Formula One

Since we’re on the subject of sport, I’ve been watching the f1 testing this week. Looks like Mercedes are going to walk away with it. AGAIN!

Can’t tell just from the testing but f1 needs a cunting anyway.


How does this sound?

We’re going to get some of the best minds on the planet to build the fastest possible cars.

We’ll spend billions to build purpose built race tracks all around the world that will test the drivers and machines to the very edge of their capabilities.

We’ll take the very best drivers in the world and have them race each other at over 200mph!

Sounds exciting doesn’t it!

Well it isn’t.

What cunts.

Nominated by DeploytheSausage

54 thoughts on “Formula One

  1. I used to love F1 since I was in my early teens. Even went to many of the old Eurpeean tracks with my dad to watch it.

    Now it is just a Mercedes procession, or whoever has the biggest racing budget this year.

    Boring as fuck, with only the occasional engine or gearbox packing up at 200mph to make it interesting.

    I didn’t even bother watching one race last season since I figured out I was falling asleep half way through the race.

  2. Lewis Hamilton is a tax dodging short arsed flash little cunt. The sooner he drives into a wall and burns to a crisp the better. That would liven this pile of shit up and no mistake!

    • I agree about the tax dodging but wouldn’t you do the same? Fuck paying this Government £100 million a year in tax for them to give it to some Somali cunt or sending it to India in foreign aid when they have tons of millionaires.

      • Simple rule;
        Your country has Nuclear Weapons, Nuclear Power stations or a Space Programme, you get fuck all from the UK.

        • India has be saying for years that not only do they not need it, they also don’t want it, but some stupid cunts just keep sending it.

          And there’s all them fame hungry slebs raising their profile and money for hungry kids in Britain.

          Get rid of donations to India, and we also get rid of red nose day and comic relief.


          • Too right. I’d rather remove my testicles with a claw hammer than put up with another televised charity mugging

          • Because ‘Foreign Aid’ is just a nice way of saying ‘Bribe’ so all the politicians mates can get their fingers into all sorts of deals in them countries.

        • I wouldn’t give a penny in aid to any foreigners until this country is solvent….so,never.

          • Well, Bastard well Bastard I think you have found a way to raise money. Put a red nose on the end of your knob and get out the claw hammer. I would certainly tune in for that.

  3. In fairness the main reason why a lot of neutrals watched F1 was because of seeing a good old pile up, etc., much like gladiatorial Rome: folk didn’t give a fuck on how wonderful Agrippa’s defensive net work was, or Flavius’ sword play, they wanted to see heads being lopped off or opponent’s being de-limbed.

    If the Emperor had said: “Yeah but we’re going to be using rubber swords and three taps and you win.” – then you might have had the odd gladiatorial fan hanging about to watch the art of battle but most neutrals would fuck off to the nearest VespasianSpoons and get hammered on cheap wine instead.

    This is now F1. About as entertaining as a stubbed toe and with a danger factor of a litter of labrador puppies!

    Dull as dishwater shite.

    • Dull and sanitized to the point that playing with the grandkids scalextric set is more entertaining.
      The last motor racing I enjoyed watching was the Goodwood Revival, all 1950s and 60s machinery blasting around the track. Crash one of those and you’ll know all about it too…

      • … read anything by Mark Webber, ex – F1 on the Isle of Man TT and his respect for the rawness, purity and the dangers of proper, non-sanitised racing. It sums up how much F1 has just become a boring parade.

  4. Im still an F1 fan even though it’s has been dull since the Red Bull and now Mercedes dominance. With the new takeover it will get better especially with Ross Brawn helping and hopefully they’ll get rid of some of the stupid rules, but to be fair Formula 1 is about having the best Formula and it’s for the other teams to catch up with Mercedes. I am a McLaren fan myself and they are a pile of shit now. If I were in charge I would scrap a lot of these shit Tracks that don’t promote overtaking and take away a lot of the computer aids for the driver.

    • Yea I’m a mclaren fan. Its looking like we’re going to have a fuckin useless car again this season.

      It get rid of the run off areas. If drivers leave the track they should be in the barriers or there should be something to shred the tyres in the run off zones.

      As mentioned before I’d also award points for all finishing places and start races with a reverse grid. The mercs and red bulls etc would have to start at the back and fight their way to the front.
      Scrap qualifying and have a race between the test drivers or something.

  5. @ black and white cunt , same here still love to watch formula 1 but years of watering it down and over regulations have made it all most toothless.

    From having to run hybrids and greener engines to not being allowed to use the most advanced technology available to build the ultimate racing cars.

    formula one should Be about building the best cars imaginable , like they did using Grand Tourismo on PS3 That version of the f1 car could hit over 300mph!!! The sport needs to get back to its roots of being hard and fast and let the manufacturers build the best possible machines then the fans would come back. Oh and make sure ALL the races are free to watch not half and half you cunts .

  6. There’s too much tech involved now. And Ecclestone and co brought in too many rules. Using hi tech to build the cars isn’t the problem, it’s using it during the race. It used to be a test of the drivers skill. Now the cars can almost drive themselves.

  7. Whatever you think about Lewis Hamilton you can’t deny his driving ability. Even in current F1 he is much better than the field with the exception of Alonso and Vettel who are of Lewis’ calibre. That cunt Sir Jackie Stewart will be passed when he is overtaken by Lewis as the Brit with the most driver’s championships. He’s one bitter cunt who goes to nearly every race and wishes he was still able to drive the cars, fucking muppet. Nico Rosberg realised that he would never beat Lewis again so fucked off after his hollow Championship win which he only narrowly won even though he had the better of the luck last season in terms of reliability and had a massive points advantage.

    • Yea nico knew he got lucky so quit while he was ahead.
      Bet Lewis is well fucked off that he can’t get him back this season.

  8. I have it on good authority that when Hamilton started as a kid doing Kart racing, he and his old man would wander around scrounging used tyres off other racers so he could keep going on the cheap.
    When he started winning races and could buy himself new tyres, any half decent used ones he had left would get the Stanley Blade treatment before being binned, to ensure that no one else who might be racing on a tight budget could use them.
    Talented driver? Maybe.
    Nasty spiteful wasteful little cunt? Highly likely.

    • Ha ha, didn’t know that.
      Some may say it’s a win at all costs mentality (in not helping out competitors), but it is wasteful and cuntish not helping people who are in a position you used to be in.

    • He is a sulky precious cunt as well.
      The tax dodging I don’t mind but his bitchyness really fucks me off.
      Sports cunts always say “I’m a competitive person.”
      That’s just another way of saying “I’m a total cunt that would fuck anyone over for a shiny trophy or a round of applause.”

      • Its the “tuff guy” image that gets me.
        We all know he used to be a wee quiet guy with a plum in his mouth, and rather than be a “gangsta” in his yoof, he was away go-carting with his Da.
        Nothing wrong with doing stuff with yer Da, but don’t then go and act the hoodlum.

        Anyone remember a photo of him outside a cliub , flipping the double bird to paparazzi, with all his back up behind him ?

        Little posing shitebag.

        Also, his fashion sense is fuckin shocking.

        • Yea the cunt wears glasses even though he has perfect 20 20 vision. What kind of cunt does that?
          His dress sense is awful. He wears all that shit.

          • “He wears all that Will.iam shit”

            I never knew that was the cunt out of Black Eyed Peas surname.

            Makes sense. 😉

  9. Whilst on the subject of F1, Silverstone is a cunt.
    Whinging about costs of putting on the race yet charge a fucking fortune for any decent seat you won’t get soaked in if it rains. I might set up a go fund me page to pay for me to go.

  10. Save a fortune by standing on an urban motorway bridge and watching the cars and hearing the racket. Marginally more interesting than F1 and with fewer cunts.

    • Plus the added bonus of Audi and Range Rover drivers, who seem to think they are on a race track anyway…

      • Audi drivers are cunts, plains and simple.

        Followed in order by VW, BMW, Skoda (what the fuck? your cars are a joke), Seat and the BMW

        Fucking two pence, council house, white bread, thrift store breadboxes.

  11. Tedious, tedious,tedious. Just listen to the commentary. What do they talk about the most? FUCKIN TYRES ! If it wasn’t for tyre changes they’d have fuck all to talk about. Make the tracks wider and the cars narrower, ban pit stops. Once the race starts, that’s it, it’s a race to the line.

    • Yea it’s bad that just about the only overtaking that goes on in the “race” is when they’re in the pits.

      How do these cunts manage to make it so boring? !

  12. Don’t really care for the sport its really boring then again my attention span is complete fucking shite! Car goes vroom… gets faster goes around track at lightening speeds with occasional sharp turns… hopefully gets 1st 2nd or 2rd or at least hits something and crashes Thee End

  13. No they need to go back yo the old style tyers ,the ones which used to last most of the race,

    fuel refilling needs to come back as every now and a again a nice fire would erupt,

    spare cars were good too would like to see them come back. Also make it so the drivers can make more then one move to defend their track position so its you know , exciting .

    ps bring back group B racing too !!

    • The obsession with health and safety has ruined formula one. it should be more like Death Race 2000, with obstacles and extra points for mowing down spectators and pit crew.

  14. Formula one should be prescribed by the NHS for anybody suffering with insomnia

  15. For real racing, have a look on YouTube at the motor bike racing at the Isle of Man TT. These guys (and a few women too) have huge bollocks. There’s a good short video of ex-F1 driver Mark Webber spectating at the bottom of Brae Hill. I don’t like F1 but that electric shite, Formula E, is far worse. Bunch of cunts even have to change cars halfway through, as the batteries are not good enough. They’d be better racing giant pink rabbits.

    • Those tt cunts are fucking INSANE.

      Watched some dash cam footage a while ago. ….one mistake or one slip …SPLAT!

      • If you listen to the riders though, it’s nowhere near as mental as it looks. To us it’s a blur but Michael Dunlop who is the fastest man around that place says it feels more like the world has gone into slow motion and you can pick out the faces of spectators in the crowd and on more than one occasion has seen a bird flashing her tits.

    • …. I hadn’t read this far, but I also posted about Mark Webber and his friendship with John McGuinness … and his admiration for the TT riders. Brilliant ….

  16. It’s true F1 has become boring for a lot of people if they are not into all the politics of but I still like watching it all. They should have the British GP in fucking October it would likely be a fucking site warmer. Been to very few were the weather might be described as good💨 Lewis is a great racer but is now one uppity Jumped up cunt and so fucking rude when being asked questions by journo’s. Total cunt when he was on the drivers press conference, which should be scrapped by the way, messing on his cunting phone. I’m sad about McLaren fucking slopes need to get their flingers out. Verstsppen’s great to watch. Future champ given the right tools.

    • Yea I like the fact that verstappen doesn’t give a fuck when he’s on track. The rest tip toe about worried about the teams points rather than just getting their elbows out.
      Lewis is way to uppity now but you’re right he is a fucking good driver.
      I was going to cunt Honda a while ago but couldn’t be arsed. They were offered any engineers they wanted from mclaren but they said that they only wanted nips working at Honda.
      If the racist cunts took on some white westerners they might be able to build an engine that works.

  17. I don’t follow motor racing,but I’d fuck that Bernie Eccleston’s daughter till my hips were worn to a fine powder,and her fanny looked like a burst bag of ox-liver.

    • Oh fuck yeh!!! I would love to hang out the back of that! Maybe her mum could lick my nuts why we’re at it ? Tamara is fuckin hot…

    • You’d have to sign a contract with Bernie Bollocks first. You sound like a rich cunt so I reckon you’d be on. He puts a price on EVERYTHING.

  18. The only way to liven up formula one would be pre race all drivers must get bladdered, utterly fuckin battered!! Maybe even take a cheeky half……

  19. I think there should be no rules at all. Build the biggest fastest motherfucker of a car and rip the cunt around the track at awesome speeds thus making sure it’s a] a real fucking race and b] lots of cunts get killed.
    That’s why the cunts go in the first place ,to see carnage, not a procession.
    Hamilton is a pitiful cunt.

  20. They should make the cars able to take interchangeable seats etc. Then every cunt would have to drive each others cars throughout the season. At the end of the season one cunt would have more points than any of the other cunts resulting in him or HER🤡 being champ. The cars would have to be powerful as fuck tho. Difficult to handle.

    • ….. The Yamaha Pro-Am series in the ’80’s… an artic truck would pitch up at the circuit, 30 odd LC350’s in the back and the bikes handed out to the riders in the series in no particular order … all bikes evenly matched and you used what you were given. All down to the skill of the rider.

  21. They should let more women into f1.

    More women = more crashes.

    More crashes = better races.

    ….or Indian women!
    Some little Indian woman scraping down the barriers, weaving all over the track and then stopping in the middle of the road as she tries to figure out which way to go.
    That’d make things more exciting.

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