He claims to be influenced by all these ‘obscure’ blues artists: like Blind Lemon Jefferson and Rutling Orange Peel, to appear cool and interesting, and to give himself carte blanche to make a noise like Yoko Ono on hormone pills.
This cunt also starts a ‘band’ with his missus (always a no-no!): A mute who looks like a drag act and who ‘plays’ the drums with one arm and no imagination: like a toddler with a Fisher Price hammer. Arguably the most useless band member in history. Definitely the crappest drummer!
He also nicks his wife’s name (she was the one called White) and leads the whole world into believing his wife was his sister (the weird little turd!)! This myth building and bullshit was presumably done to make him (and the mute) appear ‘Rock ‘N’ Roll’ and ‘enigmatic’, and to help hide the fact that they were utter crap! They were married, but they look related anyway: Pair of hayseed hicks…. These knobends were as manufactured and as staged as The bloody Spice Girls. It’s quite astonishing how many people fell for their Carpenters as primal blues purists bullshit, and their brother/sister bollocks.
The staggeringly pretentious embelishements this tosspot adds to his (not at all real) name are also surefire displays of cuntery… ‘Bluesman Jack White?’ ‘Jack White The Third?’ Do piss off!
Then he marries again (a rather beautiful girl this time!): But when they have a kid the cunt gives it his ex-wife/sister’s surname! Which wife/mother worth her salt is ever going to be pleased about that (no wonder she left him!)?!
He also licks every arse in the Rock ‘N’ Roll elite (from Jimmy Page to Jagger to Iggy Pop!), and the way the music press (ie: the wankers at the NME, MOJO and all that other crap!) put this squawking bullshit machine in the same category as Bowie, Dylan, Hendrix etc is like Monty Python’s deadliest joke in the world… Die laughing because it is really that laughable….
Yeah, a true cunt of the highest order.
Nominated by: Norman Whiteside
According to Rolling Stone, Jack White III is “ranked 17 out of the 100 greatest guitarists of all time”. What’s that rustling I hear? Could it be Jimi Hendrix or Paul Kossoff turning in their graves? Probably. Clearly Rolling Stone is populated by tone deaf cunts these days.
Here’s a few quotes I do agree with off the cunt’s own web site :
“His songs are often little more than de-fanged blues, lacking the passion and grizzled realness that makes the genre speak to so many people.”
“Jack White’s cover of ‘Love is Blindness’ is “excruciatingly overwrought”
“In the world of guitar players, he’s not even in the top 20 from Detroit. With all due respect Jack, you have to practice a little bit more…”
Giving this arse a Fender or a Gibson is a waste of a quality instrument. It’s not the instrument you’ve got Jack, it’s what you do with it. I’ve listened to some of your stuff – it wasn’t pleasant but I felt I had to in order to be fair. If I played as well as you, I’d fucking give up. Honest!
Nominated by: Chas C
Jasper has not been picked up by me cunt radar to date so grateful to Norm and Chas for the opportunity to recalibrate it. Coming in loud and clear now. The lead-in photo has clearly been heavily photoshopped to give the cunt’s face some definition and a Johnny Depp out of Hela Bonham Carter feel. In the life this is one blobby cunt.
http://kswt.images.worldnow.com/images/22503251_BG1.jpg
The vocal style is poprock affectation yawn. Lots of luuuv. Musicianship competent but not great in me humble having ripped orf a goodly number of acts in me entreprenurial days. Used to manage a one armed drummer called Dave who punched and headbutted the skins. Treated the audience the same. An original drumming experience. A unique boy.
This White cunt is just hype and shite.
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That film he did with Jimmy Page and The Edge was shit too… Whatever U2’s faults (OK, Bono’s faults) are, Edge is a pretty good guitarist. While Page is the top bollocks (Zep were fucking ace!). What the fuck was this cunt doing with two guitarists of their quality? Oh well, at least he didn’t bring his wife/sister/Brook Bond chimp with a drumkit with him…
Rolling Stone are full of shit! The fact that the likes of Ritchie Blackmore, Slash, Mick Taylor, Angus Young, Prince and Johnny Marr are behind this knobend show what a joke that publication has become…
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I also notice that Jack White is about 70 or so places higher than Dave Davies of The Kinks! I think I’ll have stopped laughing by noon tomorrow…
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Quite right, Norman.
Jury’s out on the Edge (cunt of a name) but don’t rate Slash (another cunt of a name). Page was the dog’s bollocks, ditto Clapton in his day and Paul Kossoff. Dave Davies was slagged off by Page who it is reported was in the studio and visibly winced when Dave laid down the solo on ‘All Day and All of the Night’. Dave has had the last larf on that one IMHO.
I played with Mayall briefly after Mick Taylor left. It’s a long story. Just a short term fill in.
Richie Blackmore was pretty damn good. Have you listened to Blackmores Knight? Different genre from his old stuff, but still shit hot.
Hendrix is still the master for me, although I rate Alvin Lee of 10 Years After and Peter Green pretty high as well. Not a fan of Joe Bonamassa – too flashy for my liking. Pleases himself rather than the audience.
And before you say anything, no I don’t rate myself up there with these guys – as you can tell from the stuff on my free music blog. As someone once said “Do you give it away for free because it’s shit?” Cheeky bastard. I’m not that bad. Hopefully.
But I can till outplay this Jack White cunt.
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Yeah, Chas. I quite like the Blackmore’s Knight stuff. And Kossoff was superb. Any band with Koss on guitar and Rodgers as frontman was going to work…
I also love Hendrix and EC in his Cream/Dominos days. Another good one is Tony Iommi. When everyone talks about Sabbath it’s usually “Ozzy, Ozzy Ozzy” (Dio was a better singer for Sabbarth), but Tony made the Sabbath sound: Taking the tuning down to produce a darker feel. Best heard on “War Pigs” “Iron Man” and “Black Sabbath”.
I also have a soft spot for Steve Marriott: Not for just his Small Faces stuff, because he was great with Humble Pie too. Not really his guitar playing (though he was good!), more a combination of his voice and his playing… Whether he was fronting Small Faces or Pie in a big venue, or singing in a pub, Stevie gave it everything he had…
Looking forward to the Zeppelin vinyl remasters (12 quid a pop. Special offer from What Records online) and it must have been something to play with John Mayall, Chas. Even just for a while…
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Now you’re talking! Take a listen to Iommi’s swan song on their 13 album. It’ll be his last unfortunately as the big C has him but what a way to go out.
Underrated guitarists? Marriot certainly. George Harrison (contraversial that one?)
And how about Pete Townshend, Keith Richards. Segovia, Jango Reinhart, Seasick Steve? Rolling Stone probably never heard of half of them.
Number on on my list will always be Steve Stills. Unbeatable!
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Keef is pretty high on The Rolling Stone list. But Brian Jones isn’t in it at all. Brian was a fine bottleneck player, but he lost interest in the guitar and dabbled with other instruments…. Which annoyed Keith: as it wasn’t a two guitar band any more (until Taylor turned up!).
George was the guy who set The Beatles apart from the others at the start: His 12 string on “You Can’t Do That” “A Hard Day’s Night” and other songs (his descending riff on “Help!”) was something that inspired McGuinn and The Byrds. Lennon was a more gutsy guitarist (“Revolution” and his part in “The End”). And John and George together could be fantastic (”Nowhere Man” “Yer Blues”). Macca is a good guitarist too, but he’s a far better bass player.Thing with George is a lot of people just associate him with that slide guitar sound. And although he played it beautifully, he did much more than that with The Beatles…
Django was a pioneer, and Townshend, with Moon, Roger and The Ox were
terrifying in their prime. The balls and firepower The Who had… That’s what bends my head, Chas: We have seen all these greats. Yet people put this White cunt on a par with them. It’s just wrong…
Saw CSN at the Manchester Arena last October: Stills was spectacular, and his solo on Crosby’s “Almost Cut My Hair” and Steve’s own “Tree Top Flyer” were the highlights.
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Stills made an album called “Just Roll Tape” which is rare but on pirate bay. It’s him rehearsing on his own before a recording session. It’s amazing and my favourite all time album.
If you haven’t heard it, you should.
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Haven’t heard that one, Chas. Will check it out. Thanks.
As well as The White Stripes, The Dead Weather are also a steaming pile of cack… And the singer that White chose for the Dead Weather has more than a passing resmbelance to his wife/sister from The White Stripes… Creepy cunt…
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