(1) I asked for a bike and a iPad. He sent me a fucking cowboy outfit and some lego.
(2) He gives all the most expensive presents to the wealthy households.
(3) He exploits elfs. The poor fuckers don’t even get the minimum wage.
(4) Last year I caught him sneaking into Daddy’s room and shagging Mummy.
(5) I don’t like what he got up to when he sat my kid sister on his lap.

And Santa is an anagram of Satan so that proves he’s an evil cunt.

Nominated by: MiniDioclese

Every year I write to Santa, asking him to bring Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu to my house to take turns to sit on my face, and every year the bearded fat fucker ignores me. I’m starting to think the useless cunt doesn’t exist.

I want Santa cunted and I wanted Rudolph, Donner, Blitzen and the rest of the freaky flying reindeer turned into burgers.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw