In the early days of ITV one of their biggest successes was the American comedy series “I Love Lucy” with Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez. The lovely Lucy was in real life Mrs Arnez. What did she see in him?

It seems ITV, desperately short of comedic material hopes to have a 21st century success with another husband and wife pair of funsters – I Love Pixieballs” because (apparently – I don’t watch morning TV) Edward Balls was in the ludicrous position of “interviewing” his wife, the current Home Secretary about the riots. I can only assume it was a riot of laughter on the couch today – judging by the picture in this BBC piece it does look, indeed, as though Mini-Cooper has shit herself – at the very least she is touching cloth in her Junior Miss Pull-up pants:

bbcnews

Nominated by W. C. Boggs.

Steven is a Dutch Olympic volleyball player and is in the Dutch Olympic volleyball team.

Steven is also a convicted rapist. When he was 19 he raped a 12 year old girl. 3 times. He then returned to the Netherlands but was extradited back to the UK and pleaded guilty in 2016. He was sentenced to 4 years in prison.

When sentencing Steven, the judge said “Your hopes of representing your country as an Olympic athlete now lie as a shattered dream”. Plainly it is a career end for him.
He was then transferred to the Netherlands to serve out his sentence.

Here’s where things take a strange turn.
The sentence was adjusted in line with Dutch law, and the charge of rape was substituted for one referring of sexual acts that violate social-ethical norms.
Sounds like legalese doesn’t it?

After serving 13 months of his original four year sentence, he was released from prison.

Upon his release in 2017, Van de Velde complained about “the nonsense”
(n0n<ense?)
Reporting on his crime in the media Steven went on to claim that the term pdf file did not apply to him. Thus demonstrating zero remorse or regret for his actions.

Fast forward to 2024 and here he is representing his country in the Olympics.

So much for shattered dreams eh?

Getting away with it?

youtube

MSN

Nominated by Harold.

Well, with the awards season starting, somebody had to be first to throw their hat into the ring for the Hazel Blears/Jacqui Smith Memorial Prize for “Expenses Misunderstandings” , and how appropriate it should be one of Kweer’s beloved Asians – Tulip Siqqiq – the (Funny) Business Minister. no less.

I am sure she is just the first in the runners and riders in the annual price for greed and hypocrisy.

The winner will receive a gold plated statue of a nude Lord Mandy with his grapes of wraths, done out in rhinestones dangling down from his well used arsehole, with the motto “It Was Just A Misunderstanding”

Of course it will be decided that Tulip did nothing wrong, and it was just pressure of work. Three weeks in the hotseat does that for you:

BBC News.

Nominated by : W. C. Boggs

An Un-Civil Service cunting for this man in drag, a high flyer in the Civil Service, who, despite an obviously made up forename, likes to dress up in “fetish” gear, and clearly is a woman hater (he believes groups of women who advocate for women are “far right”), children demanding beta blockers should be given them, even if the parents say no, . He has also been appointed “Co-Chairman of the LGBT CIvil Service Rights Group”.

Ignore the paper calling it “her” – this is quite obviously an old poof with a few screws loose – and he lives on our charity. Labour has a plan

Daily Fail

Nominated by W. C. Boggs.

Helmet-haired cunt Rachel Thieves (thanks, Geordie), as you must know, has decided to plug approximately half of the so called defecit by cancelling the £200/300 Winter Heating payment to 10.4m pensioners.

As mentioned previously, she’s further plugged it by handing similar amounts to overseas aid, and UK climate cunt, Our Ed!

That’ll balance the books, Rachel, though I’m fucked if I can figure out how!

Here’s a suggestion, you blind, thick twat, go to Specsavers and then increase the personal allowance for pensioners only, to £25k pa.

This will stop 10.4m pensioners paying income tax on relatively small private pensions, and give them extra cash to put towards their winter fuel bills.

Quite frankly, I’ve paid more in tax than I’ve got in benefit payments like the Winter Fuel Allowance, so I’ve effectively paid for myself and other cunts besides.

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if our annual £10 Christmas bonus was next.

Please remember this, old people vote.

Grauniad.

Nominated by : Jeezum Priest