Essex, you are all high-ranking cuntlords.

    • Couldn’t agree more, ECB…. I bet most of the plastic titted whores and scummy blokes off Slut Island are from Essex too….

      And you’re right about Jade Goody… She was scum… Illness or no illness (which was milked shamelessly by her and her ‘people’), she was a steaming pile of scum…

      • I see that perennial diversity BBC favourite Adil Ray of Citizen Khan fame,though I don’t know any fucker that watches it,is the subject of Who Do You Think You Are ? this evening. Couldn’t have put it better myself. Those cunts at the BBC don’t do irony do they?

    • Hey, I’ve got family in Essex and you can slag them off without knowing them………………and get it spot on.
      The last time i went to visit the cunts i got lost ( my cousin was meant to meet me at the pub) and when i phoned for directions, the cunt of a cousin said “dan’t cam daaaaan ere with your northern attitude”
      The cunts originally from Leicester.

      I got a taxi back to the train station, went home and never spoke to the cunts again.

      I think you are right in your assessment of Essex folk, but gorgeous, funny, lovely, Stacey Solomon will always have my heart.

    • Spot on, TECB.

      Have to disagree on one tiny point… verruca on the footprint ?
      More like chancre on the syphilitic knob !

      Sir, your cuntings are Shakespearean in their power…

    • Dominic Littlecock is a massive cunt. I think I’ve posted this before, but he used to present some shitfest where he would try and get discounts on high street goods.

      The dopey fucking prick would go in to Dixons and buy a £1000 TV, for £999, then come out out and tell us what a diamond geezer he is.

      No, Dominic, you a diamond cunt.

  4. Honey G is a lesbiaaaaaaaaan
    Scrap that, Honey G is a topless lesbiaaaaaaaaaaan

    Jeezuz fuckin wept.
    Its in the Sun with its nips covered.
    I’m going to try and wank over it later.
    Might take a while, but her getting them out has presented me with a challenge.

    Topless pics of lesbians should be easy to spuff over.
    Shouldn’t it? 🙂

    • The things some cunts will do to gain an extra few minutes of celebrity and publicity…. I for one will net be going anywhere near any topless Honey G pics… Like Big AL from Happy Days with tits…

    • We fucking better have …. I intend to have a fuck off V8 in my mobility scooter … none of this 12/24 volt efforts. You won’t need to hear a horn when I’m about to clatter your shins coming up the shopping precinct. A couple of ‘cherry bombs’ and a 5.7 Hemi.

  5. The cunts will have to take the keys to my Austin Healey from my cold dead hands.

    I’m all up for a last drive down the M1 , the cops on their electric trikes will probably run out of energy at Junction 20, so I will keep going till I make it to the coast

    • Along the Brighton and Hove coast they are erecting these fuckin Wind Turbines, and what a fuckin eyesore these dam things are. These inefficient monsters are costing us a fortune in taxation. Petrol Diesel coal and nuclear power is the way forward… Bring it on and fuck the Smug Green cunts.

      • How much concrete and steel does it take to make one of those fuckers.

        And they are all made in Germany, be better if they were Swastiker shaped

      • The elephant in the room is overpopulation… We can recycle and be Green as much as we like, Whats happening to the environment are just symptoms of the problem. The rate that world population is rising especially amongst the African and Peaceful population simply wont be sustainable in another 50 years or less.
        Check out here what Richard Attenborough has to say

      • They’ll inbreed themselves to death. Then we have to pay aid for them breeding like rabbits. How about fuck off?

  6. I heard earlier that the police and the security services are being blamed for not doing enough to stop two brothers from Brighton flying to Syria, where they both died fighting for Isis. Apparently, their older brother had already fled to the war torn shit hole, and no one was there to stop them being radicalised, and following in his footsteps. How about their parents? Stopping the cunts going shouldn’t be a priority, it’s stopping them coming back that should be inforced, and no exceptions. All those dumb schoolgirls who bunk off to go play black widows should be left there too. Fuck ’em.

    • I was having a nice day at the beach, relaxing on a lounger and getting stoned when i heard that shite on the radio.
      Wound me up to fuck.

      Is it only white males over forty that can take blame nowadays?
      Every other cunt has an excise for any shite they do. Its always someone else’s fault.

      I’ve been watching Kids That Kill, and every one of these little murdering cunts has some class of phycologist laying the blame elsewhere for their evil actions.

  7. Here Here Gutstick, The Muslim Parents always say he was a good boy and we knew nothing about him being a murdering Psychopath.
    I think it was Peter Hitchens who said Radical Muslims want to chop our heads off and moderate Muslims are happy to let them do it.

  8. Anybody seen the new Cock-a-Colon advert?

    There’s a gardener sweating away whilst ,eh, gardening and the daughter of the family is slavering at him from a window. Upstairs, the SON is slavering over him through a window.
    They both rush to the fridge to get him an ice cold Cock-a-Colon, and rush outside to ‘refresh’ him.
    Too late, their slag of a mater has already beat them to it and is refreshing the object of that families fantasies.

    There’s no Da in the advert.
    Maybe he was knocking one out in the neighbours shed.

    That’s one seedy family.

  9. Well the GM EV1 came before all of them and they were very popular, but as if by conspiracy theory they were quietly withdrawn. A piece of technology that was “too good” for its time perhaps.

  10. Britain is overrun with iron curtain leeching gyppos, opportunist sandspades, grabbing bogo-bogo sambos, and is a breeding ground for terrorists, benefrit cheats, and p@edo grooming gangs… And Gove is more concerned about cars?! What a cunt he is…

    • Maybe the fish-faced little twat will be assassinated by a member of the militant wing of the Morris Minor Owner’s Club…

  11. It’s not easy having a wank when you’ve got Leperosy, but I’ve managed to pull it off.

  12. Surely the whole point of human progress is to make things better than they were previously. The internal combustion engine (ICE) is a pretty efficient way of moving vehicles long distances using the stored reserve of fuel those same vehicles carry with them.

    All green arguments aside, the battery technology of today simply cannot replace the ICE or improve upon its efficiency, convenience and performance. Maybe battery operated electric cars are the future, but they’re not right now. Driving from Cornwall to Edinburgh and being forced to stop many, many times to re-charge batteries for hours at a time IS NOT PROGRESS. It’s WORSE than what we have now and should therefore be rejected out of hand on principle alone.

    Volvo and Porsche can both fuck off after their announcements they’ll be ceasing production of petrol/diesel only vehicles in the next few years. Maybe they know something about battery technology we don’t? Maybe they know about alternative means of propulsion that will revolutionise personal transportation? If they did, wouldn’t we all know about it by now?

    This world has gone fucking nuts. It seems to me the lefty libtard greenie wank stains just want humanity to regress and return to the fucking dark ages. I guess importing a ton of rapeugees and peacefuls falls in line with that way of thinking. Cunts.

  13. Could we not burn the illegals in th UK? That’ll power the country for at least a year

  14. Hasn’t that cunt Gove considered what would happen to all the people who work in garages and service stations? Nor to mention the thousands of staff at refineries like Stanlow?… Of course he hasn’t, because the slimy cunt doesn’t give a fuck about working people….

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