Middle aged men in lycra.
What utter bum bothering wankers and CUNTS.

For some reason 99% of men on bicycles seem to think everyone wants to see their fat cancerous carcases shrink wrapped in lycra. In my opinion, this a sexually related offense for which they should be put on the register for.

Apparently this is some sort of teenage minded idolatry of our cycling sports people, however, there is an actual rule that says if you’re not a team member you cannot wear team colours (in fact this cunting could easily apply to middle aged men in football shirts).

Perhaps if you are a genuine tour de france contender wearing lycra may very well get you that quarter of a second lead that you need to win; but does this utalitarian necessity apply to some 47 year old fat CUNT from marketing who only gets out on his carbon fibre five grand bike on sunny sundays? I fucking think not.

Their feeble minded understanding of the world around them also leads them to give cyclists everywhere a bad name by cycling three abreast at every opportunity and refusing to pull over no matter how long the queue behind them.

This is especially frustrating on hills that these walking corpses simply have no physical possibility of climbing at anything over 2 mph. So there we are, stuck behind a lycra clad arse that has been grown out of chips, snickers bars and beer, slowly inching its way up a hill with its mates either side, wobbling around like a scene from some channel four mockumentary and we can’t overtake because of oncoming traffic.

What monumental cunts they all are. And now it’s the new year you won’t be able to get a pint or a coffee anywhere without hordes of these grape smuggling arseholes hovering around blocking every entrance.

And these MAMILs will be jogging everywhere too….

God help us……

Nominated by Cuntflap