Hypochondriacs deserve a good cunting.

I am not talking about those messed up hypochondriacs that need psychiatric examination. I am talking about them fucking feckless depressives with irrelevant superficial little ailments that clog up GP surgeries and hospital A&E departments.

Oh dear..my darling child son has a slight cough and bit of a fever temperature, I must see a doctor NOW. Doc…I’m so down and feel depressed and anxious…please help me. Oh…my tummy is rumbling and it hurts a bit – I may have a cancer tumour, I must rush to A&E NOW. Got a bee sting? Got an ankle sprain? Had a little accident and cut your finger requiring a dab of disinfectant and a plaster? Oh dear I must see a doctor NOW. I paid my national insurance, why should I pay 25p for a pack of supermarket aspirin to cure my head cold…I’m going to visit the doctor at the surgery and get some free prescription medicine.

Wishful thinking…If I was a NHS doctor I would tell these cunt hypochondriacs to stop wasting tax payers money and fuck off. There is nothing wrong with you.

On those rare occasions I myself get a cough, muscle aches, a stuffed or running nose I know it is cold or flu symptoms. No big deal. It’s all down to the vagrancies of the British weather, my life style or maybe germs from other people in the air and on surfaces. Cheap doses of lemon/ honey and/or a 3p paracetamol/aspirin tablet will quickly cure me. I am a chef by trade, but having such symptoms won’t stop me going to work either. (No worries people, I know what needs to be done to stop me or others cross contaminating any food in my kitchen work place).

Nominated by: Entopy

16 thoughts on “Hypochondriacs

  1. I admit I have some form of minor form of Hypochondria but i don’t clog up hospitals in fact I have Nosocomephobia I hate hospitals and doctors are hypocritical assholes who will often mis diagnose you or prescribe you something you do not need , doctors usually have a messiah complex to complement their ego . Although I have a pretty decent one at the moment. People who clog up emergency services are bloody cunts.

  2. FUCKING women’s World Cup!!!

    Football, rugby, cricket………..who fucking cares. Watch them, they’re shit in all three events. Don’t even get me started on tennis where the screaming cunts feel they should be paid the same as a man when they don’t even play the same fucking game. Best of three sets for £1m!!!! CUNTS!!!

    As for the cunts that promote this shit all over the press and TV they should be ashamed of themselves. Stick to netball and hockey which are WOMEN’S sports or at a push golf where at least the women can compete to some degree with the men!!!

    • That England Womens’ managaer is definitely suspect… Looks like a right knicker sniffer…

      The only female tennis player I will watch now is Maria Sharapova… I’ll say no more.. I liked women’s tennis better when I was a kid… I badly wanted to give one to Chris Evert…

    • Don’t start me off about ADHD!

      ADHD deserves a really good cunting.

      ADHD and AADD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Adult Attention Deficit Disorder respectively) are two formerly popular propaganda terms used by the parents of stupid children, crappy teachers, and white collar drug dealers masquerading as NHS GP doctors. Parents neglecting their children, combined with a steady diet of political correctness, increases a child’s risk of being labeled with ‘ADHD’ by 90%.

      The symptoms of ADHD are very similar to those of the closely related Asparagus Brain Syndrome. They include:

      * Inability to get jokes unless they are Childrens BBC quality (because of inattentiveness).

      * Constantly telling everyone about ADHD.

      * Forgetting that one has ADHD.

      * Claiming that Thomas Edison, Beethoven, or Einstein had the same disease, and thus that they are part of a genius master race.

      * Being easily upset when people call their disease a disease. Being upset when they don’t.

      * Yelling random things at a wall for three hours.

      * Staring at a wall for 5 hours.

      According to drug companies, the best way to “cure” this “disorder” is to pump sufferers full of drugs, especially if patients are children.

      Drugs, behavioural rewards and anger management are just PC treatments for ADHD/AADD and are fucking useless. In my opinion ADHD is really an inability to deal with a minor impairment or disability or you are a closet bully or narcissist. For a child the best treatment is ‘a jolly good slapping’ For an adult the best treatment is ‘a fucking good kicking’.

      • Actually ADD or ADHD rarely gets treated anymore unfortunately because because a few stupid kids down their bottle of ritalin or adderall killing themselves , now people like me can’t get treated anymore. I myself can’t find a doc or psychiatrist to treat me so i’m left to suffer or self medicate myself. The Drug War hurts more people then it helps because anybody who needs a narcotic/drug for a justifiable reason is treated like criminal .

  3. I was in A and E a few years back (kidney stones since you ask). My wait was made so much more fun by observing the merry antics of the pikey scum getting treated ahead of me by virtue of being loud and aggressive. “I’m having a heart attack I swear to God”.

    I was probably the only cunt in the place who’d ever paid any National Insurance. People go on about the NHS being a great institution, fuck off. Let’s get an American-style system going where those who pay in get preferential treatment.

    I’ve got a GP appointment tomorrow morning, and will be carrying my righteous anger to it.

    • Know how you felt. After three operations they put me on potassium citrate tablets and the problem disappeared. They should have put me on that stuff to start with, the cunts.

  4. Yeah, good old ADHD eh Fred? Another fucking ism or ological or whatever bollocks some overpaid head doctor calls it this week. In the sixties and seventies when social justice was the cheapest and most successful justice there was, ‘they’ had a significant cure for cunts that were afflicted with ADHD and it would be administered by parents, police and community elders & betters at a moments notice. Rather than tablets or psycologists, black eyes seemed to be a cure-all for the majority of those anti social related ailments. As for hypochondria, that is a luxury that isn’t generally enjoyed by people who have a mortgage.

    • Bang on truth, iorek! Parent and authority administered chastisement for any ADHD cunt was the way it went in the past.

      And it worked.

    • Doctor cunts love to make up new syndromes in order to pigeonhole patients and thus squeeze the public teat for a bit more ‘research cash’.

      Most people (probably 99% of cunts treated by the NHS) have fuck all wrong with them that can’t be cured by a exercise or a good fucking slap.

      • Captain! That comment has just made my fucking day! Ha! Ha! Fucking spot on, give the cunts a fucking good slap…. Ha! Ha!

  5. I wish to nominate Saudi Arabian “cleric” (and, I presume, owner of a micropenis) Sheikh Bandar al-Khaibari as a complete cunt.


    This twat reckons he knows more about cosmology than Copernicus, Galileo and Newton – just because he’s read the book of fairy tales attributed to semi-historical paedophile, desert bandit and all-round wankstain Mohammad.

    Watch the link, his explanation of flying to China is unintentionally hilarious. The Neolithic folks who built Stonehenge knew more the workings of the universe than this cocksucker, thousands of fucking years before the Koran dribbled out of the ass of the (presumably pre-pubescent) camel Mo was fucking because the girls at the local kindergarten were already being humped by his fellow beard wearers.

  6. I used to work with this woman who was a hypochondriac, every fucking day she would come in to the office and proclaim she had some obscure fucking disease, she was get an itch on her finger, Google it and find some retarded blog that said it was legionnaires disease or similar.
    The lazy cunt never did a full week in the 2 years I was at that shithole and was in and out of her doctors so often she had it on speed-dial and I assume the surgery put asie a slot every day for the mad bitch.

    I actually thought about her the other day when someone was complaining about chest pain, how ironic would it be if she has been run over going to the doctors? 😀

  7. You miss the point, the irony is in the fact she is always going to the doctors believing she has some incurable disease, if she was not in the doctors 3 times a week then she would not have gotten run over outside the doctors.
    I’m guessing you are a Yank, irony is something they do not understand, like McDonalds, Chucky Cheese & Bennigans is not nutritious food 😛

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