Saturday Night Live

Saturday Night Live needs a cunting.

Gone are the days of Chase, Aykroyd, Belsushi and Murray… It is a now just a libtard mongfest full of snowflake propaganda and unfunny cunts who masquerade as comedy actors… The tiresome ‘diverse’ cast (fat unfunny woman, fat black bloke, gay dude etc) are only there because they tick PC boxes, and an array of Hollywood celbricunts/slags (Perry, Johansson, Gaga… You know the type): again trying to be ‘funny’ and failing, and making out that a Tinsletown slapper can be a political animal (that is the only funny bit about it)… All these cunts: who have flashed their tits all over the web, done advertising deals with companies not exactly known for their ethics, and had more dicks than the ‘good night’ parts of ‘Laugh-In’… Yet they call Trump a bastard and have a go at his daughter.

What makes SNL, and the cunts that guest on it, believe they are any better?… Cunts.

98 thoughts on “Saturday Night Live

  1. I’m sorry but am I on the wrong website? Why would anyone In Blighty be watching mainstream Yank TV unless they had been a corpse for donkeys years? Do me a fucking favour.

       6 likes

      • Really? In that case I’d like to nominate the New England Patriots. Tom Brady is a fucking cheat!

           5 likes

        • Nice one Freddie, who says cheats don’t prosper, other than Brady and Bill Billicheat, come on you Miami Dolphins.

             1 likes

          • Cheats don’t prosper?… Francis Lee, Jurgen Klinsmann, Thierry Henry, Maria Sharapova ETC…

               4 likes

          • I meant in NFL Norman, the list of fucking cheating cunts in other sports is endless.

               1 likes

      • Yea didn’t there used to be a widget thing (or whatever they’re called) on the side with little flags and where the latest visitor was from?
        They seemed to be from all over the place.
        I think there was an a-z of cuntings too! I miss that one. Spent many an hour working my way through the list.

           1 likes

    • But since Trump manages to make himself look more and more ridiculous on an hourly basis, there’s nothing left for these so-called satirists and comedians to do.

         5 likes

      • Since day 1 they have constantly been attacking him Fred day bloody one you don’t think somethings going on?

        They are gaslighting him the sick cunts Trump needs to get rid of the evil neocons like Mccain and he needs to shutdown CNN they are actively hoping for the presidents death This is crazy and jail that nig snoop dogg and his retarded no talent nephew

           8 likes

        • The more these ever so clever circle jerk libtard cunts slag off The Donald, the more people love him and hate them. Not so clever after all, are you? Cunts.

             6 likes

  2. I’d like to nominate Red Nose Day for a cunting.

    As if we don’t pay enough in taxes in contributions to the overseas aid budget It’s that time of year again when the biggest bunch of left-on virtue seeking wankers appears on our screens and airways, telling us to part with even more of our hard earned… crowds of nobs drive their cars around with stupid plastic appendages attached to the grill and others dress in fancy dress crap or bake cakes for ‘good causes’. Cunts one and all.

    A quick look at the Red Nose Day website shows you those ‘good causes’ there’s a picture of ….lots of little sambos all smiling like heavenly angels for the camera, with a ginger cunt (Cordon?) but you can just see in reality the little peaceful ones are really thinking, I wish my brother mustapha had returned with the AK47 sooner…

    The website even have the balls to tell you they are making a difference in the UK and Africa. FFS what is this obsession with helping the lazy good for nothing sand wogs and jungle bunnies. We tried for years – but you can’t help those that don’t help themselves. Why don’t we learn.?

    And if that’s not bad enough the Beebistan Broadcasting Caliphate are using our licence fee money to run adverts promoting the whole sordid event every time there is a gap in programmes. The latest I heard on the radio this morning tells me to tune in Friday for hours of comic fun and entertainment. Really??? I’d have More fun pulling me own nasal hair.

    The whole advert thing was scripted around ‘Sir Lenny Henry and invites us to enjoy the evening with the likes of Jo fatty Brand, that bird that was once in Doctor Who – Cunthrine Tait the oh ‘so funny’ mincing Grahcunt Nortone and Uber Cunt Russell Bland….

    Hell of night that’s gonna be, fat dykes, gay Iorish fellas and a long haired tallentles uber cunt… Think I’ll spend my cash on a whiskey or too, so I can cultivate my own red nose.

    Cunts.

       16 likes

    • I absolutely hate Red Nose Day!!
      The only cunt I want to see with a red nose is bob geldof after I’ve punched him in the face!!!

         15 likes

    • Fucking brown nose day more like. An event that guarantees months of paid employment for it’s top tier of cunts, all culminating in one night of unwatchable shite. All so a bunch of annoying cunts can feel good about themselves, as they dress up as twats and try to bully the unsuspecting couldn’t give a fuckers into parting with cash.

         10 likes

      • Brown nose day. Had one of them the day after the first Red Nose Day; at the time I was working for a large company in which the way to get promoted was by brown nosing, arselicking and general crawling. Some of my fellow employees would have to have their heads levered out of the level 1’s arse come home time. Any way some cunt had got a load of these red noses so the day after they all became brown. Myself and fellow rebels had much fun, managers did not see the funny side and along with my Bullshit stamp brown noses were banned from the site on pain of suspension. Best job I ever had, oh those were the days.

           3 likes

    • can you imagine what the population growth would be in Africa f they didn’t have civil and sectarian wars, famine, drought and preventable diseases?

         9 likes

      • Precisely. African population is set to double to 2.4bn by 2050 and 4.2bn by 2100. We are fucked unless we get a grip now.

           3 likes

    • I had the foresight to get next Friday off work…the cunts there will go into overdrive. I do not want some cunt asking me for a pound every time I look up and I do not want to buy any hideous fucking pink or green iced cunt-cakes with glitter on them. I also do not want to sponsor anyone to run round like a cunt or to sit in a bath of baked beans all day like a cunt.

         3 likes

      • Didn’t realise it was Red Cunts Day next Friday but am glad it is as I will be out the country in northern France visiting battlefields and cemeteries. The cunts should have a day dedicated to those blokes but they won’t cos they are not foreign and died fighting for a (then) Imperial power.

           4 likes

  3. Red fucking Nose Day? Be grateful you’re not a teacher…..you don’t know the half of it mate.

       13 likes

  4. SNL is pathetic. I’ve never seen a full show. The odd clip I have seen has had me cringing behind the sofa.

    Cunt walks on stage, says ‘Donald Trump’ – crowd pisses themselves laughing.

    Cunt puts on a wig, says ‘Donald Trump’ – crowd are now in raptures.

    Cunt pulls out cigar, says ‘Donald Trump’ – crowd are now guffawing the house down.

    Video is posted on YouTube and viewed 10 million times. Cunt is declared best comedian ever and goes on to sell out 164 stadium tours in 58 countries.

       13 likes

  5. My lads history teacher clearly has no sense of humour.
    At parents evening she questioned his thought process after some of his verbal answers.

    Question. Name a great ruler

    Ans. Helix 30cm shatterproof.

    Question. Who would you most like to be trapped in a lift with?

    Ans. A lift engineer.

    Was very proud…..

       22 likes

  6. Long gone is the classic lineup 1975–80 of belshi, chevy chase, ankroyd, & radner or the classic lineup of 1990–95 era with Farley, Hartman, Sandler, Spade, & Norm Macdonald The best SNL lineups in my opinion the current one is unfunny like the ebola virus and the trump bashing is very communist scary like yet Trump is the one secretly working for russia? what in the fuck?!

       4 likes

    • spade!,
      that’s a fuckin disgraceful.

      Is it too hard for you to ignore colour and just say ‘Chris Rock’?

      🙂

         2 likes

      • lol Its David Spade M8 forgot Chris Rock was even on SNL actually he was more of a guest during early years if I’m not mistaken didn’t become a member till 96 or 97 I think

        After farley od’d and hartman got shot and killed by his coke’d out slut of a wife I really liked hartmans brand of dry slick humor he definitely carried that show had heck of a voice simpsons was better with him

           1 likes

        • I’m a fan of Spade and Hartman.

          Hartman was in a sitcom set in a newsroom or something that was good.

          Black Sheep and Tommy Boy with Spade and Farley were hilarious.

          But my favourite out of the ones you mentioned is Norm McDonald.
          Dry as fuck.

          Norm has Scottish heritage, but did you see him try a Scottish accent in Deuce Bigelow European Gigolo ?

          Terrible attempt but his hilarity got him through it.

             1 likes

          • Its Macdonald Not Mc you Mick lol just kidding I mix them up too

               1 likes

  7. I wouldn’t watch SNL if you fucking paid me… But when one of those Hollywood celebricunts tries to get all ‘satirical’ with their latest bout of snowflakery and anti=Trump moaning, it’s all over the place… Well, all over the web anyway…

    Talking of which, ScarJo is a cunt…. Takes the piss out of Trump’s daughter, yet lives like a queen herself, with all the trappings, freebies and sycophancy her fame and wealth bring her…The Hollywood drone also attends the gobshite feminazi rally spouting about equality while wearing a 2000 pounds parka with real fur on it… Also, her SNL pisstake of Ivanka Trump: saying Ivanka was ‘complicit’ (complicit? In fucking what?!)… Says the person who signed a millions of dollars deal with the well dodgy Sodastream company , does advert deals with the Chinese, and also worked with the infamous Woody Allen and conveniently ignored calls to speak out about, or up for, his alleged victims, saying it had ‘nothing to do with her’….Selective feminism, eh? You can’t beat it… A rich, spoilt, never said no to, overprivileged, indulged celebricunt like Johansson , who also turns a blind eye when convenient (Woody, Chinese sponsorship deals, lavish freebies and goodie bags etc) having a go at Ivanka Trump for exactly the same things is like Stalin calling Hitler for being anti-semitic… And when the daft bitch (Johansson, that is) gleefully took part in another SNL sketch about a dog that barks ‘Trump!’ and ‘Snowflakes!’ (implying that all working class and Trump voters are dogs), it proved conclusively her cunt credentials…

       10 likes

  8. i was just sitting with a nice Sunday morning cuppa turned on to watch the Andrew marr show and up pops stratospheric mega cunt Blair!! I’m completely unable to listen to this sack of shit!! I think it’s a huge bonus having this discredited cunt peddling his remain bollocks……

       12 likes

  9. Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In and The Smothers Brothers did what those libtard clowns on SNL pathetically attempt to do now years ago… Only they did it better (and had bigger and better guests)… They also weren’t concerned with ticking PC boxes, filling ‘diversity’ quotas, and scoring points with snowflake Twittermongs… On the subject of social media clapping seal libmongs: they all honk at the same time about how the likes of ScarJo are ‘right on’ and ‘fight against the man’ (ie: Big Bad Don) and how ‘hilarious’ the anti-Trump stuff is… Yet the thick cunts don’t know (or don’t want to know) that these Hollywood cunts get paid massive amounts of money to appear on this shit… You wouldn’t see these Tinsletown twats anywhere near SNL if they weren’t getting paid… Satire and ‘activisim’ has its price…

       8 likes

    • Come now, you can’t expect them to work for nothing. They’d never get into a synagogue again.

         1 likes

  10. Fuck me had a nightmare last night,I was dreaming that i went on a blind date and Karen Mattews turned up,I woke up in a panic,Making doctors appointment first thing,Gonna get my medication changed.

       5 likes

    • Fuck it doing two trebs small stakes,Ffos las 2.00 citrus,lim 2.20 kate appleby shoes,ffos las,3.35 callculated risk. and the other ffoo las,4.45 bob ford,lim 3.25 boru boy,lim4.35cappacurry zak.If these dont win i will blame the wife.

         1 likes

        • No Skid just a cunt who can;t speak English proper,I mite have welsh in my blood to but i fucking hope not and if i find that i have i wont be telling.

             4 likes

  11. Best bit of stand up I have heard recently was Tiny Tim Farron say the Lib Dems were the real opposition in a recent speech. Mmm, is that including all 9 of your MP’s?

    Since we’re talking about bullshit statements, when is Samuel L Jackson among others, going to move to South Africa which he said he would do if Trump became President? Did he buy a shack in a Johannesburg township to relate with his ‘brothers’ and reconnect with his roots? Nah, back in the good old US of A chasing his next pay check, attention seeking cunt.

       10 likes

    • Gutless hypocritical retards they should all be deported everyone who promised to move should do just that

      Samuel “in every fucking film ever” Jackson said he wished the shooters in san bernadino massacre were white and that islam is just misunderstood what a dumb cunt

         10 likes

    • Jackson recently took cuntitude to a new level, by saying black British actors shouldn’t play black Americans, because they wouldn’t understand the experience of a black American, and they would put one of his ‘brothers’ out of work. As acting is another word for pretending, experience shouldn’t come into it, as an accomplished actor would, with the proper direction be able to pull off whatever situation, accent or emotional baggage the story requires. How much experience as a hitman did he have to star in pulp fiction? Mind you, he does that opinionated chip on the shoulder oppressed minority cunt a treat. Plenty of research there…
      Bruno Gantz was awesome as Hitler in the film Downfall, but I don’t remember anyone questioning him on his lack of experience in being a gas happy dictator. I could go on, but you get the picture.
      As for British black actors getting the roles in America, perhaps it’s because they are better at acting?

         12 likes

    • i think jackson might have trouble getting out of the US what with trump’s travel ban – hopefully he’ll be kept in long enough for some redneck cop to shoot him for having curly hair, a big fucking mouth or “a piss-poor attitude boyyy”

         6 likes

    • I watched a filum with Samuel L Jackson yesterday.

      It was called The Other Guys and he was killed off in the first fifteen minutes.

      If I have to watch one of his filums, that’s the sort I go for.

         6 likes

      • Gets killed off sharpish in Renny Harlin’s “Deep Blue Sea” as well. Pretty funny scene too…

           4 likes

        • I was with a date at the cinema watching that.

          No joke, I jumped out my chair when the shark got him and stood there panting like a pussy

          Fuckin embarrassing. 🙂

             5 likes

          • Great cinematic moment though. I was rooting for the sharks all through that film…

               3 likes

    • After Trump won dozens of film and music Cunts came out and said they were leaving America, I doubt even one of those gobshite Cunts actually did, they appear to spend all of their time talking bollocks whilst trying to out virtue signal each other…..

         8 likes

  12. The media is full of left wing libtards detached from reality, they can be found embedded in most media outlets. The left loves to get exposure on the media, if they get the right shop window they make their left wing bias look like it is the prevailing opinion due to mass exposure.

    The left are a fucking disgrace and a blight on humanity.

       9 likes

    • The worst thing about these libtard celebricunts is that they pretend not to be cunts… Tossers like Lineker, Lily Mong, Hairy Mulligan etc and their American counterparts (Perry, ScarJo, etc) make out hey actually care about people… Truth is they don’t give a fuck and nine and a half times out of ten they will treat the man/woman on the street, fans, and hotel/airline/restaurant staff like shit… They just make the right noises about the right causes (Brown babies, Trump bashing, Anti-Brexit, ‘peaceful types’, migrants) while turning a blind eye to rapists and terrorism.. And the famous ‘feminists’ are no better… They claim to be for all women, but not if you disagree with them or if your name is Trump… Being a cunt and admitting it is quite admirable… But being a cunt and making out you care about others, while promoting themselves and their careers and hoovering up loads of cash (and being selective in your ‘caring’) is fucking heinous…

         10 likes

      • They can pretend as much as they like, it’s obvious they are cunts to anyone with their eyes open.

        There is as much point to them pretending not to be cunts as there is to me pretending to be good looking.

           4 likes

      • That’s just it though: a celebrity gets cunted and it’s ‘trolling’ and ‘vile’… Yet when Lineker calls people ignorant and racist, Madonna says bomb the White House, and Lily says all white men are potential rapists, it’s seen as acceptable… As for blight on humanity? Surely a celebrity who wants what happened in Germany and Sweden to happen here (by wanting scores of ‘child’ refugees to come to Britain, as long as they don’t have to live near them) is more of a blight than a ‘keyboard warrior’… What a fucking joke…

        And there’s nothing worse than a fanboy: who thinks celebs are untouchable and if anyone criticises their favourite sacred cow (no matter how much of a cunt they are) they throw their toys out of the pram and label anyone who has a go at their idol as ‘trolls’… A cunt who worships a celebrity cunt is worse than the celebrity cunt themself…

           16 likes

      • Nobody asked these celebrity parasite to offer their enlightened opinion for the benefit of us poor stupid plebs so when the stick their heads above the parapet to preach they had better expect some return fire. Cunts.

           5 likes

      • I’m saying the biggest cunts are those that hide behind fake names anonymously calling folk/celebrities cunts when the last thing they would do is use their real name on twitter and tweet direct to them the shit they post on here.

        Its fucking sad that middle aged men hide in bedrooms scared of facing the celebs they cunt about and cunt about on is a cunt instead.

        Come on lads you know its so fucking sad your wives and families have no idea about it either.

           1 likes

        • Whereas worshipping celebs and lining their pockets isn’t “sad”?
          You’ll have to do better than that.
          And your fixation with poster’s wives and families feels somehow… familiar?

             6 likes

  13. They used to have good musical guests on the classic era SNL… Now it’s just snowflake student bar indie crap and the odd circus act like Chickboy Gaga… Expect Beetroot Head Sheeran on SNL any time soon…

       4 likes

    • That cunt Wankie Cockcosie got to root Holly Hagan.

      Holly Hagan is thick as shite and a bit of a twat, but fuck yeah, I’d marry that.

         2 likes

    • I used to dread going bald, but as I’m 41 and still have hair, I can relax and watch it go grey and dry looking.

      Talking of grey hair, I saw an older guy in the shop yesterday with a dyed black comb over.

      Guys shouldn’t dye their hair.

      If multi millionaire Paul McCartney can’t get someone to do a decent job of it, then no one can.

         5 likes

      • Kinnocks got a funny mop Bird,I think the Kinnocks watch SNL,And say to each other we should be on there,There fucking cunts Bird thats what they a be.

           2 likes

      • Got to age gracefully as they say Birdman. That Holly Hagan has a nice Ass, yep I would definitely make extra effort.

           1 likes

          • That’s the second time you’ve had me Google her, ANDZ.
            I thought I recognized the name, but I checked anyway.

            What the bejeezuz is that ?

               1 likes

          • The last time I saw something like that was in a museum looking at the Egyptian Mummy exhibit.

               0 likes

        • In Geordie Shore, she was the one that found it hard to pull.

          She’d come home gutted that she couldn’t get fucked.

          WHY? WHY? WHY?

          What’s wrong with them Geordie lads ?

          She’s fuckin dynamite, and ‘Holly Hagan Topless’ appears on my search history quite often.

          Yeah, I’d say she’s the number 1 piece sluttyness in the UK at the moment.

             0 likes

      • Most men lose some hair and it’s a bit of a Cunt but nothing compared to giving it the cunning comb!! I used to work with a bloke who literally had half a dozen hairs!, he grew them as long as possible and wrapped them around his head!!, the cheeky cunt then had a centre parting, 3 on the left 2 on the right!! Being a piss taking cunt I named him the walnut whip!!

           5 likes

        • Sounds like the fucker liked watching Kinnock on the tv and thought yeah im gonna do me hair the same has him,The poor cunt must of had mental issues,A sad case a very fucking sad case.

             1 likes

          • Bird you cant beat the lovely Andrea Dalton ,Shes got lovely tits and fucks like a dirty slut should do and she will even lick your arse,What a woman,When god put sluts and whores on this earth she had to be one of the first in the que.

               1 likes

          • Check these scenes out on xhamster.

            Dreamfuck Anal Granny
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            Dirty old sluts. ‘)

               2 likes

          • Thought of the day,I wonder how many times a week Karen Mattews changes her kecs.

               0 likes

          • I downloaded it ages ago but never watched it.
            So I downloaded it again and it starts half way through.
            WTF?

            I immediately deleted it and sought out the full length scene using my pervometer.

            Romana is her name and she’s in the other ‘Italian bbw’

               1 likes

          • The full scene is on http://www.5x.be/?f=4377 and is 5 minutes longer at 40 minutes. I tried buying it but they wouldn’t accept my credit card and I don’t do the phone thing. But this version is good enough, will have nuts like bats wings in no time. 😉

               1 likes

  14. Can I nominate Hull City Council for a cunting
    We’re supposed to be city of culcha this year but it’s more like the city of plastic orange barricades to cordon off the repaving work in the city centre which has been going on for 2 years or so with no end in site.
    As for the side roads into the city centre fuck all is being done to sort out the paving stones which mysteriously became after Kingston Com started rolling out fibre-optic broadband. Apparently the Council ensure that utility contractors “make good” any damage to paving etc that has to be dug up to facilitate access. With all the loose and broken stones it’s like Takeishi’s Castle’s Stepping Stones game when we’ve had some rain. You could be excused for thinking that “making good” is a euphemism for bunging the appropriate council employee or perhaps nthey are just totally fucking incompetent.
    I hear lots of other horror stories about HCC ineptitudes and dodgy dealings from fellow drinkers but I’m usually too pissed to remember them by the next time I log on here.

       6 likes

  15. While you cunts were watching this American shit festival I came in from the boozer, flicked through the channels and came across something called “Sex Clinic”. There was this young bloke being interviewed by a nurse.

    Nurse: how many sexual partners have you had in the last month?
    Bloke: 8
    Nurse: did they all involve anal intercourse?
    Bloke: yes
    Nurse: giving, receiving or a mixture of both?
    Bloke: receiving
    Fuck a duck! Eight cocks up your arse in a month! Even Katie Price can’t compete with that. Turns out this dirty bastard had Chlamydia and Hepatitis C but was well pleased he didn’t have HIV. This is not the sort of shit you need to watch when you’re trying to finish a fucking Doner. What a filthy fucking cunt. Animals like this should pay for their own treatment, letting any passing cunt fuck you up the shitter. Therefore I nominate gays for being dirty fucking bastards! Lezzers are ok though…..as long as they are tasty and let me watch.

       12 likes

    • Its a known fact the gay will try to stick as much up his shit scoop as he can the taker will resort to even chair legs and the like if he cant find a male member to stick it there,It beggars belief.

         4 likes

      • They try and make out that they are just normal blokes who are good with colours and like Judy Garland but the truth is many of them are manic lust driven perverts whose life revolves around their arse holes.

           2 likes

        • And their taste in music is always diabolical… As you say, Judy Garland… Then there’s Kylie, Madogga, Cher, and they love OTT theatrical shite like Streisand and Mariah Carey…

             2 likes

        • We must all tread carefully the gay will try to infect others,For fuck sake take care ,The BBC HQ is packed to the rafters with them,The dykes find comfort there to,Its a strange world and its getting stranger every fucking day.

             4 likes

          • As you say ANDZ , you’ve got to look out…I was on the last bus home one night last summer and a gruff voiced woman who resembled Hugh Scully who used to be on Antiques Roadshow, offered to show me a good time. Christ on a bike,no thanks.

               2 likes

  16. I’ve had the misfortune to see a couple of the “humourous” Trump sketches. They were about as funny as an unflushed toilet.

    If there’s one thing worse than a sanctimonious, libtard über-cunt it’s an American sanctimonious, libtard über-cunt.

       7 likes

    • And these superstar libtards who berate Trump and his family will mostly live like Louis XIV themselves: with servants, yes-men, luxury and all that… Then they’ll grab money, just like Trump does… Only they’ll do it by advertising crap, designer labels and appearing on shite like SNL… ‘But Trump is a cunt’.. Trump may be a cunt (he’ll probably admit it too), but it’s more or less guaranteed that every one of these bleeding heart snowflake stars will have been a total cunt to some waiter or fan or baggage handler etc… They don’t admit that they’re cunts, and that’s what makes them cunts…

         7 likes

  17. SNL was never VERY funny. Just occasional pieces that amused, but why the fuck should it be ? , it isn’t aimed at us , just America who laugh at different things than we do.
    Fuck me this is just desperate cunting. I have spent a serious amount of time with Americans and they do have a different sense of humour, because they ARE different. Fuck me what is on TV here now that is funny, maybe Mock the Week but nothing else.
    The best days of comedy are gone, like my bladder right now after 7 pints .Just like the best movies , music and TV . It’s all bollocks, run by wankers with no idea what is funny because when you are that far up your own arsehole it’s just dark.

       6 likes

    • Comedy has been over egged its now too political or obscene never really cared for standup comics either but the odd one I admire I get more laughs out of my pointer dog and he can’t even bloody talk lol

         1 likes

      • Monty Python’s Flying Circus and The Young Ones weren’t aimed at Yanks, but they still liked them.. Rowan and Martin, Sgt Bilko, Taxi, Frasier etc weren’t aimed at the British, but they were still popular here… So a lot of the time we laugh at the same things…

        Also, we cunt what we want, when we want…That ‘s the whole point isn’t it?….

           2 likes

  18. SNL used to be a merry band of Cunning Runts.
    Today? It’s a herd of…well…just the opposite.

       3 likes

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