Apropos of fuck all can I nominate Sue Perkins for a cunting?

I’ve just sat through her usual piss-poor appearance on a panel show. How does this cunt get on the BBC? I mean all she is is gay, Cambridge educated and female. She’s not funny, but what comedian needs that attribute these days?

Nominated by: Guardian Hater

Sue Perkins urgently needs cunting. You cannot turn on the radio or television these days without encountering this desperately smug, woefully unfunny, third-rate k.d. lang tribute act. If ever someone deserved the full Jill Dando treatment, it’s Sue Perkins.

Nominated by: Fred West

Not in the pink, decidedly erascible you might say. Still stuck in bed with me leg up due to a spot of gout or some such. Forced to have the television on to drown out the sounds of the memsahib shagging the gardener. Poor sod. In between whiskies actually watch some of the shite. Get me money’s worth. Point is at my age the tv licence is free not that I ever bought one.

Why is this Sue Perkins bint on everything? Smarmy smirking superior on quiz shows, braying away on cooking shows with an opinion on everything and a knowledge of fuck all. The ugly chinless dyke spends most of her time when she is not barking at the camera swivelling and goggling her loon eyes through massive bins selecting fillies to shag once she has strapped on her dildo.

Perhaps that is it. In Cameron’s Britain she represents the token dyke. Bloody lot of tokens around if you ask me.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke