Pop star Katy Perry comes out of the capsule in

A cunting for the first all female crew since 1963

I have just witnessed the most pointless ‘piece of history’ , a crew of 6 women including Katy Perry went up to the edge of space, start to finish the whole thing lasted 11 minutes. Yes that’s up, hang around for a few seconds then back down

The ‘mission’ leader was some plastic faced tart who happens to be the fiancé of Jeff Bezos.

Now to be fair it’s something that isn’t without risk although this wasn’t the first flight of blue horizon, it has been tried and tested with no issues so it isn’t the maiden flight type of risk.

What is actually annoying is that this nothing more that a joyride, no scientific interest, no new breakthrough so what is the big deal, it could have been 6 monkeys or 6 sacks of sand.
The description of the 6 as crew is a bit of a stretch, they have zero control of anything and other that the G force (no more than a high end fairground ride) the training is pretty minimal.

The crew are now technically Astronauts 😂, I would prefer a much more accurate description

PAYLOAD – the load carried by a vehicle, particularly an aircraft or spacecraft, that is not essential for the vehicle’s operation itself. This can include passengers, cargo, equipment.

I would say that if offered I would go for the ride 😂

Daily Fail

Nominated by Sick of it.

This is how people are living, they aren’t our lovable painted horse-drawn wagon folk, nor are they the top of the range SUV driving folk who park their caravans in your local Lidl car park, tap into the water/electric, nick everything that’s not nailed down within a mile radius, and fuck off before the police arrive.

No, these are people who are living in cars, vans, horseboxes, old removal vans, etc., because they can’t afford to rent!

However, they are still leaving the same amount of human waste and general debris, so what makes them different?

Well, they’ve mainly got jobs. They go to work, earn a wage, pay tax, etc., and are generally law abiding citizens.

Apparently, the number of folks living like this is so great the local council is looking for a proper site for them.

Great, Britain. We’re just building our first shanty town!

bbcnews

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

Let’s face it, none of us are going to cheat a visit by the Grim Reaper… the most we can do is follow the advice from Blue Oyster Cult and try not to fear him. Most of us don’t want to be reminded of our frail mortality as life is fleeting enough already. Each year that goes by seems to disappear quicker and quicker.

I don’t watch a lot of TV, most of it is crap. However when a rare bout of curiosity sets in and I do try the idiot box, my piss always boils as nearly every other advertisement shown these days is one about planning your cremation. They show OAPs cheerfully talking about their impending Sudden Existence Failure as if it is something to look forward to, smiling whilst they talk about how lovely it is going to be when their bones are pulverised by hammers and then the fragments incinerated to ashes.

I especially hate the ones by Pure Cremation and the one with the smug twat lying in a bath going on about how lovely the funeral was they just went to. He seems to go to an awful lot of funerals and is always talking about them when having a bath; his relatives must be dropping like flies, maybe they all live in that charming village of Midsummer. Well if you like funerals that much you irritating cunt, let me speed up yours for you, that will wipe the smile off your face and give someone else a chance to use the bath.

Cremation adverts in general are all cunts, with the biggest of them being Pure Cremation.

youtube

Nominated by Chunder Tunt.

 

It’s been said before and it’s going to be said many times again; our beloved PM, Sir Kweer Smarmer, is a nauseating hypocrite.

I’m sure it’s not escaped anyone’s notice that today, 23rd April, is St George’s Day, and (stands back in amazement) ol’ TwoTier’s discovered that he’s (gasp!) a patriot, and what’s more, that the Labour Party is ‘the patriotic party’! Honestly, would you Adam an’ Eve it?

Now of course there’s absolutely nothing wrong in celebrating England and Englishness, anymore than when the Scots, the Irish or the Welsh celebrate their heritage on their national days. Naturally however, Sir Smeer can’t just deliver a cheerful message and leave it at that. Nope, he’s got, as they say, to ‘have a go’, which he does by wrapping himself in the flag of St George and niggling away at his enemies. We must ‘fight for our flag blah’ he froths, ‘we must wrench it from the hands of those who want to divide our nation burble’.

My goodness, whoever could he mean? Not ‘the far right’ racist bogeymen again, surely? And do you think, perchance, that someone has reminded him that there are elections due next month, and that Labour could do worse than try to sway us with a show of patriotism, no matter how phoney?

What an oily creep he is. The cunt’s so fucking toxic that he glows in the dark.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Ron Knee.

So this is what we have become. The cradle of the industrial revolution, the world’s first industrial superpower, reduced to an American theme park.

This pile of tacky shite is to be built on the site of what was once the world’s biggest brickworks, sacrificed some years ago to the Green Gods. And here’s Rodney, Rachel from Complaints and lardy Nandy celebrating our country’s decline into a playground for the educationally subnormal.

Ultimately 8000 jobs coming Bedfordshire’s way apparently. So that’ll be 8000 media and diversity studies ‘graduates’ dressing up as Shrek to amuse the hordes of cretinous fuckwits and their feral offspring. Meanwhile Universal will relieve said fuckwits of a month’s disposable income in one day. What a great benefit to the country it will be.

So let’s turn the whole of Britain into a theme park as that’s the way we’re going. Get culturally enriched and play ‘Dodge the Machete’ at the Notting Hill Carnival. Visit the Birmingham Soft Play Centre where the kids can bounce up and down on mountains of overflowing bin bags. Play the Government’s new lottery game – ‘Guess the number of migrants today’. The possibilities are endless.

When I was growing up I felt proud to be British. Today I’m just embarrassed.

bbcnews

Nominated by Geordie Twatt.