Nothing worth saying

I would like to cunt the arseholes who don’t have two brain cells to rub together, when it comes to talking. The following is a typical example of what you hear when listening to modern youth and their older ‘hipster’ followers.

“So, it’s like, you know, something that I don’t know much about, like, but it’s sort of, you know, really, really important cos I read about on, like, FaceBook, you know”.

Cunts always start a sentence with “so”. What’s the fuck’s that all about?

Nominated by: Smeggy Frenulum

75 thoughts on “Nothing worth saying

  1. Just a random aside, if you’ll permit me.

    I know you lot go in for a lot of (possibly deserved) BBC bashing, but by fuck, they do some excellent nature programs. Me and the missus have just been watching one called “Wild Japan”, and the cinematography, commentary and general production were top notch.

    Apologies, now on with the cunting.

    • They do, but David Attenborough is an overpaid, Brexit hating, Remain arsehole. The dozy old cunt thinks we should have let MP’s decide whether or not we stayed in the EU, because the rest of us aren’t smart enough. Given the usual output from British MP’s, you could easily replace the useless fucks with breeze blocks. It’d be fucking cheaper too.

  2. We get a selection of them behind the bar at the local . Sentences beginning So, and ending with a higher questioning note , often with ..yeah?
    Juvenalus Onanus Dimmus. Varying sizes, dull ,ill fitting plumage, mostly found mumbling ,slackjawed staring at small rectangular objects. Unsuitable for work, must be kept away from sharp objects.

    • My sergeant would have monologues at me like that.
      “So you thought it would be a good idea to ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, yeah?”
      Then he would get really nasty and start shouting at me !

  3. And the cunts who inflect the end of every sentence like it’s a question.

    To me, this habit is exuded by cunts who appear to be completely unsure of themselves.

    “And it will be ready by Friday?”


    “And it will be ready by Friday!”

    The former is how some 5yr old twat hipster manager type would phrase it, the latter being how I would phrase it. It’s a statement not a question you weak cunt!


    Also the ABBC had to report the bad news (seriously, it was like they were chewing shite, or reporting the death of the monarch) that sales were up across all retailers this Christmas.

    And this wasn’t just your Poundland, Aldi, Lidl, etc. discount retailers, no, it inlcuded the high end retailers like John Lewis and M&S (who haven’t managed to turn a profit outside of their food franchise for years).

    Well ABBC (and other liberal socio-global newsgroups) I would like to nominate Brexit for this upturn in sales, unlike you doom-mongers who were predicting (for your own agenda), that the “high street” would take a massive hit this Christmas as people saved their money due to “the uncertainty of Brexit.”

    Well as you can see – like all of your predictions – this was complete fallacy and – like all of your predictions – was the complete opposite of what actually transpired.

    Let’s face it, you couldn’t predict 6 o’clock following 5 o’clock these days (as has been proven time and again over the last 18 months), so – ABBC – here’s a novel thought, why don’t you ditch the liberal socio-global agenda predictions and just get back to reporting some actual news, and without the liberal slant you have to put on everything.

    The British people pay your wages so how about catering to those people and to the views which the majority of British people have now shown to you is the real feeling across the UK?

    No, didn’t think so. Ok you keep on predicting and failing while we just sit here and laugh our arses off each time you do get it wrong. It makes for great entrainment (unlike your television shows), you cunts!

    • “And it’ll be ready by Friday ?”

      I hear that a lot from Australian girls. Its nonsense, and really makes them come across as halfwits.

      • Studies have been done to examine the cause of British youth increasingly ending statements in a rising tone, as if asking a question. The culprit is said to be audio brainwashing via Neighbours and Home & Away from the late 80s onward, due to the annoying habit of Emu fuckers and especially Kiwi fiddlers (tons of NZ “actors” in Aus) of speaking as if they’re completely and utterly unsure of what they’re fucking saying 100% of the time; the cunts in need of incessant reassurance.

        “So I’m going to take a big shit now?”

        “It’s really gonna stink?”

        “Don’t go in there for half an hour?”

        “I’ll need a coathanger when I’m done?”

  4. Conor McGregor is a cunt.
    He has that smug i’m an intellectual attitude very prevalent in the republic of Ireland…..Bono with a fucking hipster beard. Makes my skin crawl.
    I hope he gets his cunt knocked in.

    • I was actually considering nominating Irish ex-pats for a cunting, are you seriously telling me it’s a common thing on the emerald Isle?

    • After his last win, he got a flunky to take a pic of him in a private jet, in his pyjamas and flip-flops.
      The doss cunt was reading a newspaper upside down.

      Still hopes he knocks the fuck out of Gayweather.

  5. Apologies to anyone on this site in advance but I have to say people with speech impediments do my cake in🤐

    • Apparently snuffed it following a heart attack.

      My pal didn’t receive treatment for ages after suffering one himself on Christmas day.

      Having a heart attack while you’re playing charades brings its own problems….

  6. Miss Wumi Abdul is a cunt.

    Miss Abdul is from the Ivory Coast,and she contacted me explaining that she needed a partner with a British bank account to enable her to transfer $12 million out of her home country. I was to receive 15% for the use of my account. She explained the hard life that she’d had and how much I’d be helping her and her family.

    Being the gentleman that I am,with a particular soft spot for downtrodden gollies, I leapt into action and sent my account details and passwords.I told her that 5% of the total would be enough for me,and she should send the extra to Bob Geldoff.

    However, there seems to have been a slight “failure to communicate” at her end,and somehow my bank account has been emptied. This is most inconvenient as my subscriptions to several specialist “adult” sites have gone unpaid.

    I emailed Miss Abdul and she was very apologetic,and explained that her father had suffered a heart attack and if I could just send £10k she could help her father and then sort out the mix-up with my account…. Well,no sooner said than done, Wumi. She also intimated that she had grown rather fond of me,and if I sent her the air-fare,romance was on the cards. I sent the extra money by cashing up my pension-pot. We can live on the fruits of love, eh Wumi?

    Now I’m sat at Heathrow,waiting for Wumi, and I’ve just had a text to say that her sister is now ill,and she’s missed her flight.

    Really,Wumi, you MUST stop being so selfless,it’s too much,sacrificing our happiness for the sake of your sick sister.

    For that reason,and that reason alone,my ebony Goddess with a heart of gold, I must cunt you.

    • Miss Abdul sounds like a fine woman with a big heart. Don’t give up on her Dick – I’m sure everything will work out for you both.

        • 3 timing! and she sent me a pic of her flange to which you are all welcome. Looked like a grenade had exploded in a mud bank.
          Only cost me £300k so no worries eh?

    • I always give them to the option to send be a £50 k in BitCoins so as I can open an account for them. The 50k is refundable once I receive the balance due.

      Strangely enough I never hear from them again. Nigeria I am here to help.

  7. This is true. I’ve noticed that a lot of affluent late teen daddy’s girls say such things like “and oh my actual God that was like so not right”. What in the peach shaded wanking machinery does that even mean?

    Speak correct English you poshbird cunts instead of well heeled designer Sloane hipster cuntspeak. It’s either some braindead scummer who can’t even string a sentence together and just grunts from time to time like a hippo with the shits, or a group of 19 year old first team netball sisterhood elites who spout their own dialect of richtalk to feel superior (usually because they’ve bought their fourth Audi on daddy’s business account). Cunts.

    • Chav cunts who can’t speak proper are cunts… The type of scrotes that are surly cunts and end everything with a ‘stressed out’ and aggressive ‘alright!’
      Except the oafs can’t say it properly and they yell ‘Am fuckin’ doin’ it! Allriot?’ (prounounced ‘All Riot!’) or ‘Yer stressin’ mi ow-ugh! Orl-rye-ugh!?’ Which translated from scumese is ‘You’re stressing me out! Alright?’

      Fucking riff-raff…

      • I have to man a phone help-line once a week at work and these knuckle dragger chav cunts ring up and say “what it is right..” and then “yeah?” at the end of every sentence. They then wait for you to say “yeah?” back before they can continue. Another saying that gets on my tits is “It is what it is”. Well it’s not going to be what it fucking ISN’T is it?

  8. send out a million of those emails and you only need a fraction of a % to fall for it and you make a killing. not as bad as the woman who sold her house to pay for her ‘online lovers’ urgent health treatment. i know that’s true because she was stupid enough to appear on TV to explain what her thinking was. unbelievable!!

    • If you’re fucking thick enough to pay it you deserve to be fucked.
      Some people are just sooooooooooo fucking desperate to be loved.

  9. ….. I was floicking up through the Freeview channels the other night when I came across some (youngish) American motorcycling bloke doing an ‘Across America type Ride’ on his bike. This could be interesting, I’m thinking ….. first stop on the West Coast was in past his ‘buddy’, bike ‘designer and builder’ / Twat, Roland Sands. Once the two of them started talking to each other, I thought it was a different fucking language and was looking for sub-titles … “Dude” … “Awesome” … “Killer” … “Sick” … backwards and forwards between the two of them, not a proper fucking sentence spoken for the two minutes I could bear to watch.

    If I want to subject myself to infantile ‘Surfer Speak’, I’ll watch a bit of Bill and Ted’s Big Adventure type shit which you really should have grown out of by the end of your teens …..

  10. My central heating boiler is cunt.

    Barely five years old and one sniff of cold weather and it faults, not on warm days no, it’s happy to then pump loads of usless heat into my humble hovel.

    The cunts who have charged me to fix it are cunts, the people who sold it me and fitted it are cunts and the makers who turned the piece of cat puke out are cunts.

    Not as big as Audi drivers however.

  11. A quick cunting for the cunts who are upset by Joseph Fiennes playing Michael Jackson, including his white daughter.

    So a white man playing a black man is as we know the most offensive thing possible, even though Jackson himself seemed happy enough to be a black man playing at being a white fairy-tale character for most of his adult life.

    When Edie Murphy played a white man that was fine and dandy and when the two black guys did the shit movie made up as white girls that was also fine, Mad Donna’s black Jesus, no fucking problem.

    Colour we are told is only skin deep, very thin fucking skin apparently.

    For fuck sakes people it’s not a biggie, it’s a comedy you cunts. It’s not like they got a white actor to remake Shaft is it?

    Whilst we are on this subject Obama is 50% white, no cunt is hollering it’s wrong for him to be claimed as the first black president, saying that you claimed him the credit, you also claim the blame.

    • I can’t imagine why anyone would want to see a film about that kid-diddler. Why not just make a film celebrating the life of Jimmy Savile and be done with the job.

    • As soon as I see the phrase ‘trending on twitter’, I know that refers to a load of wank. Apparently, trending today is ‘baftas so white’. Yep, it’s awards time again, and loads of uppity cunts have taken to the twat magnifier that is twitter to piss and moan about the lack of people of colour up for the main gongs. Social media is living proof that humanity is not mature enough to wear grown up pants.

      • Has it ever occurred to the Twatter mongs that the reasons the Colden Globes and Baftas were ‘so white’ is not because they’re racist but maybe because the black actors and the films they were in were just not good enough?

        The day they start doing quotas or any of that bullshit is the days such awards are rendered worthless.

      • They’ll be fucking moaning next that the swimming at the Olympics is racist – and the diving – and the ice skating – and curling……………….

    • I don’t know the dates or who decided this, but after slavery, when interracial relationships resulted in mixed race children, some high and mighty cunt said that “one drop” is enough.
      If you have white heritage but also a hint of other, you were classed as other.

      And it has carried on to this day.

      The black president was ignored by his black heritage, leaving whitey to do his upbringing.
      But for some reason he is a “proud black man”.

      I had a grandmother who was of a religion that doesn’t make it through moderation first time (she was deuish) and my great grandmother on my mothers side was Indian (the real India), my mothers English, my father Scottish and i was born in Scotland but always thought of myself as English (fuck you Da).
      I say I’m English, but if “one drop” is the rule, then i don’t know what i am.

  12. atm i don’t consider myself a cunt but in April i am buying an Audi A3. . i will let you know if i notice any change of behaviour. of course i could be such a cunt that i don’t realise i’m a cunt. never know.

    • Yep, you will be a cunt.

      You’ll think your 2.0 tdi (tedious) is a hypercar, you’ll start jumping red lights, drive like a demented lunatic and probably drive round in clear daylight with your front fog lights on.

      All symptoms of Audi look at me I’m a cuntitis.

      (or you could just be Asian I suppose)

  13. Stewart Regan, SFA chief executive , said this after FIFA expanded the world cup to 48 teams.
    “We believe this is a positive step and will allow more fans across the globe to revel in their countries participation at a world cup finals ”

    Even though its legible, its still a load of nonsense.
    It not just hipster cunts, its everybody who has a microphone put in front of them.
    Sit back and listen to the radio, nobody is saying anything, even though words are coming out.

    • They’ll have to expand it to a lot more than 48 teams before Scotland qualify,especially with that ginger dwarf cunt Strachan in charge.

      • Thank fuck I don’t live in porridge land and have to watch what they serve up as football.

  14. Rolfy Boy been found out again,He was doing them in the wheel chair community,Thought of the day,Why do paks on tv always say community???,Fucking Chelmsford abandoned due to snow,So iv’e had Elementary 1.30 at lingfield tomorrow,Its the queens horse so hope to get a good run for my money took 4/1 with pp.

  15. That useless twat Graham Taylor has died. Bet the papers will be full of shit about great he was – the same papers that mercilessly mocked him throughout his time as England manager.

    I wonder if I’ve still got that documentary about him amongst the old video cassettes in the attic. Reckon it’s worth anything to the twittermongs who collect anything “ironic”?

    • You could always use that docu-drama they made about his time in charge of England. I think it was called “Mike Bassett, England Manager”.

    • The revisionism since Taylor’s demise is nauseating… All this shite (especially from the press and those BBC knobheads) about how he was one of the ‘Greatest English managers’ and the particularly crawly ‘Maybe now he will now get the recognition he deserves’ is a load of knackers.. No cunt ever said that when he was alive, and recognition for what?… For turning the England side into a laughing stock and failing to get to The World Cup?… He was hated by most of the country in 93/94, and I bet well over half of those two faced cunts are now gushing tributes about him… And one of the managerial greats?… OK, what he did at Watford was an achievement (on Elton John’s money), but knobends are going on like he’s on a par with Busby, Mercer, Shankly and Clough… What a load of griefjacking arse…

      • …. some bollocks on the Jeremy Vine show today on … ‘Shouldn’t WE ALL be apologetic for how he was treated ‘ … Eh, no, not us all … just you media Cunts if you want to … they were the fuckers that ridiculed him at the time. I fucking hate the BB fucking C.

        • It’s a bit similar to the Saint Jo of Cox nonsense… Because she was killed, the media fucktards and Twittertwats have decided that Cox is now beyond criticism, and that saying she was anti-British, anti-Brexit, and cared more for migrants than her own constutuents is nothing short of treason… However true it is…This ‘hands off’ approach now also applies to her cunt of a husband, Saint Brendan…

          Taylor was a failure at the highest level: the England job… And fans had the right to be critical and annoyed in 93/94… It was the media who persecuted the man, and now they are all sad and upset?… Fucking scum, the lot of them…

    • Lump on Richard live life in the fast lane,If it don’t win do what i do flagellant yourself with a belt with nails in or blame the wife,No its not a cert its just a prediction but i;m going for it,I’ve never been to lingers it dont seem to exciting from what i;ve seen on the tv,I never much watch horse racing even if i’ve had a bet.

  16. Has anybody ever seen the programme “My 600-lb life” ?
    I’m on my third episode tonight, and apart from shouting “fuck off”, I’ve either been pissing myself laughing or my jaw has been on the floor.
    These cunts have got excuses for everything and everyone’s to blame apart from themselves.
    They all claim to eat for comfort. As i wrote that , the word comfort was uttered, again.
    If it wasn’t so funny laughing at these massive people trying to shower, sit down, get up , get in a car/out of a car and climb stairs, I’d be kicking the telly in.
    They are at their best when going shopping, though, but they do complain that ignorant people stare.
    They are the size of houses, if people didn’t stare, that would be ignorant.
    Every story has been the same so far, but its fun.
    One guy (Chet) didn’t notice he was ballooning up to 500-lbs plus until he got there.
    They narrate their own individual episodes, and it all the usual self pitying and the struggle/journey the are experiencing.
    Some may say i am mocking the weak, but i feel its self inflicted and they deserve all they get.

    Greedy , selfish cunts.

    • Not seen it Bird will be starting my little work out soon i will keep you informed on progress ,I will look out for the programme ,Cyril Smith was a bit over weight ,He looked like a big fucking hot air balloon ,Fucking hell i bet he put away a few pies in his time,Talking about pies i think he was a fucking member as well,What a big fucking bag of shit he was,What a fucking weird place that fucking Rochdale is fucking strange place that.

      • What i don’t get about incidents like Rochdale is , where are the local “hard men” ?
        The polis and social services are cunts in all this, but back in the day, i believe locals would have put a stop to this themselves.
        Just another sign of Britain throwing it all away.

        • Very good point Bird,Its all gone down hill,Know one wants to know these days if you dropped dead in the street they would just walk over you after going through your fucking pockets first,Its in a sorry state.

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