Victoria Beckham, UN Ambassador


I am convinced that the world runs on irony. First the UN makes Tony Blair a peace envoy, then they give him an award as Philanthropist of the Year (I didn’t even know he collected stamps!). Then the UN takes on Bono as special advisor to Wanky Loon. But now they’ve appointed none other than Victoria Beckham as an ambassador. FFS!

So what do you reckon Victoria? “Well, it’s taken me to get to 40 to realise I have a responsibility as a woman and as a mother.” Amazing! She’s been a woman for 40 years and despite her three kids, she’s just realised she’s a mother.

“For some reason people will listen to me. This is the beginning of an incredible journey for me.” Yep, I can’t explain it either but I sure as hell agree that it’s incredible.

Apparently she missed the opening of her shiny new London store to be there saying she felt her public profile meant she had a duty to do more about woman’s health. Bollocks! The only thing Victoria Beckham ever gave a flying fuck about was Victoria Beckham and the promotion of Brand Beckham – so this all fits in as a nice little profile raiser and money earner.

I should know. I’m married to the cunt!

Nominated by: David Beckham

13 thoughts on “Victoria Beckham, UN Ambassador

  1. The world has indeed gone mad. Just confirms, what we have already known for a long time, these positions are awarded for reasons unfathomable, but not on merit- least ways as understood by man.

  2. She ambassador because she C an’t U nderstand N ormal T hinking.

    She also C ontinually U tilizes N ew T echnology.

    She also S till H as I diotic I deas.

  3. The daughter of Satan and the Wicked Witch of the West, the young Posh (as she was christened) spent her early years singing on the tabletops of local pubs as people flung coppers at her. She later divorced her mother as a result of having to sustain this kind of abuse although admitting that it was this early booby exposure that enabled her to become the country wide renowned ventriloquist that she was to become.

    By Simon Fuller (manager of the Spice Girls)

    Victoria Beckham has been the most pathetic, annoying, pointless and miserable person to have ever lived. You would think that someone married to David Beckham and has that much money would be happy, but no the ungrateful stupid bitch still isn’t happy with all that. (probably because her husband hates her and always cheats on her, but you can’t have it all. And do you blame him? She is so ugly!) Victoria vehemently denies that she is in fact one of the original aliens of Old Mother Hubbards Scientology fame to land on earth. She says this is shockingly inaccurate and very hurtful both to herself and her children Zig Zag and Wotsit.

  4. Appointing Victoria Beckham as a UN ambassador is about as appropriate as nominating Anjem Choudary for a Nobel peace prize.
    She reminds me of Lady Macbeth in the way she manipulated David Beckham to be the “celeb” she is today. Let us be totally honest, too sharp faced and waspish to be considered pretty, complete lack of singing talent and a failure as an actress.
    Daddy’s little rich girl, whose sole achievement was shagging an up and coming footballer then cashing in on the tide of fame, with the make up and slap industry.
    “Proper job”? The barbie doll bint would have a heart attack if she was called upon to do anything but paint her nails.
    Goes to show how worthless the whole “ambassador” tag is

  5. I cannot stand this woman…. David Beckham was a decent and friendly lad (he lived up the road from me near Prestwich), a fine footballer and not flash in any way… Then she appeared at half time for the Old Trafford prize draw (‘Who let the dogs out?’ sang the Stretford End). Everyone – and I mean everyone – From Fergie to his teammates to the fans to the guy in Lou Macari’s Chippy all said the same thing: ‘He ‘s a great lad. But she will be the ruin of him…’ And so it came to pass…. She ignored people in the Old Trafford bar, she openly hated Manchester (mutual, you bitch!) and she deliberately fucked up David’s United career and his relationship with Fergie… UN rep? This silly cow couldn’t even boil a fucking egg! And posh? She’s about as posh as Albert Tatlock…

  6. No idea what Beckham saw in the ugly little goblin. Funnily enough, Beckham would make a far better ambassador than her

  7. True…. Dave was never short of birds (and I saw him out with better than her!). He actually didn’t really change as a lad. It was all that stupid showbiz shit she roped him into. He could have been United captain. All true Mancunian reds curse the day he met her….

  8. The sooner both of those clowns disappear from public life, the happier I will be, and they can take Wayne and collette rooney with them

  9. What tickles my bollocks is the fact she is a singer who can’t sing, a fashion designer who has a team of real designers making the overpriced tat that she flogs to morons and a sour faced cunt to boot.

    I did love the statement made by a fawning press that she had ‘designed’ the Range Rover Evoque. Bullshit!! She picked out a couple of material swatches. Hardly getting doen to the nitty gritty of compression ratios and valve timing is it.

    By those standards

    • Every time I visit my tailor or buy some new mats for the car I have elevated myself to the level of fashion designer.

      What a dozy, pointless cunt she is.

      And by the way her ‘fashion label’ looks like it says ‘VD’.

      Too thick to have noticed that one herself, obviously.

  10. I’m told that the press saying about her is that she is so publicity mad she would take a shit in Trafalgar Square with a giant dildo up her twat if it would get her on the cover of Elle

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