Went out for a little swigaroo last night in my local. Quietly having a Ginger Grouse when in walk some rowdy so-and-so’s, you know the type, tattoos and hipster beards (cunts). It didn’t take long for the twits to make their way over to myself and the beautiful Mrs O’MaCunto, when one of these arse-holes plonked his trilby on my head (I mean a fucking TRILBY! On a night out! What an unforgivable cunt).

Well, I charmed these fine young gentlemen with a ‘Nice one, now please fuck off lads’, quite polite of me considering the situation I thought, and upon looking around, the cunts soon discovered it wasn’t the sort of establishment that ‘selfies’ and putting fucking Creed on the jukebox would be accepted. They soon made their way to the exits, departing with a cheeky ‘Yeah, you can keep the hat mate!!’, and off they went on their merry way, sure to end up fingering some transgender looking filly en route to a kebab house.

Anyway, then the Mrs turns to me and says ‘You look like Olly Murs in that hat’. Therefore, it is with great regret that I must cunt myself for resembling that bag of shit. What a fucking dreadful end to the week.

Nominated by : Cunt O’MaCunto