Coronoviral Shit


We all agree that it’s a bit of a cunt – even more so because it’s clogging up the site.

In future you can fill her boots here and if you post anywhere else then guess what? Yep, it’s binned.

3,638 thoughts on “Coronoviral Shit

  1. There should be a special section in Hell for all those twattish cunts who spit/cough at people during this current crisis. More so those fuckers who spit at NHS & supermarket staff.

    Either they do it for the attention/Likes on social media; or they’re just twisted, selfish little fuckers with nothing better to do than cause even more stress and concern for all those who are trying their hardest to get us through this mess.

    Prison is too good for these shits. Bring back the stocks so that we call all piss, spit and vomit on these smug cunts.

  2. Reports coming in that the Royal Navy have intercepted a boat carrying 14 tons of toilet roll, hidden inside a shipment of cocaine….

  3. Now that every man and his dog is seemingly working from home, it would be very wise how you use Zoom for your video conferencing, either to your place of work, or casual domestic purposes (free version or paid, doesn’t matter).

    Zoom is not fully secure; and even though it trots out that it offers End2End (E2E) encryption, it really doesn’t. E2E means full encryption between all client devices, so not even Zoom’s own infrastructure can “break in” and grab whatever is being said or sent down the pipe.

    This lack of true E2E probably won’t bother a lot of people if their conferencing isn’t too overly sensitive, but if you’re into showing off your “manhood” to other people via Zoom, just remember that because Zoom only offers TLS encryption (a poor man’s E2E), Zoom’s techie people could actually see what you’re doing!

    Another thing to remember about Zoom, is that they harvest your personal information via cookies. They also log your IP address, your device details, your location, your contacts etc.

    They justify this in their T&Cs prior to installing the client product – something that 99% of users don’t bother to read.

    They go onto say that “We do not sell your personal data!” But they still have your data, and even though they don’t “sell” your data, they can “give it away” in exchange for something else – which to their way of thinking isn’t “selling” in a fiscal sense, and therefore harvesting and “bartering” is justified.

    And finally, be very cautious if you’re asked to click a URL within a Zoom conference, as the URL could be redirected to a hacked file server. From the URL the file server might be able to detect your Windows login credentials, including passwords.

    And finally finally – when you’ve finished video conferencing always always disconnect or disable your webcam!

    • I’ve heard that Zoom have been selling the personal information of users to the likes Fuckerberg over at Facebook. Wouldn’t surprise me if it’s true.

  4. A couple of ex players (Giggsy and Gary Nev) have done their bit, but Manchester United themselves have done piss all… Those Glazer parasites and that ET look-alike cunt, Woowar are probably more concerned about all the sponsorship deals and hospitality packages they do with the chinx than they are about the people of Manchester and Salford… I will bet my bollocks that when the football resumes, there will still be chinky writing all over the advertising around the pitch at Old Trafford, and that the ground will still be full of chinky daytrippers on ‘business trips’… Absolutely fucking shameful, but not surprising….

    Oh, for the days of the 70s and The Doc….

  5. I’d go back to the 90s in a shot… Some great music, lads could be lads, King Cantona, no wokes of fuckflakes, birds could be appreciated without all this fanatical Me Too bollocks, TV was PC-free, no social media loony bin, pubs were still open, hardly any ‘migrants’ and no one had heard of Chinx Bat Flu or Meghan Markle Fucking Ono Of Sussex….

    Currently listening to some Small Faces… Their 1967 Immediate album and the epic Ogden’s Nut Gone Flake…

    • I wouldn’t mind being back in the 90’s.
      I had a shit load of food, a ton of NBC kit and decontamination stuff.
      I was on my own in a dessert and life was pretty uncomplicated.

  6. A mysterious figure known as the Stockport Spiderman has been cheering up isolated children. The Stocky Spidy can be spotted for one hour each day when he takes his daily government-sanctioned exercise. You can request he visit your street too:

    https://facebook.com/groups/257989072029584/?hc_location=group_dialog

    Some cunt on social media posted these words… But the Spidey cunt does exist…What sort of cunt/creep goes out dressed as Spiderman anyway? And now, during this crisis, on their ‘exercise’ round to get the attention of kids?! And as for requesting his ‘services’?!

    As Clinton Baptiste would say, ‘I’m getting the word…..’

  7. Being a morbid cunt I tend to cross reference the infection to death figures, and the UK is not doing so bad.
    There are obviously some regimes who will not be so forthcoming, Iran for instance seems to be doing well with alan’s blessing considering it’s rather high infection rate.
    Italy has taken it up the arse big time, but they are a touchy feely nation (potentially we could loose a lot of football player as they are a bit cuddely too)

  8. In a similar format to the Dead Pool, how about we start a new format where we try to guess what sporting event will be cancelled next? My money is on the Frog Open tennis.

    You never know, they could bring out the Zorbing Olympics, Obviously a zorbing javelin event will be off the table, but most track sports should be ok.

    • I reckon Wimbledon has got to be a contender. Better still, we won’t have to see ‘celebrities’, most of whom know fuck all about tennis, sitting in the best seats. And even better, it’ll piss that arch traitor and tennis fanatic, Bercow, right off.

      • Wimbledon is already cancelled and tirnd out the Frog Open was before I wrote this as well. Have a feeling the Football League might be cancelled though.

  9. There seems to be an awful lot of criticism for the government with regards its handling of this crisis, even from the like of the Telegraph – a Tory supporting rag.

    I keep envisaging a worst-case scenario after the crisis is finally done and dusted, and there’s another crisis to deal with, that of a government unfit to govern and an election is called for!

    I don’t know if that’s ever happened before (am thinking of the early 70s under Heath, Gallaghan or Wilson), but it would worry me what would happen if an election was called and the Tories got a right old kick in the bollocks however unlikely.

    Imagine a Labour/LibDumb government, and a return of all that Woke shite they were spouting, along with calling for a 2nd Referendum on Brexit, which subsequently went the way of the Remoaners!

    Fucking hell – a woke coalition government and Brexit scrapped. I think I’d rather be happier the the fucking virus!

    • Any 2nd referendum wouldn’t be worth the time or money spent on it since it would be rigged. Remainers would have done it last time but they thought it was a foregone conclusion and didn’t bother, they wouldn’t make the same mistake next time.

  10. I’m just listening to my own stuff to be honest. If I didn’t like it then I wouldn’t have written it in the first place
    Also bangs up my royalties on the streaming sites. I’m a mercenary bastard at heart

  11. On line shopping is a twat now, I went through the major brands and some and it would seem I can get a delivery a week after the end of my natural life.
    Any way I trawled the net for pickled onions, I am partial to them and with the lock down my consumption has increased dramatically so I needed to resupply.
    I found a company “Pshyco pickles” and bought two jars of their finest at a staggering £10 but got next day delivery.
    However I had not read the description that well, they are in fact marinated in napalm.
    I would normally knock back 3 or 4 onions with a bit of cheese, These fuckers I managed 1 onion and half a slab of cheese to cool my mouth down, even my farts burnt after that and this mornings poo was rather painful too.

    • That’ll teach you not to read the description. I did the same a couple of years ago, putting some chili sauce onto a piece of pork pie. I’d run out of one I’d bought at a street market about 5 years previously and, not being able to get any more, had bought some containing ghost chili, which I’d never heard of, and put the usual amount on. The first mouthful had me wondering, between trying to catch a breath, how the fucking pie hadn’t caught fire when I put the sauce on. I didn’t dare fart for a week although the lava-like turd was somewhat tempered by the gallon of water I must have drunk afterwards. I diluted the rest with a big bottle of ketchup but I still use it sparingly.

  12. That is fucking appalling and in my ex-home town. However, it doesn’t really surprise me because Canford Heath is one massive housing estate and is full of skummers.

  13. Imagine if every currently doing fuck all Premier League player donated a whole month’s ‘wages’ to the NHS or the vulnerable and elderly during this crisis… They wouldn’t even miss it, but could it be done?

    There’s more chance of finding Lord Lucan on Shergar, or of me tubbing Christina Hendricks… In other words, no fucking chance… Cunts…

    • Premier League footballers (and their scummy agents) and owners, really are showing their true colours.

      One suspects that even if some of these players (some earning over £300k per week “basic”), did agree to a pay cut of say 25%, there would be conditions, such as:-

      any tax benefits?
      any sponsorship deals or endorsements?
      lots of free publicity for this courageous good deed.
      will need a pay rise after all this is over to recoup any losses.

      Oh, and on the subject of rich irritating cunts, has Lineker, Lily Mong, Owen Jones, and other smug cunts offered any volunteer help for the NHS? Has the Mong offered to open up her mansion to the desperately sick? Has Lineker done likewise?

      The silence is quite deafening

  14. I’ve been taking walks in the local park with Steely Dan, Ash (Nu-Clear Sounds), M83, Lightning Seeds, McFly, mostly uplifting shit. Might try it with a spot of Klaus Nomi this afternoon…

  15. Sainbury’s has decided that only one adult can go in from a couple. You can’t go in with your husband or wife. But you can take your 1, or 3, or 9 fucking kids.

    • Yep and I’m one of the biggest!
      The bumpkins here have no idea what they’re dealing with but that’s limousine liberals for you.
      “Henrietta! have you fed the ponies yet, polo season might be cancelled.”
      La-di-fucking-da.

  16. Oh yeah, a new multi million dollar advertising campaign for overpriced clothes featuring Scarlett Johansscunt is going ahead in China… It’s not her first ad cash grab over there and it will not be the last…

    The woman is a fucking cunt!

  17. Can somebody explain to me how many people have actually died of JUST this virus?

    An average of 1600 people kick the bucket in the UK everyday so is this 1600 + the figures being bandied around?

    Someone mentioned that the actual number of people who have caught this thing and conked out is very low…I know these smokey joes etc would have hacked on a few more months but what is the truth?

    Also Boris, the more you show your crappy adverts the more they will move into background noise and people will start to filter them out.

    • Based on the figures from Italy about 12% of the who died WITH the virus have had the virus recorded as being cause OF death. The deaths reported here aren’t over and above the daily norm. They also aren’t necessarily all from the same day. It depends on when the paperwork gets done.

      Although overall mortality is hardly up on previous years in Italy and is currently lower than average in the UK.

      There’s obviously no way of telling how things would have panned out without the lockdown but as far as I can tell this is about trying to prevent deaths in triage. In short the health officials are running the country with the sole aim of minimising the impact on the NHS. No exit strategy, no consideration for economic or social impact, no consideration for civil liberty.

      To those who say lives matter more than the economy, what pays for the NHS and essential workers?! Millions of jobs are being lost, living standards will plummet and there’s the very real threat of a depression. I know dozens of people who have lost their job I don’t know any that have even had, let alone who have died of the CCP Virus. This is not the bubonic plauge, it’s not even considered high mortality current estimates are 0.6% and likely to be revised significantly down.

      The cure is going to prove much, much worse than the disease.

      • Then I don’t understand the hysteria?

        The Police “warning” people, the skewed death figures…..what’s the point of ruining a country for the sake of this?

      • You tell me. My own opinion is that they’re either frightened that there would be a huge backlash if larger numbers died and that puts their own jobs at risk or its a smokescreen for a power grab. This is the umpteenth pandemic of my lifetime, sars, mers, swine flu, bird flu, I could go on and look how easily civil liberties can be taken away if people are frightened enough. This can only mean lockdowns for all epidemics now, forced vaccination and tracking apps.

    • I read a comment in Daily Panic Mail that was the dumbest thing I’ve ever read. Original comment basically said ‘1,600 people die a day so this virus isn’t that bad’ to which some idiot replied ‘don’t make up stories.’

    • I just want to correct you here if i may? And this is where semantics matter, 46 doctors not 46 doctors working on the frontline.

      There’s actually a website dedicated to the dead doctors and senior health professionals in Italy. Except its been modified to exclude dates of birth to spread miss information.

      Although there’s an archive version that still does. Not all frontline after all, a good few knocking on a bit and no details regarding other health issues. Co as far as I’m concerned completly without context and merely propaganda.

      https://web.archive.org/web/20200328152430/https://portale.fnomceo.it/elenco-dei-medici-caduti-nel-corso-dellepidemia-di-covid-19/

    • Again we need to be careful here, most articles reference workers, not drivers and none reference underlying health issues.

      If the same as the obsessive hunt for young people dying. The media are desperate for these cases when all the facts show that they are statistical outliers. Sad but the leading cause of death in the under 50s isn’t coronavirus, its suicide by a mile. And I fear that’s going to get a lot worse.

  18. This is about politicians protecting their own jobs first and foremost because the NHS has become our new religion.

  19. Allegedly Bill Gates has offered to tatoo everyone who gets the C-19 vaccine, once it comes. Some are calling this the Mark of the Beast!

    Personally?

  20. Just reported my neighbours daughter to plod for breaking lockdown. Silly bitch was out from Friday to Saturday lunchtime, brought a mate with her, that went out and back in the car twice in the afternoon.
    Apart from being total cunts, what the fuck are the parents thinking? Some people don’t deserve kids.

    Trouble is these stupid fuckers catch it – frankly they deserve to – and infect the rest of us…

      • So they could have been doing a night shift in an essential job, delivering medical supplies, or equally as you’ve assumed pissing around. But hey ho, shoot first ask questions later.

      • JPG I small drop of very diplomatic advice.
        Dio is one of the founders of this site.
        Just saying nothing more.

      • @Lord B, sorry but even though Dio may be a founder, if there is no right to question opinions/information then that makes this site no better Twatter, and it appears that nobody here is a fan of that heap of shit.

    • Same here, I live in a shared block and the neighbours son in the flat above was gobbing out of his window in front of my ground floor establishment.
      I dobbed the cunt in without a second thought.
      He was also going out multiple times throughout the day and evening, spent a night out and has a cough.
      Fuck him, the inconsiderate millennial shitbag, my conscience is clear. Do as you will but don’t shit on others when doing it.

  21. Apparently outside exercise may be banned. It can’t come soon enough for me. I am sick of these jogging arseholes and cunts walking their dogs. Most of these fuckhelmets do not stick to the distancing rules and – yes – most of the bastards do go out and do this shit more than once a day. I always did think joggers were cunts, but now they are even bigger cunts. Fuck them all to fuck in a handcart with knobs on.

  22. How the fuck will our few pathetic police stop all people going out, this is going too far me thinks.

    If the useless government doesn’t watch out, public unrest will be along soon because they will just loose co-operation and people will reach that “fuck-it” moment.

    • The average Joe….stay indoors, no job, no contact, no food, useless leadership….stay indoors and starve you cunt.

      Hey, you won’t catch a virus and die because you’ll already be dead by inaction, political inexperience and starvation.

      If it comes to it, I’ll take my chance with johnny virus, at least I know its endgame and intent.

  23. Seems that some rural petrol stations may be forced to close due to lack of business and falling profits etc.

    I just hope the petrol companies like BP don’t go cap in hand to the government asking for a bail out!

  24. So, in case you’ve somehow been hidden up your own arse opening your chakras in a yoga retreat in India for the last 2 months, you’ll have noticed we’re all under a government -imposed lockdown.

    The whole thing has made me mind-numbingly  confused, to the point of placing a tight control on how much actual mind rot radiation I can sustain from the legacy media and social media at large in order to sure up some mental bandwidth of my own to try and form an objective, rational opinion on what’s actually happening.

    Opinions fucking everywhere, none of which I can really truly trust, are colliding into a mounting traffic pile-up of competing theories, conspiracies and paranoia in my poor noggin. I wanna get off the ride. Which has made feel like a total and utter, brain fartingly clueless cunt. I could be doing various little odd jobs and waylaid chores. Instead, I’m gormlessly wandering my front room like a feral ghoul, listlessly trying to figure out how we got here.

    Every day we have new constrictions placed on our civil liberties and creeping proscriptions on our movements. Soon we’re gonna have apply for a fucking sunbathing license. The dossier of new legislation giving all this legal clout (Corona Bill) is a hefty monolithic tome of freedom destroying nightmare juice you could easily pacify a marauding elephant with. And it was voted through like an in-house referendum to allow conjugal visitations at an all male penitentiary. No one read it. Rubber. Stamped.

    ‘It’s for your own good’. Right, I know we’ve got to flatten the curve etc etc. But, was there no way we couldn’t have dealt with this whole thing by quarantining the old or vulnerable and trying to maintain SOME semblance of an economy, instead of going full-draconian Soviet police state and tanking the economy into the bargain?

    It’s more than a bit Orwellian and frankly who here actually trusts the government to give all these powers back after the fact? In full? Honestly, its scary how far this thing could go. We’ve basically given the state a blank cheque to do what they want to us. Complain about it and you “don’t care about the old people”. Fuck off. What about the stored up tragedy a failed economy will cause you short-sighted cunt?

    And what about the healthy old people, now being forced into even more seclusion and disillusionment? The human spirit can become frail before the body follows. But, it will follow.

    I dunno guys. It’s mental. And I don’t know what’s right or wrong. But, to unquestioningly hand over all our civil liberties because the government has decided the safe option is to follow China’s (thats right, China’s) strategy and hope for the best?

    Fucking bored n’all.

    And the thought of not getting my end away and engaging in a lovely bit of afternoon coitus with the fairer sex – indefinitely – has made me look at my hands and say “Boys, you’re gonna have to be strong. It’s not just the constant sanitiser and washing. You’re putting in shifts. We can get through this together. Split the labour and job share if you have to. But, no days off from burping the worm from now on”.

    I mean, I’ve had dry spells. But, this is heading for a Dust Bowl year not seen since the Oklahoma droughts of 1930.

    And Trump is a fucking amoeba. He can’t find his arse from his elbow.

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