Now that the temperatures are rising I am orf to ventilate me privates by the sea side. Have instructed me butler to knot a hankerchief for me head, lever me old arse into a deckchair and break out the Pims. Must say one cannot help but remark upon the invasion of the British beach by fat cunts tatooed up to the eyeballs and beyond. In my day a tatoo was the mark of a convict, a brass or a camp sailor. Now the world and his wife has got ‘em on sweaty display at Margit or Brighton.
Acres of flags and chains and flowers and death skulls but very little useful information such as “Rear Entry Only” on the arse or “Do Not Feed Me Fat Crap Burgers” on the gut. Selfish exhibitionist cretins who think a snake on the cock or a sunset on the tits enhances their self esteem. No it don’t me dears. It just advertises that a sick fat ugly unfuckable cunt is taking up this space.
Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke