John Hammond


John Hammond is an annoying little cunt.

This prancing, preening, cocky little twat is being pushed forward (it would seem) as the “face of BBC weather”, being put up to present every feature about the weather on the BBC news. What an ugly little troll of a face it is too, good only for a prolonged spell as a stand-in punchbag. Watching this annoying little cunt, and worse hearing his thin whiny voice is bad enough, but his intonations (“brrrrright and breezy”, “it’ll be a bright, crisssssspp day”) and the annoying way he keeps smacking his lips together before every bloody sentence is the worst.

Add to that his hand movements (creepy in the extreme if you ask me) and the way he almost bounces around as he presents the same boring weather as yesterday and you have a little fanny hole of a annoying little cunt that makes my blood boil every time I see him.

Get that creepy, lisping little cunt off my TV BBC!

Nominated by: Colin Murray’s Brain

21 thoughts on “John Hammond

  1. Richard Hammond is indeed a king sized cunt…. The twat (along with those other overgrown schoolboys, Clarkson and May) treats cars like they are toys to be played with… Hammond pisses about at 300mph, yet when he crashes there’s a wave of tabloid inspired sympathy and a deluge of grief monkeys… Fuck that. My brother was hit (and killed) by car. So if Hammond endangers his life by acting like a dick in a speeding motor, then he deserves all he gets….

    On the subject of John Hammond: he’s even more irritating than Francis Wilson and Wincey Willis were on TVAM… No mean feat….

    • Same happened with me Norman. I have a loathing for Hammond and his bum-chums and their “petrol head” supporters. Fuckwits like Messrs, Hammond, Clarkson and May and their schoolboy antics inspire hordes of dickheads to drive like idiots endangering life and limb with their tarted up, big bore, body kit scrap heap specials ( usually uninsured).
      Next time Hammond crashes, I hope Flaxen Saxon is on hand with a box of matches

      • I quite agree Lez. I average 1000 miles a week with my job and its not just boy racers that drive like cunts, BMW and Audi drivers are amongst the worst I’ve ever seen. These makes of vehicle seem to apeal to certain types of people, usually cunts. They seem to adopt an attitude that makes them think they are far superior to other road users and think they have some privileged right to use the roads like a race track. Unfortunately these people have ego’s that far outweigh their driving skills and unfortunately I have seen some totally devastating aftermath after crashes involved with these vehicles, I’m sure Sir Limply could enlighten you !

  2. John Hammond actually reminds me of Sir Hiss (The snake voiced by Terry Thomas) from Disney’s Robin Hood….

  3. I would like to NOMINATE:
    Ann Kirkbride

    The way ITV (especially) have mourned the passing of this 4 eyed cunt is beyond disgusting.
    The fucking old hag is the ITV equivalent of Ian Beale (Eastenders on the BBC) & Nick Pickard (Tony Hutchinson on Hollyoaks on Channel4)
    And what I mean by that is they are one dimensional actors whose whole careers have revolved arounf playing the same fucking character for 40 fucking years.
    Even more disturbing was a couple of fucking arse bandits wheeled on to ITV’s Breakfast show GMB because one had “Deirdre” tattooed on his leg and his ass bandit boyfriend had “Ken” tattooed on his.

    She’s dead, fucking move on.
    It’s amazing how ITV & other broadcasters fawn & mourn over this fucking arseholes like they are some kind of omnipotent God because they appear in fucking Coronation Street/Eastenders etc.
    Old Ethel down our street has just died due to Ian Duncan Smith’s welfare reforms yet that is not deemed newsworthy, some fucking old trout from Coronation Street dies and ITV go in to full memorial meltdown.


    • I think we cunted Grief Tourism recently? Granada TV Studios will no doubt become some kind of impromptu shrine bedecked with so many cheap bunches of half-dead flowers that it will soon resemble the scene of a B Road traffic accident.

      Surprised Stephen-Fat-Cunt-Fry hasn’t tweeted about her death yet, he’s normally quick off the mark when celebrities die.

      • I think grief jacking will be the last thing on Stephen Fry’s mind at the moment, he’s got his 30 years younger husband’s arse to pummel whenever he feels like it.

  4. At least Anne Kirkbride , indifferent actress though she was, did not offend anyone.
    I’d like to offer up for a long overdue cunting, Josie Cunningham. Bad enough that I have to see my taxes go on supporting wasters like her, who screw the benefits system for anything they can get. Infuriating that this woman gets £4,800 for a boob job on the NHS whilst hundreds of OAP’s, die before they can get the treatment they need, but the arrogance, stupidity and selfishness of this chavette, with her latest idea of selling tickets to her birthing really takes the biscuit.
    To then hear the rest of the crap she spouts on an almost daily basis, aided and abetted by the scumbags of the Daily Mirror goes beyond all credulity.

    • Big fucking deal. She wanted bigger tits, she got them. I did it, and a lot of my mates did and none of us would touch you with a 10-foot pole, you bitter little permavirgins.

      • “Big fucking deal. She wanted bigger tits, she got them. I did it,..”
        While we are on the subject, I think you’ll find that stuffing two oranges down your vest does not count as plastic surgery or getting bigger tits.

    • Bringing her up on a post that’s not even about her shows what a fucking loser you are. Get a fucking ride.

      • Which is why you chose to answer my off-topic post with another “off-topic” reply of your own you hypocritical little bitch Now fuck off!

      • Pity they didn’t enhance your brain as well as your tits while they were at it… As for posting off-topic: how do you think all the cunts on here get nominated? You are one stupid trollop (or you might be ‘Dave’ with yet another crappy identity).

      • I gave her photo to the Foundation Degree students to test their skills by doing a digital makeover… all failed Norman

  5. Anne was sound as a person… She used to laugh when people said she cried on screen without tears… Nothing flash or up herself about her… Seen a lot of Street stars about Mcr pubs and clubs in my time… Most are/were alright, some are/were arrogant cunts, but Anne was one of the nice ones….

    • It was always the tendons in her neck that fascinated me, along with Deirdre’s famous chain link belt and the way she always spoke with her mouth full when the Barlows were sat round the breakfast or dinner table. Wonder if we should run a separate Dead Pool for Coronation Street? Ken, Rita and Emily must be due to take their places on the wall of the Rovers beside Betty Turpin.

      • An EastEnders knacker’s yard/dead pool would be even better, Fred… Has anyone else noticed the uncanny resemblance between Shirley Carter from NeverEnders and the character Iris Krell from the League of Gentlemen?

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