Frozen yoghurt

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Frozen yoghurt should be cunted

I have recently seen these shops opening with the name “Frurt” above the window. Now at first I thought it was just a Geordie greengrocers. But I have been told that Frurt is frozen yoghurt and that people actually eat this shit. What sort of cunt spends their dinner hour buying frozen fruit yoghurt in such a poncey place for extortionate prices? If they want something frozen and fruit flavoured why don’t they get some fucking ice cream?!

Anyone who pays daft money for a pot of Ski that has been in a freezer is a complete cunt…

Nominated by: Norman

18 thoughts on “Frozen yoghurt

    • Gellato is bloody ace , I can’t vouch for frozen yogurt but it seems overpriced but everything is expensive nowadays. To answer your question Gelato is made with a base of milk, cream, and sugar with less fat but more sugar. Flavored with fruit and nut purees. Personally I love it, it costs a bit more then ice cream though

      • Never tried it. I was wondering because gelato shops seem to be everywhere.

        Just with no customers.

        • “Just with no customers.” lol no customers? it must to be a hell of a company with no customers to survive like that.
          I’m sensing a anti-gellato vibe here, I recommend you try some gellato mate.
          That yogurt ad is food porn 101 though

          • It has been mentioned that Gelato shops are just a money laundering front for the mafia. Never any customers, but they seem to keep surviving.

            I am now intrigued though. Going to have to try some. 🙂

  1. Well………………………….When served with: meringue, ice cream. strawberries, double cream and called Eaton mess I find it quite acceptable; there’s your problem Norm: it needs a calorie boost.

    On its own: a Cunt…

  2. Apparently it’s a franchise – originating in Manchester so not all bad.

    “Not only a treat… but a lifestyle…”

    Oh dear.

    Well thanks frurt but I think my breakfast lifestyle will continue to heavily involve a toaster and a kettle for now…

    • That’s where I saw the shop, Nickelby… It was near Cheetham Hill… I just can’t see the Mancunian working man (including myself) swapping the bacon butty and brew for this frozen vomit….

      • I remember, many years ago, sitting on my tool box on cheetham hill road looking up at strangeways prison, waiting for a lift – don’t remember thinking “i could murder a frozen yoghurt right now”.

  3. I thought Eton Mess was the stuff that gets injected into dead pigs by future Prime Ministers…

  4. You never know, it might catch on now we are all overweight with uncontrollable sugar desires.
    It’s bollocks of course, like all that ‘friendly bacteria’ stuff recycled from raw sewage, fuck probiotics, what we need is a decent dollop of lard and carbs.
    Gelato, on the other hand is a bit moreish and comes from the right end of a cow. This shite comes from the other exit, chuck it on your fruit bushes, might do something useful there.
    And why the bloody bollocks is sourfuckingdough all the rage now? What’s up with good old fashioned bread? And I mean stuff from your local bakery, not that artisan shit made from bird cage sweepings and third world grains.

    • Old fashioned bread?! You philistine you!

      I imagine this foodie culture has something to do with mostly smug inward perceptions of class and social status (for those troubled by such things).

      No doubt I could probably claim to feel culturally satisfied by an artisan streetfood sourdough sandwich of organic hommous and smoked tofu…

      But I’d feel far more genuinely fucking satisfied with a normal chip butty dunked in gravy washed down with a bottle of Hobgoblin!

      • And you’d have a shit with two ends to it. All that modern peasant food just gives me dysentery. In passing, was Boddingons brewery still at Strangeways when you were nobbut a lad lurking around Cheetham Hill with the local massive? I saw they brew the fucking stuff at a chemical works in Monmoutb now, no wonder the local HMP guests threw a paddy on the prison roof.

        • Yeah just, I moved on in 2003. I guess this yoghurt shite is the cream of Manchester now…

          • Yeah, you’re not far wrong… Boddies is practically served nowhere now (and it’s not brewed here now anyway), with Joey Holt’s now as the king of Manc beers… Granada now exists in name only, The Evening News is now a rag for Twitter and clickabait cunts, City are a rebranding project for rich Abu Dhabi cunts, and United are owned by weirdo inbred American carpetbagger cunts…

            All these cunts who say the old place changed for the better after those Fenian cunts dumped that bomb as St. Mary’s Gate… Well, not as far as I’m concerned… There are less local businesses, pubs and shops now… It’s all corporate big name shite like Starbucks, Krispy Kreme, Costa, Hard Rock Cafe and all that crap… Even the legendary Dutch Pancake House has gone now… And as for that huge ‘Sushi Bar’ in the Arndale Centre, there should be a big sign at the entrance that says ‘Cunts only!’

            Oh, and every other voice is Eastern European and they can’t even be arsed to learn English….

            Look what they done to our town, Ma….

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r44Ach4mXE4

          • No Dutch Pancake Shop! That’s a crying shame boo hoo. My gels loved it going there when we spent a year in Manchester whilst I was doing my teacher training (which was fun, my first six weeks were in Ducie Central High School, a real baptism of fire).
            Fondly remember all those clogs, fake delft pottery and saucy uniforms. Bugger!

  5. Is it made from Stuart Halls jizz as collected over the years at the Granada studios ?

  6. Is it as efficacious as normal yoghurt when a filly gets a dose orf thrush? And is that the same as a fanny sundae (that’s with two scoops)?

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