Jools Holland’s Annual Hootnanny


It’s New Year’s Eve and yet again we are going to be subjected to the talentless putile shit that is Jools Holland’s Annual Hootnanny.

It’s enough to drive you to drink – but that’s OK as it’s New Year’s Eve.

Personally, putting shit like this on to see the new year in is all the convincing I need to go to bed and sleep through it.

Bring back Andy Stewart.

Or anything…

Nominated by: Dioclese

29 thoughts on “Jools Holland’s Annual Hootnanny

  1. Dead right, Dio… I shall just put what I wrote about Holland and his goon show yesterday…

    Jools Holland is a twat… His filmed on a November afternoon and totally fake New Years’s Eve Cuntenanny will be blighting our screens tomorrow night once again… Any good acts on it? Well, there’s Paul Welller and…. err… that’s it….

    The usual collection of pub rock musos, ex-Squeeze members, Chrissie ‘Cunt’ Hynde, Some tosser MOJO Magazine readers think is great, but nobody else does, some old relic from the 60s who is ready for the knackers yard, some ‘World Music’ bollocks nobody has ever heard of, Ruby Turner/Beverley Knight (same fucking thing!), that Rowland Rivron cunt, and loads of BBC aristocracy (Saunders, ‘Sir’ Lenny, Diara O’ Bogtrotter, Edmondson, Jupitus, Reeves, that silly bitch who is shagging Martin Freeman), whose arses old Jools will lick accordingly, will no doubt be in residence as fucking usual… What a load of shite…

      • What about when he was with Squeeze who can forget 1″Another nail in my cunt” 2 “Up the cunt” 3 “Cool for cunts ” 4″Take me i am a cunt ” and last but not least 5 “Pulling mussels from a cunt ” .So Jools is not only a poxy little midget piano playing tosser he is also a “Cunt”

  2. I would like to nominate the internet ‘lost it’ brigade for a well deserved cunting.

    Three times now in a week i’ve seen internet trolleymongs use the phrase ‘lost it’ when referring to the fact that something random a complete fucking stranger has posted that has caused them to dribble shake and tremble in rage and ‘lose it’ whilst hammering the shit out of their keyboard in a clumsy insult laden rant that they think passes as a reply but actually reflects all the insults that have been leveled at them all their lives by their alcoholic depressed and disappointed parents/carers or the people that pretend to like them lol

    I would seriously like to advocate their suicide as a solution to their weak mindedness affliction as the internet and the world in general would be better off without these low rent intellectually deficient oxygen wasters, the only drawback to this solution I can imagine is I may have to source my own supermarket trolley…but that is an inconvenient chance I am willing to take for the greater good!

    HAPPY NEW YEAR cunters to almost everyone here 😉

    • There have been some right mongs on here this year… That ‘Disabled Toilet’ prick who claimed to be part of ‘the dark web’ and have links to the IRA (Ha Fucking Ha!)… Then some humourless Scottish knob threw his toys out of the pram because he was offended by the word ‘Jock’ (the soft bastard!) and tried to pick a fight with more or less everyone (I think he was pissed, and no, I don’t think all Scots are humourless knobs… Just in case anyone takes offence at that, when it isn’t even aimed at them!)… Nevertheless, we all continue fight the good fight and cunt the bad cunts… A Happy New Year to all cunters…

      • On that note.

        Happy new year cunters! (bit early, I know)

        I hope 2016 brings nothing but but the best for you and yours.

        Love your company and your humour.

        Have a great one!

      • Dave The Disabled Toilet Troll – not a fully-fledged cunt, merely a quimbecile.

        Other than that, you’re spot on, Norman.

  3. Full blown need to CUNT the CUNTS that send their CUNTING fucking Happy New Year wishes four fucking hours early.

    Now I know the mobile networks are shite but fuck right off with your well wishing you CUNT. I haven’t heard from you all fucking year so fuck right off you CUNT!!!

    Oh…….and Happy New Year all you all!!!!

  4. It isn’t just Jools Holland who’s crap, it’s 99.9% of the television programmes they’ve shown over the last two weeks. The christmas period is usually dire on tv but this year they’ve outdone themselves. Used to be able to rely on the documentary channels for some reasonable viewing but this year they’ve copped out by scheduling series after series of repeats.

    • Agree 100%, The television programmes have been total shit this Christmas. The cunts.

    • It says a lot about how crap Christmas TV has been, that Chas and Dave were given a show.

    • I remember when I was younger… There was Top Of The Pops (when it had real bands on it!), The Two Ronnies, Morecambe & Wise, Steptoe & Son etc… Now it’s so bad and thin on the ground that they saved Sherlock till the New Year and Mrs Brown’s Boys was on twice (three times if you count the film!)… The New Year’s Eve Old Grey Whistle Test was better than that Hootenanny crap too… Anyone else remember this? Nobody today would get away with what Kenny got up to here: Bryan Ferry? That man’s a honky!

  5. Just read Angela Merkel ‘s new years address to the German people, by fuck its great, “an opportunity for tomorrrow !” just cant wait for the sitcom “tosbeho ‘ala khair-pet!” I recommend for the Dennis Patterson role(defacto leader) Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi anyone else fancy nominating Oz, Neville, Bomber and Barry Etc happy new year all!! and remember whether you are a cunt, been a cunt, likely to become a cunt or just like telling us who is a cunt! do what makes you smile.

  6. What a cunt 2015 was, I wonder if 2016 will be my year? If it is the drinks are on me you cunts. Now fuck off.

  7. All the best, Black and White Cunt… Do you think Jools Holland goes out of his way to get the biggest selection of cunts for his show? And I forgot one… KT Fucking Cunt Tunstalll… Every fucking year, guaranteed…

    And that cunt trumpet Bryan Adams can fuck off and all…

    • All the best to you too Norman, Hootenay Jools Holland is a prick, KT Tunstall is a has been cunt. His show is full of shit ‘artists’, another year 2016 fuckin ell I have got to get my act together this year. Ps May the title race be between LFC and Man U. Well one can hope. Still I put a fiver on us winning it (33-1). Its a weird season, any Team who puts a 7 match winning run could win it.

  8. Happy New Year Cunters one and all. New Years Day and not a trace of a hangover. Being the designated driver on New Years Eve is, frankly, a bit of a cunt…….

  9. This year’s ‘New Year’s Eve’ (Ha Fucking Ha!) line-up will feature Chaka Khan, Christine and the Queens, Roy Wood, Rag’n’Bone Man, Gregory Porter, ABC, Seasick Steve, Dr. John Cooper Clarke & Hugh Cornwell, Caravan Palace, along with Ali Campbell, Astro and Mickey from UB40, Imelda May, Ruby Turner, and the Pipes and Drums of the 1st Battalion Scots Guards….

    The usual load of shite and muso-wank, then….
    Should be grateful that there is no KT Cuntstall or Lily Mong this year though…

    • And Gregory Porter is such a paint drying boring cunt… He would put an insomniac on speed to sleep…

  10. This shows an absolute must miss!! Holland needs to ask himself this one simple question…. are the people watching as pleased with Holland as he is with himself??
    Every year the list of musical diarrhoea grows, it appears the guest list is made up of Cunts with nowhere else to go, and I can only presume that Holland thinks the same of the people who watch it??, in the age of sky virgin Amazon fire stick and the like there’s no need to suffer this TV relic of a bygone age…. it’s a truly tragic end to the year😂😂😂😂

  11. Holland is an eighteen carat, hunchback cunt, he insists on joining in with his plinky plonky piano, ruining whatever song it is. Ugly little cunt, the worst voice any cunt could wish for.
    A cunt, just a total cunt. Fuck off, hunchback cunt.

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