Michael Portillo


Michael Portillo deserves a good cunting.

I Just turned on the TV, for some reason it was on BBC 1 and I was greeted with Andrew Neil on some politics wank. That was bad enough and almost had me sticking my foot through the TV but imagine my surprise to see the fat, bloated cunt that is Michael Portillo sitting there with a smug grin on his face like he had just arse raped a fox on a spring hunt with his Tory chums.

This fucking Tory turd burglar possesses possibly the most punch-able face on TV, he is up there with Philip Schofield.

If I won the lottery I would hire the O2 arena, book Portillo & Schofield via their agents and buy a 3 wood golf club, I’m sure you can guess the rest!

Alas that will never happen, you have more chance of Jimmy Savile turning up on BBC Breakfast to apologize than winning the lottery these days!

Nominated by: Boaby

23 thoughts on “Michael Portillo

  1. When Portillo was still in the Cabinet, he was giving a television interview on College Green opposite the House of Commons and a friend of mine rode his pushbike as close as he could get and screamed “YOU CUNT, PORTILLO!” at him.

  2. Let me guess…………. Was it that interview with Maajid Nawaz? If so, the way they treated him was horrendous.

    A good man (who should be a BBC wet dream insofar as he’s a British Muslim of Pakistani origin who’s a former Islamist) was being interviewed and was constantly being overruled or contradicted by a white, non-muslim faggot and a mixed race, presumably non-muslim.

    Maajid was asked to back up his statement about large scale support for islamism and jihadism among moderate muslims with statistics…….. which he did in short order and was promptly cut off by that ginger-fuzzy-pube-headed jock cunt Andrew Neill with “Oh I’m sorry, we appear to have run over time!” ………….. Yeah!…… My fucking ARSE!

    You got a message in your ear piece from your leftist overlords saying “SHIT! …….FACTS! ……..KRYPTONITE…….YOU MUST OBEY!”

    What a cunt.

  3. “Michael Portillo sitting there with a smug grin on his face like he had just arse raped a fox on a spring hunt with his Tory chums.”
    I would not recomend this at all unless you are training up to Badger buggery, foxes can be rather toothy little fuckers when they want to be.

    • Any cunt with the middle names Denzil and Xavier who likes choo choo trains has got to be a cunt.

  4. i seem to remember reading somewhere that Portillo was caught engaging in a sex act with Peter Lilley in the house of commons, does anyone know if that is actually true?

    • My pal was part of the clean up team employed on this one.
      Apparently the whole thing was a huge mess…….needed two mops.

  5. Just when you thought Iain Duncan Smith couldn’t be an even bigger cunt than he already was…

    Now it’s crocodile tears for some single mother… I wonder, does he also cry for the sick and mentally ill people he drove to death or suicide with his merciless DWP/Atos purge? He reminds me of Eichmann, when he showed ‘remorse’ at this trial… If something heavy is going to come down on this cunt soon, I hope it kills him..


    • Think Duncan Smith looks a lot like Fritz Sauckel , think we hung that fucker at Nueremberg

  6. I’d like to nominate someone who this very website could be said was designed for, but by quirk of injustice, not appeared thus far: Stewart Lee

    Stewart Lee is a smug, supercilious, condescending cunt. When I look at him I quite literally see a moaning, heaving slab of meaty cunt, sweating under the weight of its own massive cuntishness, like a congenitally impaired pug waiting to die.

    I recently watched a video of him explaining how ‘Political Correctness’ was just “Institutionalised Politeness at worst”, as if this description wasn’t dangerously close to sounding anything like, I dunno, state-backed censorship or anything!!

    He then went on about how every man and his dog was a massive racist bully until PC came along to teach us all manners and niceties to minorities etc etc. Riiiight!!! That’s probably party true. But, what about ALL the damage and carnage it’s done to Free Speech you cunt?! (that’s probably for another ‘Cunting’ time and place)

    Also, we should be immensely grateful for this knowledge, of course, because everything Stewart says is so laced with unrivalled intelligence and cutting-edge thinking that if you aren’t laughing at the exact right moments, for the exact right amount of time or gleefully delighting in his carefully-worded prose, you are probably a morally deficient scum bag who loves Top Gear then beats his wife with gay person you killed earlier.

    And so, on he rambled in his holier-than-thou, ‘my farts smell so beautiful, mmmm’ type way until I could swear I saw my testicles holding up knives to me saying “cut us off just so the pain can take your mind off this bloated vaginas excruciating bullshit”.

    Listening to this, I couldn’t help but feel it’s shit sacks like Stewart who have inculcated the culture of professional umbrage-taking that has emerged online, in universities and in the media over the last few years.

    Everything about Stewart Lee makes me choose to pour cement into my own anal cavity rather than have to sit through another snarky, preachy word coming out that fat fucks cunt hole. His comedy is just posturing for his mates at The Guardian and the laughter he does illicit is just self-congratulatory, self-regarding wanking designed to make you feel superior and somehow morally refined. Cunt!

    Anyway, I’ll leave it there.

    • It’s ok, I think we are going to have a “cunt trials” court at some point soon.

      Far too many cunts about, so need to have a bit of a clear out. Going to be a busy day at the gallows though

  7. Great cunting, Stewart Lee, lauded over by beardy apple owning hipster cunts who think they are the intelligent.
    And if you dare to mention Stewart Lee is an unfunny cunt his acolytes proclaim you don’t understand his meta comedy.
    Yes whatever, check his latest show on iPlayer, he spends 10 minutes mentioning food items on someone called Rod Liddle’s clothes before spending another 10 minutes making the noises of eating poppadoms.
    If that’s intelligent meta comedy then you can stick it up your arse, I’d rather be an ignorant cunt watching Alf Garnet rip it to the sambos

    • Yeah, thanks. I was invited to go see Stewart Lee once with some work friends. These worthy cunts loved him and drooped over every pious word he uttered as if it was mana straight out Gods arse.

      I naturally declined, explained how I thought he was itchingly smug and so they went without me.

      Rod Liddle is mostly alright, but, Stewart tends to pick fights with journalists (ie low-hanging fruit) when he doesn’t get a 10/10 review, and so Rod Liddle (a man who commits Left wrong think now and then) is his fave target atm.

      The popadom routine reminds me of watching Stewart miming a man chiselling a grave stone for 5 minutes (a lifetime in comedy terms) by hitting the mic stand with the mic. The sheer brilliance and esoteric genius of this art-piece was sadly lost on me.

  8. I am cunting Google. The Olympian Messianic cunts have suddenly locked Safe Search on permanently on all Google searches. No discussion, no warning, thought police bastards. Matters to me because I always access ISAC through the search bar to keep search ratings for the site as high as possible.
    Bastard search engine now pisses its knickers at isacunt and says it does not recognise the search term despite me having done it this way for years.Bollocks.
    Much discussion orn line and despite options to turn Safe Search orf it is confirmed they do not work.
    Consequently have kicked Google orf me machine and am using Bing (no problem).
    Fuck orf Google. No block orn search terms like Suicide Vest or Bomb Making Materials (tried them) so what about a punter’s human right to view a spot orf porno? Hypocritical PC Cunts.

  9. It’s that time of the morning again…and, indeed, time yet AGAIN to cunt that appalling wankstain sometimes referred to as Iain Duncan-Smith (kind of repetitive, I guess, but…). He broke down “in tears” during an interview re victims of his warped benefits system. He’s only been in post six years, isn’t it a wee bit late for the fucking little hypocrite to pull the onion out of his Savile Row pocket and turn on the waterworks now? JUST FUCK OFF AND DIE, YOU EVIL (anagram of VILE – oops!!) LITTLE TURD. Someone once said of politicians that “the higher up the tree they get, the more revolting the parts they reveal”. Given his face, I hate to think what the rest of this APOLOGY for a humanoid looks like…

  10. Back to Portillo or Portaloo as some old crone called him during an election broadcast. Inner circles have known he is camp for years as evidenced by his arse oit mincing walk. Best study orf form suggests the cunt bats both ways.

    • I can’t wait to tell my Dad. He’s a former railwayman and loves Portillo’s Train Journey Show. Mind you he’s nearly 80 so perhaps best not to, don’t want to induce apoplexy in the old boy….

  11. I quite like the train shows missen.
    I’ll just go and get my suicide belt on and find an HST…..,,

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