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NOW LET’S GET CUNTING!
David Lammy MP
“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s political correspondent Ron Knee reporting. Today I have the *cough* honour to speak to the UK’s Foreign Secretary David Lammy, to discuss the government’s position following the inauguration of President Trump”
“Yessir. How do boss. Well now ah wants ta tell ya all dat Mr Trump ain’t just Mr Trump no more, he’s Da Donald. He gracious an’ generous man. Ah’ll find common ground with him, an’ build ah partnuhship with him in our nashnull internet. Th’ world am glad he returnin’ ta da Big White House bro”
“Er, hang on… Just a few short years ago (presumably when you thought Mr Trump was finished) you called him ‘a tyrant’, and ‘a woman-hating, neo-Nazi sociopath’, among other things”
“Yeh uh well dat all ol’ hat bro, water over de bridge. An ah was misappropriated at da time innit. Only las’ year ah had a dinner with him, an’ he give me extra chiggun! Ah was so happy, ah did the ol’ soft shoe shuffle and gave ’em a song; ‘dem bones, dem bones dem drah bones’…”
“Extraordinary. That must have done wonders to ease any latent tensions. Now I understand that our dear PM is also keen to go to Washington soon to repair relations after being snubbed by Mr Trump and not invited to the inauguration”
“Dat right; the boss wanna talk about de speciality relationship an er…well dat kind of speciality relationship stuff, an ‘deals ta buy an’ sell stuff, an’ de war in Uganda thing ya know what ah mean?”
“Well that’s absolutely fascinating… I think you mean the war in Ukraine by the way”
“Yeah dat one as well. But dat’s you all done man, gotta go back ta de House ta get ma expenses claim in an’ some chiggun peanut stew innit. Dis Secretaryin’ thing doin’ ma head in, know what ah’m sayin an’ stuff?”
“Well not really, but thank you anyway. This is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”
https://www.standard.co.uk/news/politics/donald-trump-keir-starmer-britain-america-b1205804.html
5
Pope Francis
Well that didn’t take long.
Before President Trump had even got his feet back under his desk in the White House, that sanctimonious humbug Pope Francis had a go over the ‘disgrace’ of the president’s plans to intensify immigration enforcement actions in the US.
Il Papa’s got form on this, and has made ‘welcoming migrants’ a recurring theme over the course of his papacy. He stated ‘it would make migrants who have nothing pay the unpaid bill’. He has previously referred to Trump as ‘not a Christian’.
In a subsequent update, the Pope has indicated that the Vatican (which is estimated to hold between $10 and $15 billion worth of gold and other investments, plus an incalculable amount of wealth in property and art treasures) would be digging deep into its own resources to help meet payments on this ‘unpaid bill’. In addition, he stated that several hundred migrants would now be housed in his private apartments, and in those of other senior clerics, as well as being fed, clothed, and given money and a passport**.
**Okay, I made that last paragraph up. Which, I’m sure, will come as no surprise. So go on then, you pious old hypocrite, put your money where your mouth is. We’re waiting, tick tock…
https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/pope-francis-says-trumps-immigration-raids-would-be-disgrace-2025-01-19/
2
Idiotic NHS Advice
I looked at the news pages today and saw an article in the Telegraph, which said that the NHS suggests that the elderly wear shoes or slippers around the house and wear socks to bed at night, if their feet get cold.
Some cunt probably gets paid to dispense this sort of wisdom, probably quite a lot. It stands to reason that if somebody is elderly, they have probably learnt a few things, so can manage perfectly well without these suggestions. It is rather tasteless to give this sort of advice at a time when the winter fuel allowance has been stopped for many.
It is either a massive wind-up or the folks at NHS really do think the general public are all as thick as pigshit.
It is also so fucking irritating that someone could have an aneurysm listening to it. The advice for that would probably be, have a couple of aspirin and a lie down. If I wanted to be talked to like a three year old that has wet itself, I’d probably go round my ex mother-in-laws
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/01/19/wear-socks-bed-winter-nhs/?msockid=1ba9a1e760a767a125e2b1cf611c6678
0